Tales from Skyrim

[Shegokigo]

Yep, it's also why I switched to watching Jesse from OMFGaming instead of X. I got so tired of getting "excited" when he'd start a new series, just to have him dump it a few videos later.

"Jesse Plays" finishs entire games. Finished watching his "Get Drunk With The Duke" Jesse plays of Duke Nukem Forever, where Jesse was drinking throughout the entire process. (Finished it one sitting). Other greats were his playthroughs of Fear3 with a female CoOp partner and currently watching him play Amnesia (with the 3 girls commenting/assisting) and Crysis 2.

 

[Dave]

SO what's the best recording software out there? Bearing in mind that I can't afford to "buy" FRAPS.

 

[GasBandit]

SO what's the best recording software out there? Bearing in mind that I can't afford to "buy" FRAPS.

Pirated fraps.

In all seriousness though, I'd like to know if there is an alternative too - because I found lately that trying to fraps minecraft with sound kills my framerate DEAD.

 

[AshburnerX]

Does ANYONE buy FRAPS that hasn't already turned their recording hobby into a profitable business? 90% of the people who have it are using pirated copies.

 

[Dave]

I got it, but holy hell do the files take up space! I recorded a couple really short ones to test and they were 2+ GB each!

 

[AshburnerX]

Yeah, that's going to happen. You need a MONSTER size drive to have big videos.

 

[Bowielee]

IIR, there's a way that you can convert the files to lower bit compression, no?

 

[Shegokigo]

Scaling the side of the cliff, instead of taking the main road into town would help me to avoid being discovered just yet. I needed to find a secluded home off to edges of town to situate myself into so that I could gather a lay of the village. It didn't take long.

It was perfect. Just near enough to town that I could go back and forth with little effort and yet across the river where the sound of the rushing water near the Mill would drown out any sounds or smells. I made my way round the back of the home when I was greeted by a babbling idiot.

Normally I find most folk repugnant and barely pay enough attention to their mouths flapping to care what they were saying, but this local yokel was spouting babble as if it were an audition for some Cyordillic play.

Going on and on about some relative of his that had gone missing, was the most I could make of it before I started walking toward the front of the home.... quickly barring my way I realized that he was going to be a problem... this was soon to be his ex-shanty...

I was right about the sounds of the water, a quick glance over the corner of the small shack was enough to see that what passed for a "guard" in this town was no less aware of my activities as someone 100 miles away would have been.

Unpacking my reagents and the remains of the babbling fool into some half completed shelving and chests, I made myself comfortable for the evening. Tomorrow will be interesting...

 

[FnordBear]

Today in Skyrim: A servant in the castle annoyed me so I shot her in the head with an arrow then dragged her corpse in front of the king and then stood on top of it while we discussed my slaying of a dragon. I was then rightly made a thane of the village. LIKE. A. BOSS.

My character, the mighty wizard Fnord Bearson.

 

[Espy]

Dear Diary: Today I found a rabbit. Running underwater. It got stuck inside a sunken ship. Will I ever find love?

 

[Shegokigo]

Warmth... covering my entire body. A liquid pouring and drenching me, every inch of my skin covered. I lay there, covered and washed in blood. Every fiber of my being was enthralled, feeling what can only be described as ecstasy. Nothing could break the near womb like state I was feeling till..... IT landed with a world crashing thud in front of me. Every scale glistened, it's eyes older than any creature on this world, glaring balefully at me I could do nothing but stand there, all feelings of wonder now gone. Paralyzed whole I could not raise a hand to destroy the creature as it looked me over. It opened it's mouth and I readied for the breath that would end my life woefully early.... "POWER" the verbal uttering of the beast sent my entire surroundings flying into the atmosphere, yet I stood, unmoved, unharmed by it.....

My eyes shot open from the bear skins I slept on. Dragons.... I had seen one before and now they invaded my sleeping thoughts... perhaps there's more to my being here than I first believed. Raising myself up and preparing a few spells, I exited the cabin and was greeted by nearly blinding sunlight....

Pulling my hood closer over my eyes I looked toward the mill and the town before me. I needed information above all else...

Immediately the folk of the town took notice of me, whispering amongst each other. "A breton? Here?" "She's so sickly.... such pale skin!"... Even the guards would tap their swords as they passed me by, giving me a glare, tempting me to do the slightest error so that they could end my disturbance... The Stormcloak I had escaped with had told me to find the blonde woman whom ran the Mill, so making my way there I queried her as to why I would have been sent here.

Speaking on so many political issues, it was clear this land was troubled by civil war and inner fighting. Fools, they'd all be wiped out by the dragons within months... I moved on to the Inn, surely there would be information I'd find MUCH more interesting and helpful there.

 

[Shegokigo]

Opening the heavy wooden door to the INN I was instantly reminded why I had chosen seclusion to city life so many years ago. The stench was foul, the sounds worse.... Ales and food, body odors that couldn't be identified by the best alchemists, a horrid screeching noise emenating from the corner where a man attempted to play what he thought was music... I wouldn't tolerate this long. Seating myself at the table nearest to the bar, it wasn't long till I overheard exactly what I was looking for. A priceless magical item had been stolen from the local Goods Store. A "Golden Dragon's Claw". Perhaps this had some ties to the dreams I was having an the re-emergence of the Dragons. Throwing a gold to the tavern keep, I made my way back to the shanty I had relieved from the previous owner. Taking the reagents I would need for the trip I headed up into the mountains in the direction I was told the bandits had gone

It's kind of hard to miss a structure that large, even in this snowfall....

Quickly dispatching the guard's outside the main entrance I made a quick mental note: They're clearly insane, in this weather, they wear next to nothing? A few animal skins and nearly nothingelse. It's less satisfying maiming the mentally challenged but enjoyable none the less.

The large gates in front of me reassured me that this was definitely the structure I was looking for.... two large dragons, meeting in the middle. If I was going to find out what was causing my beautiful dreams to be interrupted, this was the going to be the first place I needed to scour.

 

[Hailey Knight]

No pics since I'm on PS3, so I'll keep words brief.

I was sneaking down toward a tower where I heard a bounty was being offered to kill a dragon there. I figured, since I'm about killing them anyway, I may as well get paid for it. That's the Redguard stereotype and I'll play it if it gets me what I want from the Skyrim people.

Before reaching the tower though, there was a big wall, and being impulsive, I decided to see what was in this wall--stormcloaks? Imperials? Bandits? No, they were unnecessarily aggressive mages! Their fingers shot lightning every which way, and since I hadn't yet learned how to move quickly while aiming an arrow at their heads, I decided it was a good time to run.

Only, it was the middle of the night and I couldn't see very well. I scuttled down a slope, sparks still crackling at my heels, when I ran past a cave. Out comes a big, angry cave bear. Does he chase the guy who's light is upsetting his beauty sleep? Nope, he chases innocent little me. So, I keep running, dashing on and off to keep from running out of breath. I start dodging through trees in hope of losing my pursuers, only to gain more when I run across a large frostbite spider. I head west then, with mage, bear, and spider all coming after me. I see a campfire, hoping to find help--now it's bandits! Would've been nice to fight you guys earlier.

I turn south again, find myself running down another slope of trees. Green light flashes in front of me and a hagraven rushes into my face. I'm pretty sure I'm done for here, but I keep running, now along a stream, and it's at this point that my many pursuers finally realize they don't like each other much more than they like me. They begin fighting, and only the bandits are still on me. I find myself at the tower, not in great shape--that's when the dragon I'd heard of comes barreling out of the sky, turning the bandits to ashes.

Never thought I'd be so happy to see a dragon ... but I didn't feel sorry that I had to kill him once I got my shit together.

 

[drifter]

In all seriousness though, I'd like to know if there is an alternative too - because I found lately that trying to fraps minecraft with sound kills my framerate DEAD.

I've used a couple free video recording programs. The last one, which I rather liked, is called simply "Free Screen To Video." Sounds kinda shady, but it gets good quality without putting a huge strain on system resources. Also liked BB Flashback, although I think that's a 30-day trial. I tried Hypercam, but the quality I got was pretty shitty compared to the other programs.

IIR, there's a way that you can convert the files to lower bit compression, no?

I use Super. Works pretty well, although if you're uploading to YouTube it can be a pain depending on the file type you choose. Saving it as an mp4 with h.264, AAC worked for me.

 

[Shegokigo]

Cracking the door just enough to get inside without alerting anyone within to my presence I made my way in. It was easy enough to see that these bandits were doing nothing to hide their presence as the light from the fire was obvious from the first few steps. Luckily there were pillars blocking their view of me and pressing myself up against it I could hear them conversing:

"Arvel took the Claw down there almost three hours ago, either he's dead or he's run off with the treasure"
"Bah, he's neither smart enough to find the treasure or stupid enough to try and backstab us, he's probably lost"

So they're expendable... excellent. Setting my hands aflame I roll around the pillar and completely incinerate the first bandit. The second one charged me with his blade, quickly throwing up my ward it shatters his pathetic iron weapon against my defence. Quickly lifting up a sliver of the weapon I plunged it into his lung, through the rib cage as he's stunned. Gasping for air I drag him to the nearest stone table and quickly interrogate him. He puts up little resistance and within seconds I confirm where the Claw has gone. He was of little use after that....

I move over to the fire and scour their resources. A few potions and herbs here and there. Warming myself by the fire for just a moment.

Walking silently through the hallway ahead, I come upon a large room and another one of the bandits, who obviously was oblivious to what had happened a few rooms prior. Quietly I watched as he approached the lever in the middle of the room.

Within seconds the room's trap trigger and he was filled full of arrows within the blink of an eye.

The fact that the room was booby trapped was enough proof alone that this trip was going to be even more lucrative than I had previously imagined....

 

[Krisken]

While coming to the end of the Bleak Falls Barrow I spent 6 attempts trying to destroy the Guardian of the Dragonstone. On the 7th attempt my character is being thwolloped and one hit away from death. On a whim I decide to use the Fireball scroll I found in the tomb. KwadOOOM! Apparently I blew the guy all the way across the hall and over into the waterfall, cause I never did find the corpse. On a reload I killed him with 4 arrows. Go figure.

 

[Hailey Knight]

I can't even remember the guardian. There's been so much game since then.

My wife just found some place north of Whiterun that had three words on it. Then some flying lich ghost thing came out of the stone itself and started summoning ice elementals all over the place. My only thought was "what the hell is that?" Maybe I fought one before? No idea. I remember mammoths and dragons.

 

[AshburnerX]

Ahh... that would be Krosis. His mask is very nice.

 

[Frank]

Krosis never summoned anything for me, only raining bullseye fireballs of nearly instant death.

JESUS FUCK he was hard to kill with mage, my archer, he never even saw before he was a pin cushion.

 

[Dirona]

So, I'm wandering back to Whiterun after another sucessful round of running bandits out of their hovels and I see four rough looking individuals headed my way. Before I get a chance to hail them to politely ask after their purpose, they lay into me and my companion - the nerve! Why would there be hired thgs after me? I have no active bounties on my head (if only because I have yet to be caught.) A minor scirmish ensues and we dispatch the goons and their ring leader with relative ease. In rumaging about their corpses I find a contract - with my name on it! It appears that that damnable stuck-up mage in Whiterun believes that I have creatively acquired some of his belongings. How dare he! I have the Jarl's blessing in that town, and he has no proof that it was me that cleared out his entire living quarters of valuables. Never mind that his assumption is correct. After I am finished with this town, me thinks that mage will need to be taught a lesson.

 

[Hailey Knight]

Madness!

I go off to slay a giant for the Jarl of Windhelm's bounty, and as I'm leaving the mill across the river from the giant's camp, a dragon swoops overhead. I shoot an arrow into it and then run through the giant's camp. Lucky me, the giants and the dragon start fighting. I figure this will be an easy fight. Then the dragon flies off to the east. I decide to chase after it and drop a couple more arrows in to lure it back for the giants to finish off. Little did I know, the giants were chasing me.

But I knew something else even less. I see the dragon swoop behind a hill, run after it. When I reach the hill, he's waaaaay in the distance, and coming back my way. I think "Wow, he sure flew far." Then this dragon spits fire at me. I realize he was spitting ice a moment earlier--that's when BOTH DRAGONS glide into view, roar past me, and start tearing the shit out of the giants. Then they start flying off toward a hunter's camp, and I find myself chasing two dragons over rocks and water. Every now and then, they come breathing down on me, and then once the hunters are dead, I have two dragons coming after me at once.

I got one grounded, but the fire-breather was still doing circles around us while the ice one chased me on land. Both then landed and chased me and I managed to kill the ice one. The fire one flew up a cliff, and then barreled back down on me. I managed to get another arrow in his throat... and unfortunately, we both died at once.

I didn't even realize you could encounter two dragons at once.

 

[ScytheRexx]

Madness!

The same almost occured to me.

I had taken up a bounty to kill a dragon for the people of Markath. Travelling to his hideout, I was sneaking up on him, pulling out my bow. As my first arrow screamed at his scaly hide, I heard another roar and a second dragon came swooping overhead. I dive and duck as the first dragon comes for revenge, and with a few well placed 2h strikes and a potion or two, I took him down. I look up as the roaring continues, and see the second dragon still flying overhead. He looks down at me, and then suddenly moved on over the mountain rocks. He never returned, the sight of my Nord feasting on his friends soul put fear in his black heart.

 

[Hailey Knight]

This story is not of me playing, but of hearing my wife playing across the apartment. There's a slowly building tune in Skyrim, with chanting and string, that greatly resembles the early part of the track "Gift of Fury", and I guessed there was trouble.

Me: "I hear that!"
Wife: "Rrrmmm, eeg."
Me: "What is it?"
Wife: "Too Many Bandits At ONCE!"

 

[Dirona]

Not my tale, but an amusing one none the less.

 

[GasBandit]

Not my tale, but an amusing one none the less.

LOL! I could have written that! If I actually could accept any of the times Lydia died and hadn't loaded my last save game.

But if he truly, truly wanted Lydia back, he could have had her. Through magic too awful and dark to contemplate. Forget all this corpse reanimation and souls trapped in gems and whatnot... There is a dark, dangerous magic that actually has the potential to destroy Skyrim if you are careless - it's called "the Console." If you hit tilde (~), the console appears before you. Click on Lydia, and her true name will be revealed to you in an arcane tongue incomprehensible to the minds of mere mortals (000A2C94, incidentally). Upon seeing this, you need only speak the word "resurrect" and suddenly Lydia will not only be alive, but have no memory of ever having been dead at all... THAT is powerful and frightening magic, right there. The kind wise adventurers limit harshly, lest there be other worldly ramifications.

Incidentally, it's this same magic that, if you are clever enough, also allows you around the bug that makes Lydia unmarriageable.

 

[Krisken]

So I accept the embassy quest from Delphine and travel to the city to give up my weapons to retrieve when I get to the party. Everything else goes to Delphine, of course. In my lack of wisdom, I gave both my bows and all my arrows to the contact before hand. Just as I'm ready to get on the cart and head to the party, Delphine shouts "Look out!" and I see a shadow and hear a screech. Sure enough, I have no weapons and a fracking dragon shows up. Thus, I hide in a hut until the dragon decides to fly up to the city from the stables and proceed to toast the townsfolk.

 

[Ozzi the Nightingale]

My story begins with one word... 'Lass'.
I don't know what it was about his voice that captured my interest but, pretty soon I found myself sneaking through most of Skyrim on various assignments on his command. Perhaps, in my naivety, I believed that if I only worked hard enough and proved to him that my skills reached far beyond mere pick-pocketing, he'd notice me. And so, I worked harder than I'd ever worked in my life, "fishing", "sweeping" and stripping nobles bare of their precious goods, even as they walked down the street in broad day-light. All for him, just to hear him praise me..

I should have listened to Vex from the start!
She did warn me after all..
All they really care about in the thieves guild, is the amount of coin you manage to bring home to the guild coffers.

All he ever tells me now is how frightfully busy he is...
We haven't had a decent conversation in days, or even discussed the future of the guild.
It's like we never even risked our lives together in order to bring that scumbag M..
(the rest of the paragraph is scratched out)

You are indeed a thief Brynjolf...
However much I hate to admit it, you managed to steal my heart.
Just make sure you keep it safer than I did, or I will seek our the Brotherhood in order to retrieve it.

~ O.N.

 

[Hailey Knight]

I was cooking at a dead necromancer's camp, just peacefully roasting a goat's leg and ladling some apple cabbage stew. Then the ground shakes and I see in the blurry background a lot of scales and spines. My cooking was interrupted by a frost dragon's icy breath. What a douche.

Also, this is me, level 30.

 

[Krisken]

Those townsfolk apparently had no trouble killing that dragon. It was awful nice to reap the rewards of a dragon soul without having to spend 30+ arrows shooting at it.

 

[Hailey Knight]

I think my wife just has more amusing Skyrim adventures than me, at least in my eyes.

She's walking along to go complete a quest, and Lydia behind her who never says a word without being spoken to, all of a sudden says "Hey, there's a cave. Wonder what's inside." If it were me, I'd tell Lydia to go on wondering, but my wife decides to indulge her companion and heads on in.

Shortly after, they're attacked by vampires. This wouldn't be too terrible. Right now, my wife is trying to sneak around, blast the bastards, and pilfer their wine. Just one problem. The cave is silent. She's going along slowly, creep, creep, sneak.

Then all of a sudden: "Ahem." Lydia clears her throat and it echoes through the cave. My wife yells at her to stop and then proceeds. Creep, creep, sneak.
"HrrmRRRRm. Cough."
"Lydia, shut the fuck up! We're trying to be sneaky!"
"Ahrrrmk."
"Do you have asthma?"
"Kekhah!"
"Are you fucking dying or something?"

 

[Dave]

Lydia and I were going after this or that artifact. We had to go into a Dwarven Stronghold. We get all the way there and I am just ready to open the front door when Lydia says, "Hey look! There's a Dwarven Stronghold!"

Not the brightest crayon in the box, this Lydia. But she makes a good damage sponge in her Dragon Armor that I made for her.

 

[Krisken]

Lydia has been invaluable for me. Tonight we were traversing through the plains and saw those same giants which gave me the wholliping previously. Now, I've done some training and figured this might be my chance to see if I could take one of the big suckers down.

Firing arrows from a distance, she and I were able to knock over half his health away before he reached us. She valiantly put away her bow and drew her sword. Before she could even swing, she was launched so far into the air she could earn her pilot's license. This bought me enough time to pin cushion the rest of the giant's health away. After he died, I witnessed her fall to the fields. A minute later, brushing herself off, she ran up to me like nothing had happened.

 

[GasBandit]

Lydia's been left to guard my house ever since I picked up Illia. She's this caster woman (who has the same voice actress, and most of the same voice ASSETS as Lydia, right down to the yawning and such) who I helped, never mind how. Afterwards she seemed kind of bummed so I suggested she go with me. I'm still not entirely clear on why this necessitates Lydia going home, and it puts a major kink in my plans to have a Khadafi-esque all-female bodyguard squad... but whatever. She's handy to have around. She likes to chuck those big pointy ice doohickeys that seem to sting other people an awful lot.

Problem is, damn girl can't keep her clothes on.

Because I like to keep my henchlings geared up, I blew a few thousand gold on a master robe of whateverthehell, it had the biggest numbers on it I could find, and I also enchanted up a majicka hat for her. For some reason, more than half the time, she decides to wear the hat and NOTHING ELSE. I'll turn around and bam, underwear and hat. Woman, I bought you that damn robe, it's snowing and the wind is 40mph easy, WHY aren't you WEARING it? To try and call her attention to this fact, I used to try taking away her hat and giving it back, to make her re-evaluate her entire wardrobe at once, but it doesn't work... I take away the hat, she puts her old clothes back on (the ones she was wearing when I met her)... and the badass robe goes unworn. I give her the hat again, and shazam, homespun bikini. Whatever. Then a few minutes later I'll turn around and see her wearing the good robe with the hat.

And then 10 minutes later she'll be nekkid again.

 

[ScytheRexx]

Lydia and I were going after this or that artifact. We had to go into a Dwarven Stronghold. We get all the way there and I am just ready to open the front door when Lydia says, "Hey look! There's a Dwarven Stronghold!"

*After spending the last five consecutive days traveling through huge Nordic Tombs, Dwarven Ruins, Mystic Caves, and the Afterlife itself. Enter some larger room in a random generic fort*

Aela: Wow look... you don't see that everyday.

 

[Dave]

I like it when Lydia says, "Hey look! A CAVE!" when we're coming OUT of it.