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That is, indeed, the message that went with the mantis. The message with the book should have been: "Please join us in making wool hats to free the house elves. Thank you. Personally, I hope there's a Hedwig figure to make :-) From SPEW" We will launch a full investigation to discover who is...

Also also, after slapping Freddy about for a bit with a cartoon mallet, he has now confessed what he did and he's promised me the final package will be delivered tonight before 9PM.

Also, your best hint as to who your Santa is was in one of the messages you should have already received - the one with the Harry Potter book.

Not as well trained as one might like. There were supposed to be four gifts (and three messages)! Freddy, where is that final package? 1637685267 @jwhouk If Freddy and his...co-conspirators can be trusted, you will be receiving 2 packages; one this Friday and one expected Dec 2nd.

@blotsfan Some packages are winding their way towards you. It seems the Doomies are a bit confused and so you may get three separate deliveries spaced out over many days, possibly into January even. I hope it all gets there, sorry!

@BErt - the Amazonian Elves have declared that you shall receive a parcel on Nov. 26.

@Tinwhistler Our elves are a bit eager to get out and about after being quarantined with the Doomweasels, so apparently your gifts will be delivered TOMORROW. Please leave out some milk and cookies. With some whiskey. And spare ribs. In fact, forget about the milk and cookies.

@Dirona just being safe, do you have any nut or peanut allergies?

@Bubble181 You should be receiving presents somewhere around December 10.

@Celt Z - Amazon says your package should arrive on the 24th. But there is one more present that will arrive...later.

Oh @HCGLNS - Santa heard you and is sending you some of the finest coal dust we can find! (Wait, that's @Secret Satan that does that, never mind.) Anyways, you should have yourself a Dookmas gift or two by 10 December.

...I just got an email from the seller of the first one saying that if you haven't gotten it, they're assuming it's lost in the mail. I'm gonna wait a few days because the postal service is fucked at the moment but I might have to reorder. I'm really sorry about this.

@General Specific I fucked up and this slipped my mind. Your second gift should be there in early January. Did your first one come in yet?

@Dei Contrary to my earlier statement, package may arrive as early as today! Keep an eye out!

Told you it'd be in 3.000 pieces:D:rimshot:

@jwhouk Your package is out for delivery today... Assuming the trend line for FedEx competence holds, expect it to arrive on your doorstep in about 2 days and in 3.000 pieces.

@Far Your package should arrive on Wednesday "before the end of day" according to UPS. It says a signature is required and it will be a larger package.

@Dei The Doomies were a little rebellious this year, but your gift is finally underway! Look for it arriving on Dec 21st.

Bloomington, CA. Don't ask me, I guess the doomies wanted an outing on the beach and thought all of California was beachfront.

Mais non. It was shipped Dec8, but the only information I am getting for delivery is "Prévu avant le 7 janvier," which as you say is rather... imprecise.