There are Cougars eyeing me at Starbucks...

[Calleja]

Well... do they count as cougars if they aren't hot? If not, then I'm being eyed by unattractive forty-somethings who dress like they were 16.

Oh, the cellulite.

Help?

 

[ElJuski]

You're on your own, bitch.

 

[Calleja]

They just asked me for a lighter and giggled when I said I didn't have one.

I have never felt eye raped before.

Mommy.

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

I hope they aren't hungry.

 

[Morphine]

uhm, crazy idea here... have you tried ignoring them?

 

[Calleja]

They're RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, they're always in my peripheral vision and there are no other places in the entire starbucks. Stupid popular starbucks.

Ok, I just distinctly heard them deciding who gets me. I am not even kidding they are discussing amongst themselves who saw me first.

I am OUT OF HERE.

---------- Post added at 12:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:44 PM ----------

......ok, new development. Another 40 year old joined them.... and she's HAWT.




...maybe I'll stay a little longer. aranoid:

 

[Disconnected]

there is only one thing to do. grab your package and wait in the alley.

 

[Calleja]

Bah, the hawt cougar is not a cougar... she's happily married and not eyeing me lustfully at all. The bitch.

The other two are now telling stories of their "20-something" conquests. The hawt one laughs. IT'S NOT FUNNY YOU HAWT NON-COUGAR!

 

[Espy]

They're RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, they're always in my peripheral vision and there are no other places in the entire starbucks. Stupid popular starbucks.

Ok, I just distinctly heard them deciding who gets me. I am not even kidding they are discussing amongst themselves who saw me first.

I am OUT OF HERE.

---------- Post added at 12:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:44 PM ----------

......ok, new development. Another 40 year old joined them.... and she's HAWT.




...maybe I'll stay a little longer. aranoid:

This own't end well.

 

[Cajungal]

They're probably lonely, so they're talking big. You should walk over there, take em home, and knock em both out at once. Take one for the team, old nut.

 

[Calleja]

Seriously, are they modeling their lives on Sex and the City characters or something!?


GASP! NO! It's worse!!!

These, people, are the REal Non-Housewives of Mexico.

 

[General Specific]

My advice?

 

[Dave]

Walk up to the one talking the loudest and ask her, "Pardon me, but don't I know you?" No matter WHAT she says say, "I think I dated your daughter."

 

[Cajungal]

Oooooh DAMN. :heh:

 

[Necronic]

Thats wrong dave.....aren't you old people supposed to have solidarity?

 

[Calleja]

Ok, a table inside was freed up and I ran to it. Ahh, air conditioning.

Now... new scenario. There's a table of HAWT girls right next to me... but I'm not sure how old they are. I mean their bodies say 22, but some of their faces say 16.

Halforums, I need a reason to check IDs at a Starbucks! STAT!

---------- Post added at 01:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------

I HAVE BECOME A 20 SOMETHING COUGAR!

 

[General Specific]

Ok, a table inside was freed up and I ran to it. Ahh, air conditioning.

Now... new scenario. There's a table of HAWT girls right next to me... but I'm not sure how old they are. I mean their bodies say 22, but some of their faces say 16.

Halforums, I need a reason to check IDs at a Starbucks! STAT!

---------- Post added at 01:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------

I HAVE BECOME A 20 SOMETHING COUGAR!

My advice?

 

[Krisken]

And make her cry by saying grand-daughter instead.

 

[Azurephoenix]

Now the circle is complete...

 

[Dave]

When I was younger I worked at Red Lobster. One of our hostesses was like 50 or so (at the time) and she had a habit of dating much younger men. I found out one day that I had gone to school with her daughter so we hatched a plan to prank her. Her mom told her to meet her for lunch there as she wanted to introduce her to her new boyfriend.

They were sitting in the booth and I walked over and gave her a kiss on the cheek and then sat down. Her daughter looked like she was going to implode right there.

 

[Krisken]

Now the circle is complete...

At this moment the 16 year olds are saying to each other

"Oh my god. That old guy over there is eying us up. Maybe we can get rid of him by saying we dated his son..."

 

[Azurephoenix]

Now the circle is complete...

At this moment the 16 year olds are saying to each other

"Oh my god. That old guy over there is eying us up. Maybe we can get rid of him by saying we dated his son..."[/QUOTE]

Exactly!

 

[Denbrought]

It's important that you stand on two legs, try not to crouch, as that'll make you look like prey. Standing on your tip-toes and spreading your arms should help, it'll puzzle it and won't recognize you as food. Don't run, as that will trigger their prey-chasing instincts. At most, you can try backing away towards the entrance. Remember that normally they'll be accompanied by one to five cubs each, so try not to go closer to them, as that might trigger their motherly instincts and prompt them to attack.

 

[Calleja]

Tee hee.. I'm getting looks from one of the girls at the next table.

I'm wearing a white shirt and my tattoo can be seen a bit through it. I just distinctly heard them say it's "hot".

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting a phone number today.





I love starbucks

 

[Espy]

Now the circle is complete...

At this moment the 16 year olds are saying to each other

"Oh my god. That old guy over there is eying us up. Maybe we can get rid of him by saying we dated his son..."[/QUOTE]

In fact if you, not that I do, had an account at "twilightteensforum.com" there is a thread right now called, "Creeeeeepy old guy eying us upomgwheresedwardwhenuneedhimwtflol!"

 

[LordRavage]

I keep picturing this scene happening in all StarBucks....in Mexico.

 

[Calleja]

I love flirting. Seriously, it's fun and ego-boosting and awesome.

They're all 20 -22 by the way :biggrin:

 

[Cajungal]

Score! Have fun!

 

[Disconnected]

Ok, a table inside was freed up and I ran to it. Ahh, air conditioning.

Now... new scenario. There's a table of HAWT girls right next to me... but I'm not sure how old they are. I mean their bodies say 22, but some of their faces say 16.

Halforums, I need a reason to check IDs at a Starbucks! STAT!

---------- Post added at 01:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------

I HAVE BECOME A 20 SOMETHING COUGAR!

dear penthouse, you won't believe this...

 

[sixpackshaker]

Tee hee.. I'm getting looks from one of the girls at the next table.

I'm wearing a white shirt and my tattoo can be seen a bit through it. I just distinctly heard them say it's "hot".

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting a phone number today.





I love starbucks

I guess Miss Monogamy is out of the picture...

 

[Piotyr]

I think the cougars are more likely to share your taste in music.

 

[Calleja]

We're still talking and seeing each other like once a week, but I've slowed things down and openly told her that I'm seeing other people. she's still pursuing me, though... which is both awesome and a bit... uncomfortable at times. I dunno, I'm unsmitten but I'm not sure why.

---------- Post added at 01:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:26 PM ----------

I think the cougars are more likely to share your taste in music.

Ask morphine what music she likes. She's younger than me.

 

[General Specific]

Watch it turn out that these girls are the cougars' daughters

 

[Denbrought]

I think the cougars are more likely to share your taste in music.

Ask morphine what music she likes. She's younger than me.[/QUOTE]
We assume you had plenty of time to corrupt her, she's been compromised.

 

[Cheesy1]

Watch it turn out that these girls are the cougars' daughters

HA! I was JUST thinking that!

"By the way, my mom and her friends said they think you're 'delicious.'"