Do you stand or sit when you wipe?

Do you sit or stand when you wipe?


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A

Armadillo

There is so much moral outrage over other peoples' defecatory habits. "You wipe sitting down? FUCK YOU!!!" :D
 
I sit..Though at at Music Festivals i learned the art of shitting while standing and wiping that way.It was weird.

BTW,
when i'm in a non Festival Environment i take 4-5 dumps a day. You people should eat more fibers.
 
C

Chazwozel

Count me in as someone who doesn't get the sit & wipe logistics. I lift a few inches off the seat, which I guess is a high squat (or sitting with no seat contact, if you prefer). Are you sitters really picturing someone standing straight up and wiping? That's dumb.

If I don't go 2x a day or so, I know my diet is crap. Eat your veggies, people.

Well yeah, you don't stay seated. You lift you cheeks up a bit, but you ass cheeks remain spread open so you can wipe your button.

---------- Post added at 03:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:39 PM ----------

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Sometimes this forum is pure (brown?) gold.

I'm a sitter. I love the wet wipes. I've never felt cleaner. I used to hide them in my bathroom so visitors wouldn't see them but now I proudly display them (but still leave a roll of the archaic stuff for people) on my bathroom counter and refuse to be given any (shit?) grief about them.

The thing I can't get past is this whole reaching back thing. WTF? You reach around your body? I just spread my legs, reach down between them and give a good (wet) wiping. WTF people?? Reach around?
Well then your taint just gets all nasty doesn't it?

---------- Post added at 03:42 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:41 PM ----------

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.[/quote]

I usually go once or twice a day. Any less than that and I'm - uncomfortable.[/quote]

How often do you eat?[/QUOTE]

I eat something like every hour and a half.
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

Weird, I defecate maybe 3x a week....

So's my wife. I think women in general shit a whole lot less then men do. It used to be like 2x a day for me until my doctors jacked up my thyroid a couple months ago. My metabolism is so much faster now that I dropped like 18 lbs and eat like a horse.[/QUOTE]

I usually go once or twice a day. Any less than that and I'm - uncomfortable.[/QUOTE]

How often do you eat?[/QUOTE]

3 meals plus 1 snack a day. I eat a lot of fruits, veggies, and whole grains. I only have 1 cup of coffee in the morning and a glass of iced tea with lunch or dinner. The rest of the time I drink water.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
When I was in the army, I learned the art of holding it in. Mainly because at times it was too cold and dark to go shitting in the woods when we were on bivouac. If you've ever been camping during the winter on a moonless night, you get the idea. Also, our cadets were well-known for waiting for the most inopportune moment possible to start exercises.

At one time, I held it in for three days - and almost frickin' broke the toilet once we were back to barracks.
 
I used to stand, now I sit. It just kinda...clicked one day to keep sitting down. It really came in handy when I had to drop a bomb in a bar that didn't have an actual stall.


As for frequency, usually twice a day.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go forget this thread so I can have my lunch.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
I used to stand, now I sit. It just kinda...clicked one day to keep sitting down. It really came in handy when I had to drop a bomb in a bar that didn't have an actual stall.


As for frequency, usually twice a day.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go forget this thread so I can have my lunch.
What are you having? Chili with chocolate mousse for dessert?
 
I stand. Straight up. My underwear is spotless and my ass-cheeks pristine. I also blast a dookie twice a day on average. Sometimes more, occasionally less.

Why are we talking about this?:eek:
 

Dave

Staff member
I stand. Straight up. My underwear is spotless and my ass-cheeks pristine. I also blast a dookie twice a day on average. Sometimes more, occasionally less.

Why are we talking about this?:eek:
It's been the hottest, steamiest topic we've had in days. That's why.

---------- Post added at 04:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:52 PM ----------

Plus it's funny.
 
I sit down, take my time to do the job, don't stand up to wipe and then do a little sideways jump to the bidet. Oh, the cleanlyness!
 
Now, how do you dry after the bidet?
Curiously, I do so standing up... very carefully so not to wet my pants* with the possible water that could run down my legs. I guess it's probably because, if not, the little bidet towel would get all wet from touching the actual bidet.

*or the floor. I actually like to take off my pants and underpants when I'm on the loo at home. Wich is where I have a bidet.
 
C

Chazwozel

When I was in the army, I learned the art of holding it in. Mainly because at times it was too cold and dark to go shitting in the woods when we were on bivouac. If you've ever been camping during the winter on a moonless night, you get the idea. Also, our cadets were well-known for waiting for the most inopportune moment possible to start exercises.

At one time, I held it in for three days - and almost frickin' broke the toilet once we were back to barracks.

I go hunting for turkey occasionally, and never had trouble shitting in the woods even if it was -10 below. Hell, a moonless night might make things easier since no one will see you. When I played football and hockey in high school and college I'd take a big smoking shit right before practice so the urge wouldn't pop in mid-wind sprints or up-downs. Hell, I take a big shit right before any hockey practice/game I have now. Nothing's worse than doing butterflies if you have to take a shit (except maybe running).
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

My point is, when not much is coming in as going out, there's a missing part of an equation there don't you think?
It also baffles my husband that I don't take much time when I go. I'm in and out of the bathroom in about 5 minutes.
 

North_Ranger

Staff member
When I was in the army, I learned the art of holding it in. Mainly because at times it was too cold and dark to go shitting in the woods when we were on bivouac. If you've ever been camping during the winter on a moonless night, you get the idea. Also, our cadets were well-known for waiting for the most inopportune moment possible to start exercises.

At one time, I held it in for three days - and almost frickin' broke the toilet once we were back to barracks.

I go hunting for turkey occasionally, and never had trouble shitting in the woods even if it was -10 below. Hell, a moonless night might make things easier since no one will see you. When I played football and hockey in high school and college I'd take a big smoking shit right before practice so the urge wouldn't pop in mid-wind sprints or up-downs. Hell, I take a big shit right before any hockey practice/game I have now. Nothing's worse than doing butterflies if you have to take a shit (except maybe running).[/QUOTE]

Please remember that when you're turkey hunting, you're not exactly expecting to be rushed at a moment's notice.

Second of all, trying to have a crap while on bivouac is something of a maneuver, what with the fact that every moment you're IN FULL COMBAT GEAR. You don't take those off in a jiffy - and you pretty much have to if you want to reach your belt and pull your trousers down.
 
O

Occasional Poster

I wipe sitting down. Easy and comfortable.

I have enough experience shitting in the woods to know that it is much preferable to go to the bathroom outdoors in the winter. A little cold doesn't hurt, but mosquitos can be a literal pain in the ass.

Now why am I discussing this on a public forum? :eyeroll:
 
R

RocketGirl

I'd...never even considered the idea of standing until this thread. *boggle*
 
I'm confused on the bidet front. Never having considered it but it makes sense one would have to dry after that. So... are these public towels? Are bidets usually an at home experience or would one find them at say, a nice restaurant or a mall? what then?
 
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