not so serious but I want to rant II: Redemption
- Thread starter phil
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Well, I've sometimes talked about how I have a little trouble socializing, and I've been less than stellar with some girls (as Halforums already knows), but, man! This time I was doing it better than the last, having learned from my mistakes, being more active, confident (but a little cautious too, this girl has been known to give mixed signals in the past), having my "window of opportunity" in my mind to help me overcome some of my anxieties wich could stop me...
... and then this dude comes and jumps right through my window.
I mean, I couldn't be happier if my "dream girl" came to me one day and told me she thought I was sexy and wanted to see me next wednesday night. I understand her situation. BUT COME ON!
... and then this dude comes and jumps right through my window.
I mean, I couldn't be happier if my "dream girl" came to me one day and told me she thought I was sexy and wanted to see me next wednesday night. I understand her situation. BUT COME ON!
GasBandit
Staff member
It's nothing like that, dude. maybe my angry drunken english isn't clear, but not only the starting situation is different but i've stated I understand her situation. I'm just ranting because of bad luck.
GasBandit
Staff member
Maybe it should be.
She can fuck the guy, be done with it, and still go out with you. Seems like it's a lust thing there; she's allowed to do that and you guys aren't exactly going out. Let her have her one-night stand and then pick up from there.
Although, if she's talking to you about guys she's fucking, you're probably already in the friend zone.
Although, if she's talking to you about guys she's fucking, you're probably already in the friend zone.
GasBandit
Staff member
Maybe he feels differently, but as for myself, I would find this chain of events grounds for never calling her again. She's cutting short a date with SJ to go have sex with someone else. That to me speaks volumes about the lack of quality in her character. Next time the bitch is lonely and wondering why, maybe someone should explain to her that sloppy seconds is not a compliment.
No, no, that's what mutual friends are for. "Don't get your hopes so high because..." etc. etc.
Our situation was a little more complex, she had a not-a-boyfriend (nothing serious) who is spending some months in another country, and she felt lonely. That's why she started showing some interest in me. But if she has found this hot dude, ready to use, just add water, to keep her company until the other guy returns... I'm out of the game.
Added at: 01:09
I don't feel THAT differently, but it wasn't a date, just hanging out. I had planned, after seeing how we did tonight, to tell her to have a date, explicitly saying so so there was no "i thought we were just hanging out as friends".
Meh, it didn't work out, but this time it was sheer bad luck.
Added at: 01:15
(I'll go to sleep now.)
Clarify?
M
makare
That comic confuses me. They have been talking for a few hours but how has she made it pretty apparent she is attracted to him? You can talk to people or hang out with them even if you aren't attracted....
Cajungal
Staff member
That's kind of how I feel. I was told a few times a while back that I was "obviously flirting" with someone when I was really just enjoying a conversation with a pleasant guy. I reserve the right to enjoy someone's company, laugh loudly at genuinely funny jokes, and give bone-crushing hugs without also wanting to jump their bones.
I have no idea what it's like to a guy who just wishes that he knew what a girl was thinking, though. So, I feel for guys who struggle with that. I.E., I feel for guys.
I have no idea what it's like to a guy who just wishes that he knew what a girl was thinking, though. So, I feel for guys who struggle with that. I.E., I feel for guys.
Interpretation: Cajun is totally into you.
She is?
I KNEW IT.
I KNEW IT.
fade
Staff member
Wait, how can you question the strip on an explicitly stated point? We have nothing but the authors explicit statement to go on, we can't "uninterpret" it back to mean "mild banter". I mean, the second panel makes it plain that this has been an engaged two hours of some obvious signals we didn't see.
I'm pretty sure I wasn't talking about friendly chatter, and I'm fairly certain the comic's author wasn't either. I have been in the situation multiple times, and any male here has. The one where it's obvious, and not just, "I like stuff and you like stuff". I mean, there have been cases in my own dating life where it wasn't even guesswork! It was "I like you, you're cute! Oh, that's my boyfriend calling!"
I'm pretty sure I wasn't talking about friendly chatter, and I'm fairly certain the comic's author wasn't either. I have been in the situation multiple times, and any male here has. The one where it's obvious, and not just, "I like stuff and you like stuff". I mean, there have been cases in my own dating life where it wasn't even guesswork! It was "I like you, you're cute! Oh, that's my boyfriend calling!"
But there's plenty of situations where a girl is just talking and a guy is reading it as "she likes me, she's into me." Be it at work as just co-worker chit-chat or classmates, or even friends where the girl thinks of the guy as a friend and the guy thinks otherwise. Even situations like this comic happen more often than you'd think these days:
Sometimes guys just read too much into a girl being friendly.
On the other hand, sometimes girls do seem to be playing with you. This gem from a couple years ago I feel is a good example, from a conversation on Valentine's Day, after our third time out.
Her: "I had a really good time tonight, thanks for asking me."
Me: "Oh, my pleasure. Do you want to get a cup of coffee or something?"
Her: "No, I'd better get home, it's getting late."
Me: "Fair enough. Want a good night kiss?"
Her: "Actually... I think we should just be friends. I'm not really interested in you like that."
Me: "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but I appreciate you making it clear."
Her: "By the way, I had a really good dream the other night. You were sitting in the front seat of your car and I was mounting you, bouncing up and down. It was *awesome*!"
Me: "Wait, what?"
I'm sorry, but that's a mixed message, or at least really crappy timing to share that story.
On the other hand, sometimes girls do seem to be playing with you. This gem from a couple years ago I feel is a good example, from a conversation on Valentine's Day, after our third time out.
Her: "I had a really good time tonight, thanks for asking me."
Me: "Oh, my pleasure. Do you want to get a cup of coffee or something?"
Her: "No, I'd better get home, it's getting late."
Me: "Fair enough. Want a good night kiss?"
Her: "Actually... I think we should just be friends. I'm not really interested in you like that."
Me: "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but I appreciate you making it clear."
Her: "By the way, I had a really good dream the other night. You were sitting in the front seat of your car and I was mounting you, bouncing up and down. It was *awesome*!"
Me: "Wait, what?"
I'm sorry, but that's a mixed message, or at least really crappy timing to share that story.
Her: "Actually... I think we should just be friends. I'm not really interested in you like that."
Me: "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but I appreciate you making it clear."
Her: "By the way, I had a really good dream the other night. You were sitting in the front seat of your car and I was mounting you, bouncing up and down. It was *awesome*!"
Me: Takes out PDA, muttering loudly to self "Note... to... self... check...potency...of...chloroform..."
Fight mixed signals with mixed signals.
Me: "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, but I appreciate you making it clear."
Her: "By the way, I had a really good dream the other night. You were sitting in the front seat of your car and I was mounting you, bouncing up and down. It was *awesome*!"
Me: Takes out PDA, muttering loudly to self "Note... to... self... check...potency...of...chloroform..."
Fight mixed signals with mixed signals.
I once had:
2 hours of conversation
Guy comes by doing her laundry
Me: "Was that your boyfriend?"
Her: "No, just a friend."
Guy comes back from laundry room
Him: "Hi, I'm ___'s boyfriend."
Leaves
Me: "So he is your boyfriend."
Her: "We're on a break."
Mixed enough that I didn't bother pursuing further.
2 hours of conversation
Guy comes by doing her laundry
Me: "Was that your boyfriend?"
Her: "No, just a friend."
Guy comes back from laundry room
Him: "Hi, I'm ___'s boyfriend."
Leaves
Me: "So he is your boyfriend."
Her: "We're on a break."
Mixed enough that I didn't bother pursuing further.
Long ago I knew this girl. She and I would flirt like mad, but various reasons always kept us from doing anything. Finally we met up one night and, after a great evening, I spent the night at her place. Obviously at this point I'm thinking that something good is starting to happen, right? The next night she calls me and tells me that she has not one, but two(!) other boyfriends and she doesn't think its going to work out between us. After finding that out I was happy to cut off contact.
M
makare
I think it was just crappy timing. Just because she dreamed something sexual about someone doesn't mean she feels something sexual about him. Dreamland is a fucked up place full of contrasting imagery and Freudian delusions. Never take any of it literally.
Well, context is an important modulator of meaning.
He's not saying the dream is the message, he's saying picking that opportunity to tell someone about the dream is easily perceived as a message, although given her previous statement it is really just a cruel/selfish message "I don't like but let me tease you since you're clearly into me by talking about us having sex..." Kiiinda rude.
fade
Staff member
Really, telling him about the dream that she had sex with him at all is kind of a signal.
Added at: 19:17
Also, on the rant side, I was just out biking, and I got stung in the throat by a bee I accidentally swallowed. The internet tells me I should go to the ER, but it's been a good hour and a half with no problems. In any case, it's highly uncomfortable.
Added at: 19:17
Also, on the rant side, I was just out biking, and I got stung in the throat by a bee I accidentally swallowed. The internet tells me I should go to the ER, but it's been a good hour and a half with no problems. In any case, it's highly uncomfortable.
Good fucking gods, fade. That really sucks.
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I take it you didn't like it?
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I take it you didn't like it?
Ouch, Fade! That sounds painful.
M
makare
No it wasn't a signal at all. She just had a weird dream and she thought it would be funny to share it with him. He took it as a mixed message because he wanted to read more into it than there was.
figmentPez
Staff member
We know it wasn't meant as a signal, but that's the way it's going to be taken. If you don't want a guy to get the wrong idea, don't talk about having sex with him, and certainly don't say it was awesome. There is no need to share about a dream like that if you're not interested. It may be weird, but keep the oddness to yourself if you've got no interest in the guy.
It was just a knife twist, so she was being a real
cunt
M
makare
I'll just write that down in my big book called "Guys.. wtf!?"
it's going to be a huge seller.
it's going to be a huge seller.
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