15 toys not to buy your kid for Christmas

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/...your-k_n_351369.html?slidenumber=mOUGXKuMGkw=

(Don't be scared GasBandit. I know it says Huffington Post, but it's just a humor article. My spectrometer does pick up low does of Democratium and Liberalium radiating from it, though. Maybe wear some aluminum foil.)

 

[Shakey]

I want to get that fish for my nephew.

 

[Chibibar]

I think the fish one is kinda cool! the rest is more of a

 

[Hylian]

The lightning reaction game looks like fun especially as a bath time toy

 

[figmentPez]

I am shocked at the Tongue Kissing Pops! There is no way that children should be exposed to such wrongness! Giraffes have purple tongues, not red! What sort of lessons are kids being taught these days? Sugar is the biggest influence in a young child's life, and they should be learning scientifically accurate lessons from their candy!

 

[Tinwhistler]

that fish one is awesome.
I often remind my son where his food comes from. He sometimes looks a little nonplussed when he realizes that his chicken leg is an actual leg of an actual chicken (for instance), but then he goes "but chickens are tasty animals!" and makes me proud.

Tom, one of the guys in my old band, would bring out that lightning reaction game after gigs sometimes, and we'd play. After a few beers, it's more fun to reach over and see if you can make the other guy hit the button before he can react.

 

[rabbitgod]

I don't see anything wrong with that pole dance one.

The world NEEDS strippers.


And stripper enthusiasts

 

[Bowielee]

The Tarzan toy is just people reading something into the toy that wasn't there to begin with. They obviously designed it to have him raise his hand to his mouth for the Tarzan yell.

 

[LittleSin]

That Elmo thing is fucked up.

Anyone familiar with the work of Jhonen Vasquez? Cuz he did a short comic about something similar...if only I could find it.

 

[sixpackshaker]

Either Tarzan is doing it wrong, or he has a 4 footer that can fit between his fingers...

 

[fade]

The Tarzan toy is just people reading something into the toy that wasn't there to begin with. They obviously designed it to have him raise his hand to his mouth for the Tarzan yell.

Isn't that what makes it funny? If anyone actually thought they were designing a masturbating Tarzan, they'd be more disturbed than amused.

 

[Wahad]

Lightning Reaction IS fun.

Not for kids under 13 though.

 

[TNM]

Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

...

 

[Green_Lantern]

My only question... is Beach Spiderman Costume Cannon? I don't know they keep changing it.

 

[fade]

He's probably a clone. Of Gwen Stacy. Mixed with the Green Goblin's blood. Asexually spawned off of a symbiote.

 

[Green_Lantern]

He's probably a clone. Of Gwen Stacy. Mixed with the Green Goblin's blood. Asexually spawned off of a symbiote.

Such terrible idea, yet, sooooooooo much better than One More Day.

 

[makare]

Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

 

[doomdragon6]

Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

It's more that the writer recognizes that many racists refer to black people as monkeys.

Which is why the toy is a horrible idea.

 

[makare]

Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

It's more that the writer recognizes that many racists refer to black people as monkeys.

Which is why the toy is a horrible idea.[/QUOTE]

So I couldn't call my students my little monkeys just because there was a black student in the mix and asshole racists use monkey as a derogatory term?

That's stupid. and guess what I did call them my little monkeys and no one was harmed in the process so take that PC police.

 

[Chazwozel]

Some of those are pretty bad but the lil monkey doll is sad mostly because whoever wrote the article associates race with monkeys. There are also white dolls like that.

Poor monkeys*. They are so cute and fun loving and they have to get pulled into PC racial stupidity.

*not including capuchin monkeys which are the goddamn devil and should be destroyed. IMO... of course.

I gotta agree with this. Jesus Christ. Everyone goes 'apeshit' whenever you see a black person next to a monkey. We're all fucking apes!


Now stop staring at me like a bunch of goddamn porch monkeys (I'm taking it back).

This toy got a wtf from me.

 

[strawman]

The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

 

[makare]

The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

it says girls only right on it. I dont see anything wrong with the toy but the girls only thing is questionable.

I like it when that stuff is color neutral, kitchens, cleaning stuff, toy grills etc.. all that stuff is great for intellectual development from pretend play kids shouldn't have to deal with the psycho-social trauma of accidentally playing with an opposite gender's toy based on color coding.

 

[Green_Lantern]

The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

it says girls only right on it. I dont see anything wrong with the toy but the girls only thing is questionable.

I like it when that stuff is color neutral, kitchens, cleaning stuff, toy grills etc.. all that stuff is great for intellectual development from pretend play kids shouldn't have to deal with the psycho-social trauma of accidentally playing with an opposite gender's toy based on color coding.[/QUOTE]

To make it worst: I find out that "gender color coding" is not even a century old, until the late XIX century people wouldn't even associate either color with children (they usually would wear white clothes), and the color coding started only near 1900... and it was reversed, pink was the "masculine color" for boys, because red was associated with Jesus so Red (Jesus) + White (former children color) = Pink (for male children), the same thing happened with bright shades of blue (for girls) since that color was associated with the Virgin Mary, aparently this only was reversed around 1920 or something.

 

[Chazwozel]

The monkey ones are OBVIOUSLY anti-intelligent designer, and thus need to be burned, BURNED! /lol

The cleaning trolley is a funny one to point out though. There's an age where both boys and girls love to help out and use the tools mom and dad use in their various activities, including cleaning. To some degree they are obviously targetting the packaging at girls, but they do the same thing for kitchen sink and oven toys as well, and plently of boys want/get them too.

Still, many of the other toys are real WTFs...

it says girls only right on it. I dont see anything wrong with the toy but the girls only thing is questionable.

I like it when that stuff is color neutral, kitchens, cleaning stuff, toy grills etc.. all that stuff is great for intellectual development from pretend play kids shouldn't have to deal with the psycho-social trauma of accidentally playing with an opposite gender's toy based on color coding.[/quote]

To make it worst: I find out that "gender color coding" is not even a century old, until the late XIX century people wouldn't even associate either color with children (they usually would wear white clothes), and the color coding started only near 1900... and it was reversed, pink was the "masculine color" for boys, because red was associated with Jesus so Red (Jesus) + White (former children color) = Pink (for male children), the same thing happened with bright shades of blue (for girls) since that color was associated with the Virgin Mary, aparently this only was reversed around 1920 or something.[/QUOTE]


That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

 

[makare]

When I taught preschool more and more I would see boys wearing pink shirts. It made me pretty happy to see that kind of color coding nonsense come to an end.

 

[Green_Lantern]

That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

I never said you should, but similarly I never said you shouldn't.

If he wanted to wear pink, what you reaction would be?

 

[Chazwozel]

When I taught preschool more and more I would see boys wearing pink shirts. It made me pretty happy to see that kind of color coding nonsense come to an end.

Did you teach in South Jersey?

 

[Green_Lantern]

When I taught preschool more and more I would see boys wearing pink shirts. It made me pretty happy to see that kind of color coding nonsense come to an end.

Did you teach in South Jersey?

[/QUOTE]

Is he wearing "Black Face" (Well more of goldish-brown) make-up or something?

 

[Dave]

Nope. That's pure Jersey Guido fake tan.

 

[Chazwozel]

That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

I never said you should, but similarly I never said you shouldn't.

If he wanted to wear pink, what you reaction would be?[/quote]


I'd be fine with it as long as it wasn't covered in unicorns or something.

Actually the unicorn power shirt would be pretty awesome....

I've got bigger things to worry about than my nephew being gay though. He goes to school dressed in THIS:

My fucking brother's influence lives on!

 

[Green_Lantern]

That's some cool info and all, but I'm still not dressing the boy in pink.

I never said you should, but similarly I never said you shouldn't.

If he wanted to wear pink, what you reaction would be?[/QUOTE]


I'd be fine with it as long as it wasn't covered in unicorns or something.

Actually the unicorn power shirt would be pretty awesome....[/QUOTE]

Another trivial fact:

Unicorn used to be monster, vile, evil creatures, and only the purety of a virgin would be able to stop one, they aren't the Saturday Morning Princess Cartoon that we are used too.

 

[redapples]

I am shocked at the Tongue Kissing Pops! There is no way that children should be exposed to such wrongness! Giraffes have purple tongues, not red! What sort of lessons are kids being taught these days? Sugar is the biggest influence in a young child's life, and they should be learning scientifically accurate lessons from their candy!

Everyone French kisses!
Yeah but my dad says I'm the best.

Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

...

But bottle feeding a rubberised doll is all good? I actually have no problem with this toy in any way. We really need to demystify breast feeding and stop pretending that there is anything remotely erotic or offensive about it. Toys like this can't hurt that surely.

 

[Chazwozel]

I am shocked at the Tongue Kissing Pops! There is no way that children should be exposed to such wrongness! Giraffes have purple tongues, not red! What sort of lessons are kids being taught these days? Sugar is the biggest influence in a young child's life, and they should be learning scientifically accurate lessons from their candy!

Everyone French kisses!
Yeah but my dad says I'm the best.

Because you shouldn't have to wait until you have breasts before you start breastfeeding your baby.

...

But bottle feeding a rubberised doll is all good? I actually have no problem with this toy in any way. We really need to demystify breast feeding and stop pretending that there is anything remotely erotic or offensive about it. Toys like this can't hurt that surely.[/QUOTE]


I agree with this sentiment but it ain't gonna happen in the U.S. anytime soon. Boobs are sexual here. Period. Which is why I think the doll is being sold in Mexico.

 

[Joe Johnson]

Yep, judging by Univision, boobs are merely functional body parts in Mexico.

 

[Vytamindi]

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooobs