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15 toys not to buy your kid for Christmas

Dec 2, 2009#1

fade

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/...your-k_n_351369.html?slidenumber=mOUGXKuMGkw=

(Don't be scared GasBandit. I know it says Huffington Post, but it's just a humor article. My spectrometer does pick up low does of Democratium and Liberalium radiating from it, though. Maybe wear some aluminum foil.)

Dec 2, 2009#2

Shakey

I want to get that fish for my nephew.

Dec 2, 2009#3

Chibibar

I think the fish one is kinda cool! the rest is more of a :confused:

Dec 2, 2009#4

Hylian

The lightning reaction game looks like fun especially as a bath time toy

Dec 2, 2009#5

figmentPez

I am shocked at the Tongue Kissing Pops! There is no way that children should be exposed to such wrongness! Giraffes have purple tongues, not red! What sort of lessons are kids being taught these days? Sugar is the biggest influence in a young child's life, and they should be learning scientifically accurate lessons from their candy!

Dec 2, 2009#6

Tinwhistler

that fish one is awesome.
I often remind my son where his food comes from. He sometimes looks a little nonplussed when he realizes that his chicken leg is an actual leg of an actual chicken (for instance), but then he goes "but chickens are tasty animals!" and makes me proud.

Tom, one of the guys in my old band, would bring out that lightning reaction game after gigs sometimes, and we'd play. After a few beers, it's more fun to reach over and see if you can make the other guy hit the button before he can react.

Dec 2, 2009#7

rabbitgod

I don't see anything wrong with that pole dance one.

The world NEEDS strippers.

And stripper enthusiasts

Dec 2, 2009#8

Bowielee

The Tarzan toy is just people reading something into the toy that wasn't there to begin with. They obviously designed it to have him raise his hand to his mouth for the Tarzan yell.

Dec 2, 2009#9

LittleSin

That Elmo thing is fucked up.

Anyone familiar with the work of Jhonen Vasquez? Cuz he did a short comic about something similar...if only I could find it.

Dec 2, 2009#10

sixpackshaker

Either Tarzan is doing it wrong, or he has a 4 footer that can fit between his fingers...

Dec 2, 2009#11

fade

Bowielee said:
The Tarzan toy is just people reading something into the toy that wasn't there to begin with. They obviously designed it to have him raise his hand to his mouth for the Tarzan yell.

Isn't that what makes it funny? If anyone actually thought they were designing a masturbating Tarzan, they'd be more disturbed than amused.

Dec 2, 2009#12

Wahad

Lightning Reaction IS fun.

Not for kids under 13 though.

Dec 2, 2009#13

TNM

Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

...

Dec 2, 2009#14

Green_Lantern

My only question... is Beach Spiderman Costume Cannon? I don't know they keep changing it.

Dec 2, 2009#15

fade

He's probably a clone. Of Gwen Stacy. Mixed with the Green Goblin's blood. Asexually spawned off of a symbiote.

Dec 2, 2009#16

Green_Lantern

fade said:
He's probably a clone. Of Gwen Stacy. Mixed with the Green Goblin's blood. Asexually spawned off of a symbiote.

Such terrible idea, yet, sooooooooo much better than One More Day.

Dec 2, 2009#17

makare

Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

Dec 2, 2009#18

doomdragon6

makare1 said:
Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

It's more that the writer recognizes that many racists refer to black people as monkeys.

Which is why the toy is a horrible idea.

Dec 2, 2009#19

makare

doomdragon6;308069][quote=makare1 said:
Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

It's more that the writer recognizes that many racists refer to black people as monkeys.

Which is why the toy is a horrible idea.[/QUOTE]

So I couldn't call my students my little monkeys just because there was a black student in the mix and asshole racists use monkey as a derogatory term?

That's stupid. and guess what I did call them my little monkeys and no one was harmed in the process so take that PC police.

Dec 2, 2009#20

Chazwozel

makare1 said:
Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

I gotta agree with this. Jesus Christ. Everyone goes 'apeshit' whenever you see a black person next to a monkey. We're all fucking apes!

Now stop staring at me like a bunch of goddamn porch monkeys (I'm taking it back).

This toy got a wtf from me.

Dec 2, 2009#21

strawman

The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

Dec 2, 2009#22

makare

stienman said:
The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

Dec 3, 2009#23

Green_Lantern

makare1;308092][quote=stienman said:
The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

it says girls only right on it. I dont see anything wrong with the toy but the girls only thing is questionable.

I like it when that stuff is color neutral, kitchens, cleaning stuff, toy grills etc.. all that stuff is great for intellectual development from pretend play kids shouldn't have to deal with the psycho-social trauma of accidentally playing with an opposite gender's toy based on color coding.[/QUOTE]

To make it worst: I find out that "gender color coding" is not even a century old, until the late XIX century people wouldn't even associate either color with children (they usually would wear white clothes), and the color coding started only near 1900... and it was reversed, pink was the "masculine color" for boys, because red was associated with Jesus so Red (Jesus) + White (former children color) = Pink (for male children), the same thing happened with bright shades of blue (for girls) since that color was associated with the Virgin Mary, aparently this only was reversed around 1920 or something.

Dec 3, 2009#24

Chazwozel

Green_Lantern;308320][quote=makare1;308092][quote=stienman said:
The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

it says girls only right on it. I dont see anything wrong with the toy but the girls only thing is questionable.

I like it when that stuff is color neutral, kitchens, cleaning stuff, toy grills etc.. all that stuff is great for intellectual development from pretend play kids shouldn't have to deal with the psycho-social trauma of accidentally playing with an opposite gender's toy based on color coding.[/quote]

To make it worst: I find out that "gender color coding" is not even a century old, until the late XIX century people wouldn't even associate either color with children (they usually would wear white clothes), and the color coding started only near 1900... and it was reversed, pink was the "masculine color" for boys, because red was associated with Jesus so Red (Jesus) + White (former children color) = Pink (for male children), the same thing happened with bright shades of blue (for girls) since that color was associated with the Virgin Mary, aparently this only was reversed around 1920 or something.[/QUOTE]

That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

Dec 3, 2009#25

makare

When I taught preschool more and more I would see boys wearing pink shirts. It made me pretty happy to see that kind of color coding nonsense come to an end.

Dec 3, 2009#26

Green_Lantern

Chazwozel said:
That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

I never said you should, but similarly I never said you shouldn't.

If he wanted to wear pink, what you reaction would be?

Dec 3, 2009#27

Chazwozel

makare1 said:
When I taught preschool more and more I would see boys wearing pink shirts. It made me pretty happy to see that kind of color coding nonsense come to an end.

Did you teach in South Jersey?

Dec 3, 2009#28

Green_Lantern

Chazwozel;308425][quote=makare1 said:
When I taught preschool more and more I would see boys wearing pink shirts. It made me pretty happy to see that kind of color coding nonsense come to an end.

Did you teach in South Jersey?

[/QUOTE]

Is he wearing "Black Face" (Well more of goldish-brown) make-up or something?

Dec 3, 2009#29

Dave

Nope. That's pure Jersey Guido fake tan.

Dec 3, 2009#30

Chazwozel

Green_Lantern;308424][quote=Chazwozel said:
That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

I never said you should, but similarly I never said you shouldn't.

If he wanted to wear pink, what you reaction would be?[/quote]

I'd be fine with it as long as it wasn't covered in unicorns or something.

Actually the unicorn power shirt would be pretty awesome....

I've got bigger things to worry about than my nephew being gay though. He goes to school dressed in THIS:

My fucking brother's influence lives on!

Dec 3, 2009#31

Green_Lantern

Chazwozel;308430][quote=Green_Lantern;308424][quote=Chazwozel said:
That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

I never said you should, but similarly I never said you shouldn't.

If he wanted to wear pink, what you reaction would be?[/QUOTE]

I'd be fine with it as long as it wasn't covered in unicorns or something.

Actually the unicorn power shirt would be pretty awesome....[/QUOTE]

Another trivial fact:

Unicorn used to be monster, vile, evil creatures, and only the purety of a virgin would be able to stop one, they aren't the Saturday Morning Princess Cartoon that we are used too.

Dec 3, 2009#32

redapples

figmentPez said:
I am shocked at the Tongue Kissing Pops! There is no way that children should be exposed to such wrongness! Giraffes have purple tongues, not red! What sort of lessons are kids being taught these days? Sugar is the biggest influence in a young child's life, and they should be learning scientifically accurate lessons from their candy!

Everyone French kisses!
Yeah but my dad says I'm the best.

TNM said:
Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

Click to expand...

...

Dec 3, 2009#33

Chazwozel

redapples;308439][quote=figmentPez said:
I am shocked at the Tongue Kissing Pops! There is no way that children should be exposed to such wrongness! Giraffes have purple tongues, not red! What sort of lessons are kids being taught these days? Sugar is the biggest influence in a young child's life, and they should be learning scientifically accurate lessons from their candy!

Everyone French kisses!
Yeah but my dad says I'm the best.

TNM said:
Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

Click to expand...

...

But bottle feeding a rubberised doll is all good? I actually have no problem with this toy in any way. We really need to demystify breast feeding and stop pretending that there is anything remotely erotic or offensive about it. Toys like this can't hurt that surely.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this sentiment but it ain't gonna happen in the U.S. anytime soon. Boobs are sexual here. Period. Which is why I think the doll is being sold in Mexico.

Dec 3, 2009#34

Joe Johnson

Yep, judging by Univision, boobs are merely functional body parts in Mexico.

Dec 3, 2009#35

Vytamindi

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs

Dec 3, 2009#36

sixpackshaker

Joe Johnson said:
Yep, judging by Univision, boobs are merely functional body parts in Mexico.

But you have to love the kiddie shows that have the hotties dancing around in hot pants and stripper boots.

Dec 3, 2009#37

General Specific

sixpackshaker;308569][quote=Joe Johnson said:
Yep, judging by Univision, boobs are merely functional body parts in Mexico.

But you have to love the kiddie shows that have the hotties dancing around in hot pants and stripper boots.[/QUOTE]

Wait, it that true?

Does this mean the Mexican men in a strip club are simply being nostalgic?

Dec 3, 2009#38

figmentPez

Green_Lantern;308433][quote=Chazwozel said:
I'd be fine with it as long as it wasn't covered in unicorns or something.

Actually the unicorn power shirt would be pretty awesome....

Another trivial fact:

Unicorn used to be monster, vile, evil creatures, and only the purety of a virgin would be able to stop one, they aren't the Saturday Morning Princess Cartoon that we are used too.[/QUOTE]

Dec 3, 2009#39

ScytheRexx

Ever since they showed off that shirt I have wanted it hardcore. I just want it so I can rub those "Necromancer's Choice" dipshits in the face with it.

Wait, it that true?

It's not really just Mexico.

Dec 3, 2009#40

Ravenpoe

ScytheRexx said:
Click to expand...

Ever since they showed off that shirt I have wanted it hardcore. I just want it so I can rub those "Necromancer's Choice" dipshits in the face with it.

Wait, it that true?

Click to expand...

It's not really just Mexico.

Is that a "My Little Whore"(TM)?

Dec 3, 2009#41

Iaculus

Ravenpoe;308783][quote=ScytheRexx said:
Wait, it that true?

Click to expand...

It's not really just Mexico.

Is that a "My Little Whore"(TM)?[/QUOTE]

As approved by Frank Miller!

Dec 3, 2009#42

North_Ranger

Tinwhistler said:
that fish one is awesome.
I often remind my son where his food comes from. He sometimes looks a little nonplussed when he realizes that his chicken leg is an actual leg of an actual chicken (for instance), but then he goes "but chickens are tasty animals!" and makes me proud.

Tin... If I ever have the honour to be a father, I wish that you teach me your ways. For your son clearly knows his meat.

Dec 3, 2009#43

Cajungal

I like the fish, too. When I was a kid, I had these play pieces of food made of wood that were attached by velcro. You could cut them apart and with a little wooden kitchen knife and pretend to cook. It was fun!

Dec 3, 2009#44

sixpackshaker

Xuxa Park (1st one was from Brazil) and there were shows like it that were very sexy for kids programing.

I can't link any thing I found because it looks like porn sites.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xuxa

Mar 17, 2010#45

dmiranda91

I like that 15 toys for my kids on Christmas hope I can get maybe at least one of that 15 toys. However, sad to say I don't get it on time maybe next year hope, there's like that also. SEO Services

Mar 17, 2010#46

sixpackshaker

very necromantic

Mar 17, 2010#47

Shakey

Visitors found this page by searching for: "toy to enlarge asshole"

Dear God...

Mar 17, 2010#48

Dave

Shakey said:
Visitors found this page by searching for: "toy to enlarge asshole"

Dear God...

Wait....wut?

WTF?

Mar 17, 2010#49

Gusto

Vytamindi said:
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs

I agree.

Mar 17, 2010#50

Iaculus

Dave;355496][QUOTE=Shakey said:
Visitors found this page by searching for: "toy to enlarge asshole"

Dear God...

Wait....wut?

WTF?[/QUOTE]

Merciful Odin...

(surreptitiously returns to his stretching exercises).

Mar 17, 2010#51

sixpackshaker

Dave;355496][QUOTE=Shakey said:
Visitors found this page by searching for: "toy to enlarge asshole"

Dear God...

Wait....wut?

WTF?[/QUOTE]

Everybody needs a hobby.

Mar 17, 2010#52

Dave

When you Google that this thread is #5.

Mar 17, 2010#53

Shakey

I'm disappointed we're not number 1. Apparently we need to post some more about enlarging our assholes with various toys.

Mar 17, 2010#54

Dave

Actually sex toys are 1-4. I don't think we'll beat that.

Unless the next twenty or so posts read, "toy to enlarge asshole".

Mar 17, 2010#55

Shakey

I wonder why they call it a toy? You'd think something that is used to enlarge your asshole would be less of a toy and more of a tool.

Mar 17, 2010#56

Iaculus

Shakey said:
I wonder why they call it a toy? You'd think something that is used to enlarge your asshole would be less of a toy and more of a tool.

Never underestimate the seductive allure of recreational asshole-enlargement.

Mar 17, 2010#57

Thread Necromancer

dmiranda91 said:
::words::

:mad2:

.

Mar 17, 2010#58

Dave

Someone took your shtick.

Mar 17, 2010#59

fade

dmiranda91 said:
I like that 15 toys for my kids on Christmas hope I can get maybe at least one of that 15 toys. However, sad to say I don't get it on time maybe next year hope, there's like that also.

How is babby formed?

Mar 17, 2010#60

Thread Necromancer

Dave said:
Someone took your shtick.

It's not the necromancy that I mind. See that plenty. What get's me worked up is the incomprehensible manner it was done.

Mar 17, 2010#61

Iaculus

fade;355553][QUOTE=dmiranda91 said:
I like that 15 toys for my kids on Christmas hope I can get maybe at least one of that 15 toys. However, sad to say I don't get it on time maybe next year hope, there's like that also.

How is babby formed?[/QUOTE]

They need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back?
it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids . they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; i am truley sorry for your lots

Mar 17, 2010#62

Dave

English is not their native tongue. Give them a break.

Mar 17, 2010#63

Bowielee

Iaculus;355558][QUOTE=fade;355553][QUOTE=dmiranda91 said:
I like that 15 toys for my kids on Christmas hope I can get maybe at least one of that 15 toys. However, sad to say I don't get it on time maybe next year hope, there's like that also.

Mar 17, 2010#64

Philosopher B.

I suddenly have a mental image of a sex toy with the durr face on it.

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