Sex advice for newbies

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Alright Silver Jelly, ignore everything posted here so far. It's all nonsense. Now, the real trick to sex is to go in guns a blazing! Don't let the noise of whoever or whatever stop you, you're in this for you. You just get in there, you blast off, you get the hell out. Steel isn't strong, boy, flesh is stronger!
OK!
 
P

Philosopher B.

Always remember. A wizard is never late. Nor is he early.

He arrives precisely when he means to.
 
Man, I saw this thread had been updated at 3AM by SJ and thought he was giving us a first-time recap or something.
 
Just to play devil's advocate here -- wouldn't streaming video + bluetooth headset + ventrilo allow him to get real time feedback and advice from the community at large?
 
I just realised I have no idea about what kind/size of condoms I should buy... And I should probably put one on for practice before the real deal, shouldn't I?

Friends with old condoms thay can lend me for practice because they don't use them, here I come.

Wait, that didn't sound right! :p
 
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Wasabi Poptart

I agree that Lifestyles condoms are crap. I don't know what brands are available to you over in Spain though.
 
I like polyurethane condoms better than latex condoms. Like the Trojan Supra, for instance. Plus, you don't have to worry about any "I'm allergic to latex!" surprises when you pull it out from your wallet :) "Not to worry!" you can say "it's latex free. Now put in that ball gag and hand me the riding crop..."

what?
 
Best advice so far, Tin! :p

@Morphine: Yeah, well, I hope she feels a similar with my tender clumsiness and inexperience... But, after all, that's the way I LIVE, so I guess she already likes that if she wants to have sex with me... XP
 
Best advice so far, Tin! :p

@Morphine: Yeah, well, I hope she feels a similar with my tender clumsiness and inexperience... But, after all, that's the way I LIVE, so I guess she already likes that if she wants to have sex with me... XP
Indeed, don't try to hide it...
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
My first time involvement fumbling, nervousness followed by limpness in the John Thomas, and fears of latent homosexuality.

Seriously, though, there's been some great advice here.
1.) Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.
2.) Talk with your partner.
3.) Listen to your partner.
4.) Learn what turns you on, learn what turns her/him/them on, and combine.
5.) Protection. Use it.
 
I know the stereotype of the person who uses somebody to have sex but never calls. But what I don't know is... What is that call supposed to be about?

(yeah, tis question is probably more the result of my social awkwardness than my sexual inexperience, but this still seemed like a good place to ask)
 
The call is about anything. What they mean is that you banged someone and then just never talked to them again. It's not inherently bad, but only if there was an understanding that this was a one time thing, which for a lot of people, they think it wasn't.
 
I imagined it could be something like that, but I preferred to ask. Sometimes I'm surprised at some social interactions thta others might find obvious.
 
I imagined it could be something like that, but I preferred to ask. Sometimes I'm surprised at some social interactions thta others might find obvious.
Welcome to life, brah. Half the time, folks are just trying to figure out what others mean... Don't stress over it, just keep on trying.
 
Yeah, the "call" afterwards is sort of just a sign that you're still interested i nthe other person, and weren't just in it to score.
Asking out on a date, trying to meet up for coffee, whatever, are good day-after calls. Giving a C- and a "good effort but needs some practice" might not be.

As far as condoms go, I've always been a fan of the Durex Featherlites. They're thinner than usual (because, seriously, people who say you don't feel a condom are either lying or insensitive down there), and slightly (just 2 mm) wider than average, which, to me, is the difference between painful blue ring around my penis, or just very tight. You may not have the same problem.
If you're unsure about the condoms you may like or not, buy some and try them out. If you're below-averagely endowed, don't be afraid to try some smaller-sized ones; if they're a better fit, use them. It's rather silly to use a condom that's too big and have it slide off. Sort of defeats the purpose.

Also, good luck mate.
 
i don't like featherlite, i've had to change 3 times during intercourse because it kept ripping off. WAY TO KILL THE MOOD btw
 
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