And, really, everybody knows all Americans just dink Duff. Whaddayamean TV lied to me?!
Oh no, American Lager is just one of the many stereotypically "American" drinks we're known for! In addition to various brands of light beer that taste like chilled urine, Americans also routinely partake in:
Jello Shots - Alcohol-infused gelatin in a shot glass, popular at college parties and clubs near colleges
Trash Can Punch (AKA "Jungle Juice") - When you've got 150 thirsty frat brothers to satisfy on a budget, nothing beats this. Just throw every kind of cheap, non-brown liqour you have into a (clean liner in a ) trash can, then pour in every kind of cheap fruit juice you can find. Fill to top, mix with broom handle, throw in large chunk of ice, serve.
Schnapps - Mostly by high school students who want to be seen as original for drinking something OTHER than cheap beer.
Wine-in-a-Box - A friend of both collegiate drunks and busy, harried parents alike, wine in a box with a self-sealing spigot makes for a cheap and tasty mind-eraser that doesn't have the whole "goes bad 3 days after you open it" thing that traditional wine bottles have, so you can buy it in larger volumes and store it longer.
Absolut Vodka - Thanks to a marketing blitz in the 90s, Absolut is the go-to brand for teens and 20-somethings trying to find panty remover that their girlfriends won't object to the taste. Frequently mixed with gatorade.
Wine "Coolers." - Barely classified as alcohol, these sugary party favors let girls feel like they're being social and drinking with everybody else when they'd probably get higher BAC levels from dipping one finger in a bottle of rubbing alcohol and smelling it.
The JagerBomb - Americans love booze! Americans love energy drinks! Let's put them both together and hope nobody has a heart condition!
Everclear-based mixed drinks - When you absolutely, positively have to get shitfaced as fast as possible and don't care how much you feel like you got kicked repeatedly in the brainballs the next day, you've got this glorified rocket fuel. Numerous drinks call for it to varying degrees, but in whatever form, it's the go-to-liquid for embracing oblivion and losing bodily fluids as rapidly as physics allows.
