Rapture after-party
- Thread starter strawman
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Well, if the world is ending and the apocalypse is beginning, I imagine there are so many people being raptured and so much upheaval that getting a report out might be tough. So maybe no news is bad?
Hotlinking because after the rapture it won't matter none, son!
(via http://laughingsquid.com/this-weeks-5-day-weather-forecast/ in case they block hotlinking...)
Man, if the world ends tonight, that'll be the worst way to go out: working at Blockbuster, right after hearing from my boss that we'll be closing in a few months.
Ah, just don't show up:
"Why weren't you at work yesterday, Nick?" "Because fuck you, the world was supposed to end!"
Stephen Fry's take via Twitter:
"Marvellous news! #rapture doesn't mean end of world: apparently all the plantet's imbeciles disappear in one go #dreamcometrue"
And a follow up to someone:
"Calm down. Never said all Christians are imbeciles. Just those who think they'll be raised up today. They do the faith a grave disservice."
"Marvellous news! #rapture doesn't mean end of world: apparently all the plantet's imbeciles disappear in one go #dreamcometrue"
And a follow up to someone:
"Calm down. Never said all Christians are imbeciles. Just those who think they'll be raised up today. They do the faith a grave disservice."
Randy Savage died in order to stop the Rapture... I... I can actually believe that
He gave his life, that we might all snap into a Slim Jim...
Stay macho, man. *SNAP*
Stay macho, man. *SNAP*
Jesus versus Savage at the Pearly Gates this Sunday for the Heaven Heavyweight Championship, it's going to be a real slobbernocker! OHHH YEEAHHH!
What if he was just the only one who got picked?
Then upon being struck down, he became more powerful than we could possibly imagineWhat if he was just the only one who got picked?
W
Wasabi Poptart
My mom told me I was awful for laughing at this picture as hard as I did yesterday.
You should only feel awful if your Mom doesn't convert to Macho-Madness! A new subset of Christianity wherein, Randy Savage ascended up to Heaven, climbed to the top rope of the Ring of Eternity and dropped the big elbow on God himself. And when God awoke, it was not 1 thousand, not two thousand but 3 thousands years later. Ooooh Yeah!
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Staff member
Harold Camping speaks out.
Nothing earth-shattering (ba-doomp crssh). He gets a little sexist, surprisingly tolerant of non-christian religions while ironically lambasting Christian denominations.
Nothing earth-shattering (ba-doomp crssh). He gets a little sexist, surprisingly tolerant of non-christian religions while ironically lambasting Christian denominations.
Now I am starting to realize why false prophets were burned at the stake 500 years ago.
To be fair, his original claim was:
Rapture (second coming of Jesus) May 21, 2011 with up to 200 million humans being taken up.
5 in between months used to torture those remaining behind with apocalyptic/cataclysmic devastation.
World ends October 21, 2011.
His latest statement was that he's not sure why the rapture didn't happen, but he's quite certain the end of the world will still occur as predicted.
If you've seen his explanations for how he calculated the dates, though, it's utterly hilarious. He's literally pulling numbers out of thin air (based loosely on the bible) and using math to generate the dates.
He appears to be discounting the idea that maybe the rapture did occur, but the people taken up weren't noticed. I assume it's because he wasn't taken up, that he doesn't believe anyone was.
However, about 150,000 people die every day, and over the next 5 months that will add up to over 20 million, which is certainly "up to 200 million" so perhaps he's just off by his method of rapture (death vs floating into... uh... space......?) and the timeframe (single day vs spread out over time).
That and the fact that less then a dozen people disappearing would barely even register as a statistical bump...
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