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Ask me anything: Super Fun Size Smart-Ass Edition

Sep 17, 2009#1

Fun Size

Just like the others, but with no promise of honesty whatsoever.

Sep 17, 2009#2

Qonas

Aren't you really just bite size???

Sep 17, 2009#3

Wahad

Or perhaps pint-size?

Sep 17, 2009#4

Fun Size

Nope, I am in fact the size of fun.

Sep 17, 2009#5

Jake

You know we were meant for each other, but is there any way to consummate our love without touching each others' junk?

Sep 17, 2009#6

North_Ranger

I see you have a line running on your forehead. Is that perhaps the seam of the lid, meaning that you have to periodically take out your brain and wash it?

Sep 17, 2009#7

Hylian

Can you say you haven't ever not killed a super model ?

Sep 17, 2009#8

Cajungal

What's your sign?

Sep 17, 2009#9

Fun Size

Jake said:
You know we were meant for each other, but is there any way to consummate our love without touching each others' junk?

Beer and nachos.

Sep 17, 2009#10

Adammon

What is up with your avatar?

Sep 17, 2009#11

Rob King

Can you believe it's not butter?

Sep 17, 2009#12

Fun Size

hylian said:
Can you say you haven't ever not killed a super model ?

I'm skipping around because some answers require links and I'm on my phone.

Yes. I can also say that I am a rocket scientist, starred in Cats on Broadway, and invented the Internet. Don't make it so, but I can say it.

Sep 17, 2009#13

Cajungal

Do you prefer to be clean-shaven or to have some face fuzz?

Sep 17, 2009#14

strawman

How close to A2 do you live?

Should you, Qonas, and I stage a michigander get together?

When are you going to Cedar point next?

-Adam

Sep 18, 2009#15

Fun Size

North_Ranger said:
I see you have a line running on your forehead. Is that perhaps the seam of the lid, meaning that you have to periodically take out your brain and wash it?

Adammon said:
What is up with your avatar?

My avatar is explained in full here. The short version is that it is an promotional picture for a company that makes a lifelike bust from photographs to store cremains in. The line is there to open it up. My goal is to purchase several of them and use them to store things like loose change, or perhaps as a charming candy dish.

---------- Post added at 10:50 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 AM ----------

Cajungal said:
What's your sign?

I'm an aquarius, the water sign. My lovely wife is a pisces, the fish sign. You would think that would mean that we are very campatible, but in reality, t just means she's most comfortable when she's in me.

It's...awkward.

Sep 18, 2009#16

Fun Size

Rob King said:
Can you believe it's not butter?

Actually, no. I happen to know that it is, in fact, butter, and that the entire thing is a conspiracy put forth by the Illuminati combined with the International Margarine Council to convince people that margarine is superior to butter, thus increasing overall margarine sales while striking at the heart of their sworn enemies, the Dairy Council.

---------- Post added at 01:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:06 PM ----------

Cajungal said:
Do you prefer to be clean-shaven or to have some face fuzz?

I fall pretty firmly on the clean shaven side, but would be willing to reconsider if she had enough money.

As for my own face, it depends on how lazy I feel that day/week/month.

Sep 18, 2009#17

Fun Size

stienman said:
How close to A2 do you live?

Close enough to drive there for Indian food, but far enough away so that even on windy days I avoid the patchouli haze caused by the large hippy chick population.

stienman said:
Should you, Qonas, and I stage a michigander get together?

No. I'm afraid that meeting in real life might change the nature of our relationship, and then everyone here would notice that we were being weird around each, all talking behind our backs in PMs, speculating on what happened. Too much drama.

stienman said:
When are you going to Cedar point next?

Between having young kids and a fear of heights, I'm guessing it'll be a while before I return to the Point.

Sep 18, 2009#18

strawman

Fun Size;258335][quote=stienman said:
When are you going to Cedar point next?

Between having young kids and a fear of heights, I'm guessing it'll be a while before I return to the Point.[/QUOTE]

Young kids make it hard. I'm going to try to get an all day babysitter so it's just me and my wife.

We took them to the halloween events a few years ago. Four kids, two double strollers, and two adults.

It was arduous.

The kids are getting older, though. We'll see...

-Adam

Sep 18, 2009#19

Fun Size

Yeah. We went to Disney and had to skip all the roller coasters. I'm guessing Cedar Point would be a lost cause.

Sep 18, 2009#20

Jake

Fun Size;257893][quote=Jake said:
You know we were meant for each other, but is there any way to consummate our love without touching each others' junk?

Beer and nachos.[/QUOTE]
I won't pretend I haven't stuck my junk in those before, so it's a date!

Nov 3, 2009#21

Fun Size

Bump to take advantage of my newfound celebrity after winning the October contest.

Nov 3, 2009#22

Cajungal

What are you gonna do with your gift certificate???

Nov 3, 2009#23

Dave

Can I borrow $100?

Nov 3, 2009#24

Fun Size

Cajungal said:
What are you gonna do with your gift certificate???

It will be be squandered on video games, either replenishing my PSP supplies or going towards my Wii Christmas package (Kids get a Wii, wife gets Wii fit, I get new Mario and games of killing).

Unless Best Buy has hookers and blow. Then all bets are off.

---------- Post added at 06:38 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:37 PM ----------

Dave said:
Can I borrow $100?

Dude, with the way you throw money around online? Not a chance.

Nov 3, 2009#25

Dave

Wait until you get it. *tee hee*

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/Best+Bu...Card/9057307.p?id=1218013388273&skuId=9057307

Nov 3, 2009#26

Cajungal

HARAMBEE!

Nov 3, 2009#27

MindDetective

FUUUUUUUUUUN SIIIIIIIIIIZE!!!!!!!:boxing:

Nov 3, 2009#28

Hylian

Will the green scaled monkey lord ever forgive me for stealing his nachos?

Nov 3, 2009#29

Fun Size

hylian said:
Will the green scaled monkey lord ever forgive me for stealing his nachos?

Stealing nachos is an unforgivable offense in any context, but it is particularly grievous that you have done so from the green-scaled monkey lord. I fear your dreams will be peppered with green-scaled poo flinging henceforth unless you can retrieve and deliver the required peace offering to him. Good news: it's just a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. Green-scaled monkey lord is a huge Elvis fan.

Nov 9, 2009#30

Gurpel

have you stopped beating your girlfriend yet?

Nov 10, 2009#31

Fun Size

Gurpel said:
have you stopped beating your girlfriend yet?

Nope, but it's not my fault she sucks at Mortal Kombat.

My wife, on the other hand - her I let win. I'm no fool.

Nov 10, 2009#32

drawn_inward

What is your favorite way to spend free time?

What hobby do you wish you want to try?

Have you blessed the rains down in Africa?

Nov 10, 2009#33

Fun Size

drawn_inward said:
What is your favorite way to spend free time?

When I'm with the kids, I like to play games. When I'm with my wife, we generally watch some show on dvd. When I'm alone, I play PSP and read books - fiction.

drawn_inward said:
What hobby do you wish you want to try?

Hobbies I would like to try: I would like to physically make something. I like to write, and I program for a living, but it would be cool to do sculpture or painting that would result in an actual physical result, not just bytes on a computer somewhere.

drawn_inward said:
Have you blessed the rains down in Africa?

As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

Nov 10, 2009#34

Fun Size

Depends on the color. My favorite color is that shade achieved by cloud cover during transition. It's the pinkish-orange of Christmas lights and Maxfield Parish paintings. Oh, and of you put one shot of cherry flavor into a Diet Mountain Dew at a Pilot gas station - same color.

Feb 12, 2010#35

Fun Size

Bumped in an effort to alleviate a slow day at work.

Feb 12, 2010#36

BoringMetaphor

What is your favourite dinosaur?

what would you rather lose, hand or foot?

Favourite dead president?

If you had to chose one person to come back from the dead to terrorize the living as an undead super villian, who would it be and why?

Feb 12, 2010#37

Fun Size

What is your favourite dinosaur?

T-rex. I love the idea of all of that sheer killing power being fronted by those foofy little arms. I'm sure I would feel differently seeing one in person, but as it is, I cannot look at one without picturing it waving and saying "Hello, sailor".

what would you rather lose, hand or foot?

Foot. I'm not much of a runner, but I type for a living and play video games for fun. Plus, I could totally get a peg leg with exchangeable attachments and hidden compartments. Best USB drive ever.

Favourite dead president?

I do it all for the Benjamins.

If you had to chose one person to come back from the dead to terrorize the living as an undead super villian, who would it be and why?

While the obvious answer is Hitler, just to fulfill my Wolfenstein fantasies, I think a more practical answer is Micheal Jackson. We'd get new music (and really, what's more disorienting that a villain who stops to sing before smiting out his victims), and he could play on the ultimate fear of having to protect our children. Bonus: Thriller 2.

Feb 12, 2010#38

BoringMetaphor

That is a frightening idea.

Favourite way to commit murder?

Most likely food option you would like in gigantic quantities?

Feb 12, 2010#39

Fun Size

Favourite way to commit murder?

Firstly, I should point out that I do not commit murder. Murder is a crime, and should be avoided by decent people everywhere. Stay and school, and say no to drugs.

That said, I've always been a fan of the situation specific murder. You know, the candy maker drowned in a vat of boiling chocolate - that sort of thing. If I had to go with a generic murder, it would be dousing an individual with Taco Bell hot sauce and unleashing a pack of wild chihuahuas on them. It's horrific, vaguely comical, and there's really very little cleanup involved.

In theory of course.

Most likely food option you would like in gigantic quantities?

Toss up between coffee and whiskey, so I'm going to go with Irish Coffee.

Feb 12, 2010#40

BoringMetaphor

Food you wish you could swim in?

Biggest crime you have considered committing?

Feb 12, 2010#41

Fun Size

Food you wish you could swim in?

Nacho cheese. I imagine it would be good for my skin, and when I was done I would look like an Oompa Loompa.

Biggest crime you have considered committing?

Wearing navy blue with black. Fortunately I talked myself down.

Feb 12, 2010#42

Dave

What are your plans for your birthday today? 35?!? You're fucking OLD!!

Feb 12, 2010#43

Fun Size

Dave said:
What are your plans for your birthday today? 35?!? You're fucking OLD!!

Once freed from work, I will go home where my family will surprise me with an pineapple upside down cake (my daughter sucks at keeping secrets). After my son goes to bed, I will watch the Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince with my wife and daughter because we've been working through the Harry Potter movies each Friday evening. I kind of regret this, as this is the one night of the year I could insist on renting Zombieland and not meet any kind of protests, but what are you gonna do?

In a related matter, my wife, who has never in her life read Achewood, was discussing my impending age last night (she's about a month younger than me, so it's relevant to her as well). I was saying how 30 didn't phase me, but for some reason 35 does. She pointed out that I will now have to answer age bracket polls differently, saying, "Yeah, so 35 is really kind of a thing", which made me laugh hard.

Feb 12, 2010#44

Dave

I always equate my age with speed limits. Up until now I've been basically residential. This October I will move into in-town highways.

As long as I'm not Autobahn I guess I'm okay.

Feb 12, 2010#45

Kitty Sinatra

Fun Size said:
my family will surprise me with an pineapple upside down cake

I knew about my surprise party,
I was tired and depressed
But I acted surprised
And I told lots of lies
Yes, I did my best.

You a fan of Soul Asylum?

Feb 12, 2010#46

Fun Size

Gruebeard;341027][QUOTE=Fun Size said:
my family will surprise me with an pineapple upside down cake

I knew about my surprise party,
I was tired and depressed
But I acted surprised
And I told lots of lies
Yes, I did my best.

You a fan of Soul Asylum?[/QUOTE]

Haven't heard them in a really long time, but I liked all of the stuff I heard. Particularly liked Runaway Train and Somebody To Shove. Takes me back to a time (WARNING: IMPENDING OLD PERSON SPEAK) when I would watch 120 Minutes on MTV. Now I'm pretty sure that the full amount of time they dedicate to music videos in a given week.

Feb 12, 2010#47

Kitty Sinatra

I still listen to them regularly, although about a decade ago I lost the disc (Grave Dancer's Union) that had those songs on it and couldn't find another copy until just last year. It's a freaking masterpiece.

The song that the album title comes from starts with the line "I fell in love with a hooker." You ever fall in love with a hooker?

Feb 12, 2010#48

Fun Size

Gruebeard said:
You ever fall in love with a hooker?

Not that I am aware of. Like many men, I have professed love on several occasions, and each time I meant it. I was only right once though, and I'm pretty sure she was never a hooker. Reminds me of when I donate blood a few years ago, and they made me answer the questionnaire beforehand. One of the questions is "Have you ever slept with someone who has exchanged sex for money or drugs". I turned in my questionnaire and then said to the nurse, "I checked off no, but I have to be honest, I've been married like ten years now, and I never thought to ask.".

Feb 15, 2010#49

Jake

Fun Size said:
One of the questions is "Have you ever slept with someone who has exchanged sex for money or drugs". I turned in my questionnaire and then said to the nurse, "I checked off no, but I have to be honest, I've been married like ten years now, and I never thought to ask.".

Seems like it would be safe if it was your drugs and they exchanged sex with you for them.

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