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Dating the Best Friend
#1
Anonymous
Anonymous
I don't think my best friend or anyone in our circle is on here, but on the off chance they are, I'm making this post anonymous and gender neutral, just in case. My past posts and writing style will probably give me away, but still, precautions are precautions.
So, I've known my best friend for nearly a decade now. They reached out to me once when I went through a hard time. Since then, we've had each others backs more times than I can count. We've done road trips together. Long, late night conversations. We're both creative people and we've bounced ideas back and forth on our latest hairbrained schemes. They've said I give far better, constructive feedback than anyone else.
When we first met, we were both with someone (I admitted to them I had a small crush on them when we first met). I've been single off and on since then, but they've always had the same partner. They've introduced me to a number of their friends; some led to short dating, one to a short relationship.
Their partner was...not exactly perfect. They weren't abusive, but they had a sarcastic, passive aggressive way of dealing with my friend. I've often wondered if it was borderline emotional abuse or manipulation. Little sarcastic jabs, not being emotionally supportive or distant, especially when it came to my best friend's ongoing mental health struggles. That's something my friend and I always had in common and been there for each other.
Now, I never wanted to get in between the two of them because despite the troubles, they made a good, cute couple. And I was more than happy to have a great friend who really got me. Their partner claimed not to be jealous of our friendship, but I sometimes question that because of the comments they'd make. Like if we went to see a movie without them, they'd make a snide joke about our "date." And I believe there was some snide comments about my friend cheating on them with me. It never really bothered either of us too much because they were, seemingly, superficial jokes. There was never an outright, serious accusation. Their partner worked odd hours and often missed out on joining us to see the latest movie. If they were available, they were ALWAYS welcome to join along. I didn't know their partner terribly well, or spoke to them much one-on-one, but I knew them well enough to call them a friend, at least. But there have been times that we've gone out, just the two of us, to movies or trivia nights or road trip excursions, and a few times people confused us for being a couple.
Anyway, my best friend and their partner broke up about two months ago. Best friend was an absolute wreck, as anyone expected they would be if it ever happened. Their partner dumped them unceremoniously and moved out that same day. My friend is slowly getting to a better place now, more focused but stressed out over their job than anything else these days. And we've been talking and hanging out a bit more lately.
To give them a safe space, away from their place that reminds them too much of their partner, I gave them spare keys to my place. They haven't really taken advantage of it yet, but the option is there. They stayed the night this past weekend. Nothing happened, mind you. I had an air mattress so they slept on that. We just hung out, talked, watched a movie, etc. As far as I can tell, there was no spark or hint of intimacy. But it was nice. It was comfortable. They even pointed out they hadn't once felt the need to smoke their weed - usually used in times of high anxiety - because they felt so comfortable here. There's a particular video game they love playing to destress, so I've had that downloaded in case they wanted to play it. And they did, which they said made them feel even more comfortable.
And I guess...after our long history, of spending so much time together, of knowing each other so well, I guess the question constantly in the back of my mind is...should we? Should we try dating?
To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm asking this looking for actual advice or if I'm asking it myself, almost rhetorically. I've said to myself before that I love them, absolutely, but I'm not sure if I'm IN love with them. Neither of us are exactly our usual respective "type" that we're into. And I also want to be mindful of the feelings of her friend I had a relationship with, not just because they're still really good friends, but because I think their friend still harbors feelings for me. Our breakup was mutual, though we've had the odd casual sex since then (not in years, though), and we've remain relatively good friends. But I feel like that added scenario might make things...awkward.
And of course, there's the potential of losing a best friend out of this if things don't work out.
I guess this is one of those things were I can't help thinking to myself, "Why not?" We like each other. We enjoy each others company immensely. We know each other pretty well. Maybe a dumb example, but I think about in Spectacular Spider-Man, where he has some great news and the first person he wants to tell is Gwen, and he realized how much he cares for her right there. That's similar with my best friend. The first person I want to tell ANYTHING, good or bad, is them. I often hold off posting something on social media so they can be the first to know.
On the other hand, I don't know if similar feelings are on their mind. They're still raw from the break-up, which is understandable. I don't want to be just a glorified rebound, nor take advantage of how vulnerable they're feeling. I sure as hell will NEVER make the first move or even make a hint of a move without them clearly consenting or giving a sign. Even then, I wouldn't want to misinterpret a "sign" and push something they don't want. No, if something were to happen, they would have to make the first, blatantly clear move.
If it doesn't happen? I'm okay with that. I still get to have my best friend to confide in. If they find someone else, I'd be happy for them.
So, I've known my best friend for nearly a decade now. They reached out to me once when I went through a hard time. Since then, we've had each others backs more times than I can count. We've done road trips together. Long, late night conversations. We're both creative people and we've bounced ideas back and forth on our latest hairbrained schemes. They've said I give far better, constructive feedback than anyone else.
When we first met, we were both with someone (I admitted to them I had a small crush on them when we first met). I've been single off and on since then, but they've always had the same partner. They've introduced me to a number of their friends; some led to short dating, one to a short relationship.
Their partner was...not exactly perfect. They weren't abusive, but they had a sarcastic, passive aggressive way of dealing with my friend. I've often wondered if it was borderline emotional abuse or manipulation. Little sarcastic jabs, not being emotionally supportive or distant, especially when it came to my best friend's ongoing mental health struggles. That's something my friend and I always had in common and been there for each other.
Now, I never wanted to get in between the two of them because despite the troubles, they made a good, cute couple. And I was more than happy to have a great friend who really got me. Their partner claimed not to be jealous of our friendship, but I sometimes question that because of the comments they'd make. Like if we went to see a movie without them, they'd make a snide joke about our "date." And I believe there was some snide comments about my friend cheating on them with me. It never really bothered either of us too much because they were, seemingly, superficial jokes. There was never an outright, serious accusation. Their partner worked odd hours and often missed out on joining us to see the latest movie. If they were available, they were ALWAYS welcome to join along. I didn't know their partner terribly well, or spoke to them much one-on-one, but I knew them well enough to call them a friend, at least. But there have been times that we've gone out, just the two of us, to movies or trivia nights or road trip excursions, and a few times people confused us for being a couple.
Anyway, my best friend and their partner broke up about two months ago. Best friend was an absolute wreck, as anyone expected they would be if it ever happened. Their partner dumped them unceremoniously and moved out that same day. My friend is slowly getting to a better place now, more focused but stressed out over their job than anything else these days. And we've been talking and hanging out a bit more lately.
To give them a safe space, away from their place that reminds them too much of their partner, I gave them spare keys to my place. They haven't really taken advantage of it yet, but the option is there. They stayed the night this past weekend. Nothing happened, mind you. I had an air mattress so they slept on that. We just hung out, talked, watched a movie, etc. As far as I can tell, there was no spark or hint of intimacy. But it was nice. It was comfortable. They even pointed out they hadn't once felt the need to smoke their weed - usually used in times of high anxiety - because they felt so comfortable here. There's a particular video game they love playing to destress, so I've had that downloaded in case they wanted to play it. And they did, which they said made them feel even more comfortable.
And I guess...after our long history, of spending so much time together, of knowing each other so well, I guess the question constantly in the back of my mind is...should we? Should we try dating?
To be honest, I'm not sure if I'm asking this looking for actual advice or if I'm asking it myself, almost rhetorically. I've said to myself before that I love them, absolutely, but I'm not sure if I'm IN love with them. Neither of us are exactly our usual respective "type" that we're into. And I also want to be mindful of the feelings of her friend I had a relationship with, not just because they're still really good friends, but because I think their friend still harbors feelings for me. Our breakup was mutual, though we've had the odd casual sex since then (not in years, though), and we've remain relatively good friends. But I feel like that added scenario might make things...awkward.
And of course, there's the potential of losing a best friend out of this if things don't work out.
I guess this is one of those things were I can't help thinking to myself, "Why not?" We like each other. We enjoy each others company immensely. We know each other pretty well. Maybe a dumb example, but I think about in Spectacular Spider-Man, where he has some great news and the first person he wants to tell is Gwen, and he realized how much he cares for her right there. That's similar with my best friend. The first person I want to tell ANYTHING, good or bad, is them. I often hold off posting something on social media so they can be the first to know.
On the other hand, I don't know if similar feelings are on their mind. They're still raw from the break-up, which is understandable. I don't want to be just a glorified rebound, nor take advantage of how vulnerable they're feeling. I sure as hell will NEVER make the first move or even make a hint of a move without them clearly consenting or giving a sign. Even then, I wouldn't want to misinterpret a "sign" and push something they don't want. No, if something were to happen, they would have to make the first, blatantly clear move.
If it doesn't happen? I'm okay with that. I still get to have my best friend to confide in. If they find someone else, I'd be happy for them.
#2
mikerc
mikerc
I don't really have any advice for you. I'm just posting because your profile picture was turning up in the "latest posts" sidebar under this even though you posted as anonymous.
#3
PatrThom
Continue to be a valued friend, continue to offer help and refuge, but you've already said that "...Neither of us are exactly our usual respective 'type' that we're into."
So be a friend, benefits or no, but be a friend. If it grows into something more later, then so be it, but it should probably be something that "happens" as opposed to something you both "try." I don't know enough about either of you to know how "try" would work out, but I am going on the many experiences of (myself/others) that suggest it is not easy for a friendship to survive a brief flare into a relationship. It is possible, just very much not common, because it requires both parties to accept/anticipate and be prepared for an eventual return to friendship prior to the "try."
-Patrick
PatrThom
I don't think so. Not at first, at least. Not until the rebound is good and done.should we? Should we try dating?
Continue to be a valued friend, continue to offer help and refuge, but you've already said that "...Neither of us are exactly our usual respective 'type' that we're into."
So be a friend, benefits or no, but be a friend. If it grows into something more later, then so be it, but it should probably be something that "happens" as opposed to something you both "try." I don't know enough about either of you to know how "try" would work out, but I am going on the many experiences of (myself/others) that suggest it is not easy for a friendship to survive a brief flare into a relationship. It is possible, just very much not common, because it requires both parties to accept/anticipate and be prepared for an eventual return to friendship prior to the "try."
-Patrick
#4
phil
phil
I don't have great advice because just by the nature of this type of posting I can't know all the ins and outs of your life and all the context.
But from what you've written it remind me of one of the reasons I love my wife. I can be kinda boring around her because we're just comfortable with each other. I can be vulnerable around her because I know she's not going to judge me or hurt me.
It kind of, from my limited perspective, sounds like that's where you two are having essentially skipped the first few years of dating.
The only real thing I take issue with is this other friend who may have feelings for you? Don't worry about that. That's not something you can control and it's not healthy to shoulder the burden of regulating someone else's feelings or behavior.
But from what you've written it remind me of one of the reasons I love my wife. I can be kinda boring around her because we're just comfortable with each other. I can be vulnerable around her because I know she's not going to judge me or hurt me.
It kind of, from my limited perspective, sounds like that's where you two are having essentially skipped the first few years of dating.
The only real thing I take issue with is this other friend who may have feelings for you? Don't worry about that. That's not something you can control and it's not healthy to shoulder the burden of regulating someone else's feelings or behavior.
#5
Squidleybits
Squidleybits
I would advise giving them time to grieve their relationship and to recover from it before taking the next step.
Right now it sounds like they really need a friend.
Down the road? Based on what you’ve written here, it’s worth exploring for sure.
Right now it sounds like they really need a friend.
Down the road? Based on what you’ve written here, it’s worth exploring for sure.
#6
General Specific
General Specific
I'm going to jump in with some first hand experience dating a friend. Not my "best friend" per se, but definitely a friend.
It went horribly. As soon as we started trying to have a relationship, she turned controling and manipulative. We lasted about a month give or take and I have not spoken to her since. We were great friends at the start, but I lost her. I still think about her on occasion and hope she's doing well, but would never reach out to her.
Now, that was my experience. It sounds like you have a much stronger bond already than we did. So will you be the same? Probably not. My friend turned into a completely different person after we started dating. I hope you know your friend a lot better than I apparently knew mine. Just be aware that if things go badly, it could mean you never see them again.
A lot of what you describe sounds like a long-term relationship anyway. As @phil said above, it reminds me of how my spouse and I interact. Dill came over to my house for a weekend and was so much more comfortable with me than living with their sister that they never left.
So my advice, as others have said as well, is to give it time. Don't push it. Just let things go along and if it continues as is, with neither of you veering off path, broach the subject then. Or maybe they will.
Best of luck to you both.
It went horribly. As soon as we started trying to have a relationship, she turned controling and manipulative. We lasted about a month give or take and I have not spoken to her since. We were great friends at the start, but I lost her. I still think about her on occasion and hope she's doing well, but would never reach out to her.
Now, that was my experience. It sounds like you have a much stronger bond already than we did. So will you be the same? Probably not. My friend turned into a completely different person after we started dating. I hope you know your friend a lot better than I apparently knew mine. Just be aware that if things go badly, it could mean you never see them again.
A lot of what you describe sounds like a long-term relationship anyway. As @phil said above, it reminds me of how my spouse and I interact. Dill came over to my house for a weekend and was so much more comfortable with me than living with their sister that they never left.
So my advice, as others have said as well, is to give it time. Don't push it. Just let things go along and if it continues as is, with neither of you veering off path, broach the subject then. Or maybe they will.
Best of luck to you both.
#7
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
No advice from me, but it is quite important to be very good friends with your partner. They should hopefully be your best friend.
#8
ThatNickGuy
ThatNickGuy
No point being anonymous now, since I showed this post to her.
So...things may have happened.
She came over last night, with a dog she was dog-sitting. She actually wanted to come over to get incredibly drunk because she never really had before. She specifically said she wanted to "cut loose." So I joined her in the drinking, though I drank a bit more responsibly (taking it a glass at a time; she chugged from the bottle a few times). And she got...pretty wasted. Like, flopping around so much that I had to rescue her from my tub when she fell in after using the bathroom. Half the time, I was just making sure she didn't hurt herself.
Well, at one point, while we watched a movie, she drunkenly flopped towards me, collapsed on my lap, and fell asleep right on the spot. I tried to figure out a way to escape from under her so I could maybe get a blanket and pillow for her. She woke up after about 30 minutes and we talked...and cuddled. Something we'd never really done before. A few times, she tried going in for a kiss, but I reneged because she was still very drunk and I didn't want to take advantage of her. We talked a lot, I told her how I felt, and it turns out she's felt the same way for a long time (possibly even while she was with her partner). And we kept cuddling, talking about everything.
She started sobering up and we took the dog for a walk...where we had our first kiss.
We went back inside, talked more, cuddled more, kissed a little bit, but nothing more. I was adamant that if we did anything more, then I wanted her fully sober.
Today, we just spend all our time together with this new intimacy. I had to repeat a lot of the things I told her last night because she only remembered snippets. And it's so strange just how quickly we fell into being so comfortable, cuddling and being intimate. Got a bit hot and heavy at times, but we didn't go any further, despite being really tempted.
Sooooooooo...yeah, things happened and I don't know what to expect next, but both of our cheeks hurt by the end of today from smiling so much.
So...things may have happened.
She came over last night, with a dog she was dog-sitting. She actually wanted to come over to get incredibly drunk because she never really had before. She specifically said she wanted to "cut loose." So I joined her in the drinking, though I drank a bit more responsibly (taking it a glass at a time; she chugged from the bottle a few times). And she got...pretty wasted. Like, flopping around so much that I had to rescue her from my tub when she fell in after using the bathroom. Half the time, I was just making sure she didn't hurt herself.
Well, at one point, while we watched a movie, she drunkenly flopped towards me, collapsed on my lap, and fell asleep right on the spot. I tried to figure out a way to escape from under her so I could maybe get a blanket and pillow for her. She woke up after about 30 minutes and we talked...and cuddled. Something we'd never really done before. A few times, she tried going in for a kiss, but I reneged because she was still very drunk and I didn't want to take advantage of her. We talked a lot, I told her how I felt, and it turns out she's felt the same way for a long time (possibly even while she was with her partner). And we kept cuddling, talking about everything.
She started sobering up and we took the dog for a walk...where we had our first kiss.
We went back inside, talked more, cuddled more, kissed a little bit, but nothing more. I was adamant that if we did anything more, then I wanted her fully sober.
Today, we just spend all our time together with this new intimacy. I had to repeat a lot of the things I told her last night because she only remembered snippets. And it's so strange just how quickly we fell into being so comfortable, cuddling and being intimate. Got a bit hot and heavy at times, but we didn't go any further, despite being really tempted.
Sooooooooo...yeah, things happened and I don't know what to expect next, but both of our cheeks hurt by the end of today from smiling so much.
#9
Cheesy1
Cheesy1
Dude, I'm so happy you two are finding happiness in each other!
#10
General Specific
General Specific
That's amazing news! I'm so happy for you both! 
#11
Adam
Adam
It's about fucking time!
#12
General Specific
General Specific
Let them set their own scheduleIt's about fucking time!
#14
ThatNickGuy
I hope it's this.
ThatNickGuy
Wellllll, she IS coming over tonight. And she "threatened" to wear something that will drive me crazy.Let them set their own schedule
I hope it's this.
#15
Adam
Adam
I would also accept this:Wellllll, she IS coming over tonight. And she "threatened" to wear something that will drive me crazy.
I hope it's this.
View attachment 43710
#16
That best friend
That best friend
I wish I had of read these comments before picking out my outfit, I’m worried I’ll disappoint now
#17
Ravenpoe
Ravenpoe
Oh shit, everyone hide the stuff... You know which stuff!I wish I had of read these comments before picking out my outfit, I’m worried I’ll disappoint now
#18
ThatNickGuy
ThatNickGuy
For God's sake, someone hide @bhamv3 !Oh shit, everyone hide the stuff... You know which stuff!
#19
PatrThom
PatrThom
You could get done up as Beauty and The Beast.
...but where is @ThatNickGuy going to find a yellow dress on such short notice?
--Patrick
...but where is @ThatNickGuy going to find a yellow dress on such short notice?
--Patrick
#20
GasBandit
GasBandit
Oh shit, everyone hide the stuff... You know which stuff!
#21
bhamv3
bhamv3
Technically I'm still in my hiding place from when Sammi visited the boards. No one let me out.For God's sakr, someone hide @bhamv3 !
#22
Dave
Dave
My new favorite first post.I wish I had of read these comments before picking out my outfit, I’m worried I’ll disappoint now
#23
blotsfan
blotsfan
You couldn’t waterboard me enough to get me to tell my wife that this place exists. If she saw me on this site and asked what it was, I’d lie and say I’m setting up dates with other women.
#24
Tinwhistler
Tinwhistler
Back when I was new with my ex-wife, she was here. But she got bored soon enough and quit visiting as often, because our niche nerd culture wasn't super interesting to her.You couldn’t waterboard me enough to get me to tell my wife that this place exists. If she saw me on this site and asked what it was, I’d lie and say I’m setting up dates with other women.
#25
That best friend
That best friend
I keep checking back here, one because there is some fantastic advice you folks give, and two you guys are fucking hilarious!
#26
GasBandit
GasBandit
I won't lie, HF was the source of more than a few fights with the ex.
That's not a problem anymore.
That's not a problem anymore.
#27
Ravenpoe
Ravenpoe
I legally have to point out that all of my posts are for entertainment purposes only and I cannot be held responsible for any financial, personal, or overthrowing the government advice you might take from itI keep checking back here, one because there is some fantastic advice you folks give, and two you guys are fucking hilarious!
#28
blotsfan
blotsfan
My ex found out about it, and while it didn’t cause any fights, I could not explain what this place is in a way that didn’t sound horribly embarassing.
“Ok, well you see, back when I was 13, I liked this web comic PvP…”
“Ok well a webcomic is a comic that is only on the internet.”
“Ok, well PvP is short for Player vs Player. It was a term commonly used in MMOs.
“Ok well MMO is short for MMORPG which stands for…”
“Ok, well you see, back when I was 13, I liked this web comic PvP…”
“Ok well a webcomic is a comic that is only on the internet.”
“Ok, well PvP is short for Player vs Player. It was a term commonly used in MMOs.
“Ok well MMO is short for MMORPG which stands for…”
#29
Ravenpoe
What's embarrassing about that? Some of my best friends to this day are people I met on the official Diablo strategy forum
Ravenpoe
"It's a forum full of people I've known a long time"My ex found out about it, and while it didn’t cause any fights, I could not explain what this place is in a way that didn’t sound horribly embarassing.
“Ok, well you see, back when I was 13, I liked this web comic PvP…”
“Ok well a webcomic is a comic that is only on the internet.”
“Ok, well PvP is short for Player vs Player. It was a term commonly used in MMOs.
“Ok well MMO is short for MMORPG which stands for…”
What's embarrassing about that? Some of my best friends to this day are people I met on the official Diablo strategy forum
#30
GasBandit
GasBandit
"So, there's this place on the internet where I used to be NEEDLESSLY mean and obstreperous to everybody, but now they're my best friends..."
#31
bhamv3
bhamv3
My wife thinks this is Reddit.
"What are you typing?"
"I'm writing about the movie we just watched."
"On Reddit?"
"No, on the forum I go on sometimes."
"Isn't that Reddit?"
"What are you typing?"
"I'm writing about the movie we just watched."
"On Reddit?"
"No, on the forum I go on sometimes."
"Isn't that Reddit?"
#32
blotsfan
“ok lots of people.”
“ok including me.”
blotsfan
“it’s a place with this one dude who feels the need to explain why jokes aren’t logical”"It's a forum full of people I've known a long time"
What's embarrassing about that? Some of my best friends to this day are people I met on the official Diablo strategy forum
“ok lots of people.”
“ok including me.”
#33
Tinwhistler
Tinwhistler
All my friends know I'm a big nerd. When I describe this place, I just say "the nerd forum I hang out on" and it elicits no further questions.
#34
Dave
Dave
My wife has met a few people from here and she was surprised they were “normal “. She’s aware and supportive (I’ve spent a lot of time & money here) but she’s a Facebook kind of girl, not a forum kind of girl.
#35
Adam
Adam
I kept reading this as "two of you guys are fucking hilarious" and I was desperately trying to determine which two she was referring to.I keep checking back here, one because there is some fantastic advice you folks give, and two you guys are fucking hilarious!
#36
ncts_dodge_man
ncts_dodge_man
My wife of over 16 years knows I'm on here - she knows it's a nerd-based forum and I periodically talk about things I see on here to her. She's not a huge nerd, but does like anime. Like Dave's wife, she's more of a "Facebook" person.
#37
Piotyr
Piotyr
Back to the topic at hand, super glad you're in a good place right now Nick.
#38
ncts_dodge_man
ncts_dodge_man
As for relationship advice for you - and, heck, for everyone in some sort of relationship, enjoy the "new-ness" of the relationship - even when it's not "new" anymore. Always be "dating" even if things in the future go beyond "just dating."
One thing that I personally do is I will just randomly buy my wife flowers - she loves flowers, so I get them just because I can or want to, which can be a surprise to her or I have her pick them out. I also don't just buy cut flowers - she loves to try to grow them too. I don't just get them for special occasions or holidays - it's something that just makes her happy or picks up her mood.
Another other thing - you are two different people who don't have entirely the same interests. That is fine - each of you can have your own "thing" to do, as people do need their own "me" time to remain mentally healthy. It's not in exclusion of the other - there's "together time" and "me time" needed in said relationship.
A final piece of advice (for now) - always communicate with each other - life is hard and relationships are hard (sometimes harder). The more you can communicate, in good times and bad, the more you can get though the hard times in either one.
One thing that I personally do is I will just randomly buy my wife flowers - she loves flowers, so I get them just because I can or want to, which can be a surprise to her or I have her pick them out. I also don't just buy cut flowers - she loves to try to grow them too. I don't just get them for special occasions or holidays - it's something that just makes her happy or picks up her mood.
Another other thing - you are two different people who don't have entirely the same interests. That is fine - each of you can have your own "thing" to do, as people do need their own "me" time to remain mentally healthy. It's not in exclusion of the other - there's "together time" and "me time" needed in said relationship.
A final piece of advice (for now) - always communicate with each other - life is hard and relationships are hard (sometimes harder). The more you can communicate, in good times and bad, the more you can get though the hard times in either one.
#39
PatrThom
--Patrick
PatrThom
I have described this place to people as "Our own private little reddit."My wife thinks this is Reddit.
--Patrick
#40
Bubble181
Mmmaybe GasBandit is sure doesn't realize he doesn't make the memes. Otherwise, I'm stumped.
Bubble181
Well, Nick is hopefully one of them.I kept reading this as "two of you guys are fucking hilarious" and I was desperately trying to determine which two she was referring to.
Mmmaybe GasBandit is sure doesn't realize he doesn't make the memes. Otherwise, I'm stumped.
#41
Bubble181
... Yeah, let's agree I'm definitely not the other funny one.
(sorry, I'm bad at bad jokes)
Bubble181
I'm not sure "a good place" is a great nickname, we don't know if they're quite there yet, and I'm not sure it's appropriate to make that kind of jokes already if she's just new here, Sheesh.Back to the topic at hand, super glad you're in a good place right now Nick.
... Yeah, let's agree I'm definitely not the other funny one.
(sorry, I'm bad at bad jokes)
#42
MindDetective
MindDetective
Me. I'm the other one. But I always delete the funny thing before I post it.Well, Nick is hopefully one of them.
Mmmaybe GasBandit is sure doesn't realize he doesn't make the memes. Otherwise, I'm stumped.
#43
General Specific
General Specific
I also had my spouse on here for a bit and when I talk about this place it's now just "The Forum"
#44
Celt Z
funny Spartacus!
And Mr. Z knew about this place even when I was lurking. I don't know if his account on here is still active, but he knows you guys as my " 'Forum Friends". Or the star? victim? of Gas' random memes and videos.
Word of advice, @That best friend : run! Run from the forum while you still can!
Celt Z
No, me! I'mMe. I'm the other one. But I always delete the funny thing before I post it.
And Mr. Z knew about this place even when I was lurking. I don't know if his account on here is still active, but he knows you guys as my " 'Forum Friends". Or the star? victim? of Gas' random memes and videos.
Word of advice, @That best friend : run! Run from the forum while you still can!
#45
GasBandit
GasBandit
I'm still not convinced that your husband and I aren't some kind of Lars/Fry situation going on. There's just too many mental similarities!No, me! I'mfunnySpartacus!
And Mr. Z knew about this place even when I was lurking. I don't know if his account on here is still active, but he knows you guys as my " 'Forum Friends". Or the star? victim? of Gas' random memes and videos.
Word of advice, @That best friend : run! Run from the forum while you still can!
#46
That best friend
That best friend
I think it might already be too late for me
I don’t wanna run I wanna see what’s posted next. Lol
I don’t wanna run I wanna see what’s posted next. Lol
ibk theNo, me! I'mfunnySpartacus!
And Mr. Z knew about this place even when I was lurking. I don't know if his account on here is still active, but he knows you guys as my " 'Forum Friends". Or the star? victim? of Gas' random memes and videos.
Word of advice, @That best friend : run! Run from the forum while you still can!
#47
ThatNickGuy
ThatNickGuy
Won't go into the nitty gritty details of things happening, but we've been spending a lot of time together. I can't get enough of her. I haven't smiled so much than I have in the past 2 weeks. It's not even just the sex. Just last night, we were punning (because she puns just as bad as I do, if not worse) and we were both laughing so hard, we could barely breathe.
She left me a note the other morning inside an empty bowl with the egg beater (because I often have eggs in the morning). The note said that I'm an "egg-cellent boyfriend."
But I keep coming back to something @phil said: it feels like we skipped the first few years of dating. And every time I think about it, the more it feels true. She told me the other day that we went on more excursions or platonic dates than she did with her ex in the past 7 or 8 years they were together. There are MULTIPLE pictures of us being goofballs like axe throwing or a Halloween trivia night. Some of my favourite memories have been with her in the past years. It really does feel like we skipped the first few years of dating, but in the best kind of way.
EDIT: Just to add, we've already said "I love you" to each other. And normally, that would scare me for such a new relationship. But the majority of my past relationships were with women I knew for only a short time. We'd already said we loved each other many times, though in a platonic manner. Being with someone intimately after knowing them as a friend for nearly a decade is a whole new ballgame for me.
She left me a note the other morning inside an empty bowl with the egg beater (because I often have eggs in the morning). The note said that I'm an "egg-cellent boyfriend."
But I keep coming back to something @phil said: it feels like we skipped the first few years of dating. And every time I think about it, the more it feels true. She told me the other day that we went on more excursions or platonic dates than she did with her ex in the past 7 or 8 years they were together. There are MULTIPLE pictures of us being goofballs like axe throwing or a Halloween trivia night. Some of my favourite memories have been with her in the past years. It really does feel like we skipped the first few years of dating, but in the best kind of way.
EDIT: Just to add, we've already said "I love you" to each other. And normally, that would scare me for such a new relationship. But the majority of my past relationships were with women I knew for only a short time. We'd already said we loved each other many times, though in a platonic manner. Being with someone intimately after knowing them as a friend for nearly a decade is a whole new ballgame for me.
#48
phil
phil
That's awesome and I'm so happy for you, bud! To me it's the best feeling in the world to just have a totally mundane kind of day and at the end it still feels nice because you got to spend it with your best friend and partner.
#49
drawn_inward
drawn_inward
Try not to over think it. I knew I wanted to marry my wife in just a few weeks of "dating". There aren't rules and regulations around these things. Every person and couple are different.
I wish you both the best!
I wish you both the best!
#50
ThatNickGuy
ThatNickGuy
Dammit, she got me.
#51
PatrThom
PatrThom
You don’t argue with the LBD.
—Patrick
—Patrick
#52
Cheesy1
And I already knew she felt that way about me. It's still really nice to hear her say those words, though.
Cheesy1
My girlfriend finally said "I love you" this past weekend. She's had some really shitty past relationships, so I wasn't going to push her on anything until she was ready.Won't go into the nitty gritty details of things happening, but we've been spending a lot of time together. I can't get enough of her. I haven't smiled so much than I have in the past 2 weeks. It's not even just the sex. Just last night, we were punning (because she puns just as bad as I do, if not worse) and we were both laughing so hard, we could barely breathe.
She left me a note the other morning inside an empty bowl with the egg beater (because I often have eggs in the morning). The note said that I'm an "egg-cellent boyfriend."
But I keep coming back to something @phil said: it feels like we skipped the first few years of dating. And every time I think about it, the more it feels true. She told me the other day that we went on more excursions or platonic dates than she did with her ex in the past 7 or 8 years they were together. There are MULTIPLE pictures of us being goofballs like axe throwing or a Halloween trivia night. Some of my favourite memories have been with her in the past years. It really does feel like we skipped the first few years of dating, but in the best kind of way.
EDIT: Just to add, we've already said "I love you" to each other. And normally, that would scare me for such a new relationship. But the majority of my past relationships were with women I knew for only a short time. We'd already said we loved each other many times, though in a platonic manner. Being with someone intimately after knowing them as a friend for nearly a decade is a whole new ballgame for me.
And I already knew she felt that way about me. It's still really nice to hear her say those words, though.
#53
That best friend
Without question, Nick is the most gentle, considerate soul I've ever had the pleasure to meet. I can be such an intensely guarded person, but never have I felt pressured or pushed by Nick. Yet I'm able to open up and talk to him in ways I've never allowed with anyone. In the few moments where I've share something difficult from my past, he listened to me, soothed me and he made me feel loved through the hurt. He loves the things I was told to hate about myself. He patiently waits as I overcome a shyness or anxiety and never judges me for it.
Pair all that love with his intellect, his wit, humour, enthusiasm, childlike wonder, consideration, sex appeal and kindness. What else could I ask for? It's more than I deserve and I'm just grateful. I genuinely am stumped trying to describe how caring he is, and how lucky I feel. There's an anxiety that screams through my head, telling me he'll learn something bad about me and see me completely differently, but that fear is shrinking every moment I'm with him.
I believe it when he tells me he loves me, and I love him wholeheartedly.
That best friend
I love @ThatNickGuy and I have for years. Only recently has it developed into a romantic relationship, but that underlying care and trust has been there for so long.Won't go into the nitty gritty details of things happening, but we've been spending a lot of time together. I can't get enough of her. I haven't smiled so much than I have in the past 2 weeks. It's not even just the sex. Just last night, we were punning (because she puns just as bad as I do, if not worse) and we were both laughing so hard, we could barely breathe.
She left me a note the other morning inside an empty bowl with the egg beater (because I often have eggs in the morning). The note said that I'm an "egg-cellent boyfriend."
But I keep coming back to something @phil said: it feels like we skipped the first few years of dating. And every time I think about it, the more it feels true. She told me the other day that we went on more excursions or platonic dates than she did with her ex in the past 7 or 8 years they were together. There are MULTIPLE pictures of us being goofballs like axe throwing or a Halloween trivia night. Some of my favourite memories have been with her in the past years. It really does feel like we skipped the first few years of dating, but in the best kind of way.
EDIT: Just to add, we've already said "I love you" to each other. And normally, that would scare me for such a new relationship. But the majority of my past relationships were with women I knew for only a short time. We'd already said we loved each other many times, though in a platonic manner. Being with someone intimately after knowing them as a friend for nearly a decade is a whole new ballgame for me.
Without question, Nick is the most gentle, considerate soul I've ever had the pleasure to meet. I can be such an intensely guarded person, but never have I felt pressured or pushed by Nick. Yet I'm able to open up and talk to him in ways I've never allowed with anyone. In the few moments where I've share something difficult from my past, he listened to me, soothed me and he made me feel loved through the hurt. He loves the things I was told to hate about myself. He patiently waits as I overcome a shyness or anxiety and never judges me for it.
Pair all that love with his intellect, his wit, humour, enthusiasm, childlike wonder, consideration, sex appeal and kindness. What else could I ask for? It's more than I deserve and I'm just grateful. I genuinely am stumped trying to describe how caring he is, and how lucky I feel. There's an anxiety that screams through my head, telling me he'll learn something bad about me and see me completely differently, but that fear is shrinking every moment I'm with him.
I believe it when he tells me he loves me, and I love him wholeheartedly.
#54
Bubble181
Bubble181
Is it an armadillo suit? In my mind it's an armadillo suit.
#55
Bumble the Boy Wonder
Bumble the Boy Wonder
This is so incredibly sweet, I'm so happy for you two!!I love @ThatNickGuy and I have for years. Only recently has it developed into a romantic relationship, but that underlying care and trust has been there for so long.
Without question, Nick is the most gentle, considerate soul I've ever had the pleasure to meet. I can be such an intensely guarded person, but never have I felt pressured or pushed by Nick. Yet I'm able to open up and talk to him in ways I've never allowed with anyone. In the few moments where I've share something difficult from my past, he listened to me, soothed me and he made me feel loved through the hurt. He loves the things I was told to hate about myself. He patiently waits as I overcome a shyness or anxiety and never judges me for it.
Pair all that love with his intellect, his wit, humour, enthusiasm, childlike wonder, consideration, sex appeal and kindness. What else could I ask for? It's more than I deserve and I'm just grateful. I genuinely am stumped trying to describe how caring he is, and how lucky I feel. There's an anxiety that screams through my head, telling me he'll learn something bad about me and see me completely differently, but that fear is shrinking every moment I'm with him.
I believe it when he tells me he loves me, and I love him wholeheartedly.
#56
Dave
Dave
I met my wife in January 1993. We married July 1993. That's 29 1/2 years. It's possible. A lot of work and communication, but it does happen.
#57
T
trudyy01
T
trudyy01
Honest communication, patience, and mutual respect are key in navigating this delicate situation.
#58
ThatNickGuy
ThatNickGuy
Yeah....unfortunately, we broke early this year. I could go into details about it, but I'd rather not.Honest communication, patience, and mutual respect are key in navigating this delicate situation.
#59
Bubble181
Bubble181
I'm approximately 95% sure trudy's a bot. I'm sorry they dredged this up.Yeah....unfortunately, we broke early this year. I could go into details about it, but I'd rather not.
#60
ThatNickGuy
ThatNickGuy
I assume that, as well. But I figured I'd say something, anyway.I'm approximately 95% sure trudy's a bot. I'm sorry they dredged this up.
#61
PatrThom
--Patrick
PatrThom
Is this something you have personal experience with?Honest communication, patience, and mutual respect are key in navigating this delicate situation.
--Patrick