Bachelor Parties (NSFW)
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I'm totally down with you on that score. Last thing I want at my parties is to be drinking through a swizzle stick in the shape of a dick.Shegokigo said:
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So you're saying that the day of the actual marriage has lost meaning? If your answer is "no", then why is a celebration of the end of bachelorness odd? Or for that matter a celebration of the upcoming marriage the way guys like to celebrate? I just don't get it.Lally said:
Short version: Whether or not you've been living together, there is a HUGE psychological difference between married and not-married for probably the bulk of human beings.
You can use your own argument against the act of marriage, too. Why get married? The act of marriage is a symbolic thing (setting aside the legal aspect for a moment) at that point, since you're already doing all that stuff. It's the same thing with the party. It's just a "ceremonial" celebration, whether or not it's already happened. Is the bridal shower also redundant? Why not? It's celebrating the new life together. But, again, that's already happened, so why celebrate now? Boobs and beer are somehow less than cake and presents?
Regardless of all that, it's really just a fun party before a guy gets married doing something that guys like to do. Really, all of the things I'm saying are looking for meaning after the fact. No one thinks about that. They're just going out and having fun before marriage.
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Lally
You may be surprised to know that my answer to that question is "yes!" I guess I should have added to my little diatribe that I actually don't care about getting married, and would be just as happy if I never did. I am not religious, I'm not real big on "hey everyone let's all focus on me!" and I could go tomorrow and get a court marriage for the legal benefits and be perfectly satisfied. I suggested it to my boyfriend and he kinda flipped out a little, and I know that it's important to both of our parents' that we follow these traditions, so I'll go through with it.
So no, cake and presents are not any better than booze and chicks.
So no, cake and presents are not any better than booze and chicks.
A buddy of mine was super-nervous about his wedding. He was very happy to be getting married, but he also has a hyper-inflated sense of responsibility and obligation. Normally, this is no bad thing, but the run up to the wedding, and the prospect (in his head) of needing to take on further responsibilities (will I be a good husband, will I be able to provide for my family, etc.) was basically making him mentally hyperventilate.
A strip club was right out, because he'd have been more likely to just feel guilty, so since he was a theater-and-costume geek, we took him Medieval Times (since he'd never gone), bought him tons of shit, had his wedding announced over the arena, and then afterward held an all-night gaming session in his apartment.
Relaxed him completely.
And then on the day of his wedding, the groomsmen ambushed him with nerf guns as he came out of the shower.
Good times.
A strip club was right out, because he'd have been more likely to just feel guilty, so since he was a theater-and-costume geek, we took him Medieval Times (since he'd never gone), bought him tons of shit, had his wedding announced over the arena, and then afterward held an all-night gaming session in his apartment.
Relaxed him completely.
And then on the day of his wedding, the groomsmen ambushed him with nerf guns as he came out of the shower.
Good times.
fade
Staff member
Well, that explains your perspective then. I think most people view marriage as more than a formality, whether they're religious or not. I'm not religious, but I can tell you for sure that there was an enormous difference between being single and living together and being married. There's a psychological locked-in-ness associated with marriage. I can respect your decision not to see it as any different, but the answer to your question about why people do bachelor parties is probably because most people do see marriage as a big commitment. A psychological commitment is s strong one that alters your perception, and for many men especially it begins on that day when they slip on that ring. At least at a much stronger level than it did before, living together or not.Lally said:
So what's wrong with seeing both as just an excuse to party, then? Ok, if you're doing things at a bachelor party that you wouldn't do while married, that's pretty damn stupid. But I think plenty of people on this thread have already shown that you can have a great bachelor party without going over the line. I've been to a couple, and they were basically just good friends, good food, good booze, and lots of fun. Moreover, you get to do all these things with friends you might not have seen for awhile, as they live in far off cities. What's wrong with any of that? It's a great excuse to have fun, and personally I think most such excuses should be siezed with both hands.Lally said:
Meh.
I do not trust my future best man (who is a woman) to throw something together. She's a weirdo. Much like my birthday, it's something I intend to skip with as little hooplah as possible.
I do not trust my future best man (who is a woman) to throw something together. She's a weirdo. Much like my birthday, it's something I intend to skip with as little hooplah as possible.
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Chazwozel
Greetings from Florida.
ITT: A bunch of insecure weenies.
Bachelor parties are whatever you make of them. Hopefully with plenty of titties in your face. You're not any better if you do or don't go to a stripclub with your pals, so get off your fucking high horses and live a little instead of claiming that circle jerking each other till midnight while getting drunk at home is soooo much better than pulling dollar bills out of a stripper's orifices or visa versa. The point of a bachelor party is one last guilt free night of debauchery before slipping on the wedding ring. Yes, of course you can still hang out with your pals after you're married. No, you can't come home at 4 in the morning reeking of booze and stripper perfume. No, you won't really be seeing much more than the same pair of titties for (supposedly) for the rest of your life. And once you have kids, the nights out with the buddies become far and few between (at least until said kids grow up a bit more).
The last one I went to involved the groom being forced to parade around the bars dressed as Superman. That's all I'm at liberty to say about that.
Peace out.
ITT: A bunch of insecure weenies.
Bachelor parties are whatever you make of them. Hopefully with plenty of titties in your face. You're not any better if you do or don't go to a stripclub with your pals, so get off your fucking high horses and live a little instead of claiming that circle jerking each other till midnight while getting drunk at home is soooo much better than pulling dollar bills out of a stripper's orifices or visa versa. The point of a bachelor party is one last guilt free night of debauchery before slipping on the wedding ring. Yes, of course you can still hang out with your pals after you're married. No, you can't come home at 4 in the morning reeking of booze and stripper perfume. No, you won't really be seeing much more than the same pair of titties for (supposedly) for the rest of your life. And once you have kids, the nights out with the buddies become far and few between (at least until said kids grow up a bit more).
The last one I went to involved the groom being forced to parade around the bars dressed as Superman. That's all I'm at liberty to say about that.
Peace out.
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Chazwozel
And a big, huge 
to any woman who thinks her husband had a good, clean, wholesome time with his buddies on his bachelor party. Yeah....that's the story... and we're sticking to it... 
:uhhuh:
to any woman who thinks her husband had a good, clean, wholesome time with his buddies on his bachelor party. Yeah....that's the story... and we're sticking to it... :uhhuh:
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Chazwozel
From my experience, the more wholesome the story has to be the more hookers had to be buried in the desert.Shegokigo said:But Chaz, THEY'RE man is different! He's not like all the cavemen out there!
Anyway, my ol' ball and chain is calling me to get to bed. I have plenty of wholesome activities planned for tomorrow and they all involve dunking her in the wave pool..So basically I'm going to be running around feeding the homeless and saving kittens from trees, whilst turning water into wine and healing the blind the whole night?Chazwozel said:From my experience, the more wholesome the story has to be the more hookers had to be buried in the desert.Shegokigo said:But Chaz, THEY'RE man is different! He's not like all the cavemen out there!
...whatever you want it to be.Chazwozel said:
I think you're missing the point of my comment.Shegokigo said:
(Although, yes I am, but still.)
figmentPez
Staff member
Damn straight. When my friend got married, I was his best man. He wanted a bachelor party that he and I, as Christians, would not be ashamed of. So we threw it at my parent's house. We had fajitas, played pool volleyball and then Goldeneye and Smash Bros on the N64. Everyone there had a good time, it was exactly what we wanted. If someone has a problem with that, so what? It was our party, they weren't invited.ZenMonkey said:
I agree mostly with Lally on this one. If your future wife does not care if you go to the strip club, then I guess there isn't too much harm done (but harm is certainly subjective).
Personally, I can not imagine going to a strip club for my bachelor party when I get married. That doesn't make me morally superior, but I think it shows a lack of respect for your future wife by going. I know I wouldn't want my fiance to have some random dudes' schlongs waving in her face. :moon:
The party I threw as best man was pretty much like most of the other non-strip club parties mentioned here. Beer, pool, video games, food, chatting, etc. Good times.
Personally, I can not imagine going to a strip club for my bachelor party when I get married. That doesn't make me morally superior, but I think it shows a lack of respect for your future wife by going. I know I wouldn't want my fiance to have some random dudes' schlongs waving in her face. :moon:
The party I threw as best man was pretty much like most of the other non-strip club parties mentioned here. Beer, pool, video games, food, chatting, etc. Good times.
And how many people buy into a worn-out cliché.
Because not everyone interprets the word "bachelor" or the term "bachelor party" the way you do. Just because your interpretation matches the cliché doesn't make it better or more correct than anyone else's.
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Lally
ZM and Bubs said pretty much what I was getting at all along, much more concisely than I did. Like I said before, I have no problem with a party. I'd never prevent my husband-to-be from having a party. I just think it's stupid for it to 1) be forced debauchery and embarrassment, which was the point of the OP, and 2) be the "omg last chance never doing anything fun again omgggg ball and chain" party it has come to represent. It's not because I am some prude that won't let him go to a strip club. I couldn't care less about that, although I do think the "if you don't go to a strip club and see tits you're a pussy" attitude is repugnant.
I guess I should have been more clear from the start. The OP was talking about bachelor parties that get crazy and out of hand because people think you have to do all kinds of "crazy stuff you can never do again omgggg" right before you get married. That particular attitude irks the crap out of me, for reasons I stated earlier. I guess I am taking my irritation out on the tradition in general because of that attitude, when there can be perfectly sensible and fun parties that celebrate the friendship of guys without resorting to pretending that the groom's life is over.
I guess I should have been more clear from the start. The OP was talking about bachelor parties that get crazy and out of hand because people think you have to do all kinds of "crazy stuff you can never do again omgggg" right before you get married. That particular attitude irks the crap out of me, for reasons I stated earlier. I guess I am taking my irritation out on the tradition in general because of that attitude, when there can be perfectly sensible and fun parties that celebrate the friendship of guys without resorting to pretending that the groom's life is over.
Oh yeah! We'll see about that!ZenMonkey said:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bachelor%20party
Hmmm, see Stag Party? Ok.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/stag+party
Aw well crap.
rly:three of my friends are all getting married this year (and with me, that makes 4).
We're all a bunch of morally degraded scoundrels. My fiancee though it'd be a good idea to combine bachelor and bachelorette parties, but now that i think about it, 4 bachelor parties over the next few months sounds like a hell of a good time
We're all a bunch of morally degraded scoundrels. My fiancee though it'd be a good idea to combine bachelor and bachelorette parties, but now that i think about it, 4 bachelor parties over the next few months sounds like a hell of a good time
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