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Go on...
Sex Rant. See disclaimer.
- Thread starter Shegokigo
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Damn straight. I haven't had sex in... *count* Oh god that's a depressing number of months.
That's certainly one way to put it.
Danke Null, always appreciate your optimism. Even if you are a bit of a lying bastard sometimes.
I feel like riding out with my face half painted blue and just take her right now!
Yeah I'm going to make sure I drive that detail home as much as I can, I still get a slight vibe of her wanting more though. We'll see. As for him? He's a decent enough guy actually. His reason for "no" is mostly worry that she'll leave, though I'm almost positive she wouldn't, he's a bit insecure.
B
Biannoshufu
where the hell is Sera?
@Shego
I'm not going to consider her feelings at all, because she's made her decision and it's not your job to be her moral center.
so you've already made your choice to do it then? Is this that girl? the one you used to talk about?
Just make sure you sweep the room for cameras that you didn't put there, and make sure you have a failsafe burn plan to cut all contact in the extremely rare ( HA!) case she goes psycho on you.
uh, no...unless you're talking porn lesbians.
@Shego
I'm not going to consider her feelings at all, because she's made her decision and it's not your job to be her moral center.
so you've already made your choice to do it then? Is this that girl? the one you used to talk about?
Just make sure you sweep the room for cameras that you didn't put there, and make sure you have a failsafe burn plan to cut all contact in the extremely rare ( HA!) case she goes psycho on you.
Fair enough.There's way too much talk and not enough pictures here.
Only picture I have of her that isn't too revealing of her identity. (I love her hair so bloody much, it's easily one of my favorite features).
Pic of us the night of the "attack".
It's a choice, then. Short- or long-term? It's something that can't be undone. It's something that'll be hard to hide. I don't see this ending up being a good thing. At some point, word'll get to the hubby and then the entire relationship is going to hinge on whether his heart gets broken by it. Worse yet, there's the chance that she'll use it as leverage (against him) in the future.
That said, I also think it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That's very tempting. I don't know if the reality could live up to the hype, the way you've been painting it. Assuming it even comes close, it should be very rewarding for both of you. But I don't see it becoming any sort of Same Time Next Year kind of thing.
Kati's advice is to do it unless she's a serial monogamist. Those people are always looking for the next new person to take them away from the last one, and you may not want her glomming onto you and bringing all her drama (unless of course you like the drama). Be sure you want the drama before you go inviting it to spend the evening.
--Patrick
On unrelated note: 'grats (and more than a little jealousy) on improving your job situation.
That said, I also think it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. That's very tempting. I don't know if the reality could live up to the hype, the way you've been painting it. Assuming it even comes close, it should be very rewarding for both of you. But I don't see it becoming any sort of Same Time Next Year kind of thing.
Kati's advice is to do it unless she's a serial monogamist. Those people are always looking for the next new person to take them away from the last one, and you may not want her glomming onto you and bringing all her drama (unless of course you like the drama). Be sure you want the drama before you go inviting it to spend the evening.
--Patrick
On unrelated note: 'grats (and more than a little jealousy) on improving your job situation.
I dunno about this.
If she just wanted to get her lez on she'd get all up in that at her first opportunity. The whole "weekend at the beach" thing seems like she's setting it up to be a lot more than that.
Best case scenario is that she's thinking "if I'm going to have a taco I might as well go for an all you can eat buffet." So the emphasis isn't on the beach but the weekend trip.
It's the whole wanting to wake up next to you thing too. That means romance, and more than just telling her she's looking fly in them jeans. This leads to the worst case scenario in which you are being guilted into being "other mommy" to some kids that hey look they pooped again isn't that something?
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Try to gauge what level of romance she's looking for. I'd inquire a bit more as to why the beach as opposed to say, a classy hotel or something. Does she want to lay in your arms in the warm sun, watching the tide go in and out (fun fact: you can't explain that) or does she want to go some place where you can see half naked chicks without having to get a bunch of ones beforehand and listen to "pour some sugar on me" more than you intended to.
If she just wanted to get her lez on she'd get all up in that at her first opportunity. The whole "weekend at the beach" thing seems like she's setting it up to be a lot more than that.
Best case scenario is that she's thinking "if I'm going to have a taco I might as well go for an all you can eat buffet." So the emphasis isn't on the beach but the weekend trip.
It's the whole wanting to wake up next to you thing too. That means romance, and more than just telling her she's looking fly in them jeans. This leads to the worst case scenario in which you are being guilted into being "other mommy" to some kids that hey look they pooped again isn't that something?
PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Try to gauge what level of romance she's looking for. I'd inquire a bit more as to why the beach as opposed to say, a classy hotel or something. Does she want to lay in your arms in the warm sun, watching the tide go in and out (fun fact: you can't explain that) or does she want to go some place where you can see half naked chicks without having to get a bunch of ones beforehand and listen to "pour some sugar on me" more than you intended to.
C
Chibibar
Heh. I told my wife the same thing. It is a two way street with us.
shego, well, as long she understands (I mean really understands) the situation that this is just a physical fling and nothing more, then have fun! I am kinda shocked that her b/f isn't as open minded.
He might be the kind of guy who has himself convinced that she's too good for him and will bolt as soon as she's had a taste of someone better. True or not, it's the sort of thing that can keep a guy up at night.
--Patrick
Or shit, maybe some people like relationships to consist of just two people. Shocking I know.
Cajungal
Staff member
It's tricky. It's not something that always comes up when you decide to commit to someone, but I suppose it should be: Are you someone who wants to commit to one person sexually, or do you want this relationship to stay more open? Sometimes people don't realize it's an issue at first. Hell, it's something I've discussed with the fella. I'm not "there" yet, but I was curious to know what he would think of that if one of us ever started feeling unfulfilled. Ideally, it's something you know about that person before you become "exclusive" (or some version of that), but life's not perfect.
Makes sense. For some people, the standard is 'exclusivity' so much that they don't even recognize the existence of other types of relationships. I suppose the trick is 'never assume'.
People tend to get into troublesome shit through lack of communication.
Preach on brother, preach on.
Too true, The kind of people you don't think swing? They're the majority. I'm just sayin....
The ones you think are very open? I've seen more than enough that are even more jealous and possessive from that group.
Normally the reason the girls go behind the guy's back is because he either says "No, unless I can be there/join in" or "No, am I not good enough?"
The ones you think are very open? I've seen more than enough that are even more jealous and possessive from that group.
Normally the reason the girls go behind the guy's back is because he either says "No, unless I can be there/join in" or "No, am I not good enough?"
Exactly. And he's worried she will prefer Shego to him.
Disclosure: I'm one of those people Adammon mentions. I prefer the Perfect Pairing. I think I've found it. This makes me (us) very happy. I know that there are many people out there who have not found their One True Love. Honestly, I don't understand why someone would not leave one relationship for another if it were an obvious upgrade. I'm just pretty sure that's not what we're talking about. "Fling, not ring," and all that.
--Patrick
North_Ranger
Staff member
"Fling, not ring".
I like that, Patr. Nice one.
But to Shego... pretty much what everybody else has said. Make sure you both know what you're expecting to get out of this tryst/relationship/whatever, otherwise one or both of you is up for a rude awakening at some point in the future.
On a personal note, I despise cheating on principle, partly because I'm a hopeless romantic and partly because at once point I was the cheated partner. But from a practical point of view, I can understand how being a bisexual can put shades of gray into the whole matter. Not saying that the guy should have known his wife would automatically wish to take a walk on the other side someday, but at least understand that such a thing might happen. You know, keep an open mind and such.
But I digress. Do what you think is right, Shegs, but try not to get mixed up in the family drama should the hubby find out about his wife ordering a fish taco.
I like that, Patr. Nice one.
But to Shego... pretty much what everybody else has said. Make sure you both know what you're expecting to get out of this tryst/relationship/whatever, otherwise one or both of you is up for a rude awakening at some point in the future.
On a personal note, I despise cheating on principle, partly because I'm a hopeless romantic and partly because at once point I was the cheated partner. But from a practical point of view, I can understand how being a bisexual can put shades of gray into the whole matter. Not saying that the guy should have known his wife would automatically wish to take a walk on the other side someday, but at least understand that such a thing might happen. You know, keep an open mind and such.
But I digress. Do what you think is right, Shegs, but try not to get mixed up in the family drama should the hubby find out about his wife ordering a fish taco.
Ordering a fish taco. You made my night right before calling it one 
As for the situation, he KNEW she was a long time bisexual who had spent years living with women as well as men when he got into the serious set-up with her. If he didn't know, then I gave him more credit than I should have.
As for the situation, he KNEW she was a long time bisexual who had spent years living with women as well as men when he got into the serious set-up with her. If he didn't know, then I gave him more credit than I should have.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Ze image, she is broken...
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