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rathkor
im 21, shes 19, so no
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R
rathkor
?
Ok, let me be a bit more serious for just a moment.
Basically at this point it sounds like excuses not to do anything. She's never had a boyfriend or anything, but she will one day. Whatever qualities you see in her, someone else does too, or will at some point. The longer you do nothing the longer you allow someone else to become the guy you want to be.
You assume she's old fashioned and would be turned off by a spontaneous act of romance. What makes you say that? Has someone else tried and it didn't work for them? Is she shooting down guys left and right because they don't court her properly? Or does no one ask her out because they all assume that she's too old fashioned to actually want to go out?
She's your friend now, but she won't always be. One day she's going to move, or get a job that takes up all her time, or not want to hang out because she's too busy having the kinkiest sex you'd ever imagine with a guy who swept her off her feet with a spontaneous gesture. You honestly have nothing to lose if you just call her up and see if she'd be interested in doing something.
Basically at this point it sounds like excuses not to do anything. She's never had a boyfriend or anything, but she will one day. Whatever qualities you see in her, someone else does too, or will at some point. The longer you do nothing the longer you allow someone else to become the guy you want to be.
You assume she's old fashioned and would be turned off by a spontaneous act of romance. What makes you say that? Has someone else tried and it didn't work for them? Is she shooting down guys left and right because they don't court her properly? Or does no one ask her out because they all assume that she's too old fashioned to actually want to go out?
She's your friend now, but she won't always be. One day she's going to move, or get a job that takes up all her time, or not want to hang out because she's too busy having the kinkiest sex you'd ever imagine with a guy who swept her off her feet with a spontaneous gesture. You honestly have nothing to lose if you just call her up and see if she'd be interested in doing something.
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rathkor
no, she has discussed her distaste for guys hitting on her in the less subtle ways college guys are known for, and has expessed hollywood romance as unrealistic. she likes Princess Bride as a story, but she only really likes the typical romance of it because te typical romantic kiss isnt from two people who just met on this adventure, but because it was between two people whos romance was already established, was described to have developed slowly over time, and the final kiss was the result of a reunion, unlike other typical romance stories.
thats why even if that glance meant more than just two people looking over at the same time, i doubt that was an invitation to a kiss, based on our previous discussions of The Princess Bride and other romantic movies.
As for the kinky sex you mentioned, she has flat out stated her distaste of guys who are sex obsessed and has stated she will not be having sex beore marriage. Hell, she even once cosplayed as the girl trainer from Pokemon Black and White, and liked the costume, but stated that that was just right at her comfort level of "skankiness," to which i had a nice chuckle.
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rathkor
Ive asked out girls before. hence the reason im so pessimistic now. When people say the worst tha can happen in a "no", i can safely say from experience that no, it can in fact, get much worse than that.
Let me get this straight:
1) You have a friend you've known a while and are close with, and you really want to ask her out.
2) You've had long discussions with her about what she considers actually romantic.
3) She's specifically talked about how she considers "hollywood romances" unrealistic and likes the Princess Bride because the romance develops slowly over time between two people who got to know one another over that time.
4) You guys watched the movie together. Not any movie, but the specifically the Princess Bride. Alone. While she sat next to you.
And you did nothing. At all.
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Dude. I know you're young and everything, but...dude.
1) You have a friend you've known a while and are close with, and you really want to ask her out.
2) You've had long discussions with her about what she considers actually romantic.
3) She's specifically talked about how she considers "hollywood romances" unrealistic and likes the Princess Bride because the romance develops slowly over time between two people who got to know one another over that time.
4) You guys watched the movie together. Not any movie, but the specifically the Princess Bride. Alone. While she sat next to you.
And you did nothing. At all.
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Dude. I know you're young and everything, but...dude.
I've had worse than a no before but you can't let these things get you down. Either I'm an idiot, an incurable optimist, or a glutton for punishment, or maybe something about being an artist that has me ready to accept any and all rejection and get over it pretty immediately, but it's important to keep fuckin' trying.
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rathkor
i'd guess a glutton for punishment myself. i might try and bring it up next time i see her, if i get the chance.
C
Chibibar
Then you know what? if she likes old fashion, then do it the "old fashion" way. Ask her if she like to accompany you to an outing that you both like. Talk with her and spend time with her. Tell her you would be honored if she would go out with you. If she said no, then so be it. If she said, yes. yay!!!
Okay, we'll make a deal. If she literally castrates you, you hereby have the right to say "I told you so." That seems fair.
I figure that I have slept with/dated about 1 in 20 girls I hit on/ask out with my number being in the mid double digits area, that's a lot of rejection...am I pessimistic? No, you don't know the answer to a question you never ask. So last time, stop getting on the express excuse train to lonelyville, and fucking go for it. If she takes your balls I will give you mine and take the I told you so, but I am pretty sure the worst case scenario for this is a no and maybe being ignored.
Like I said this is my last post, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, you've been given the advice, if you don't act on it you have no one to blame but yourself.
Like I said this is my last post, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, you've been given the advice, if you don't act on it you have no one to blame but yourself.
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rathkor
woah, its not like im dragging my feet. i havent seen her since making the post. thats all.
I'm in basically the same boat, I like a girl I've known for the last 6 months and want to be more than friends with, but there's a difference that she just a couple months ago got out of a relationship that sounds like it ended on a sour note and I'm worried about being "too soon." I ordinarily don't have too much trouble announcing my feelings to a girl, and we heavily flirt with eachother jokingly (half-jokingly on my part), we spent all day hanging out together on Sunday and I had a great time with her, but a couple of my friends are telling me I should hold off a while longer before telling her how I seriously feel.
My emotions right now are going... "Fuck those friends, tell the girl already."
My emotions right now are going... "Fuck those friends, tell the girl already."
It's been a couple months? Go for it. If she says, "I'm not ready to get into a relationship again just yet" then at least you tried.
The girl I epically failed with, as chronicled on this forums, started dating a guy DAYS before I told her I liked her.
he's a guy she had described to me, as a friend, like somebody I would probably like because "He is very very similar to me".
And, you know, he is. I know him, and I can tell you, he's a lot like a more straightforward version of me.
Don't let that happen to you.
he's a guy she had described to me, as a friend, like somebody I would probably like because "He is very very similar to me".
And, you know, he is. I know him, and I can tell you, he's a lot like a more straightforward version of me.
Don't let that happen to you.
Are you talking to him or to me? Because I sure as hell learned my lesson without any need for people saying "I told you so", thank you.
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rathkor
well, i will be seeing her at a video game game night friday, so if i get the chance to, and if i can muster up the courage, ill ask her.
still, they did tell you so
let's try to focus on what rathkor can learn from my stupidity instead of pointing it out, please.
But it is easy to kick people when they are down.
C
Chibibar
for the record: I don't think it was stupidity. It was just an opportunity. We miss A LOT of opportunities that life throws our way either because, we didn't see it, we didn't know know it, or totally oblivious to it. The main trick is that we learn from it and able to spot it better next time
Just remember, if she asks you over to bake cookies, that's not what she actually wants.
No one is telling you to get your McLuvin' on (which sounds like a bad idea, in this case), just ask her out.
It's real simple.
You drop trou and say "So, how about it?"
You drop trou and say "So, how about it?"
You still missed your chance to test the waters by touching her hand or something...
Added at: 20:16
You should check for USB ports then, she might be some sort of robot from the future...
Pretty much this.
You always have such a thought, about everything, anytime.
Heck, I'm pretty much mind fucked all of you posters on this forum. Only Silver Jelly offered a reach around because he's a gentleman.
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