Rant VII: Now With 25% Less Drama
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doomdragon6
Staff member
Just ranting, I assume that's what this thread still is.
Dear girlfriend: You are the most unappreciative person ever. No matter how much I do for you, it isn't enough. You don't have any flaws, only I have flaws! You are constantly negative about fucking everything and you honestly make everything a drag. Hanging out with you is a chore now. Anytime I am enjoying myself you have to stop me in some way.
You tell me I'm not this enough, or not that enough, but maybe if you showed some inkling of appreciation when I do things for you, I'd actually make an effort to be those things. Even when I do try to do those things, you just reject me, being completely hypocritical, so fuck you.
Oh, what's this? I've thrown you a little birthday thing, with lots of cute decorations that I know you love? You show next to no excitement over Birthday Stuff I set up for you? When you did absolutely nothing for my birthday? No presents, no cake, not even a cookie cake because you were too lazy to go get one? Screw you.
The last two years I made a cake from scratch. The first one wasn't great because I forgot shortening. The second one was okay, she even said it was good. Either way she appreciated that I'd tried to make it from scratch, instead of using cake mix. (Fuck cake mix.) This year I just said fuck it and used cake mix.
Her: "Oh... You tried to make a cake again?"
Me: ".... How is it."
Her: "It's okay.."
Her: "You wrap presents so badly..."
Also, I got a hair cut. She absolutely hates it (I just chopped my no-haircut-in-three-months hair off) and is actually frowning at me and telling me how awful it looks constantly, and she says it's actually so bad that it's made her birthday worse. Fuck you you dumb cunt. It's my hair.
You think I'm not good enough for you, but you can't even come close to deserving me anymore. If I'd done this birthday thing a year ago, you'd call me the best boyfriend ever. Now you manage a half-hearted yay and go back to texting.
I can take the things you say to me because I have a fairly thick skin and I've resigned myself to you being an ungrateful bitch without you even realizing it. If I said to you the things that you say to me you would start crying immediately, even if you didn't cry at the drop of a hat all the time.
I'm almost glad you're leaving the country in a few months. That at least gives an end point to our relationship. I hate saying that, but you clearly don't love me as much as you used to, or you wouldn't treat me like this.
I love you, but god, fucking, damn.
Dear girlfriend: You are the most unappreciative person ever. No matter how much I do for you, it isn't enough. You don't have any flaws, only I have flaws! You are constantly negative about fucking everything and you honestly make everything a drag. Hanging out with you is a chore now. Anytime I am enjoying myself you have to stop me in some way.
You tell me I'm not this enough, or not that enough, but maybe if you showed some inkling of appreciation when I do things for you, I'd actually make an effort to be those things. Even when I do try to do those things, you just reject me, being completely hypocritical, so fuck you.
Oh, what's this? I've thrown you a little birthday thing, with lots of cute decorations that I know you love? You show next to no excitement over Birthday Stuff I set up for you? When you did absolutely nothing for my birthday? No presents, no cake, not even a cookie cake because you were too lazy to go get one? Screw you.
The last two years I made a cake from scratch. The first one wasn't great because I forgot shortening. The second one was okay, she even said it was good. Either way she appreciated that I'd tried to make it from scratch, instead of using cake mix. (Fuck cake mix.) This year I just said fuck it and used cake mix.
Her: "Oh... You tried to make a cake again?"
Me: ".... How is it."
Her: "It's okay.."
Her: "You wrap presents so badly..."
Also, I got a hair cut. She absolutely hates it (I just chopped my no-haircut-in-three-months hair off) and is actually frowning at me and telling me how awful it looks constantly, and she says it's actually so bad that it's made her birthday worse. Fuck you you dumb cunt. It's my hair.
You think I'm not good enough for you, but you can't even come close to deserving me anymore. If I'd done this birthday thing a year ago, you'd call me the best boyfriend ever. Now you manage a half-hearted yay and go back to texting.
I can take the things you say to me because I have a fairly thick skin and I've resigned myself to you being an ungrateful bitch without you even realizing it. If I said to you the things that you say to me you would start crying immediately, even if you didn't cry at the drop of a hat all the time.
I'm almost glad you're leaving the country in a few months. That at least gives an end point to our relationship. I hate saying that, but you clearly don't love me as much as you used to, or you wouldn't treat me like this.
I love you, but god, fucking, damn.
As Tress stated. Dude, that's not a relationship, that's a sham. I understand that you're ranting, but these all seem indicative of deeper relationship issues. You know, the kind that I end up getting called to after one side can't take it any more.
Take a minute, make a deep, completely honest self-assessment, and ask yourself if you deserve to deal with all of this, or do you deserve to be treated like a person.
Snide comments like "Oh, so you _tried_ to make a cake again?" Yeah... not on.
Take a minute, make a deep, completely honest self-assessment, and ask yourself if you deserve to deal with all of this, or do you deserve to be treated like a person.
Snide comments like "Oh, so you _tried_ to make a cake again?" Yeah... not on.
doomdragon6
Staff member
I'm sure she could have her own rant, two sides, etc. This is all just a very negative rant. Like I said, it's got an end point, so whatever. If it ever went back to how it used to be it might be fine, but beh.
'ppreciate all the responses though.
'ppreciate all the responses though.
Of course! Oh, one more thing: get therapy, man up, etc.
Sorry, we're required to say that around here apparently.
Yeah, my bad... nut up or shut up.
How does everything let her fuck it if she's going to be negative about it? Paradox!
figmentPez
Staff member
Obviously everything has low self-esteem, and is in an abusive relationship because it won't man up.
Honestly doom, if you're aware of what it is, and see the end point, then good for you. Many people have no idea what they want and can't figure out how to get away from what they don't. You've acknowledged it's not working, why you feel it isn't, and have the objective in mind to take care of that. You're taking active steps toward a better situation for you. All the forum jokes of manning up? You were already there.
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Biannoshufu
So are you just waiting until she leaves to break up with her in order to minimize drama?
doomdragon6
Staff member
It was just a rant. In general, it's fine.
It's just a "I put in more than I get out" sort of thing.
It's just a "I put in more than I get out" sort of thing.
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Biannoshufu
Therapy!
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SeraRelm
So... no kids yet.
The Rapy? Sounds like this should be posted in the BDSM thread.
Added at: 10:37
Also, HAH!
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Biannoshufu
Upside to shitty news, what a holiday vacation, right? File for canadian unemployment, relax and play Xbox for a week, then start selling your sexy self as a (insert job description performer here) of the highest caliber.
Dave
Staff member
Fuck, dude. Why do they ALWAYS do that right before the holidays?
I get severance and my few days of vacation pay, but I was only employed there for three months so I don't think it'll amount to much. The timing sucks and I have to give back my BlackBerry, and I really hate looking for jobs.
Like I said in the other thread, the boss was impressed with my work, he just needed me to have a wider scope. I'll still get a fairly positive reference out of this so looking for a new job should be a bit easier.
Like I said in the other thread, the boss was impressed with my work, he just needed me to have a wider scope. I'll still get a fairly positive reference out of this so looking for a new job should be a bit easier.
So my wife is headed off to Vancouver for a week starting today. While I'll spare the exact history, this causes me no end of consternation. It's a trust problem. There I said it. It's hard to tell her after two years that I still have trust issues with her trips but I don't exactly know what's expected of me. Should I be 'normal' again? Will I ever be 'normal' again?
Depending on what caused the trust issues; chances are that no, you'll never be normal again. Your marriage, while it may be strong and steady in most ways (or have been rebuilt to be strong and steady in most ways, whichever the case may be), will never be the same again. And that's OK, so long as you stay open and honest about it, communicate when you need to, and try not to let mistrust from this issue smolder until it boils over into other areas of your marriage. But good luck regardless.
Cajungal
Staff member
Damn, Gusto, I'm sorry. 
I'm sure you will find something else, but man, why do they choose the holidays to do stuff like that?!
As for me, regular Thanksgiving plans are cancelled, but that's not what I'm sad about. My uncle's mother fell back into drinking after her husband died earlier this year, and she's messed up all the time. Also, when she went in for a check-up, she ended up being diagnosed with Hepatitis C. They have no idea how she got it. Poor lady... I was never close to her, but their side of the family is really suffering right now. She is completely helpless without her husband; he had all bills forwarded to his office all through their marriage, so she has no clue how to take care of herself. They don't want anyone coming over; they just want to be alone and be there for one another. I hope they all get through this okay. Please send good thoughts or prayers their way. It's going to be a tough holiday.
I'm sure you will find something else, but man, why do they choose the holidays to do stuff like that?!As for me, regular Thanksgiving plans are cancelled, but that's not what I'm sad about. My uncle's mother fell back into drinking after her husband died earlier this year, and she's messed up all the time. Also, when she went in for a check-up, she ended up being diagnosed with Hepatitis C. They have no idea how she got it. Poor lady... I was never close to her, but their side of the family is really suffering right now. She is completely helpless without her husband; he had all bills forwarded to his office all through their marriage, so she has no clue how to take care of herself. They don't want anyone coming over; they just want to be alone and be there for one another. I hope they all get through this okay. Please send good thoughts or prayers their way. It's going to be a tough holiday.
Dang, CG. Good luck with that, and god bless.Damn, Gusto, I'm sorry.
As for me, regular Thanksgiving plans are cancelled, but that's not what I'm sad about. My uncle's mother fell back into drinking after her husband died earlier this year, and she's messed up all the time. Also, when she went in for a check-up, she ended up being diagnosed with Hepatitis C. They have no idea how she got it. Poor lady... I was never close to her, but their side of the family is really suffering right now. She is completely helpless without her husband; he had all bills forwarded to his office all through their marriage, so she has no clue how to take care of herself. They don't want anyone coming over; they just want to be alone and be there for one another. I hope they all get through this okay. Please send good thoughts or prayers their way. It's going to be a tough holiday.
Cajungal
Staff member
Thank you, Null. Her husband was really a prince of a guy, too. He fought all throughout a very long illness, adamant that he wasn't going to leave his wife alone. In the end, he was exhausted and frustrated, but no one could say he wasn't a fighter. We all miss him and remember him as he was before all that: a bright and loving guy who put his family before everything else.
My hair is growing but not thick enough yet, so I am still shaving my head once a week. I don't let it grow longer now because I fear that my hair will end up looking like the crypt-keeper's.
But now I should have a total Magnum PI mustache to grow now.
But now I should have a total Magnum PI mustache to grow now.
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makare
Arguing about law with laymen makes my head throb. Last night i had this guy trying to explain legal ethic laws to me and he didn't even understand how the ethics rules are applied. And today I was talking to this really conservative guy about article 2 and his reading of it is just bizarre. I mean even Scalia who is very conservative would have to say, "uh I wish but no".
Sigh!
Sigh!
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Biannoshufu
are you hiring?
Didn't she cheat on you on one of her trips? Dude, I would have trust issues too. I know you guys worked things out, but damn, that's a hard elephant in the room to make go away.
Added at: 07:13
Same shit here back in 2009, my department at GSK went under, and right before Thanksgiving we all got a pat on the back and a boot out the door. It's rough, and makes you feel like a piece of shit, but you'll spring back and mostly likely find a better job out of it.
Dave
Staff member
I'd love to believe this, but aside from 2 or 3 paychecks it's been a year for my wife since she lost her job.
Honest answer? It changes monthly. We normally hire 1-2 people every fall and 1-2 every spring since we tend to have a handful of college students that come and go. It's always up in the air although we seem to have a solid crew right now that isn't going away. I've said that before though so...
Ayup, any advice is appreciated. It's been two years and while I'm obviously not freaking out as I have in the past, it's still feels like a bad case of heartburn.
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