The North Ranger Paradox! I have solved it!

[strawman]

These pants suck!

If they literally did, there'd be a market for them...

 

[Azurephoenix]

Haha... true... but they don't... they just look fugly and uncomfortable

 

[North_Ranger]

Sauna's rule! These pants suck!

Despite the error with the apostrophe... you're okay in my books.

 

[Azurephoenix]

I blame the error on not having enough sleep to due my son being awake with a fever all last night.

However, saunas do indeed rule (must be my Scandinavian heritage talking).

 

[Mathias]

I can't hear you, I'm wearing my Jacuzzi suit...

How can you not like a sauna? The cedar smell alone is to die for.

 

[North_Ranger]

Nice moobs.

 

[Mathias]

Nice moobs.

?

 

[HCGLNS]

Must be Finnishian for Milhouses' Moms' Boobs.

 

[North_Ranger]

Oh? I thought that was Mathias. I haven't seen a picture of him in a while. Guess I got confused

 

[HCGLNS]

And can explain why you think that anthill is large? I live in Canada, we have beaver dams bigger than Helsinki over here.

Also

Sauna-pants!

 

[North_Ranger]

And can explain why you think that anthill is large? I live in Canada, we have beaver dams bigger than Helsinki over here.

Also

Sauna-pants!

I've seen your North American ant-hills. Just wanted to make sure you understood the severity of my threat. Of course, I could simply staple some steaks on your naked ass and let the bears have their way with you.

Also

You're no longer welcome to sleep on my couch-bed.

 

[HCGLNS]

I could simply staple some steaks on your naked ass and let the bears have their way with you.

Can't be worse than the bear attack I survived when I was a park ranger up in the shield back in the 80's.

Fuckin bastard ruined my zippo!

 

[North_Ranger]

There's just no pleasing you, is there?

 

[HCGLNS]

You could just try the sauna-pants

 

[North_Ranger]

Sure, sure. Right after I cover my balls with Bengay and listen to Abba.

 

[HCGLNS]

Awesome! So next Tuesday then?

 

[North_Ranger]

Don't make me slap you back to Melmac, dude.

 

[Gusto]

He will not try them in a box.

He will not try them with a fox.

 

[HCGLNS]

He will not try those sauna-pants!
He will threaten you with ants.

 

[Null]

When I opened this thread, I expected to see a picture of assless chaps as the answer. I don't know if I'm any less disturbed, though.

Yeah, but that's what you expect in EVERY thread. It's time to adjust your hopes, man.

Also, if chaps covered the ass, they'd be pants, not chaps.

 

[Tress]

This thread has shown me why HCGLNS is one of my favorite posters around here.

 

[figmentPez]

What would happen if you wore sauna pants inside of a sauna?

 

[Cheesy1]

You would be awesomeness per-sauna-fied?

 

[Wasabi Poptart]

You would be awesomeness per-sauna-fied?

 

[North_Ranger]

You would be awesomeness per-sauna-fied?

You're already on my List, cheese-boy.

 

[DarkAudit]

This thread needs more pink...

 

[Allen who is Quiet]

You're already on my List, cheese-boy.

 

[North_Ranger]

It's not that kind of a list, you perverted hipster. Not unless you're into severe beatings administered with deepfrozen goods.

 

[Allen who is Quiet]

:angry:

I am not a hipster.

 

[North_Ranger]

You wear clothes, do you not?

 

[Allen who is Quiet]

Without being ironic, yes.

 

[Emrys]

This thread is so full of awesome. And saunas.
Awesaunas!

 

[HCGLNS]

OK, so the Finns will build a gondola sauna

but won't try sauna-pants?

Silly Finns.

 

[Ravenpoe]

For a fin, ranger sure is uptight. He won't wear sauna pants, he won't have a orgy with me... Where's the adventure, man?

 

[Officer_Charon]

It's BECAUSE he won't wear the pants that he's so uptight... he just needs to learn to relax...