[Important] North_Ranger's Wacky Tumor Thread
- Thread starter North_Ranger
- Start date
North_Ranger
Staff member
Thanks, Zappers. Even thinking of making that into a comic or something 
Anyway, back at the hospital. I feel like a Borg or something 'cause they went and installed something called an infusion port into my chest. Apparently it's kinda like a shortcut into my bloodstream, thus making it easier to administer the medicine. It also creates a nice bulb on my chest, essentially being a piece of plastic implanted under my skin Feeling okay, only slightly peeved off on two accounts:
(1.) The regimen of medicines I'm on means I need to have a line into the new 'port 24/7, and since it's a fresh 'cut', the nurses don't really want me walking off, even though the pumping mechanism's battery would allow me to walk around for a few hours. Meaning, no cafeteria for yours truly. And the hospital food is crappy as hell. Damn, even school lunches were better.
(2.) Due to the regimen being 24/7 and having to check for things like pH levels in my urine (don't ask), I'm likely gonna end up being here until Friday. Which wouldn't be so crappy save for the fact that there was a once-a-year seminar that starts on Friday and I had been aching to go see it.
Oh well... cancer first, fun second, I guess.
A slightly pointless post now... Not much to report, really. Just hoping that, like the previous time, I won't get much of the nausea and other side effects associated with chemo. Next week, I'll perhaps visit the wig shop with a camera I've been told I'd look good as a redhead.
...or perhaps not.
Anyway, back at the hospital. I feel like a Borg or something 'cause they went and installed something called an infusion port into my chest. Apparently it's kinda like a shortcut into my bloodstream, thus making it easier to administer the medicine. It also creates a nice bulb on my chest, essentially being a piece of plastic implanted under my skin
Feeling okay, only slightly peeved off on two accounts:(1.) The regimen of medicines I'm on means I need to have a line into the new 'port 24/7, and since it's a fresh 'cut', the nurses don't really want me walking off, even though the pumping mechanism's battery would allow me to walk around for a few hours. Meaning, no cafeteria for yours truly. And the hospital food is crappy as hell. Damn, even school lunches were better.
(2.) Due to the regimen being 24/7 and having to check for things like pH levels in my urine (don't ask), I'm likely gonna end up being here until Friday. Which wouldn't be so crappy save for the fact that there was a once-a-year seminar that starts on Friday and I had been aching to go see it.
Oh well... cancer first, fun second, I guess.A slightly pointless post now... Not much to report, really. Just hoping that, like the previous time, I won't get much of the nausea and other side effects associated with chemo. Next week, I'll perhaps visit the wig shop with a camera
I've been told I'd look good as a redhead.
...or perhaps not.
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Biannoshufu
you totally would.
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Chibibar
I hate to sound cliche, but keep fighting it brother. Never give up! never surrender! Positive attitude helps in conjunction with medicine.
North_Ranger
Staff member
That message was made twice the more awesome by you quoting GalaxyQuest, Chibi ya ol' fascist Asian dude Thanks, you cheered me up. As did Biannoshufu. Rest assured, pictures of contemplated coiffures will be posted in due time.
Thanks, you cheered me up. As did Biannoshufu. Rest assured, pictures of contemplated coiffures will be posted in due time.
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Biannoshufu
I wont lie to you. the road is hell and full of zombies. Best bring the shotguns and the buddies who can back you in a fight.That message was made twice the more awesome by you quoting GalaxyQuest, Chibi ya ol' fascist Asian dude
North_Ranger
Staff member
Just to give you guys a better idea that a porta-cath looks like. It is a shallow cylinder with a rubber gasket on top. It has a line leading out of it that threads into a vein in your chest.
Actually it is titanium. I thought mine was plastic too. Mine is painted pink which makes it look like plastic.
Even though I am done with my chemo, I get to keep mine at least two years. I still need to get PET/CT scans four times a year. I do not have the quality veins in my arms to handle getting that many shots. I'd never make it as a junkie.
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Chibibar
What is that thing on your pelvis? looks like an alien.
Just to give you guys a better idea that a porta-cath looks like. It is a shallow cylinder with a rubber gasket on top. It has a line leading out of it that threads into a vein in your chest.
Actually it is titanium. I thought mine was plastic too. Mine is painted pink which makes it look like plastic.
Even though I am done with my chemo, I get to keep mine at least two years. I still need to get PET/CT scans four times a year. I do not have the quality veins in my arms to handle getting that many shots. I'd never make it as a junkie.
That is just representative of the porta-cath, I have now idea who's body that is.
Xeno spice worms invading one's body?!
Time to send in a kill team!
Time to send in a kill team!
North_Ranger
Staff member
Run, 'shaker, run!
Holy balls, that guy controls the spice!
N_R, forget the wigs! I found some great hats for you. Allow me to demonstrate.
This stylish number is a must for fancy tea parties or croquet matches with the queen.
For when you're feeling whimsical or just delusionally believe you are the star of a Little Rascals short.
Get the respect you deserve while in the hospital by donning this snappy number. Nurses and doctors will be grovelling at your feet and paying tribute to your mightiness in no time. Just make sure you share any tribute with your Halforum friends.
This classy piece of work combines all the benefits of a wig, a hat, and the appearance that something has died on your head. Be sure to carry a bottle of flea powder with you and a certificate from the vet that you don't have mange.
Pay tribute to your ancestors with the striking Viking helmet. Be proud to come from the land of ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs glow. Sadly, sword, shield and longboat are not included in this ensemble. Pillaging is optional.
Last, but not least, release your inner Cthulhu with this hat that tells the world that you just don't give a fuck today.
This stylish number is a must for fancy tea parties or croquet matches with the queen.
For when you're feeling whimsical or just delusionally believe you are the star of a Little Rascals short.
Get the respect you deserve while in the hospital by donning this snappy number. Nurses and doctors will be grovelling at your feet and paying tribute to your mightiness in no time. Just make sure you share any tribute with your Halforum friends.
This classy piece of work combines all the benefits of a wig, a hat, and the appearance that something has died on your head. Be sure to carry a bottle of flea powder with you and a certificate from the vet that you don't have mange.
Pay tribute to your ancestors with the striking Viking helmet. Be proud to come from the land of ice and snow, from the midnight sun where the hot springs glow. Sadly, sword, shield and longboat are not included in this ensemble. Pillaging is optional.
Last, but not least, release your inner Cthulhu with this hat that tells the world that you just don't give a fuck today.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Do they come in XXL sizes? 
North_Ranger
Staff member
Eeeuuuuggghhhhhhhhh...
No, I have not yet turned into a zombie. Got out of the hospital yesterday, after the second round of chemotherapy... and the first under the new treatment plan.
It wouldn't have been half so bad except for the fact that since they were now pumping more powerful stuff into my veins, they had to keep me constantly liquidated and watch how well my kidney could handle it. Which translated into me peeing into a bottle for four frickin' days and being constantly woken up by night by nurses wanting to check the pH levels of my urine or changing the IV bag.
I swear, I've never been so tired in my whole life. And the fact that the infusion port surgical scar is itching like hell and cannot be wet until Monday is not helping. But I'll live. The worst is, I believe, the complete fucking-up of my sleep rhythm, which has led to me being half-awake at times, and at times when I'm trying to sleep suffering from.... I dunno, visions? Like when you try to fall asleep and your mind starts playing that one song you heard at some point or repeats that one joke you heard at one point. That. Except more vicious, angry and long-lasting. Like visualizing that joke where a jealous young child comes to his momma about how people are always saying how the baby has such beautiful blue eyes - and now he has them, on a spoon. Yechhh...
What scares me the most, though, is just having to deal with people until I can get some rest and the side effects of the chemo wear out. I've found myself to be short-tempered, easily angered by even the smallest things, not having the patience for anything... not even when people complain about their own problems. A matter of perspective and viewpoint, I guess. I can't be fuckin' arsed to care about my niece's ingrown toenail when I'm pissing flakes of dried blood and trying not to lose my lunch. On the other hand, I know that this is a just a passing phase... and the more positive part of this is that I now tend to overlook things that would have driven me nuts with rage earlier. Including some people who take everything I say as "fat guy whining"
Hey, guess what? Nuts to you. Don't read my posts if that gets your knickers in such a knot.
Anyway, I think I'll hang around online for a while and then go watch Hell's Kitchen. With any luck that will help my apetite come back. Damn thing's been apathetic as hell due to not eating anything but hospital food for a while (though the 4-5 gallons of fluids they pumped into me certainly don't help, either).
See you around, guys.
No, I have not yet turned into a zombie. Got out of the hospital yesterday, after the second round of chemotherapy... and the first under the new treatment plan.
It wouldn't have been half so bad except for the fact that since they were now pumping more powerful stuff into my veins, they had to keep me constantly liquidated and watch how well my kidney could handle it. Which translated into me peeing into a bottle for four frickin' days and being constantly woken up by night by nurses wanting to check the pH levels of my urine or changing the IV bag.
I swear, I've never been so tired in my whole life. And the fact that the infusion port surgical scar is itching like hell and cannot be wet until Monday is not helping. But I'll live. The worst is, I believe, the complete fucking-up of my sleep rhythm, which has led to me being half-awake at times, and at times when I'm trying to sleep suffering from.... I dunno, visions? Like when you try to fall asleep and your mind starts playing that one song you heard at some point or repeats that one joke you heard at one point. That. Except more vicious, angry and long-lasting. Like visualizing that joke where a jealous young child comes to his momma about how people are always saying how the baby has such beautiful blue eyes - and now he has them, on a spoon. Yechhh...
What scares me the most, though, is just having to deal with people until I can get some rest and the side effects of the chemo wear out. I've found myself to be short-tempered, easily angered by even the smallest things, not having the patience for anything... not even when people complain about their own problems. A matter of perspective and viewpoint, I guess. I can't be fuckin' arsed to care about my niece's ingrown toenail when I'm pissing flakes of dried blood and trying not to lose my lunch. On the other hand, I know that this is a just a passing phase... and the more positive part of this is that I now tend to overlook things that would have driven me nuts with rage earlier. Including some people who take everything I say as "fat guy whining"
Hey, guess what? Nuts to you. Don't read my posts if that gets your knickers in such a knot.
Anyway, I think I'll hang around online for a while and then go watch Hell's Kitchen. With any luck that will help my apetite come back. Damn thing's been apathetic as hell due to not eating anything but hospital food for a while (though the 4-5 gallons of fluids they pumped into me certainly don't help, either).
See you around, guys.
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Biannoshufu
You're on chemo, you totally get a Rude Pass card, and anyone who doesn't understand that? Fuck em with a wire brush. Hang tough, watch funny uplifting movies.
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Chibibar
Dude, you got a titanium tube in your chest, you got probably more chemical in your body than a drug addict, people waking you up in the middle of the night to test you and you have to pee constantly. Yea, you definitely can be irritable. People who really knows you should see all that. I am sure they will not hold it against you. If they do, see how they like it having to go through chemo. Just hang tough buddy. Probably should get some netflix and watch some movies
North_Ranger
Staff member
Feeling much better today. Smiling at the comments here and slowly getting my apetite back. Still gonna go with just strawberry rahka and maybe a sandwich tonight... don't feel yet like cooking. That will be for tomorrow. Chicken and rice, yummy.
The infusion port is apparently not metal in my case, but plastic. I asked that a while back. But while it does lessen my cyborginess, at least I don't get metal detectors to whine And yes, I did worry about that because me and my folks have agreed that once the worst is over, we'll go on a holiday that I've always wanted to but never gotten around to it, due to it being so far away and expensive. That is, going to New York. Still in the distant future (due to the treatments continuing until summer, at least - and me not being able to travel much between treatments), but we're gonna go there.
The infusion port is apparently not metal in my case, but plastic. I asked that a while back. But while it does lessen my cyborginess, at least I don't get metal detectors to whine
And yes, I did worry about that because me and my folks have agreed that once the worst is over, we'll go on a holiday that I've always wanted to but never gotten around to it, due to it being so far away and expensive. That is, going to New York. Still in the distant future (due to the treatments continuing until summer, at least - and me not being able to travel much between treatments), but we're gonna go there.
North_Ranger
Staff member
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...
Gah, parents. You know they mean the best, you know they just want to help you, but goddammit if you can't get them to fuckin' understand when you are feeling well enough to be by yourself, well enough that they don't fuckin' have to constantly ask if everything's okay.
Moms are naturally prime offenders. Gaaahhhh... I guess I should be glad I'm single, otherwise I would have an overprotective mom and an overprotective girlfriend hovering over me constantly. Mostly it's a matter of my diet. I'm trying to lose weight in preparation for the surgery, but my weight loss flatlined during the chemo. I know she means well, trying to help, but goddammit, I'm trying as much as I can. And I'm tired of having the same fuckin' "discussion" every time I call her.
Gonna go and watch some mindless comedy and then go to bed.
Fuck.
Gah, parents. You know they mean the best, you know they just want to help you, but goddammit if you can't get them to fuckin' understand when you are feeling well enough to be by yourself, well enough that they don't fuckin' have to constantly ask if everything's okay.
Moms are naturally prime offenders. Gaaahhhh... I guess I should be glad I'm single, otherwise I would have an overprotective mom and an overprotective girlfriend hovering over me constantly. Mostly it's a matter of my diet. I'm trying to lose weight in preparation for the surgery, but my weight loss flatlined during the chemo. I know she means well, trying to help, but goddammit, I'm trying as much as I can. And I'm tired of having the same fuckin' "discussion" every time I call her.
Gonna go and watch some mindless comedy and then go to bed.
Fuck.
doomdragon6
Staff member
At least you have somebody to support you. It's way worse not having anyone.
*Edit: Accidentally implied that I have no-one. Not implying that.
*Edit: Accidentally implied that I have no-one. Not implying that.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Yeah, I know... It's just a little jarring sometimes, having to tell my mom that she has to cut me some slack. I'm not complaining that she and dad want to help me - God, I welcome it! - it's just that sometimes their support is more akin to a straitjacket than crutches, if you know what I mean.
Had to visit the hospital today, peeing blood again. Not worried, though. It could be a small infection like last time, or it's the medicine doing a number on the tumor. Feeling pretty good, to be honest. The only thing that pissed me off about it was that I was planning to go and see Johnny English today. But now I gotta wait for a call about the test results instead.
Oh well, it'll be on tomorrow.
Also, the bandages from the infusion port came off. And if you'll pardon the expression, the scar looks like I have a circumcised vagina on my chest
Had to visit the hospital today, peeing blood again. Not worried, though. It could be a small infection like last time, or it's the medicine doing a number on the tumor. Feeling pretty good, to be honest. The only thing that pissed me off about it was that I was planning to go and see Johnny English today. But now I gotta wait for a call about the test results instead.
Oh well, it'll be on tomorrow.
Also, the bandages from the infusion port came off. And if you'll pardon the expression, the scar looks like I have a circumcised vagina on my chest
This is why I just wanted to ignore you.
You ever hear of the concept of too much information? You can say you went to the hospital for some tests due to issues. Do you really need to get into detail about pissing blood? This is why you make me rage all the friggin time. In general, no one cares or wants to hear about the gory details. You're like that fucking annoying co-worker who constantly talks in your ear about every mundane detail about their life. Trust me no one cares. People feel bad you have cancer. I do too, but get a blog if you want to piss in the wind.
No please, next time I want to hear every gory detail about your follow-up colonoscopy including pictures of the inside of your anus.
You ever hear of the concept of too much information? You can say you went to the hospital for some tests due to issues. Do you really need to get into detail about pissing blood? This is why you make me rage all the friggin time. In general, no one cares or wants to hear about the gory details. You're like that fucking annoying co-worker who constantly talks in your ear about every mundane detail about their life. Trust me no one cares. People feel bad you have cancer. I do too, but get a blog if you want to piss in the wind.
No please, next time I want to hear every gory detail about your follow-up colonoscopy including pictures of the inside of your anus.
I... don't care he's sharing "too much information" myself. But, of course, sharing too much info is kind of one of my things.
Calm the fuck down. The thread title alone suggests this is going to be a bit graphic. He wants a place to vent, he can do that here. So it's time to revert to the "Don't like, don't click response."
Now stop making me be serious and move on.
I would find that to be interesting info, even if my testicles try to run in fear just from reading about a vasectomy.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Mathias... May I direct you to the original post:
I know perfectly well I sometimes tell things I shouldn't in retrospect, but I am not telling anything here I wouldn't talk about with people I trust, with people I want to keep posted on what's going. Heck, I admit freely that I sometimes take advice from you fellows because this is hardly the situation I wanted to find myself in. Plus, I find it conducive to my continued well-being that I have this place to vent or to see funny messages from time to time. I've always believed in the curative properties of a good laugh.
I'm not forcing you to click and read this thread. That's your choice, not mine. If you want to continue this conversation, talk to me in PM or open a ticket if you find something here that is against the forum rules. If people start telling me "Dude, TMI", okay, I will tone down my notes. Some of which, I admit, have been made in either a heavily drugged or cheesed-off state of mind.
If it is helpful to continue to read this thread, consider every post to be read tongue firmly in the cheek, or if you prefer, in the deadpan snark that is Rowan Atkinson playing Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder Goes Forth, to be specific). I'm not trying to write some kind of Anne Frank's Diary here, just keep a thread for myself and the people who, for some reason or another, are interested in what's going down in my end of the line. If that bothers you, don't read. I'm not holding a gun to your head.
And no, I won't be telling any of you what I've been pissing lately Just gonna say, feeling better, both mentally and physically, and hoping nothing else pops up before the next round of chemo. Toupé shots may be forthcoming, pending on how I'm out and about.
*Disclaimer: the poster has no knowledge of the colour of Mathias's ass, nor will he appreciate any such information. This notion is made in humorous fashion only, and should not be taken to mean that the poster has seen Mathias's ass** or will do so in any point in the future.
**Which he hasn't and doesn't want to, either.
Am I being graphic? Yes I am. Am I using this thread to vent out my frustrations, fears and the odd good news I have at being a cancer patient before I turn thirty? You can bet your lily-white ass* I am.
I know perfectly well I sometimes tell things I shouldn't in retrospect, but I am not telling anything here I wouldn't talk about with people I trust, with people I want to keep posted on what's going. Heck, I admit freely that I sometimes take advice from you fellows because this is hardly the situation I wanted to find myself in. Plus, I find it conducive to my continued well-being that I have this place to vent or to see funny messages from time to time. I've always believed in the curative properties of a good laugh.
I'm not forcing you to click and read this thread. That's your choice, not mine. If you want to continue this conversation, talk to me in PM or open a ticket if you find something here that is against the forum rules. If people start telling me "Dude, TMI", okay, I will tone down my notes. Some of which, I admit, have been made in either a heavily drugged or cheesed-off state of mind.
If it is helpful to continue to read this thread, consider every post to be read tongue firmly in the cheek, or if you prefer, in the deadpan snark that is Rowan Atkinson playing Edmund Blackadder (Blackadder Goes Forth, to be specific). I'm not trying to write some kind of Anne Frank's Diary here, just keep a thread for myself and the people who, for some reason or another, are interested in what's going down in my end of the line. If that bothers you, don't read. I'm not holding a gun to your head.
And no, I won't be telling any of you what I've been pissing lately
Just gonna say, feeling better, both mentally and physically, and hoping nothing else pops up before the next round of chemo. Toupé shots may be forthcoming, pending on how I'm out and about.*Disclaimer: the poster has no knowledge of the colour of Mathias's ass, nor will he appreciate any such information. This notion is made in humorous fashion only, and should not be taken to mean that the poster has seen Mathias's ass** or will do so in any point in the future.
**Which he hasn't and doesn't want to, either.
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Biannoshufu
you know what? Ignore the naysayers (whether literally or figuratively) and just keep posting what you feel you need to post, regardless of how graphic that might be. Let this be your little space to say what you want to, what you need to, to focus on staying positive and recovering. This is important especially if you have no other place to vent comfortably.
Rock on, red head.
Rock on, red head.
North_Ranger
Staff member
Yes, you did. Several times, actually.
May I ask is it firm, or is it consistency more like that of boiled baby food?
May I ask is it firm, or is it consistency more like that of boiled baby food?
Personally, I think it's great that you're being so open about all these details. It gives us all a personal inside into something that we may someday have to experience ourselves (or someone we know and love). I say keep up with it.
Chaz, you don't like it? Don't read the thread.
(I know, I know. You don't want to be referred to as Chaz anymore. It's moments like these, though, that it's necessary.)
Chaz, you don't like it? Don't read the thread.
(I know, I know. You don't want to be referred to as Chaz anymore. It's moments like these, though, that it's necessary.)
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Chibibar
NR: Do what you want on this thread we are here to support you (even some naysayers heh) I can totally relate with Parents' help, I am almost 40 and my parents still treats me like I'm 12 and can't run my own life.
They mean well, but it can be jarring. I say take what you can get and work on getting better.
we are here to support you (even some naysayers heh) I can totally relate with Parents' help, I am almost 40 and my parents still treats me like I'm 12 and can't run my own life.They mean well, but it can be jarring. I say take what you can get and work on getting better.