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OK, so Brian's birthday is THIS SUNDAY and because of money, moving, work, etc. I still haven't come up with something to get him. He knows our situation right now and has told me over and over that I don't and SHOULDN'T have to get him anything. This is unacceptable because he got me Beatles Rockband for my birthday in September.

What would you get someone who is a WoW, FFXIII, Dresden Files, and anime fan? I don't have enough money to go out and buy box sets of stuff, I just want a meaningful simple thing to give him until I have the funds to get him what he deserves. Think along the lines of "macaroni necklace" and "sex coupons" without it being those things.

give him your love.

...but what if my love is like a sauteed mongoose?

Macaroni sex.

But serious, I'd say make him something if you really feel like you need to give him something material. Otherwise Charlie's got the idea. It could be as simple as a nice meal comprised of some favorite foods, or just a day for the two of you with no interruptions.

We're moving tomorrow and unpacking on his birthday... So, if all else fails, I can say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU'RE LIVING IN A HOUSE" right?

I jest. I'll work my mojo and find something nice to do. Keep the suggs cummin. Wait....

Dress up like an anime character and sing the birthday song while stripping.

I don't know, you didn't give us a lot to go on here.

That was kinda the point... I don't have much to go on either. Well, not until I get monie$.

hmm...does he have a favorite macaroni recipe you can make him? If not.. uhh, well there's Hamburger Helper Cheesy Hashbrowns... it's meat, it's cheese sauce, it's good... other than that ..umm.. bacon bra?

Hahahahahaha

I may be reading too much into your description, and I don't know the guy, but if finances are rough and he's repeatedly asked you not to get him a gift, he might feel more than a little guilty about anything that obviously requires a dip into the wallet if he's like any of the dudes I know (including me).

I basically agree with Charlie and CK. Something "smaller" that affirms how you feel or reminds him of a particularly good memory about the two of you would be the way to go, IMO. Something also that you don't do for him that often works well.

Nice personally-prepared favorite meals that cost little but take a while to make are big favorites of mine. As are post-feast snuggles. Not that you're restricted to only snuggles, but he may not be able to move after dinner if you make him his favorite.

Vytamindi said:

That was kinda the point... I don't have much to go on either. Well, not until I get monie$.

Click to expand...

Well, I'm hoping you know him better than we do...

4 words for a gift to get your man who's into WoW:

Female Night Elf dance.

Breakfast in bed, Pamper his ass for a day. Have his favorite meal ready, be naked or in a fetish costume all day, and start his day off with a blowjob.

Cooking chicken fried steak and mashed taters, then. He is only happy if he feels his arteries beginning to burst after that meal.

LB: I meant I don't have much to go on as far as money is concerned. I have a bunch of great ideas for when I have the cash, but unfortunately that won't be until after Sunday, so I'm asking for little ways that guys like to be reminded that they're special. Since most of you are guys, I am, of course, getting a lot of great ideas

---------- Post added at 11:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:04 PM ----------

Dave said:

4 words for a gift to get your man who's into WoW:

Female Night Elf dance.

Click to expand...

Fuck you. We're Horde. *practices electric slide.... the SEXY electric slide* Who am I kidding... I don't dance!

Andromache said:

Breakfast in bed, Pamper his ass for a day. Have his favorite meal ready, be naked or in a fetish costume all day, and start his day off with a blowjob.

Click to expand...

Those are good ideas, too!

WAKE him with a blow job, and THEN breakfast in bed. Hell yeah, you could be swimming in money and that would still be the best present ever.

me and my wife are about totally broke. but what I did for her birthday was talked my mom into watching the kids (and snuck her my apartment key at the same time) and took my wife to the movies. While we were gone a pot roast with all the fixins some wine a rose and all were on the table when we got back it was awesome. Maybe you should try something like that?

Bake a plate of cookies, label them "tracker snacks". Place them on your living room table where he'll see it.

Next to that, have a pie shaped like the WoW mini-map with the floorplan of your place as the map, and a red and yellow tracking token where your bedroom is.

Next to the pie, have a shopped image print-out looking like a quest dialog with the quest objective: "0/1 Unwrap your present"

Wait in the bedroom dressed like a blood elf.

After he completes his quest, remind him the quest is repeatable, if you like (hint: he doesn't need the map anymore).

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!

*takes notes*

Dang, Tekeo.

I will admit, I am projecting a little bit, as I also don't want friends/girlfriends getting me expensive gifts.

I am also a big fan of both WoW and pie.

EDIT: It occurs to me that cake would work much better, but more than a few variations are possible, I'm sure.

Oh, yeah, that was 'dang, Tekeo' as in "Dang Tekeo, those are some damn good ideas."

And who doesn't love pie?

Cajungal said:

And who doesn't love pie?

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Communists, probably.

Also, TeKeo should totally go into the romantic advice biz. He needs to make monies off that shit.

Cajungal said:

And who doesn't love pie?

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I don't know anyone who doesn't love pie, but I once took part in an 30-min 4-way discussion on the general merits of pie vs cake. It got to ludicrous subway vs quisnos levels before the host pre-empted it by serving fresh brownies.

Philosopher B.;368998][QUOTE=Cajungal said:

And who doesn't love pie?

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Communists, probably.

Also, TeKeo should totally go into the romantic advice biz. He needs to make monies off that shit.[/QUOTE]

HAH, I almost said BOTH of those things! Great minds, Philly B, great minds...

i love pie. The cake is a lie.

But this cake is great - it's so delicious and moist.

Steak & a blow job?

Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?

Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's not as common as intercourse in general, but it also differs per couple.

escushion;369150][QUOTE=Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's not as common as intercourse in general, but it also differs per couple.[/QUOTE]

That's just it, if it were uncommon? Sure. But the way it's "heralded" is as if she grants him a special gift once per solar cycle and he's so enthralled by the rarity of the occassion he gives entire fortunes and gifts in exchange.

Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's my impression that straight women, especially married ones, aren't supposed to like giving head and don't do it often. If you do enjoy performing oral sex on your husband/boyfriend, then you're (a) being adventurous like they tell you to be in Cosmo or (b) you're a dirty whore. Personally, I like doing it and hate Cosmo.

Shegokigo;369151][QUOTE=escushion;369150][QUOTE=Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's not as common as intercourse in general, but it also differs per couple.[/QUOTE]

That's just it, if it were uncommon? Sure. But the way it's "heralded" is as if she grants him a special gift once per solar cycle and he's so enthralled by the rarity of the occassion he gives entire fortunes and gifts in exchange.[/QUOTE]

Some guys are stupid.

Wildsoul;369154][QUOTE=Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's my impression that straight women, especially married ones, aren't supposed to like giving head and don't do it often. If you do enjoy performing oral sex on your husband/boyfriend, then you're (a) being adventurous like they tell you to be in Cosmo or (b) you're a dirty whore. Personally, I like doing it and hate Cosmo.[/QUOTE]

That's exactly right. It seems like any time a woman does it it must be because she is so grateful for something or is rewarding the guy like he is some kind of pet. It can't be because she actually enjoys it. I'm not sure what the source of that in popular culture is because it doesn't really play out in reality.

Shegokigo;369151][QUOTE=escushion;369150][QUOTE=Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's not as common as intercourse in general, but it also differs per couple.[/QUOTE]

That's just it, if it were uncommon? Sure. But the way it's "heralded" is as if she grants him a special gift once per solar cycle and he's so enthralled by the rarity of the occassion he gives entire fortunes and gifts in exchange.[/QUOTE]


LOL.
yes apparently girls sucking dick is rare (you whores!) depending on the generation and people involved. If a guy only gets a rare one from her, he's surfin craigslist to get some dude to blow him.
Ladies, if he's golfing every day and his game isn't improving.... just saying... (and i'm joking too settle down)

Vyta -

Well... my guy doesn't really like oral... he's extremely ticklish and one of his exes used to use her teeth... so every time we try, he jumps and asks me to stop....

DAMN! And I LOVE giving it too!

Sexy thread.

They used to have Cosmo at our breakroom at the place where I used to work for summers. It was a telemarketing firm, and Cosmo was one of the magazines we sold.

One time, I started berating the "101 Hottest Sex Tips", particularly the one where the guy is supposed to stick his dick through a hole in a donut.

Next month, we no longer had Cosmo.

The old joke used to be that there were two things a man could never get from his wife: Eggs Benedict and a Blowjob. Times have changed, and the mindset that it was something "proper" women didn't do is thankfully fading.

Vytamindi said:

Well... my guy doesn't really like oral... he's extremely ticklish and one of his exes used to use her teeth... so every time we try, he jumps and asks me to stop....

DAMN! And I LOVE giving it too!

Click to expand...

Probably not the case but maybe "You're doing it wrong?".

Vytamindi said:

Well... my guy doesn't really like oral... he's extremely ticklish and one of his exes used to use her teeth... so every time we try, he jumps and asks me to stop....

DAMN! And I LOVE giving it too!

Click to expand...

Your gift to him should be breaking him of this aversion.

What's with all this talk of blowjobs?

Make your man a god damn scrapbook!

Amirite??

SCRAPBOOKS, FUCK YEAHHHH!

Lol, I was thinking that he is Davan from Something Positive.



Poor Guy.

Ravenpoe;369188][QUOTE=Vytamindi said:

Well... my guy doesn't really like oral... he's extremely ticklish and one of his exes used to use her teeth... so every time we try, he jumps and asks me to stop....

DAMN! And I LOVE giving it too!

Click to expand...

Your gift to him should be breaking him of this aversion.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, just tie him down and make him like it.

Shegokigo;369185][QUOTE=Vytamindi said:

Well... my guy doesn't really like oral... he's extremely ticklish and one of his exes used to use her teeth... so every time we try, he jumps and asks me to stop....

DAMN! And I LOVE giving it too!

Click to expand...

Probably not the case but maybe "You're doing it wrong?".[/QUOTE]

The only way to know for sure is to have a neutral third party judge

Wildsoul;369154][QUOTE=Shegokigo;369148][QUOTE=Wildsoul said:

Steak & a blow job?

Click to expand...

Wrong holiday, but here's a question that's always taken me a while to understand:

Is oral sex in a straight relationship so rare, it has it's own holiday? I mean, everytime I hear about how a woman gets something extrodinary from her boyfriend/husband, it's always like "Oh she must have given him head for that". I mean, really?[/QUOTE]

It's my impression that straight women, especially married ones, aren't supposed to like giving head and don't do it often. If you do enjoy performing oral sex on your husband/boyfriend, then you're (a) being adventurous like they tell you to be in Cosmo or (b) you're a dirty whore. Personally, I like doing it and hate Cosmo.[/QUOTE]

DITTO!!!!

I am QUITE sure I'm doing it ok! But you can never have too many judges....

I wish I was better at cunnilingus. I don't get a lot of opportunities, but it'd be nice to be able to really curl her toes. I think part of the problem is that I breath a lot through my mouth, and I know one of my ex's was very tickled by the warm air wafting over her bits.

At least you want to improve. I know this guy... his poor wife never gets it. They've been together (including non-married time) for about 10 years and he's never been able to bring himself to do it. It makes me feel bad for her, because apparently he won't even kiss her below her stomach. He just won't do it. Sad.

That strikes me as absurd. Who wouldn't want to try and please their partner? There's nothing gross about it as long as she's got adequate hygiene (ie that story I mentioned in the other thread) and it's not a red letter day...

I'm 100% with you, LB ol' buddy, but there are some guys who DO find it gross, for some reason I'll never understand. Just as there are girls who HATE to give head, there are guys who are DISGUSTED by the thought of their mouths on a vagina.

It's absurd to me too, why would they be ok with sticking their penis in but not their tongue? There are lots of places I'd stick my mouth in but NEVER the lil' sergeant, y'know? Weirdos.

Still sexy.

Lying Bastard said:

I wish I was better at cunnilingus. I don't get a lot of opportunities, but it'd be nice to be able to really curl her toes. I think part of the problem is that I breath a lot through my mouth, and I know one of my ex's was very tickled by the warm air wafting over her bits.

Click to expand...

Same here. I mean, I actually ENJOY cunnilingus. Call me weird, but I love pleasing my partner, making her whimper with pleasure with my lips, tongue, fingers... and like you said, breath. The Psycho, for instance. Like I've said, sex was probably the only thing we both enjoyed in the end, and at times she was hyper-orgasmic. I mean, if we'd been teasing and fooling around for a while, she might come just from me blowing softly at one of her erogenous zones. Not just the bits, but the back of the neck, the small of the elbow... those places.

So....How'd it go? What did you do and how did he take it?

Heeheeeheee.

(LB, it strikes me as absurd, too. Funny thing is, back before I'd had sex, she would brag to me about her exploits. Now I'm with a very adventurous guy and she's out of stories. )

Lying Bastard said:

I wish I was better at cunnilingus. I don't get a lot of opportunities, but it'd be nice to be able to really curl her toes. I think part of the problem is that I breath a lot through my mouth, and I know one of my ex's was very tickled by the warm air wafting over her bits.

Click to expand...

Learn to play the tinwhistle.

It teaches you all kinds of tongue and finger coordination

Tinwhistler;369420][QUOTE=Lying Bastard said:

I wish I was better at cunnilingus. I don't get a lot of opportunities, but it'd be nice to be able to really curl her toes. I think part of the problem is that I breath a lot through my mouth, and I know one of my ex's was very tickled by the warm air wafting over her bits.

Click to expand...

Learn to play the tinwhistle.

It teaches you all kinds of tongue and finger coordination [/QUOTE]

I'll give that a shot. Or at least start playing the flute again - I was in band from 3rd grade until I graduated high school. (yes, I was in marching band. No, I will not be posting pictures.)

Cajungal said:

At least you want to improve. I know this guy... his poor wife never gets it. They've been together (including non-married time) for about 10 years and he's never been able to bring himself to do it. It makes me feel bad for her, because apparently he won't even kiss her below her stomach. He just won't do it. Sad.

Click to expand...

I would file for divorce. And yes I am serious.

I'm hoping you'd find out if you were sexually compatible or not BEFORE the wedding?

Oh man, how effed up would it be if your partner was fine with oral sex when you dated but decided not to like it after the wedding. Dayumn, another reason to be scared of marriage aranoid:

Yeah, I understand the ideal of waiting until marriage, but after you've committed your life to someone legally and publically would be a terrible way to find out that you don't click sexually at all.

Heh, reminds me, on the Graham Norton show there was a singer doing a song about a relationship where her partner was wonderful in all aspects, except the sex was rubbish. I wish I could recall her name.

I'm one of those weird individuals who doesn't really get off on oral. *shrugs* I've had it applied with both skill and vigor, and never let it be said that my wife didn't go out of her way to try and "improve" (she really doesn't need to); just quirked weird that way, I guess.

On the flip-side, however, I LOVE making her make interesting noises - all the more so because she used to be too shy to make them. *grins*

Also...

Dave said:

So....How'd it go? What did you do and how did he take it?

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Seconded.

Lying Bastard;369428][QUOTE=Tinwhistler;369420][QUOTE=Lying Bastard said:

I wish I was better at cunnilingus. I don't get a lot of opportunities, but it'd be nice to be able to really curl her toes. I think part of the problem is that I breath a lot through my mouth, and I know one of my ex's was very tickled by the warm air wafting over her bits.

Click to expand...

Learn to play the tinwhistle.

It teaches you all kinds of tongue and finger coordination [/QUOTE]

I'll give that a shot. Or at least start playing the flute again - I was in band from 3rd grade until I graduated high school. (yes, I was in marching band. No, I will not be posting pictures.)[/QUOTE]

I played the trombone. My wife gets pissed when I give her raspberries while trying to put her leg into the 4th slide position.




You should see me emptying the spit valve...

TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?

The Mex said:

TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?

Click to expand...

I thought he was talking about Mrs. Dave...

Vytamindi said:

Well... my guy doesn't really like oral... he's extremely ticklish and one of his exes used to use her teeth... so every time we try, he jumps and asks me to stop....

DAMN! And I LOVE giving it too!

Click to expand...

*pecks his penis against the screen furiously*

No really, I don't care if I'm late but wow. :O

sixpackshaker;369488][QUOTE=The Mex said:

TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?

Click to expand...

I thought he was talking about Mrs. Dave...[/QUOTE]



Yeah, but I was more shocked at the fact that trombones have an actual valve that was designed to hold spit than what that would be a euphemism for sexually. The sex stuff I know, the disgusting valve filled with years of spit I don't. baaaaahhhg

The Mex;369501][QUOTE=sixpackshaker;369488][QUOTE=The Mex said:

TROMBONES HAVE SPIT VALVES!?

Click to expand...

I thought he was talking about Mrs. Dave...[/QUOTE]



Yeah, but I was more shocked at the fact that trombones have an actual valve that was designed to hold spit than what that would be a euphemism for sexually. The sex stuff I know, the disgusting valve filled with years of spit I don't. baaaaahhhg[/QUOTE]

As you play most brass instruments, spit accumulates inside somewhere. So most brass instruments have valves designed specifically to drain the spittle from the thing. On the trombone it's near the bottom rounded end of the slide.



---------- Post added at 12:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 PM ----------

Oh, and you can't play too long without emptying the spit or the sound you make will sound like you are blowing bubbles. So there is no "years of accumulation".

This thread was kind of awesome but then it got gross. Thanks a lot Dave!

Yes, it's all Dave's fault. Gross old man.

Man speaking of grossness and spit valves... I spent one semester watching a high school band/choir teacher for education. After watching all the spit valves get emptied onto the carpet for the band class, I got to watch the choir kids come in and lie down on it contently... none the wiser. MWAHAHA!

..... I want my mommy.

Somebody hold me

.... I was in Chorus in my Stateside high school... *eyebrow twitch*

BAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA! More like Officer Saliva-back! *runs off to spread more lame jokes*

Cajungal said:

BAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA! More like Officer Saliva-back! *runs off to spread more lame jokes*

Click to expand...

*ahem* In a totally lame segue to this, as a homonymical pun, one of my sergeants brought up the point about crooks still being scared of K-9s when they're not scared of anything that a human officer could bring to the party. He posited that what if officers could train OTHER animals to act as their backup. Then he mentioned that "Yeah, they'll be running, but the look of 'WTF?' on their faces when they seen me charging up, baton in hand, riding a Silverback keeps me warm at night."

This is the same sergeant who punched out a Suburban when it almost ran him over (not even kidding). He broke his arm, but it was worth it to see him do it.


.... Segued enough, I hope?

Dave said:

I played the trombone. My wife gets pissed when I give her raspberries while trying to put her leg into the 4th slide position.


You should see me emptying the spit valve...

Click to expand...

My ex-wife played the trombone in college. The skill set acquired is probably more applicable to fellatio, old chum

Oh Dave knows that man. He knoooooows

I thought you guys would appreciate this exchange between my wife and I in Yahoo IM today.

knihsen (4/12/2010 1:59:28 PM): please let me know what our $ situation is. we forgot something. my meds. Don't cuss.... maybe we can do 1/2 a scripts til we get paid again.
edrondol (4/12/2010 1:59:55 PM): I won't curse. Are you out?
knihsen (4/12/2010 2:02:18 PM): yes, after tonight.
knihsen (4/12/2010 2:02:30 PM): I didn't want to say anything last night.
knihsen (4/12/2010 2:02:48 PM): ruin the mood.....
edrondol (4/12/2010 2:04:02 PM):
edrondol (4/12/2010 2:04:11 PM): I love you but tonight Dave must sleep.
knihsen (4/12/2010 2:05:46 PM): FINE.
edrondol (4/12/2010 2:06:11 PM): You're gonna take advantage of me aren't you?
knihsen (4/12/2010 2:08:17 PM): god willing.
knihsen (4/12/2010 2:08:38 PM): or should I say.... gravity willing?
edrondol (4/12/2010 2:08:46 PM): Ouch.

Click to expand...

Dave, your wife's awesome. Relay that to her

FIRST OF ALL: The actual "spit valve" is actually called a water key. Blow on a mirror. What happens? It fogs up! Is that spit? Nope! Imagine playing and buzzing your hot air into a perpetually cold, metal instrument. That fog collects and begins to bead down the slide. If you don't empty it, it'll sound like a flushing toilet. So, it's not really spit coming out of there, but condensation that has been marinating in the metals of the instrument. It tastes NASTY (...cold marching parade... we snapped our horns up and it all went gushing down my neck/in my mouth... ugh), but isn't really spit. IMHO, it's worse because if your slide has mold (as this isn't unusual for instruments that aren't washed too often), that can break off into the condensation as well. We brass players just tell all our pansy-ass woodwind friends that it's spit to freak them out!

THE MORE YOU KNOW. As you can see, I love being an instrument know-it-all!

Birthday update: We spent the whole day rebuilding our life from moving on Saturday... damn did that test our relationship lol. No AM BJ because he passed out Saturday night while I was in the shower and he didn't take a shower...

No presents, no cake... took him out to dinner... what a horrible weekend... hopefully I can make this up to him as I feel really bad about it. There was nothing either of us could do as we HAD to move this weekend. I apologized profusely (while crying) last night that his birthday sucked, and he assured me that he was ok. Once we unpack, I will throw him a surprise one at the house. I AM DESTINED TO MAKE THIS UP TO HIM.

SOME spit must also be in that condensed water, think about it, you're blowing into it all day long... spit is bound to accumulate too.

Vytamindi said:

FIRST OF ALL: The actual "spit valve" is actually called a water key. Blow on a mirror. What happens? It fogs up! Is that spit? Nope! Imagine playing and buzzing your hot air into a perpetually cold, metal instrument. That fog collects and begins to bead down the slide. If you don't empty it, it'll sound like a flushing toilet. So, it's not really spit coming out of there, but condensation that has been marinating in the metals of the instrument. It tastes NASTY (...cold marching parade... we snapped our horns up and it all went gushing down my neck/in my mouth... ugh), but isn't really spit. IMHO, it's worse because if your slide has mold (as this isn't unusual for instruments that aren't washed too often), that can break off into the condensation as well. We brass players just tell all our pansy-ass woodwind friends that it's spit to freak them out!

THE MORE YOU KNOW. As you can see, I love being an instrument know-it-all!

Click to expand...

Bah, we saxophone players didn't have a spit valves*. We just sucked whatever accumulated in our mouthpieces and necks right back into our mouths!

*Except the bari sax players. They had spit valves.

Baerdog;369739][QUOTE=Vytamindi said:

FIRST OF ALL: The actual "spit valve" is actually called a water key. Blow on a mirror. What happens? It fogs up! Is that spit? Nope! Imagine playing and buzzing your hot air into a perpetually cold, metal instrument. That fog collects and begins to bead down the slide. If you don't empty it, it'll sound like a flushing toilet. So, it's not really spit coming out of there, but condensation that has been marinating in the metals of the instrument. It tastes NASTY (...cold marching parade... we snapped our horns up and it all went gushing down my neck/in my mouth... ugh), but isn't really spit. IMHO, it's worse because if your slide has mold (as this isn't unusual for instruments that aren't washed too often), that can break off into the condensation as well. We brass players just tell all our pansy-ass woodwind friends that it's spit to freak them out!

THE MORE YOU KNOW. As you can see, I love being an instrument know-it-all!

Click to expand...

Bah, we saxophone players didn't have a spit valves*. We just sucked whatever accumulated in our mouthpieces and necks right back into our mouths!

*Except the bari sax players. They had spit valves.[/QUOTE]

Fuck yeah we did. Kings of the woodwinds. :toocool:

Saxophones represent!

CynicismKills;369743][QUOTE=Baerdog said:

*Except the bari sax players. They had spit valves.

Click to expand...

Fuck yeah we did. Kings of the woodwinds. :toocool:[/QUOTE]

Man, I miss playing Bari Sax!

* Oh, and eating a girl out too. I swear, I would go to town like a starving Ethiopian kid at an all-you-can-eat buffet! Nothing's more of a turn-on than doing that for a girl while she grabs the back of your head and moans.

Cheesy1 said:

* Oh, and eating a girl out too. I swear, I would go to town like a starving Ethiopian kid at an all-you-can-eat buffet! Nothing's more of a turn-on than doing that for a girl while she grabs the back of your head and moans.

Click to expand...

EXCEPT making her come so hard her whole body shivers like she's having a seizure, her moans rising in pitch until her voice fails her and she lies there, shivering under your tongue, her mouth open in a voiceless scream.

What?

*goes to video chat with the fella*

And to think, some women don't want it. I watched a sex ed video where someone suggested that some women feel their only form of control in life is whether they have pleasure or not, and so to exert more control, they deny themselves that pleasure... It sounds like BS, but then, what explanation is there?

Maybe some guys use teeth or the girl is ticklish.

Again, what?

A friend of mine doesn't like it because she is super sensitive and instead of being pleasurable it is just uncomfortable. She doesn't care though because due to the sensitivity she climaxes easily from other, less direct, stimulation.

Thinkin' of getting one of those Hitachi Magic Wands.... a present for both of us will be my justification.

Vytamindi said:

Thinkin' of getting one of those Hitachi Magic Wands.... a present for both of us will be my justification.

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I want one too! They are just kind of pricey. Probably worth it.. call it an investment.

Adam & Eve is where I usually buy my stuff from, and they have their own version that is cheaper. Reading the reviews, it's apparently better to invest in the actual Hitachi because it can last about 7 years with daily use. I also want it because I have the knots that form in my shoulders and this is also supposed to be the BEST thing to get that out!

I shop here Good Vibes. The service is good and I like the company. They have the hitachi.

Awwwwww, and it looks like a lil' microphone! So you can sing "Lovin' you" and then make yourself hit the high note.

Cajungal said:

Awwwwww, and it looks like a lil' microphone! So you can sing "Lovin' you" and then make yourself hit the high note.

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You are too cool... will you be my Annie Pots to my Dixie Carter (R.I.P.)?

I love that show.

I know nothing about that show, but I'm more than happy to be your partner in crime. I don't have to wear shoulder pads, do I?

and now I have Lovin You in my head.

Goddamn it >.<

Mwahaha, you're welcome.

---------- Post added at 10:01 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:01 PM ----------

Man now I'll forever be thinking dirty thoughts on karaoke night.

Dirty Karaoke Night.


I'd go to that >.>.

Vytamindi;369891][QUOTE=Cajungal said:

Awwwwww, and it looks like a lil' microphone! So you can sing "Lovin' you" and then make yourself hit the high note.

Click to expand...

You are too cool... will you be my Annie Pots to my Dixie Carter (R.I.P.)?[/QUOTE]

Just cover your Dixie before you go getting it all over her Pots. Nobody wants to clean up your mess.

Oh... my GOD! What respectable southern woman hasn't seen Designing Women??? It's like a Southern, yet slightly younger Golden Girls!!!

hehe you should make a thread just about those two shows. I could squee for hours.

makare1 said:

A friend of mine doesn't like it because she is super sensitive and instead of being pleasurable it is just uncomfortable. She doesn't care though because due to the sensitivity she climaxes easily from other, less direct, stimulation.

Click to expand...

I've tried to explain this to people about why I don't like vibrators. It almost hurts. You'd think I have some odd affliction from the looks I get when I say they're too much for me.

Vytamindi said:

Thinkin' of getting one of those Hitachi Magic Wands.... a present for both of us will be my justification.

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You want an eroscillator. Trust me on this.

*looks up*

.... JEEZ. For when you want to get medieval on your ladyparts?

The magic wand is nice because it isn't as localized a vibration.

Ladies......... the eroscillator is a gift from GOD! Every woman should have one. There are so many different attachments to choose from that it will most certainly suit any need. Also, you can use it on your guy as well. (right on the underside of the penis) OMG!!

I implore you ladies check it out! It's so worth the money!

ummmm...I'll be in my bunk

This thread has taken an interesting turn.

Obligatory

Oh. My. God.

*saves money*

---------- Post added at 04:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:19 PM ----------

"That looks like a steampunk, Tesla, lightning generator" -Brian

Oh it'll make sparks alright...