Honestly, the 'confession' shouldn't even necessarily be required. As long as you aren't "floating hand guy" your intentions shouldn't be all that hard to read. When your hanging out with these girls you like, how do you interact with them? When I was younger I'd pine over girls I'd like for months, and of course, I'd never be with them, because even If I worked up the courage to talk to them, I'd be too shy to do anything about it. It wasn't until I realized that not every girl I like is going to like me back and hey, that's fine, did I finally get over it.My past attempts have been to start off friendly, asking something like "Hey, do you want to do [insert planned activity] with me this weekend?" make it no big deal, no "first date" pressure, just hanging out, then confess attraction after hanging out a few times when we know each other better.
See https://www.google.com/search?q=how+I+feel+when+texting+a+girl+I+likeSend her a text. "When can I tap that?"
I'd like to point out that if this happens, then 99x out of 100 that's as far as it'll ever go.I'd also like to point out that some girls like to start out as friends,
In winter, he may have to drop several trou.Half way through drinks, drop trou and ask "how 'bout it?"
Girls like when you're direct.
First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.
This is amazing advice. Why didn't someone mention it sooner?Simple. You drop trou and ask, "So, how about it?"
Oops, didn't see. Also, that's totally my line and you stole it.This is amazing advice. Why didn't someone mention it sooner?
I'd like to point out that if this happens, then 99x out of 100 that's as far as it'll ever go.
Purely from personal experience, several of my female friends ended up getting into romantic entanglements with me. Now, I emphasize this is just my own experience. It's quite possible that the boundary between the friend zone and the not-friend zone is more clearly defined than my experience would suggest. But still, I'd say starting out as friends isn't the death sentence a lot of people make it out to be.I'd say that starting off by approaching it as a friendship is probably a mistake. Really, though it is not always the case, if you don't make it clear that you're romantically interested, you'll be placed firmly in the friend zone.
Agreed. Once you're platonic friend, it literally takes a massive change in how they see you as a person to make you more than that.I'd say that starting off by approaching it as a friendship is probably a mistake. Really, though it is not always the case, if you don't make it clear that you're romantically interested, you'll be placed firmly in the friend zone.
It depends on the kind of friendship.Purely from personal experience, several of my female friends ended up getting into romantic entanglements with me.
well, if a threesome is a requirement and you are really into swinging I would say you should be upfront and honest with your partners about what you want instead of hiding your desire.bhamv3 - You do realize you're in the massive minority of that actually being the way it works correct? Not exactly sound -general- advice for most others.
That'd be like me saying, I dated this one girl that was totally open to threesomes so you should try that in every relationship.
Not even remotely near the point I was making and just about as different a conversation as possibly could be had on the subject.well, if a threesome is a requirement and you are really into swinging I would say you should be upfront and honest with your partners about what you want instead of hiding your desire.
lies hurt everyone, including yourself.
Yep, which is why I'm emphasizing it's my personal experience. Relationships that start from platonic friendship can and do happen. But most people are skeptical about it. With good reason, generally.bhamv3 - You do realize you're in the massive minority of that actually being the way it works correct? Not exactly sound -general- advice for most others.
That'd be like me saying, I dated this one girl that was totally open to threesomes so you should try that in every relationship.
Still not solid advice for someone who's never even asked someone out.Yep, which is why I'm emphasizing it's my personal experience. Relationships that start from platonic friendship can and do happen. But most people are skeptical about it. With good reason, generally.
I'm just saying be yourself, because that's all you will ever be.Not even remotely near the point I was making and just about as different a conversation as possibly could be had on the subject.
There's general advice that's found to be best in most situations, which is what would be best in this one.All advice on this topic will be anecdotal; there's no scientific way to approach this girl with a surefire strategy.
Be yourself yes. Better similes no.I'm just saying be yourself, because that's all you will ever be.
I was also trying to say, 'work on your similes.'
you're really trying to drive home that you had a threesome arn't you?There's general advice that's found to be best in most situations, which is what would be best in this one.
Again, just because I had threesomes with one girl, doesn't mean I'd offer it as advice for someone new to dating.
Be yourself yes. Better similes no.
I'm driving home that not all personal anecdotal advice is useful.you're really trying to drive home that you had a threesome arn't you?
I agree. If most people say "don't be her friend first" then that's the strategy that has worked for most people.There's general advice that's found to be best in most situations, which is what would be best in this one.
Again, just because I had threesomes with one girl, doesn't mean I'd offer it as advice for someone new to dating.
It's also to be noted, I never said being a friend first doesn't work. It simply is a path that has a very low percentage of success and not best for someone who's barely entering the relationship world. I would hate to see him in the -friend zone- with his first try.I agree. If most people say "don't be her friend first" then that's the strategy that has worked for most people.
And you're making me hungry for a threesome.
I agree with you! That as been my experience too, but it'd be more accurate to say "It simply is a path that has had a very low percentage of success FOR ME". I'm sure it works very often for some people, but I'd agree that they're probably in the minority.It's also to be noted, I never said being a friend first doesn't work. It simply is a path that has a very low percentage of success and not best for someone who's barely entering the relationship world. I would hate to see him in the -friend zone- with his first try.
Definitely true. Once you get over the first ask the rest becomes much easier if you get a -no- and don't take it harshly.I agree with you! That as been my experience too, but it'd be more accurate to say "It simply is a path that has had a very low percentage of success FOR ME". I'm sure it works very often for some people, but I'd agree that they're probably in the minority.
OP, my best advice would be to just ask, without becoming overly friendly first. Just ASKING A GIRL OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME, whether she says yes or no, takes ALL the pressure off for the NEXT girl you ask out. It's a huge relief, in my experience.
Well, not to contradict you, but the friends first route is generally not going to work due to the fact that once someone has you set in one set of schemata in their head, it is EXTREMELY difficult to see them in another paradigm.I agree with you! That as been my experience too, but it'd be more accurate to say "It simply is a path that has had a very low percentage of success FOR ME". I'm sure it works very often for some people, but I'd agree that they're probably in the minority.
OP, my best advice would be to just ask, without becoming overly friendly first. Just ASKING A GIRL OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME, whether she says yes or no, takes ALL the pressure off for the NEXT girl you ask out. It's a huge relief, in my experience.