Search forums

Forums

Export thread

How To Properly Eat a Burger?

Jan 25, 2013#1

North_Ranger

I've been wondering about this for a few months now, ever since me and my folks started visiting restaurants that serve burgers. And I mean proper restaurants, not fast food places. Y'know, places with knives and forks, and food served on plates rather than cardboard boxes.

The thing is, we have different opinions as to what is the proper restaurant-fashion to eat a good burger. My parents essentially lift the top of the bun, and then dissect the rest of the burger with knife and fork. Me, I once heard it is proper to cut the burger in half and eat one of the half at a time by hand.

Any advice?

Jan 25, 2013#2

DarkAudit

Grasp entire burger gently but firmly with both hands.

Raise burger to face.

Seek out a point of entry that will minimize chances of a blowout on the opposite side.

Om nom nom.

Jan 25, 2013#3

Silent Bob

North_Ranger said:
I've been wondering about this for a few months now, ever since me and my folks started visiting restaurants that serve burgers. And I mean proper restaurants, not fast food places. Y'know, places with knives and forks, and food served on plates rather than cardboard boxes.

The thing is, we have different opinions as to what is the proper restaurant-fashion to eat a good burger. My parents essentially lift the top of the bun, and then dissect the rest of the burger with knife and fork. Me, I once heard it is proper to cut the burger in half and eat one of the half at a time by hand.

Any advice?

DarkAudit said:
Grasp entire burger gently but firmly with both hands.

Raise burger to face.

Seek out a point of entry that will minimize chances of a blowout on the opposite side.

Om nom nom.

Yeah, it's fine to eat a burger with your hands at pretty much every restaurant that serves burgers. Super swanky restaurants usually don't serve burgers (I'm talking suit and tie places).

Jan 25, 2013#4

Cajungal

It's a hamburger. Do what you want!

Jan 25, 2013#5

Gusto

Fuck that burger up by any means necessary.

Jan 25, 2013#6

Gilgamesh

A long as at the end of the day it doesn't look like this:

You'll be fine.

Jan 25, 2013#7

Ravenpoe

Cuttong it in half is really only for convenience if it's a large or hard to hold burger. Otherwise, do what everyone else has said, eat it however the fuck you want.

Jan 25, 2013#8

sixpackshaker

I slice my burgers too, if they are too large to fit comfortably in my pie hole. It also cuts down on the fixins blowing out of the back.

Jan 25, 2013#9

strawman

Grasp the burger firmly, with thumb and pinky on the bottom, and three fingers on top. Use pinky and ring fingers to compress the side away from your gaping maw preventing toppings from spilling out. If burger is too large to correctly hold in this manner, place on plate and press firmly with palm until burger size is adjusted. Allow toppings and sauces to spill during this process, do not be timid.

Once the correct hold is achieved, move the forefinger and thumb away from your gaping maw, exposing some of the remaining burger for consumption. Apply moderate pressure with the forefinger and thumb to prevent burger toppings from sliding further into the burger during the next step. Continue to apply pinky and ring finger pressure to prevent topping spillage from the back of the burger.

Place exposed portion of burger between front incisors. Close lips around the burger, then apply sufficient biting force to cut, not rip or tear, but cut through entire burger, bun, toppings and all. While pulling remaining burger and unharmed fingers away from face, close lips and commence chewing. If you are unable to close lips fully, consider adjusting your bite size in subsequent iterations of this process.

Your previous bite has likely created a prominent portion of burger that is more exposed than others. Move your thumb and ring again to further expose this spot, and consume this portion. You may rotate the burger a few degrees each bite, but you should be consuming the burger from one side to the other, not in a rotary manner. Your pinky and ring finger should be constantly guarding nearly the same edge throughout the entire process, until too little remains for them to come into play.

You will find that many prefer to use their dominant hand for this process. This is acceptable, particularly while learning, however experienced burgermeisters use their non dominant hand, which leaves their dominant hand free to consume beverages and the traditional french fries inbetween bites. They keep the burger in hand until it is consumed in order to prevent any loss of toppings during the repositioning process that would be required if they placed the burger back on their plate. This is generally acceptable, as meals containing a burger as the main dish usually consist entirely of food meant to be eaten by hand, however a fork may also be handled with the dominant hand without having to place the burger back on the plate. At no point should a knife be necessary. If you gesticulate while eating, be sure your grip on your burger is sufficient to prevent flinging some or all of it on adjacent patrons.

Particularly large burgers may require two hands, and those with small hands may find two hands more comfortable than the typical singlehanded grip. In this case one hand replaces the function of the pinky and ring fingers, and the other replaces the function of the forefinger and thumb.

It is the rare exception to see someone in the US consume a burger with utensils, but it is not frowned on or offensive. Indeed, many parents cut up burgers into small pieces for very young children who are unable to grasp the burger as normal. It may then be consumed carefully with fingers or using a fork. One may use any method of consuming the burger that feels comfortable to them when using utensils, but they should be aware that it is the combination of ingredients in the proportion as prepared that provides the full flavor of the burger.

Removing a bun, for instance, may also remove some of the sauces present, and certainly increases the meat to bread ratio of successive bites. Some may prefer this, but they should be aware that they are altering the texture and flavor of the food. You may see burgers served in the US with one bun off to the side - this is a convenience so the consumer may alter, apply, or customize toppings before putting the bun back on and consuming the burger as normal. Some advertising also shows burgers with the bun removed in order to showcase the toppings, but again the burger is rarely consumed in this manner.

There is no wrong way to consume an amican style hamburger, but we do hope that these tips improve your future burger eating experiences.

Dig in!

Jan 25, 2013#10

North_Ranger

stienman said:
*snip*

You're a wordy motherfucker, you know that?

Jan 25, 2013#11

Gusto

Open your mouth and put the entire burger in and spend the next 3 minutes choking to death.

Jan 25, 2013#12

phil

Son, what you're eating there is freedom so you eat it however you damn well please.

Jan 25, 2013#13

Charlie Don't Surf

I like burger places (or places that serve burgers) that pre-slice your burgers.

Another burger pro-tip - turn the burger as you eat it, always biting the outside until you are left with the one perfect middle bite.

Jan 25, 2013#14

Gusto

Yes the perfect middle bite is very important.

Jan 25, 2013#15

strawman

North_Ranger said:
You're a wordy motherfucker, you know that?

I had to type that on the iPad, too, so I hope you appreciate it.

But I don't get to say "gaping maw" often enough as it is, so it was worth it.

Jan 25, 2013#16

Jay

Jan 25, 2013#17

strawman

Gusto said:
Yes the perfect middle bite is very important.

If the edges are worse than the middle, the cook needs to be sent to a reeducation camp.

Jan 25, 2013#18

BananaHands

I cut mine in half to contain the mess.

But yeah, I do the black bean thing so my burgers all fall apart anyway. But halving them keeps the condiment splatter to a minimum.

Jan 25, 2013#19

WasabiPoptart

Since you're at a sit down restaurant rather than a fast food place I would say to cut it into pieces you can eat in a few bites, but pick it up with your hands. It would be like any other type of sandwich. There is a chain we like to go to called Islands that has huge burgers. I usually cut mine into quarters so I can comfortably take a bite without the rest of the restaurant seeing where my tonsils used to be.

Jan 25, 2013#20

North_Ranger

Huh.

Y'know, I was certain there was some manner of an etiquette for that. I stand corrected.

Jan 25, 2013#21

Ravenpoe

North_Ranger said:
Huh.

Y'know, I was certain there was some manner of an etiquette for that. I stand corrected.

Places that don't want you stuffing a burger into your face don't serve burgers.

Jan 25, 2013#22

Calleja

Dude that's like asking if there's etiquette for tacos.

If you used a knife and fork to eat tacos, you'd get a machete to the face before you finished.

Even if you were in Taco Bell.

We'd know.

Jan 25, 2013#23

BananaHands

I wish I knew the proper way to eat a taco to not get taco sauce on my crotch.

Jan 25, 2013#24

Calleja

BananaHands said:
I wish I knew the proper way to eat a taco to not get taco sauce on my crotch.

You tilt your head. It's funny cause it's not something we mention a lot, but go to any taco place in Mexico and you'll see EVERYONE tilting their head (think ear almost parallel to the plate) before taking a bite.

Jan 25, 2013#25

BananaHands

Calleja said:
You tilt your head. It's funny cause it's not something we mention a lot, but go to any taco place in Mexico and you'll see EVERYONE tilting their head (think ear almost parallel to the plate) before taking a bite.

Are you messing with me right now or is this legit.

Jan 25, 2013#26

strawman

BananaHands said:
I wish I knew the proper way to eat a taco to not get taco sauce on my crotch.

Grasp one dend of the taco firmly with one hand. Place the other end of the taco into your mouth. Now Hoover out the filling while tipping the other end up. Throw the used carcass on the ground, hopefully loudly shattering it, and demand the barmaid bring another round.

Jan 25, 2013#27

Calleja

BananaHands said:
Are you messing with me right now or is this legit.

I am being 100% serious. Mexicans lift the taco by the tortilla edges (tacos ALWAYS have soft tortillas, or they're not tacos they're tostadas) so the bottom of it is parallel to the plate, and then tilt their head to bite into it without dropping anything. It's weird cause it's something every mexican does but most of us don't realize it until someone points it out.

Jan 25, 2013#28

BananaHands

Calleja said:
I am being 100% serious. Mexicans lift the taco by the tortilla edges (tacos ALWAYS have soft tortillas, or they're not tacos they're tostadas) so the bottom of it is parallel to the plate, and then tilt their head to bite into it without dropping anything. It's weird cause it's something every mexican does but most of us don't realize it until someone points it out.

Well, hot damn. I learned something today.

Jan 25, 2013#29

Calleja

stienman said:
Grasp one dend of the taco firmly with one hand. Place the other end of the taco into your mouth. Now Hoover out the filling while tipping the other end up. Throw the used carcass on the ground, hopefully loudly shattering it, and demand the barmaid bring another round.

Listen buddy, if the carcass shatters it means you're using a spurious "taco shell" and those things are NOT, I repeat, NOT tacos. I will go to WAR over this.

Jan 25, 2013#30

BananaHands

Calleja said:
Listen buddy, if the carcass shatters it means you're using a spurious "taco shell" and those things are NOT, I repeat, NOT tacos. I will go to WAR over this.

Wait, so how do you eat a hard-shelled ta-- ...tostada... because that's what I was referring to.

Jan 25, 2013#31

strawman

Calleja said:
(tacos ALWAYS have soft tortillas, or they're not tacos they're tostadas)

But then they're just unfolded mini burritos![DOUBLEPOST=1359137917][/DOUBLEPOST]Tacos in the US of Freemerica are hard shell by default, soft shell are the exception.

Jan 25, 2013#32

Calleja

stienman said:
But then they're just unfolded mini burritos![DOUBLEPOST=1359137917][/DOUBLEPOST]Tacos in the US of Freemerica are hard shell by default, soft shell are the exception.

Ergo THEY'RE NOT TACOS. Dude, if someone made a burger with hard bread thing that fucking CRACKS when you bite out of it and went around the world calling it a "American Food Burger!" you'd balk too.[DOUBLEPOST=1359138185][/DOUBLEPOST]

BananaHands said:
Wait, so how do you eat a hard-shelled ta-- ...tostada... because that's what I was referring to.

You don't. Tostadas are FLAT... hard tortillas are FLAT. Taco shells are abominations probably made in that shape already, like pringles.

So a tostada you just lift and bite into, no tilting necessary.[DOUBLEPOST=1359138505][/DOUBLEPOST]This is a typical tostada though they come in hundreds of varieties:

You'll notice that's WAY closer to the "taco" you guys created in the US than an actual mexican taco which does NOT have cream and grinded cheese or whatnot:

Jan 25, 2013#33

Gusto

A french fry: how to eat?

Jan 25, 2013#34

MindDetective

Gusto said:
A french fry: how to eat?

First so they don't get cold.

Jan 25, 2013#35

Calleja

With a mixture of ketchup and mustard, never mayo. OR vinegar.

Jan 25, 2013#36

Gusto

MindDetective said:
First so they don't get cold.

Wow I made a joke question and someone gave me the WRONG ANSWER. Or rather the right answer that I can't actually do because I've been conditioned.

Jan 25, 2013#37

Calleja

You.. you wait for the fries to COOL DOWN!?

Jan 25, 2013#38

DarkAudit

Calleja said:
You.. you wait for the fries to COOL DOWN!?

HERESY!!

Jan 25, 2013#39

Gusto

No, I just eat the main first and leave the side(s) for if I have enough room.

I eat hierarchically.

Jan 25, 2013#40

strawman

Gusto said:
A french fry: how to eat?

As a burger topping, between the bacon and the donut.

Jan 25, 2013#41

MindDetective

Gusto said:
No, I just eat the main first and leave the side(s) for if I have enough room.

I eat hierarchically.

I eat one thing at a time as well (no alternating allowed!) but I cannot leave fries to cool down. I guess I typically eat the sides first and then the main course, so opposite order to you.

Jan 25, 2013#42

Gusto

Fries are usually the least important part of my meal and it's not like they get downright cold, they're just not scalding hot anymore. I'd rather eat cold fries (or not) than eat a cold burger or whatever.

Speaking of which, at breakfast restaurants, eggs get eaten first since nothing is worse than cold eggs. I'm usually starving by the time I get my food too, so my eggs are usually gone in like 12 seconds.

Jan 25, 2013#43

Bowielee

I eat my meals in escalating order of how much I like the food. Kind of saving the best for last.

Also, the idea of eating a hamburger with a knife and fork is tantamount to herasy, regardless of how fancy the restraunt is.

Jan 25, 2013#44

WasabiPoptart

Calleja said:
You'll notice that's WAY closer to the "taco" you guys created in the US than an actual mexican taco which does NOT have cream and grinded cheese or whatnot:

OMG I WANT TO FIND A TAQUERIA RIGHT NOW!! There is no place with really good Mexican food here.

Jan 25, 2013#45

BananaHands

Calleja said:
Ergo THEY'RE NOT TACOS. Dude, if someone made a burger with hard bread thing that fucking CRACKS when you bite out of it and went around the world calling it a "American Food Burger!" you'd balk too.

If another country can do something like this with a burger then I'll totally allow it.

Jan 25, 2013#46

Gared

Damn you Calleja! Now I'm going to have to make tacos this weekend. You'd think in a town with hundreds, if not thousands, of Mexican immigrants running around that there'd be at least one decent taqueria; but no, around here all of the Mexican immigrants eat the same food as everyone else if they want a fresh meal... sushi, from the one good sushi place in Kent. We have no tacos, we have no pho, we have no curries, we have no Mediterranean food, we have no pierogies, we have no decent sausages, we have no German food, nothing but crap in a town full of immigrants from all over the world, all of whom should have some local place to get the awesome foods of their motherlands. Kent got fucked.

Jan 25, 2013#47

Chad Sexington

Gared said:
Damn you Calleja! Now I'm going to have to make tacos this weekend. You'd think in a town with hundreds, if not thousands, of Mexican immigrants running around that there'd be at least one decent taqueria; but no, around here all of the Mexican immigrants eat the same food as everyone else if they want a fresh meal... sushi, from the one good sushi place in Kent. We have no tacos, we have no pho, we have no curries, we have no Mediterranean food, we have no pierogies, we have no decent sausages, we have no German food, nothing but crap in a town full of immigrants from all over the world, all of whom should have some local place to get the awesome foods of their motherlands. Kent got fucked.

What is the weather like in Kent? I will open a restaurant in Kent. I will make a killing. But only if the winter is mild or nonexistent.

Jan 25, 2013#48

Gared

Chad Sexington said:
What is the weather like in Kent? I will open a restaurant in Kent. I will make a killing. But only if the winter is mild or nonexistent.

So far this year our most strenuous winter weather was six straight days of fog with minor overnight freezing, and we're not expected to see any snowfall events this year. Last year we did have freezing rain, though.[DOUBLEPOST=1359142374][/DOUBLEPOST]And, I mean, we do have restaurants that serve that litany of ethnic foods that I listed out... it's just that they ALL suck.

Jan 25, 2013#49

Calleja

BananaHands said:
If another country can do something like this with a burger then I'll totally allow it.

BUT THEN DON'T CALL IT TACO! Call it an "mexican shell" or something... would you like it if the spurious hard-bread burger began being MORE WELL KNOWN than the original one? Think about it. Thanks to taco bell and such (do NOT attempt to tell me Bell had nothing to do with the widespread of the "taco shell") the fucking imitation with yellow cheese (NOTHING in Mexico EVER uses that godawful cheese-like product) is what most people in the world picture when they see the word "taco". I'm sorry, you can enjoy your awful shell as much as you like, but the minute it starts trying to supersede the ORIGINAL taco, which is every day now, I'll jump at it's fucking THROAT AND KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Jan 25, 2013#50

Dave

Calleja said:
Ergo THEY'RE NOT TACOS. Dude, if someone made a burger with hard bread thing that fucking CRACKS when you bite out of it and went around the world calling it a "American Food Burger!" you'd balk too.[DOUBLEPOST=1359138185][/DOUBLEPOST]

You don't. Tostadas are FLAT... hard tortillas are FLAT. Taco shells are abominations probably made in that shape already, like pringles.

So a tostada you just lift and bite into, no tilting necessary.[DOUBLEPOST=1359138505][/DOUBLEPOST]This is a typical tostada though they come in hundreds of varieties:

You'll notice that's WAY closer to the "taco" you guys created in the US than an actual mexican taco which does NOT have cream and grinded cheese or whatnot:

Damn you. Me so hungry!

Jan 25, 2013#51

Ravenpoe

Dave said:
Damn you. Me so hungry!

Wrong country.

Jan 25, 2013#52

Gared

I need to get better at making store bought tortillas not suck. I've yet to achieve that wonderful balance of pliable enough to fold but not mushy or horribly dry. Calleja, can I use cotija or some other Mexican cheese, or is cheese of all kinds verboten when it comes to proper taco fixin's?

Jan 25, 2013#53

Calleja

Gared said:
I need to get better at making store bought tortillas not suck. I've yet to achieve that wonderful balance of pliable enough to fold but not mushy or horribly dry. Calleja, can I use cotija or some other Mexican cheese, or is cheese of all kinds verboten when it comes to proper taco fixin's?

WHAT!? Cotija is a hard, aged cheese!! KEEP THAT AWAY FROM TACOS!

Tacos with cheese are always with melty, stringy cheese. The cheese most taquerias use is called "Asadero", as in "queso asadero", but I think it's a more melty version of Chihuhua cheese, which should be way easier to get.

So the end result should be something like this:

Which you then fork over to the tortilla.[DOUBLEPOST=1359145661][/DOUBLEPOST]That picture, I should add, is of what we call an "alambre de pastor", which is the same meat you saw in the picture of the tacos I linked but mixed with melted cheese, green peppers and (fried)onions. It's usually served with a plate of tortillas and you fork it over, but sometimes they're served already as "tacos", already on tortillas. (this usually means you get less)

Jan 25, 2013#54

Gared

Excellent. I can get my hands on queso asadero easily enough.

Jan 25, 2013#55

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Jan 25, 2013#56

sixpackshaker

cutting that one in half, made all the difference.

Jan 25, 2013#57

MindDetective

Calleja said:
BUT THEN DON'T CALL IT TACO! Call it an "mexican shell" or something... would you like it if the spurious hard-bread burger began being MORE WELL KNOWN than the original one? Think about it. Thanks to taco bell and such (do NOT attempt to tell me Bell had nothing to do with the widespread of the "taco shell") the fucking imitation with yellow cheese (NOTHING in Mexico EVER uses that godawful cheese-like product) is what most people in the world picture when they see the word "taco". I'm sorry, you can enjoy your awful shell as much as you like, but the minute it starts trying to supersede the ORIGINAL taco, which is every day now, I'll jump at it's fucking THROAT AND KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Welcome to the evolution of language.

Jan 25, 2013#58

Calleja

This is not a word evolving into a new use, dude. This is SOMETHING DIFFERENT taking OVER the name for something that's still very much around.

Jan 25, 2013#59

MindDetective

Bwahahaha! Too bad, Calleja Languages, and English especially, co-opt words with new meanings all the time. For better or worse, meanings evolve and there's nothing you can do about it![DOUBLEPOST=1359147479][/DOUBLEPOST]

Calleja said:
This is not a word evolving into a new use, dude. This is SOMETHING DIFFERENT taking OVER the name for something that's still very much around.

Words can also mean more than one thing at a time!

Jan 25, 2013#60

GasBandit

Calleja said:
This is not a word evolving into a new use, dude. This is SOMETHING DIFFERENT taking OVER the name for something that's still very much around.

We park in a driveway and drive on a parkway and there's nothing you can do about it.

Jan 25, 2013#61

Calleja

MindDetective said:
Bwahahaha! Too bad, Calleja Languages, and English especially, co-opt words with new meanings all the time. For better or worse, meanings evolve and there's nothing you can do about it!

Again, this is not language "evolving". It's co-opting, yes, but that doesn't mean there aren't things that can be done against it while there's still time, this is not some inevitable thing, words have been consciously changed before. There's lots I can do about it, and being vocal about it is one of the main ones.

Now there are a dozen forum members who realize the difference, just because of my bitching.

Jan 25, 2013#62

Gared

Here's a question for you. Burritos: rice on the inside, or as a side?

Jan 25, 2013#63

Calleja

GasBandit said:
We park in a driveway and drive on a parkway and there's nothing you can do about it.

again, not the same thing, for that simile to apply the original tacos would have a DIFFERENT name that's been changed or whatever. This is an instance of two DIFFERENT things using the same name for no reason other than marketing.

Jan 25, 2013#64

BananaHands

Jan 25, 2013#65

Calleja

Gared said:
Here's a question for you. Burritos: rice on the inside, or as a side?

Burritos aren't really mexican. They're more of a tex-mex thing. They're a border thing.

That said, I've NEVER had a burrito with rice inside, but, again, burritos down here are american food.[DOUBLEPOST=1359147761][/DOUBLEPOST]

BananaHands said:

you missed your own picture to complete the fag trifecta

(i kid, i kid)

Jan 25, 2013#66

BananaHands

Calleja said:
Burritos aren't really mexican. They're more of a tex-mex thing. They're a border thing.

That said, I've NEVER had a burrito with rice inside, but, again, burritos down here are american food.[DOUBLEPOST=1359147761][/DOUBLEPOST]

you missed your own picture to complete the fag trifecta

(i kid, i kid)

Jan 25, 2013#67

Calleja

And while I see your point, BananaHands, it's still not exactly the same phenomenon cause no one would confuse a bundle of sticks with a cigarette, but american and mexican tacos ARE sort of mutually exclusive in that people think of one or the other, there are no terms to differentiate them as far as I know (like American Football vs Soccer or whatever)

Jan 25, 2013#68

GasBandit

Calleja fulfills all our weeshes with taco flavored keeses.

Jan 25, 2013#69

Gusto

Ask a Texan and a Spaniard what queso is.[DOUBLEPOST=1359148166][/DOUBLEPOST]I also bring shame to my Canadian bros by calling it "soda".

Jan 25, 2013#70

Ravenpoe

Calleja in this thread:

Jan 25, 2013#71

BananaHands

Gusto said:
Ask a Texan and a Spaniard what queso is.[DOUBLEPOST=1359148166][/DOUBLEPOST]I also bring shame to my Canadian bros by calling it "soda".

Ay dude you talking 'bout POP?

Jan 25, 2013#72

Ravenpoe

What, you mean coke?

Alright, what kind do you want? Pepsi or Coca-cola?

Jan 25, 2013#73

BananaHands

Ravenpoe said:
What, you mean coke?

Alright, what kind do you want? Pepsi or Coca-cola?

Southern man, eh?

Jan 25, 2013#74

sixpackshaker

you mean you call cokes, sodas? or do you call cokes, pops?

Jan 25, 2013#75

Gusto

But I will never be able to see words missing u's and miss the typo.

Favourite colour, yo.

Jan 25, 2013#76

Ravenpoe

BananaHands said:
Southern man, eh?

Well, Florida. All the crazy of the South, but tanner.

Jan 25, 2013#77

Calleja

Ravenpoe said:
Calleja in this thread:

Jan 25, 2013#78

Gusto

Also, restroom?! Who rests in there!?

Jan 25, 2013#79

sixpackshaker

Ravenpoe said:
Well, Florida. All the crazy of the South, but tanner.

Redder Rednecks? or South Beach?

Jan 25, 2013#80

Ravenpoe

Gusto said:
Also, restroom?! Who rests in there!?

I rest in my restroom. It's like a fortress of solitude.[DOUBLEPOST=1359148466][/DOUBLEPOST]

sixpackshaker said:
Redder Rednecks? or South Beach?

North Florida, so the reddest of rednecks.

Jan 25, 2013#81

BananaHands

Gusto said:
Also, restroom?! Who rests in there!?

I take 15 minute breaks at work and I'm not pooping.

Jan 25, 2013#82

BananaHands

sixpackshaker said:
you mean you call cokes, sodas? or do you call cokes, pops?

Gusto calls carbonated sugar water soda.

I call sodas pops.

Ravenpoe calls pops cokes.

Jan 25, 2013#83

Gusto

Ain't call me pops, you sure ain't my sonny.

Jan 25, 2013#84

sixpackshaker

I think I was 10 when I figured out how strange it was to ask for a Coke. "Mr. I want a Coke." (I meant it too.) Then he asked "What flavor?" "7up."

Jan 25, 2013#85

Calleja

MindDetective said:
Words can also mean more than one thing at a time!

Of course, when the things aren't COMPETING for the definition, when there's no ambiguity. But in this case THERE IS. When this phenomenon arises, we usually get "back-definitions", like Football and American Football or "Soccer". Imagine if there was no way to verbally distinguish American Football from soccer and people went around calling them both the same thing and having to stop and explain which one they mean every time someone else came over. This is what's happening to "taco" right now, we need a backronym for american tacos or for english to start using "mexican taco" or SOMETHING.

Jan 25, 2013#86

BananaHands

sixpackshaker said:
I think I was 10 when I figured out how strange it was to ask for a Coke. "Mr. I want a Coke." (I meant it too.) Then he asked "What flavor?" "7up."

Oh yeah, when I went to school in Kentucky I was so confused when my roommate said he filled up the fridge with cokes and there was a bunch of mountain dew in there.

Jan 25, 2013#87

Ravenpoe

We need to get twitchmoss in here to complain about what is and isn't a biscuit.

Jan 25, 2013#88

Calleja

Ravenpoe said:
We need to get twitchmoss in here to complain about what is and isn't a biscuit.

Right, what you call cookie is a biscuit in UK and whatnot, but even then you guys have OTHER words you can use, even if different countries don't agree which is which. "Taco" is alone, though, unless you go around calling them "tortilla-wrapped meat things", but then how does that include a hard shell too? Am I getting my point across? There's no other word we can fight over.

Jan 25, 2013#89

BananaHands

Jan 25, 2013#90

sixpackshaker

Well the ethnic Mexicans in Texas and New Mexico have been making crispy tacos for about 100 years. It is Taco Bell that made the crispy taco sweep the land about 50 years ago.

Jan 25, 2013#91

GasBandit

Esto no es una gordita.

Jan 25, 2013#92

BananaHands

Beginning from the early part of the twentieth century, various styles of tacos have become popular in the United States and Canada.[12] An early appearance of a description of the taco in the United States in English was in a 1914 cookbook, California Mexican-Spanish Cookbook, by Bertha Haffner Ginger.[13] The style that has become most common is the hard-shell, U-shaped version described in a cookbook, The good life: New Mexican food, authored by Fabiola Cabeza de Vaca Gilbert and published in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1949.[14]These have been sold by restaurants and by fast food chains. Even non-Mexican oriented fast food restaurants have sold tacos. Mass production of this type of taco was encouraged by the invention of devices to hold the tortillas in the U-shape as they were deep-fried. A patent for such a device was issued to New York restaurateur Juvenico Maldonado in 1950, based on his patent filing of 1947 (U.S. Patent No. 2,506,305).[15][16] Such tacos are crisp-fried corn tortillas filled with seasoned ground beef, cheese, lettuce, and sometimes tomato, onion, salsa, sour cream, and avocado or guacamole

Jan 25, 2013#93

sixpackshaker

how many gorditas did that take?

Jan 25, 2013#94

BananaHands

GasBandit said:
Esto no es una gordita.

Jan 25, 2013#95

Calleja

BananaHands said:
Beginning from the early part of the twentieth century, various styles of tacos have become popular in the United States and Canada.[12] An early appearance of a description of the taco in the United States in English was in a 1914 cookbook, California Mexican-Spanish Cookbook, by Bertha Haffner Ginger.[13] The style that has become most common is the hard-shell, U-shaped version described in a cookbook, The good life: New Mexican food, authored by Fabiola Cabeza de Vaca Gilbert and published in Santa Fe, New Mexico in 1949.[14]These have been sold by restaurants and by fast food chains. Even non-Mexican oriented fast food restaurants have sold tacos. Mass production of this type of taco was encouraged by the invention of devices to hold the tortillas in the U-shape as they were deep-fried. A patent for such a device was issued to New York restaurateur Juvenico Maldonado in 1950, based on his patent filing of 1947 (U.S. Patent No. 2,506,305).[15][16] Such tacos are crisp-fried corn tortillas filled with seasoned ground beef, cheese, lettuce, and sometimes tomato, onion, salsa, sour cream, and avocado or guacamole

I don't get your point. Soft tacos have been around since prehispanic times 600, 700 years ago or more... this is not about something "recent", it's about a word missing to distinguish the taco-variations.

Jan 25, 2013#96

Chad Sexington

Gusto said:
I also bring shame to my Canadian bros by calling it "soda".

Gusto.

No.

Just... just stop.

Please. Please stop.

Jan 25, 2013#97

BananaHands

Calleja said:
I don't get your point. Soft tacos have been around since prehispanic times 600, 700 years ago or more... this is not about something "recent", it's about a word missing to distinguish the taco-variations.

I wasn't making a point, I just googled it and found it interesting because I wasn't aware there was no such thing as a hard-shell taco in mexico until this thread.

Jan 25, 2013#98

sixpackshaker

OK, you need to come to America and open a bakery to make decent corn tortillas. The soft corn tortillas made in the states SUCK, unless you fry it to a crisp.

Jan 25, 2013#99

Calleja

BananaHands said:
I wasn't making a point, I just googled it and found it interesting because I wasn't aware there was no such thing as a hard-shell taco in mexico until this thread.

Oh, yeah, you guys are alone in that. I remember when Taco Bell tried to open a franchise in Mexico City in the early 90s, late 80s. They were in business like a whole two weeks.

Mexicans that travel to the US tend to LOATHE taco bell cause, well, they're not tacos... but I've always insisted that they're perfectly fine if you see them as what they are... junk food that has nothing to do with tacos. It's hard for lots of my friends to make the distinction though. I'm the reasonable one.

Imagine that.[DOUBLEPOST=1359149779][/DOUBLEPOST]

sixpackshaker said:
OK, you need to come to America and open a bakery to make decent corn tortillas. The soft corn tortillas made in the states SUCK, unless you fry it to a crisp.

Fun fact, we have both bakeries AND tortillerias, different places. Tortillerias are usually tiny, make nothing else, but make literally thousands a day and have long lines at certain hours. Of course, these days even large chain supermarkets have "mini-tortillerias". They're big ass machines too:

Jan 25, 2013#100

GasBandit

And there are few words more fun to say than "tortilleria."

Jan 25, 2013#101

Calleja

It's technically "tortillería", with an accent in the second i. Going by how you guys say my name, it must be hilarious to hear you guys pronounce that.

Jan 25, 2013#102

GasBandit

Calleja said:
It's technically "tortillería", with an accent in the second i. Going by how you guys say my name, it must be hilarious to hear you guys pronounce that.

Tor-TEE-uh-REE-uh.

But it is fun to hear the yanks call them "Tortilly-areas."

Jan 25, 2013#103

Gared

There needs to be such a thing as a quesadilleria, just because it would be fun to say, and fun to watch people try to say and fail.

Jan 25, 2013#104

Calleja

Gared said:
There needs to be such a thing as a quesadilleria, just because it would be fun to say, and fun to watch people try to say and fail.

There are. They're usually old ladies making them in a street-cart thingie, and we usually call them "la señora de las quesadillas" (quesadilla lady), but they're technically quesadillerías, heh.

GasBandit said:
Tor-TEE-uh-REE-uh.

But it is fun to hear the yanks call them "Tortilly-areas."

It's more like Tor-tee-yeh-REE-ah.

Jan 25, 2013#105

GasBandit

Calleja said:
It's more like Tor-tee-yeh-REE-ah.

Perhaps, but english speakers are incapable of emphasizing less than 2 syllables of a 5 syllable word.

Jan 25, 2013#106

Calleja

GasBandit said:
Perhaps, but english speakers are incapable of not emphasizing less than 2 syllables of a 5 syllable word.

you also skipped the "Y" sound, though. That double LL *IS* pronounced.

Jan 25, 2013#107

GasBandit

Calleja said:
you also skipped the "Y" sound, though. That double LL *IS* pronounced.

No I didn't. Tor-TEE-uh. The EE-uh is bridged with a Y sound and slurs into the preceding I.

Tortilla = Tor-TEE-uh.

Tortia = TORT-yuh (or more likely, TOR-shuh).

Jan 25, 2013#108

Calleja

GasBandit said:
No I didn't. Tor-TEE-uh. The EE-uh is bridged with a Y sound and slurs into the preceding I.

Tortilla = Tor-TEE-uh.

Tortia = TORT-yuh (or more likely, TOR-shuh).

Dude, that's skipping the LL sound. If you're "slurring" you're mispronouncing, JCM-wannabe ¬¬

Tortilla = tor-TEE-yah. That's the first sound in "yes", or even better, the sound in "jar", YAH. Think the sound of a cartoon karate chop. Hi-YAH!

Maybe a j would be better than a Y, but that's jarring (yarring?) to my bilingual brain.

Jan 25, 2013#109

GasBandit

Calleja said:
Dude, that's skipping the LL sound. If you're "slurring" you're mispronouncing, JCM-wannabe ¬¬

Tortilla = tor-TEE-yah. That's the first sound in "yes", or even better, the sound in "jar", YAH. Think the sound of a cartoon karate chop. Hi-YAH!

Maybe a j would be better than a Y, but that's jarring (yarring?) to my bilingual brain.

What you don't understand is that the english speaker (perhaps merely the southern english speaker) is also incapable of connecting most any two vowel sounds without injecting a y between them.

Jan 25, 2013#110

Calleja

GasBandit said:
What you don't understand is that the english speaker (perhaps merely the southern english speaker) is also incapable of connecting most any two vowel sounds without injecting a y between them.

That doesn't mean you didn't skip a sound, you just can't pronounce it

Jan 25, 2013#111

sixpackshaker

We still say Mex-e-can.

Or the county that San Antonio is in, Bexar. Out-of-towners call it bex-ar, locals call it bear, and foreign Spanish speakers try to call it bey-Har.

Jan 25, 2013#112

GasBandit

Calleja said:
That doesn't mean you didn't skip a sound, you just can't pronounce it

Nah, it's just an issue with transcription. And don't talk to me about who can't pronounce what, your whole nation inserts unnecessary d's into r's.

Jan 25, 2013#113

Gilgamesh

Calleja - Don't forget to tell them they're supposed to pinch the end of the back of the taco as well while we tilt.

Jan 25, 2013#114

Calleja

GasBandit said:
Nah, it's just an issue with transcription. And don't talk to me about who can't pronounce what, your whole nation inserts unnecessary d's into r's.

I'll go one on one with ANY English pronunciation you throw my way, ese.

Jan 25, 2013#115

sixpackshaker

Gilgamesh said:
Calleja - Don't forget to tell them they're supposed to pinch the end of the back of the taco as well while we tilt.

If you pinch it the shell will break and drop the ground beef onto the table.

Jan 25, 2013#116

Calleja

Gilgamesh said:
Calleja - Don't forget to tell them they're supposed to pinch the end of the back of the taco as well while we tilt.

That depends more on the taco, street tacos are too small so it's not really necessary.

Jan 25, 2013#117

Gared

sixpackshaker said:
If you pinch it the shell will break and drop the ground beef onto the table.

Not to mention the lettuce, diced tomato, shredded cheddar, and sour cream and salsa.

Jan 25, 2013#118

Gilgamesh

sixpackshaker said:
If you pinch it the shell will break and drop the ground beef onto the table.

We've already made it clear that shelled tacos are tostada mutations and not tacos.

Calleja said:
That depends more on the taco, street tacos are too small so it's not really necessary.

Yeah but the tacos they're eating are definitely not street tacos, which I love with a passion. Mmmm, bisteak.

Jan 25, 2013#119

sixpackshaker

How about a definition for Torta?

Jan 25, 2013#120

North_Ranger

And this all started with a burger cut in half...

Jan 25, 2013#121

Gilgamesh

I wanted to find a picture of a sassy mexican girl and do a meme version of this:

but with Jesu's instead of Jesus.

Jan 25, 2013#122

sixpackshaker

I found Hey-sus in prison. A whole bunch of them...

Jan 25, 2013#123

GasBandit

Calleja said:
I'll go one on one with ANY English pronunciation you throw my way, ese.

Only because our language and pop culture dominate the world, so you've been forced to learn it no matter where you look. That's no challenge.[DOUBLEPOST=1359152500][/DOUBLEPOST]

sixpackshaker said:
I found Hey-sus in prison. A whole bunch of them...

"And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross,
I'll tell them I found Jesus, that will throw them off.
He goes by the name Hay-soos and steals hubcaps from cars.
Oh, Hay-soos, can I borrow your crowbar?"

Jan 25, 2013#124

Calleja

sixpackshaker said:
How about a definition for Torta?

That depends on whether you're in Spain or Mexico. Kinda like "biscuit" for UK and US.

A torta in spain is this:

In Mexico, it's this:

Funnily enough, those were literally the top 2 results, side by side, in an image search for "torta" in my Google.

Jan 25, 2013#125

Gared

Soo... what kind of bread would be most appropriate for a Mexican torta? I hear people using ciabatta all the time, but I'm not a huge fan of it, and using a hamburger bun seems sacrilegious somehow.

Jan 25, 2013#126

sixpackshaker

Half the time that I go into Taquerias in Texas and order a Torta, they just assume that I don't know what I'm ordering and give me tacos instead. :mad:

[DOUBLEPOST=1359152686][/DOUBLEPOST]

Gared said:
Soo... what kind of bread would be most appropriate for a Mexican torta? I hear people using ciabatta all the time, but I'm not a huge fan of it, and using a hamburger bun seems sacrilegious somehow.

It is just a baguette.

Jan 25, 2013#127

Gared

I mean, technically I suppose the preferred thing to do would be to go to a paneria, but we don't have one of those around here.[DOUBLEPOST=1359152927][/DOUBLEPOST]

North_Ranger said:
And this all started with a burger cut in half...

Well, if nothing else, this thread has inspired me to do some semi-serious cooking this weekend, once I get my kitchen cleaned and get my mead started.

Jan 25, 2013#128

sixpackshaker

If I'm out with my best friend, and I order a Torta, he asks me what the hell it is. I tell him "you're the Hispanic, you tell me." Then he orders the Crispy Tacos.

I think a waiter called him a coconut when he ordered those.[DOUBLEPOST=1359153025][/DOUBLEPOST]

Gared said:
I mean, technically I suppose the preferred thing to do would be to go to a paneria, but we don't have one of those around here.[DOUBLEPOST=1359152927][/DOUBLEPOST]
Well, if nothing else, this thread has inspired me to do some semi-serious cooking this weekend, once I get my kitchen cleaned and get my mead started.

This thread sent me out to get a Chimiganga for lunch.

Jan 25, 2013#129

Calleja

It's not a baguette.

It's a bolillo. I don't think you have those exactly.

Baguette:

Bolillo:

Bolillos are a bit softer than baguettes, but we also have another even softer bread which is what you see in the torta pic I linked called telera:

But teleras aren't as good in my own biased central-mexico opinion. They're softer but barely have a taste. Good for something like a torta de pastor (oh yeah, a taco and a torta have a baby and you get that), but not so much a ham torta.

Jan 25, 2013#130

GasBandit

sixpackshaker said:
This thread sent me out to get a Chimiganga for lunch.

Carne asada a la Tampiqueña. Mmmmm.

Jan 25, 2013#131

sixpackshaker

Bolillos are labeled baguettes here, and we call baguettes "french bread."

Jan 25, 2013#132

Gared

Hmm... mayhap now would be a good time to order that professional baking book off of Amazon and a good kitchen scale to go with it.

Jan 25, 2013#133

Calleja

GasBandit said:
Carne asada a la Tampiqueña. Mmmmm.

hahaha, that's weird to read, down here it's literally just "a tampiqueña", saying "carne asada a la tampiqueña" sounds kinda like saying "noodle pasta".

Jan 25, 2013#134

Gared

sixpackshaker said:
Bolillos are labeled baguettes here, and we call baguettes "french bread."

Odd. Up here in the north, what we call "french bread" is a soft bread, usually without much crust, that's much wider and shorter than a baguette; and almost no one sells bolillos, unless you go to an upscale grocer.[DOUBLEPOST=1359153348][/DOUBLEPOST]

Calleja said:
hahaha, that's weird to read, down here it's literally just "a tampiqueña", saying "carne asada a la tampiqueña" sounds kinda like saying "noodle pasta".

It still drives me insane when chili makers label their cans "Chili con Carne with meat and beans."

Jan 25, 2013#135

sixpackshaker

Down here Wal-Mart and Krogers carry them, but they just label them wrong.[DOUBLEPOST=1359153449][/DOUBLEPOST]

Gared said:
It still drives me insane when chili makers label their cans "Chili con Carne with meat and beans."

Down here the old timers still say "THE RIO GRANDY RIVER."

Jan 25, 2013#136

Calleja

Gared said:
Odd. Up here in the north, what we call "french bread" is a soft bread, usually without much crust, that's much wider and shorter than a baguette; and almost no one sells bolillos, unless you go to an upscale grocer.[DOUBLEPOST=1359153348][/DOUBLEPOST]
It still drives me insane when chili makers label their cans "Chili con Carne with meat and beans."

Oh that's entirely marketing as well, friend. Chili is barely even tex-mex, it's almost 100% american, I think the settlers of Texas were the ones that started making it, but it's ridiculous to call it "chili" when it's MEAT, that's how you know it's not a spanish term. Down here it would literally be a "meat soup". It's a 100% imported food.

Jan 25, 2013#137

Gared

Calleja said:
Oh that's entirely marketing as well, friend. Chili is barely even tex-mex, it's almost 100% american, I think the settlers of Texas were the ones that started making it, but it's ridiculous to call it "chili" when it's MEAT, that's how you know it's not a spanish term. Down here it would literally be a "meat soup". It's a 100% imported food.

Oh yeah, I wasn't trying to imply that it's actually Mexican food, just that redundant redundancy annoys me.

Jan 25, 2013#138

sixpackshaker

I think the Canary Islanders that settled San Antonio are the ones that started making Chili con Carne. South Texas has a lot of chilis and cattle. So the dish made sense.

Jan 25, 2013#139

Gared

Oh yeah, while we're at least barely on the topic, can one of you Texans link me to (or post) a good recipe for Texas Red? Something an actual blue-collar working man would eat? I haven't had good chili in about a decade now.

Jan 25, 2013#140

sixpackshaker

In reality Brisket is Mexican food. It was being produced in the state of Coahila y Tejas before the revolution.

Jan 25, 2013#141

Calleja

The funny thing is even though it's not Mexican/Spanish at all it's still always labed as "chili con carne", not, y'know "chili with meat" or whatever, they make it sound spanish for some weird reason.

Jan 25, 2013#142

sixpackshaker

Gared said:
Oh yeah, while we're at least barely on the topic, can one of you Texans link me to (or post) a good recipe for Texas Red? Something an actual blue-collar working man would eat? I haven't had good chili in about a decade now.

Actually the blue collar guys eat weird crap with tomatoes, beans and rice... it is the Texas Proud Yuppies that are doing the Chili competitions.

But search for competition chili recipes.[DOUBLEPOST=1359154132][/DOUBLEPOST]

Calleja said:
The funny thing is even though it's not Mexican/Spanish at all it's still always labed as "chili con carne", not, y'know "chili with meat" or whatever, they make it sound spanish for some weird reason.

The people that created it were Spanish speakers in Mexico/New Spain.

Jan 25, 2013#143

Calleja

sixpackshaker said:
Actually the blue collar guys eat weird crap with tomatoes, beans and rice... it is the Texas Proud Yuppies that are doing the Chili competitions.

But search for competition chili recipes.[DOUBLEPOST=1359154132][/DOUBLEPOST]

The people that created it were Spanish speakers in Mexico/New Spain.

Uhh.. what? According to Wikipedia it was created by "American frontier settlers" in the 1860's or later, not spanish speakers. "New Spain" stopped existing in 1810.

If they were spanish speakers they would use a SPANISH word, "Chile". Chili is not in Spanish.

Jan 25, 2013#144

sixpackshaker

And it is a name that has been in use in an English Speaking Country for 180 years. Spellings can wander.

Jan 25, 2013#145

Jay

Gilgamesh said:
I wanted to find a picture of a sassy mexican girl and do a meme version of this:
View attachment 10034

but with Jesu's instead of Jesus.

Ask your sister.

Jan 25, 2013#146

sixpackshaker

http://www.streetdirectory.com/food...ds_to_san_antonio_the_origins_of_tex_mex.html

Really, Chili is a fusion of Native American and Canary Islander food. White Settlers did not make spicy food. They deep fried EVERYTHING. It was with the Cattle Drives that whites started eating chili, because it was easy to transport a bunch of light spices. Then use the dying cattle to make Chili con Carne.

Wikipedia?

Jan 25, 2013#147

Calleja

sixpackshaker said:
http://www.streetdirectory.com/food...ds_to_san_antonio_the_origins_of_tex_mex.html

Really, Chili is a fusion of Native American and Canary Islander food. White Settlers did not make spicy food. They deep fried EVERYTHING. It was with the Cattle Drives that whites started eating chili, because it was easy to transport a bunch of light spices. Then use the dying cattle to make Chili con Carne.

Wikipedia?

Well, I kinda trust Wikipedia a bit more than your streetdirectory site which insists that "chili peppers were contributed by Canary Islanders", which is ridiculous, Spain had to DE-spice their imported chiles and created the (barely)spicy peppers they use over there now. Spanish food is not spicy like Mexican is.

Jan 25, 2013#148

WasabiPoptart

North_Ranger said:
And this all started with a burger cut in half...

Hey I had a simple math question in here not too long ago that turned into proofs of why .999999∞ is, or is not, equal to 1.

Jan 25, 2013#149

Tress

ITT: Calleja argues with everyone about everything, only to find out that approximately 350,000,000 people to the north of him still call hard shells tacos. Good luck with that.

Jan 25, 2013#150

Calleja

Tress said:
ITT: Calleja argues with everyone about everything, only to find out that approximately 350,000,000 people to the north of him still call hard shells tacos. Good luck with that.

And around 500 million to the south of you don't. Bitch. (that's 120 million mexicans plus 380 million south americans)[DOUBLEPOST=1359157517][/DOUBLEPOST]

WasabiPoptart said:
Hey I had a simple math question in here not too long ago that turned into proofs of why .999999∞ is, or is not, equal to 1.

It's not, how can they argue, it's a limit!

Jan 25, 2013#151

Tress

Ooh, you called me bitch. Edgy.

:rolleyes:

Jan 25, 2013#152

BananaHands

So all I've taken from this is that soft-shelled tacos are UNAMERICAN.

Jan 25, 2013#153

Calleja

Tress said:
Ooh, you called me bitch. Edgy.

Oh, you thought I was trying to be offensive. Cute.

Jan 25, 2013#154

Charlie Don't Surf

what's a nubian

Jan 25, 2013#155

Calleja

Charlie Don't Surf said:
what's a nubian

SHUT THE FUCK UP![DOUBLEPOST=1359158079][/DOUBLEPOST]Darth Vader was the BLACKEST BROTHA IN THE GALAXY

Jan 25, 2013#156

Charlie Don't Surf

I fucking hate Kevin Smith now for a myriad of reasons, but those first several movies owned

Jan 25, 2013#157

Calleja

Kevin Smith is fucking awesome to this day.

Jan 25, 2013#158

Charlie Don't Surf

uh huh

that's a battle for another thread

Jan 25, 2013#159

blotsfan

I just wanna say I had Chipotle today. If thats not like what you have down in Mexico, you should ask them for some pointers.

Jan 25, 2013#160

Calleja

blotsfan said:
I just wanna say I had Chipotle today. If thats not like what you have down in Mexico, you should ask them for some pointers.

No, you should try real mexican food and them compare.

(and yes, I've had both Chipotle and Taco Bell. The former can be pretty good, but it's about as Mexican as Olive Garden is Italian, maybe even less)

Jan 25, 2013#161

Gilgamesh

Calleja said:
(and yes, I've had both Chipotle and Taco Bell. The former can be pretty good, but it's about as Mexican as Olive Garden is Italian, maybe even less)

Pretty much. The way I see it is you can't compare Chipotle/Taco Bell to real Mexican food. They may share base ingredients but they are NOT the same type of food to be compared equally. It'd be like comparing Spagetti and Pho Noodle bowls. Sure they're both noodles but different worlds apart in type.

Jay - You gives me a sad. I would totally have done that but I haven't seen my sister in almost half a year now. As well as our online/phone/text communications have all but become a trickle.

Jan 25, 2013#162

Silent Bob

Charlie Don't Surf said:
uh huh

that's a battle for another thread

Watch where you tread, bro. I will fuck you up!

Jan 25, 2013#163

Yoshimickster

I've only had Chipotle once, and never again. They blobbed all the rice at the bottom and it was HORRIBLE! Also its once of those places where they tell you how many calories a dish is, it just feels pretentious.

Jan 25, 2013#164

Ravenpoe

Yoshimickster said:
I've only had Chipotle once, and never again. They blobbed all the rice at the bottom and it was HORRIBLE! Also its once of those places where they tell you how many calories a dish is, it just feels pretentious.

You're missing out on some really good times by basing your decision entirely on a lone experience without any further data.

This isn't limited only to Chipotle.

Jan 25, 2013#165

Yoshimickster

Even so I avoid most chain restaurants like the plague. If I want a burrito I'll just go down-town Hammonton.

Jan 26, 2013#166

WasabiPoptart

I've heard the Mexican place near Bruni's pizza is pretty decent.

Jan 26, 2013#167

jwhouk

GasBandit said:
Perhaps, but english speakers are incapable of emphasizing less than 2 syllables of a 5 syllable word.

Sadly, he speaks the truth.

EDIT: Oh, and I had a Cheese Butterburger from Culvers last night. Yum.

Used one hand, though. Had to use the other to ward off others trying to steal my crinkle-cut fries.

Jan 26, 2013#168

DarkAudit

A one-handed cheeseburger is hardly worth considering.

(Unless said hand belonged to Andre the Giant.)

Jan 26, 2013#169

WasabiPoptart

DarkAudit said:
A one-handed cheeseburger is hardly worth considering.

(Unless said hand belonged to Andre the Giant.)

Why would you want a dead guy holding your cheeseburger? That doesn't sound appetizing.

Jan 26, 2013#170

DarkAudit

Yeah, but...

Jan 26, 2013#171

Yoshimickster

For those with TMJ like myself, one must always make sure to have a relaxed jaw otherwise you will feel the horrible pain of a thousand dying sons.

As for handling the burger I use two hands to firmly grip it, depends on the burger size. If its one of those little meat pattys you can get by the dozen, than one handed is good. If its a real burger though, I use two hands or risk losing pieces of the deliciousness.

WasabiPoptart said:
I've heard the Mexican place near Bruni's pizza is pretty decent.

I usually go to Los Lomas, but that place is good. Haven't been there in a while though.

Jan 26, 2013#172

Zappit

Calleja said:
Kevin Smith is fucking awesome to this day.

Sorry, Charlie, but this is entirely relevant, as Kevin Smith is roughly 78% cheeseburgers.

Jan 26, 2013#173

WasabiPoptart

Animal style from In & Out, if I remember.

Jan 27, 2013#174

fade

I have to say with complete honesty that if someone took the same bun that I use on my burger and deep fried it, I might not think it was a traditional burger, but I'd still be okay calling it a hard burger or something. Also, I honestly assumed everyone knew the authentic shell was the soft one.

Jan 27, 2013#175

Chad Sexington

fade said:
I have to say with complete honesty that if someone took the same bun that I use on my burger and deep fried it, I might not think it was a traditional burger, but I'd still be okay calling it a hard burger or something. Also, I honestly assumed everyone knew the authentic shell was the soft one.

insert culturally motivated culinary rage here

Jan 27, 2013#176

Calleja

fade said:
I have to say with complete honesty that if someone took the same bun that I use on my burger and deep fried it, I might not think it was a traditional burger, but I'd still be okay calling it a hard burger or something. Also, I honestly assumed everyone knew the authentic shell was the soft one.

But it's not really just the shell (which is way different that just a fried tortilla anyway, the taco bell shells I've seen are more like reconstituted dorito-like U-shaped stuff, not fried tortillas) it's the entire content. And not even with all those differences is there something used to differentiate them, that's what I was trying to point out. I think.

Jan 27, 2013#177

jwhouk

LITERALLY Doritos, at times.

(EDIT to include link.)

Jan 27, 2013#178

fade

Maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember that Taco Bell invented the hard taco shell by deep frying the tortilla on a mold, for the sole purpose of speeding up the assembly line. I seem to remember they used soft tortillas at first, but the hard shell fit nicely into grooves on the assembly line, which meant they could get custom tacos out to you in seconds. I mean, they've changed the formula by now, but originally, they were just fried tortillas.[DOUBLEPOST=1359301227][/DOUBLEPOST]This seems relevant, since the Italians have had this same rant about pizza: http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season13/furious3.mp3[DOUBLEPOST=1359301826][/DOUBLEPOST]

Jan 27, 2013#179

figmentPez

fade said:
Maybe someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember that Taco Bell invented the hard taco shell by deep frying the tortilla on a mold, for the sole purpose of speeding up the assembly line. I seem to remember they used soft tortillas at first, but the hard shell fit nicely into grooves on the assembly line, which meant they could get custom tacos out to you in seconds. I mean, they've changed the formula by now, but originally, they were just fried tortillas.

I thought that Taco Bell was doing fried tacos, but they fried them with the filling inside, like (I think) Burger King and Jack-in-the-Box still do. The innovation of a pre-fried hard shell at Taco Bell meant that they didn't have to fill them, then fry them before serving. But, yeah, either way they were using different corn tortillas then than they do now.

Jan 28, 2013#180

Frank

Man, I wonder what Calleja would think of the Canadian fast food chain Taco Time's Mexi-Fries?

They're literally salt drenched tater tots. Each one saltier than the last.

http://www.tacotimecanada.com/en/menu/mexi-fries-page.aspx

Or how about fine Albertan Mexican dining, JULIO'S BARRIO!

http://juliosbarrio.com/edmonton/menu/

Jan 28, 2013#181

figmentPez

Frank said:
They're literally salt drenched tater tots. Each one saltier than the last.

http://www.tacotimecanada.com/en/menu/mexi-fries-page.aspx

Mexi-Fries Deluxe sound pretty tasty...[DOUBLEPOST=1359383377][/DOUBLEPOST]

Frank said:
Or how about fine Albertan Mexican dining, JULIO'S BARRIO!

http://juliosbarrio.com/edmonton/menu/

Vegetarian, chicken and prawn "fajitas"... what the hell? Fajita is a cut of beef! You cannot, by definition, have fajitas that are not beef! </Faux Rage>

Actually, I tend to like chicken fajitas more than I like beef.

Jan 28, 2013#182

Jay

I generally dislike Mexican food that I do not make myself. Either it too hot or tastes like shit.

Thus I conclude that this is a cultural thing in either you have to make it as hot as fuck to appease the fucks who enjoy this type of food or it is a competition to make the worst tasting food to win some type of horrible trophy.

Jan 28, 2013#183

Tress

figmentPez said:
Vegetarian, chicken and prawn "fajitas"... what the hell? Fajita is a cut of beef! You cannot, by definition, have fajitas that are not beef! </Faux Rage>

Actually, I tend to like chicken fajitas more than I like beef.

"Fajita" just refers to grilled meats served in a tortilla. It is not necessarily beef. This does mean, though, that the vegetarian fajita is a contradiction.

Jan 28, 2013#184

Calleja

Jay said:
I generally dislike Mexican food that I do not make myself. Either it too hot or tastes like shit.

Thus I conclude that this is a cultural thing in either you have to make it as hot as fuck to appease the fucks who enjoy this type of food or it is a competition to make the worst tasting food to win some type of horrible trophy.

Ever been to Mexico and had REAL Mexican food?

Jan 28, 2013#185

Tress

Calleja said:
Ever been to Mexico and had REAL Mexican food?

You know, there are real Mexican restaurants up here. We're not all the Taco Bell-eating idiots you seem to think we are. It's entirely possible he had real Mexican food and didn't like it, and going to Mexico won't change that.

Jan 28, 2013#186

GasBandit

Tress said:
You know, there are real Mexican restaurants up here. We're not all the Taco Bell eating idiots you seem to think we are. It's entirely possible he had real Mexican food and didn't like it, and going to Mexico won't change that.

I want to agree with you, but I have a hard time imagining "real" mexican food restaurants in Quebec. I mean, they were rare enough in Maryland.

Jan 28, 2013#187

Emrys

stienman said:
Grasp the burger firmly, with thumb and pinky on the bottom, and three fingers on top. Use pinky and ring fingers to compress the side away from your gaping maw preventing toppings from spilling out. If burger is too large to correctly hold in this manner, place on plate and press firmly with palm until burger size is adjusted. Allow toppings and sauces to spill during this process, do not be timid.

Once the correct hold is achieved, move the forefinger and thumb away from your gaping maw, exposing some of the remaining burger for consumption. Apply moderate pressure with the forefinger and thumb to prevent burger toppings from sliding further into the burger during the next step. Continue to apply pinky and ring finger pressure to prevent topping spillage from the back of the burger.

Place exposed portion of burger between front incisors. Close lips around the burger, then apply sufficient biting force to cut, not rip or tear, but cut through entire burger, bun, toppings and all. While pulling remaining burger and unharmed fingers away from face, close lips and commence chewing. If you are unable to close lips fully, consider adjusting your bite size in subsequent iterations of this process.

Your previous bite has likely created a prominent portion of burger that is more exposed than others. Move your thumb and ring again to further expose this spot, and consume this portion. You may rotate the burger a few degrees each bite, but you should be consuming the burger from one side to the other, not in a rotary manner. Your pinky and ring finger should be constantly guarding nearly the same edge throughout the entire process, until too little remains for them to come into play.

You will find that many prefer to use their dominant hand for this process. This is acceptable, particularly while learning, however experienced burgermeisters use their non dominant hand, which leaves their dominant hand free to consume beverages and the traditional french fries inbetween bites. They keep the burger in hand until it is consumed in order to prevent any loss of toppings during the repositioning process that would be required if they placed the burger back on their plate. This is generally acceptable, as meals containing a burger as the main dish usually consist entirely of food meant to be eaten by hand, however a fork may also be handled with the dominant hand without having to place the burger back on the plate. At no point should a knife be necessary. If you gesticulate while eating, be sure your grip on your burger is sufficient to prevent flinging some or all of it on adjacent patrons.

Particularly large burgers may require two hands, and those with small hands may find two hands more comfortable than the typical singlehanded grip. In this case one hand replaces the function of the pinky and ring fingers, and the other replaces the function of the forefinger and thumb.

It is the rare exception to see someone in the US consume a burger with utensils, but it is not frowned on or offensive. Indeed, many parents cut up burgers into small pieces for very young children who are unable to grasp the burger as normal. It may then be consumed carefully with fingers or using a fork. One may use any method of consuming the burger that feels comfortable to them when using utensils, but they should be aware that it is the combination of ingredients in the proportion as prepared that provides the full flavor of the burger.

Removing a bun, for instance, may also remove some of the sauces present, and certainly increases the meat to bread ratio of successive bites. Some may prefer this, but they should be aware that they are altering the texture and flavor of the food. You may see burgers served in the US with one bun off to the side - this is a convenience so the consumer may alter, apply, or customize toppings before putting the bun back on and consuming the burger as normal. Some advertising also shows burgers with the bun removed in order to showcase the toppings, but again the burger is rarely consumed in this manner.

There is no wrong way to consume an amican style hamburger, but we do hope that these tips improve your future burger eating experiences.

Dig in!

That's an awfully long-winded way to say "stick it in your mouth and like it".

Jan 28, 2013#188

Tress

Emrys said:
That's an awfully long-winded way to say "stick it in your mouth and like it".

Jan 28, 2013#189

Gilgamesh

Tress said:
You know, there are real Mexican restaurants up here. We're not all the Taco Bell-eating idiots you seem to think we are. It's entirely possible he had real Mexican food and didn't like it, and going to Mexico won't change that.

There's a striking difference. No matter how good your real Mexican restaurant is anywhere but actual Spanish countries, it's not 100% the same. However, if he doesn't like the base food/flavors, then he probably won't like it anyway. Considering his complaint is that it's all too hot because they can't have real flavor, it strikes me as he hasn't had it really authentic, as most true Mexican food uses hints of spice,and not overpowering ones.

Jan 28, 2013#190

Tress

Honestly Calleja, your shit is getting annoying in this thread. People can have different opinions. I don't know why you seem to struggle with that simple concept.

Jan 28, 2013#191

Emrys

Tress said:

Exactly.

Jan 28, 2013#192

Gilgamesh

Tress said:
Honestly Calleja, your shit is getting annoying in this thread. People can have different opinions. I don't know why you seem to struggle with that simple concept.

Because he's explaining how there IS a difference in food quality and ignorant responses are keeping him explaining.

Jan 28, 2013#193

Calleja

Tress said:
You know, there are real Mexican restaurants up here. We're not all the Taco Bell-eating idiots you seem to think we are. It's entirely possible he had real Mexican food and didn't like it, and going to Mexico won't change that.

Unless you can import fresh ingredients every day, I really, really doubt the "authentic" Mexican restaurants manage to be 100% authentic. You've seen how people say thay can't even get decent soft tortillas, imagine having to deal with that every single day, besides fresh chiles, fresh non-fakey cheese, etc etc. I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm saying it'd be so expensive, niche and rare that I doubt it's common enough to be compared with taco bell's widespread recognition.

Jan 28, 2013#194

fade

Eh, everyone thinks no one else can properly make their cultural food. I laugh when I see people from the north on TV making "southern" food. (Hint: it isn't genuine if it has 40 ingredients in it--the real stuff is fairly simple.) Then again, if I sit down and give it a chance, usually it is pretty close. And if it isn't, you can definitely trace the lineage back.

Jan 28, 2013#195

Emrys

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
View attachment 10033

We need an "oh dear god!" button.

Jan 28, 2013#196

Calleja

Tress said:
Honestly Calleja, your shit is getting annoying in this thread. People can have different opinions. I don't know why you seem to struggle with that simple concept.

Dude, read my fucking posts, I've said several times that I LIKE taco bell and chipotle... as junk food. If I keep fucking posting is because you keep fucking giving me reasons to. Fucking hell.

"have you considered this?"
"yeah, but.."
"AUGH, HONESTLY YOUR SHIT IS ANOOYING"

Right.

Jan 28, 2013#197

Jay

Calleja said:
Ever been to Mexico and had REAL Mexican food?

I don't want to die.

Jan 28, 2013#198

Tress

Emrys said:
Exactly.

I knew that's where you were going, it just felt wrong not to post that smiley.

Jan 28, 2013#199

sixpackshaker

One big difference for Mexican food here, and in the valley of Mexico are what's available in the markets.

That's why Tex-Mex is so different, until recently no one could get the same types of food. That's why enchiladas have velveta or cheddar cheese here and not any of the different queso blancos, etc...

Jan 28, 2013#200

figmentPez

Tress said:
"Fajita" just refers to grilled meats served in a tortilla.

Well, that's what it means now, but originally fajita (meaning "little sash") was a reference to the skirt steak cut of beef used to make the fajitas. The original fajitas were made from a specific cut of beef; anything else would technically be fajita-style, though I'm not about to demand the hyphenated addition.

Jan 28, 2013#201

Calleja

Fajitas is one Tex-Mex food that actually did become widespread in Mexico (although you don't find them in "typical food" places,obviously), and they're fucking delicious but not mexican either.

Jan 28, 2013#202

Emrys

So, if you were going to serve a "typical" Mexican dinner to someone who had never eaten authentic Mexican food, what would it consist of?

Jan 28, 2013#203

sixpackshaker

figmentPez said:
Well, that's what it means now, but originally fajita (meaning "little sash") was a reference to the skirt steak cut of beef used to make the fajitas. The original fajitas were made from a specific cut of beef; anything else would technically be fajita-style, though I'm not about to demand the hyphenated addition.

Fajitas started because there is not enough goats for cabrito, I don't recall the actual name.

Jan 28, 2013#204

Calleja

Emrys said:
So, if you were going to serve a "typical" Mexican dinner to someone who had never eaten authentic Mexican food, what would it consist of?

Huh. Does it have be "typical" ala what a mexican mom prepares every day for dinner, or can it be more 11pm in the streets of Mexico City?

Jan 28, 2013#205

Emrys

Calleja said:
Huh. Does it have be "typical" ala what a mexican mom prepares every day for dinner, or can it be more 11pm in the streets of Mexico City?

You're the one serving the food, cheri. You decide.

Jan 28, 2013#206

Covar

This thread is making me hungry for some Tex Mex.

Jan 28, 2013#207

Emrys

I'm getting me some after work!

(Food, you pervs. Food)

Jan 28, 2013#208

Covar

Emrys said:
(Food, you pervs. Food)

Jan 28, 2013#209

Calleja

Well I don't think anyone can visit Mexico without experiencing true tacos al pastor, which have actually moorish/arabic origins which you notice in the similarity to shawarma/kebabs:

They're entirely different by now, of course , and yes, that's a huge slab of pineapple you see on the bottom left, they're usually on top of the meat thing and taqueros have this showy tradition of loping off a bit of pineapple and catching it with the already meated tortilla. That being said I'd say a good 60% or more of us take the pineapple off or just order them without. This is the same dish I linked to earlier.

This hypothetical foreigner would also HAVE to try an original, made-for-hours-and-hours mole:

I know you guys can now get "canned" or "bottled" concentrated mole (we can too in Supermarkets) but please believe me when I say those are pale, pale shadows of a real one made with like 40 fecking different ingredients by a little old lady who got up at 4am so it'd be ready by 2pm. Mole is the sauce ("mole", is actually the original word for "sauce" in nahuatl, but the meaning has changed now, kinda like "curry") and it usually covers a nice piece of chicken, but I swear the best part is the end when you grab a piece of tortilla and just clean the plate up of mole with it. Damn, I'm hungry now.

Also, I'd have to introduce you to an actual marketplace Tlayuda:

Which looks kinda ugly, (i've heard people call it the "Mexican pizza") but I swear it's nirvana made food, you can't really tell in the picture but it's giant sized, usually one is more than enough for a full grown man.

Then at night we'd find a tamal vendor with a long line, but not normal tamales (I find those kinda dry), but oaxacan tamales:

which are wrapped in banana leaf instead of corn husk thing, and are square and juicy and oh god my mouth is watering.

But, I don't know, this is just off the top of my head, I'd have to think about it.

Jan 28, 2013#210

Gilgamesh

Calleja said:
Well I don't think anyone can visit Mexico without experiencing true tacos al pastor, which have actually moorish/arabic origins which you notice in the similarity to shawarma/kebabs:

They're entirely different by now, of course , and yes, that's a huge slab of pineapple you see on the bottom left, they're usually on top of the meat thing and taqueros have this showy tradition of loping off a bit of pineapple and catching it with the already meated tortilla. That being said I'd say a good 60% or more of us take the pineapple off or just order them without. This is the same dish I linked to earlier.

This hypothetical foreigner would also HAVE to try an original, made-for-hours-and-hours mole:

I know you guys can now get "canned" or "bottled" concentrated mole (we can too in Supermarkets) but please believe me when I say those are pale, pale shadows of a real one made with like 40 fecking different ingredients by a little old lady who got up at 4am so it'd be ready by 2pm. Mole is the sauce ("mole", is actually the original word for "sauce" in nahuatl, but the meaning has changed now, kinda like "curry") and it usually covers a nice piece of chicken, but I swear the best part is the end when you grab a piece of tortilla and just clean the plate up of mole with it. Damn, I'm hungry now.

Also, I'd have to introduce you to an actual marketplace Tlayuda:

Which looks kinda ugly, (i've heard people call it the "Mexican pizza") but I swear it's nirvana made food, you can't really tell in the picture but it's giant sized, usually one is more than enough for a full grown man.

Then at night we'd find a tamal vendor with a long line, but not normal tamales (I find those kinda dry), but oaxacan tamales:

which are wrapped in banana leaf instead of corn husk thing, and are square and juicy and oh god my mouth is watering.

But, I don't know, this is just off the top of my head, I'd have to think about it.

Fuck yes to everything there.

Jan 28, 2013#211

blotsfan

I don't know if it'd beat Chipotle, but that stuff does look great Calleja.

And I'm not trying to troll. I really love Chipotle. Like it's one of my top 5 places to eat.

Jan 28, 2013#212

Ravenpoe

blotsfan said:
I don't know if it'd beat Chipotle, but that stuff does look great Calleja.

And I'm not trying to troll. I really love Chipotle. Like it's one of my top 5 places to eat.

I love Chipotle. They should just call that place "burritos as big as your head"

Jan 28, 2013#213

Gilgamesh

Ravenpoe said:
I love Chipotle. They should just call that place "burritos as big as your head"

Personally I find Freebirds to be superior in options + flavor.

Jan 28, 2013#214

Calleja

Chipotle is great, I've actually been there... but it's really not "mexican food" it's more like "mexican-inspired food", which is I think the point I've been trying to make in this thread all along. And there's obviously nothing wrong with that, we all obviously enjoy non-italian pizza and non-japanese sushi (lots of sushi types have avocado down here), but with mexican food the difference is the average person DOES think mexicans eat like they do in Chipotle, and that I do want to... I dunno, raise awareness to?

Think of me as the LIVESTRONG of mexican food, raising awareness for actual non-americanized mexican delicacies. MEXSTRONG. SHITSTRONG.

Jan 28, 2013#215

sixpackshaker

Ravenpoe said:
I love Chipotle. They should just call that place "burritos as big as your head"

I wish, my head is HUGE!

Jan 28, 2013#216

Tress

Gilgamesh said:
Personally I find Freebirds to be superior in options + flavor.

What is this "Freebirds", and why don't I have one near me?[DOUBLEPOST=1359409781][/DOUBLEPOST]Just Googled it... *drooooool*

Jan 28, 2013#217

sixpackshaker

Tress said:
What is this "Freebirds", and why don't I have one near me?

They are growing. Just a few years ago they only had two locations in College Station. Since they are expanding and I live fairly close to College Station... I want to know why there is not one near me either.

Jan 28, 2013#218

GasBandit

They've spread from Missouri to California. Hopefully soon you can all taste what Chipotle was trying to accomplish.

Jan 28, 2013#219

Frank

Everything I've read in this thread has lead me to believe that JULIO'S BARRIO is the most authentic Mexican food I could ever hope to eat.

20 bucks for a couple of fajitas? YES PLEASE!

Jan 28, 2013#220

Calleja

(fajitas are tex-mex not mexican)

Jan 28, 2013#221

Frank

What's that? JULIO'S BARRIO serves Coronas upside down in a big lime margarita?

Isn't that the national beverage of Mexico?

Jan 28, 2013#222

Calleja

Frank said:
What's that? JULIO'S BARRIO serves Coronas upside down in a big lime margarita?

Isn't that the national beverage of Mexico?

It..... actually is, yeah. Corona is as big as Coca-Cola down here.

And, at least until a few years ago, Mexico consumed more Coca-Cola per capita than the US did.

Jan 28, 2013#223

Frank

Oh Jesus, really? I kind of assumed it was like Fosters in Australia. The garbage you exported to the rest of the world.

Jan 28, 2013#224

Calleja

Wait, I meant Corona, margaritas aren't THAT popular, not as much as beer.

And if you put lemon(lime, whatever the fuck you call the small green ones) on a beer, you'd get your head cut off and your body hanging from an overpass.

Unless you make a michelada:

Then it's ok[DOUBLEPOST=1359411214][/DOUBLEPOST]

Frank said:
Oh Jesus, really? I kind of assumed it was like Fosters in Australia. The garbage you exported to the rest of the world.

I should have said that MODELO, the maker of Corona, is as big as Coke down here... Corona, although very much best seller even here, yes, is definitely not the best beer they make.

Jan 29, 2013#225

Chad Sexington

Frank said:
What's that? JULIO'S BARRIO serves Coronas upside down in a big lime margarita?

Isn't that the national beverage of Mexico?

I legitimately love this drink.

Jan 29, 2013#226

sixpackshaker

The creator of that drink should get a Nobel Prize.

Jan 29, 2013#227

Gared

Le sigh... the Mex left before the announcement from the head of Taco Bell that Cool Ranch is coming soon to a Dorito's Loco Taco near you.

Jan 29, 2013#228

sixpackshaker

Hidden Valley is not an actual ranch.

Jan 29, 2013#229

Yoshimickster

You what is just a weird way to eat a burger? With wheat bread. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't feel right either.

Jan 29, 2013#230

figmentPez

Yoshimickster said:
You what is just a weird way to eat a burger? With wheat bread. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't feel right either.

Just had a burger on wheat bread for lunch, and it was (as usual) amazing. If this is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Jan 29, 2013#231

Gared

Yoshimickster said:
You what is just a weird way to eat a burger? With wheat bread. It doesn't taste bad, but it doesn't feel right either.

Instead of calling it a burger when eating off of sliced bread, call it a patty melt. It feels less weird that way, though I believe the more common type of bread used for a patty melt is dark rye, not whole wheat.[DOUBLEPOST=1359490927][/DOUBLEPOST]

sixpackshaker said:
Hidden Valley is not an actual ranch.

I think it may be more accurate to say that, instead, Hidden Valley is only an actual ranch for certain values of Hidden Valley and certain values of ranch.

Hidden Valley Ranch, WA

Jan 29, 2013#232

Covar

You know what's awesome for burgers? Pretzel buns.

Jan 29, 2013#233

sixpackshaker

Bagels make awesomer buns.

Jan 29, 2013#234

figmentPez

I've also had burgers on waffles, blueberry bagels, english muffins, sourdough, tortillas, naan and hawaiian sweet rolls. There's a lot of types of bread that burgers taste good on.

I've yet to try a croissant, though. Or a doughnut. Or a cinnamon roll.

Jan 29, 2013#235

Yoshimickster

They really do, my favorite are those awesome onion bagels.

Now with wheat bread its not the taste its mostly how I have a history of my burgers slipping out of the bread. Buns and bagels though are more secure which I like in a sandwich.

figmentPez said:
I've yet to try a croissant, though. Or a doughnut. Or a cinnamon roll.

Is that illegal? I feel like thats illegal. What am I thinking of?

Jan 29, 2013#236

jwhouk

Doughnuts are what variants of the Lutherburger are made out of.

The one main component of the Lutherburger (named for the late Luther Vandross) was that, instead of putting all the cheese and burger patties on a bun, you put it on a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

I have never had the urge to have a hamburger of any kind on a doughnut. I've had them on bagels, though.

Jan 29, 2013#237

GasBandit

I'm too afraid of what would become of me once I had tasted the Luther to actually allow myself to taste it even once.

Jan 29, 2013#238

Ravenpoe

GasBandit said:
I'm too afraid of what would become of me once I had tasted the Luther to actually allow myself to taste it even once.

You can't handle the itis?

Jan 29, 2013#239

GasBandit

Ravenpoe said:
You can't handle the itis?

I'm afraid I'd become a male version of Janet O'Siren.

Jan 29, 2013#240

blotsfan

While we're being judgemental about food, I just wanna throw this one out:

Bagels other than garlic should not exist.

Jan 29, 2013#241

strawman

Yoshimickster said:
I have a history of my burgers slipping out of the bread.

Blame Obama.

http://thanks-obama.tumblr.com/post/39470519392/thanks-for-the-free-hamburger-obama

Jan 29, 2013#242

Frank

GasBandit said:
I'm too afraid of what would become of me once I had tasted the Luther to actually allow myself to taste it even once.

It's delicious.

I did it once to try it, learned just how ridiculous delicious it was and vowed to never eat it again for the same reason you won't eat it. I would weigh 700 pounds before I could stop.

Jan 29, 2013#243

GasBandit

blotsfan said:
While we're being judgemental about food, I just wanna throw this one out:

Bagels other than garlic should not exist.

I assume you've never experienced the mindblowing wonder that is the potato bagel.

Jan 29, 2013#244

blotsfan

Never heard of it. Looks like it'd be good if you put some garlic on it.

Jan 29, 2013#245

figmentPez

My problem has never been liking one thing so much I can't stop. It's liking so many things I can't eat everything I have a craving for.

Jan 29, 2013#246

Cajungal

figmentPez said:
My problem has never been liking one thing so much I can't stop. It's liking so many things I can't eat everything I have a craving for.

So true. I love too many things. People laugh at me at lunchtime at work because all I talk about is people's lunches. "Ooh that looks good--what did you make? Where do you get that??"

Jan 29, 2013#247

Chad Sexington

I loooove to cook so I'm always excited to see what people made so I can try to find a recipe (or get theirs) and make it myself. Not to brag, but I am becoming quite a good cook. It's wonderful!

Jan 29, 2013#248

jwhouk

Speaking of burgers: I just had one. Turkey burger, grilled to well done, with a slice of American cheese, some ketchup and light ranch dressing, on whole wheat Sandwich Thins. And crinkle-cut fries.

How did I eat it? One bite at a time, y'all. One bite at a time.

Jan 29, 2013#249

Gilgamesh

jwhouk said:
Speaking of burgers: I just had one. Turkey burger, grilled to well done, with a slice of American cheese, some ketchup and light ranch dressing, on whole wheat Sandwich Thins. And crinkle-cut fries.

How did I eat it? One bite at a time, y'all. One bite at a time.

Personally love Turkey Burgers teriyaki style. Nice grilled Pineapple Slice + Sauce mmmmm!

Feb 1, 2013#250

Yoshimickster

One food that takes skill to not eat messily is a hard-shelled taco. Bite at the wrong angle, and the stuff will aaaaaaaaaaaall fall out and you will be the fool. YOU WILL BE THE FOOL!

Feb 1, 2013#251

jwhouk

One tip about eating burgers - don't eat the ones you get at gas stations.

Feb 1, 2013#252

Ravenpoe

jwhouk said:
One tip about eating burgers - don't eat the ones you get at gas stations.

The closest burger joint to me is a Hardees (That's Carl's Jr to anyone outside the south) attached to a gas station.

Feb 1, 2013#253

jwhouk

I'm talking those that are solely gas stations, not add-ons.

Feb 2, 2013#254

Gared

Though to be fair, the burgers (and the rest of the food as well) from my local McChevron StationDonald's are horrible.

Feb 2, 2013#255

Yoshimickster

How bad are they? Like just bad flavor, space-worms, or both?

Feb 2, 2013#256

Gared

Yoshimickster said:
How bad are they? Like just bad flavor, space-worms, or both?

Just bad flavor and bad execution. They've never actually made me sick, which is amazing considering my IBS, but the employees at that location don't seem to like to season the meat like they're supposed to, so it's bland. And they seem to have a hard time with that whole "filter the oil once a week" thing, so the fries are always extra nasty. And they have a habit of not always cooking the nuggets as long as they should, so they're slightly soggy instead of nice and crisp. Plus they always seem to be able to fuck up even the simplest of orders.

Feb 2, 2013#257

Yoshimickster

UGH! Good to know.

Nuggets are definitely a guilty pleasure for me, I know they are absolute horrible and made from old fat chickens but they be TASTY!

Also I nothing KFC. Just bland, bland chicken if you ask me.

Feb 2, 2013#258

Gared

Yoshimickster said:
UGH! Good to know.

Nuggets are definitely a guilty pleasure for me, I know they are absolute horrible and made from old fat chickens but they be TASTY!

Also I nothing KFC. Just bland, bland chicken if you ask me.

KFC used to be good, but they made them stop frying the chicken in partially hydrogenated soybean oil, and it's sucked ever since.[DOUBLEPOST=1359865876][/DOUBLEPOST]Coincidentally, or not really, that's the same reason the quality of McDonald's fries went down. Once we were forced to stop frying them in beef tallow we switched to PHSO, and then they had to stop using that and now the fries suck donkey balls.

Feb 2, 2013#259

Yoshimickster

McDonald's fries are WEIRD in my opinion. Depending on the conditions be it refrigeration or just leaving them out a while their texture changes almost completely even more than normal foods.

You know whats great after a chilling though? Garlic bread. I don't know why, but it just the moisture of the fridge just brings out the flavor!

Feb 3, 2013#260

Bowielee

I hate McDonalds fries. They're just plain gross. They taste like over salted cardboard. If I have to eat fast food, my favorite place is Wendy's. It's actually a good thing that the one near my house closed and was repaced with a Subway.

Feb 3, 2013#261

Gilgamesh

Bowielee said:
I hate McDonalds fries. They're just plain gross. They taste like over salted cardboard. If I have to eat fast food, my favorite place is Wendy's. It's actually a good thing that the one near my house closed and was repaced with a Subway.

Certain McDonald's food have actually been found to contain traces of cardboard.

(I read some articles about this a while back and now I can't find them. I wonder if McDonald's lawyers had them taken down....)

Feb 3, 2013#262

Yoshimickster

Bowielee said:
I hate McDonalds fries. They're just plain gross. They taste like over salted cardboard. If I have to eat fast food, my favorite place is Wendy's. It's actually a good thing that the one near my house closed and was repaced with a Subway.

THATS IT! Cardboard taste! Plus unlike GOOD fries that you get at restaurant they don't get all moist and wondeful when you put them in the fridge as well as somehow saltier. McDonald's fries just go cardboardish.

Feb 3, 2013#263

WasabiPoptart

Yoshimickster said:
Also I nothing KFC. Just bland, bland chicken if you ask me.

I quit eating KFC thanks to the one on Rte 30 in Hammonton. I went in there once to pick up a bucket of chicken for dinner at my parents' house because my mom wanted to use a coupon she had. There were so many flies in that place!! It was disgusting. After that I can't even think about KFC without feeling nauseous.

Feb 3, 2013#264

Yoshimickster

WasabiPoptart said:
I quit eating KFC thanks to the one on Rte 30 in Hammonton. I went in there once to pick up a bucket of chicken for dinner at my parents' house because my mom wanted to use a coupon she had. There were so many flies in that place!! It was disgusting. After that I can't even think about KFC without feeling nauseous.

I know, that place is AWFUL! My friend's mom used to work there and would retell her horror stories of the place.

Feb 3, 2013#265

Bowielee

I used to work at a Hardee's, and I still liked their food OK after that. EXCEPT their fried chicken. I was the only employee over 18, so I had to work the chicken station. I'll never eat that stuff.... like ever.

Feb 3, 2013#266

figmentPez

What does being over 18 have to do with cooking chicken?

Feb 3, 2013#267

strawman

Perhaps the rotisserie ovens were considered heavy equipment.

Feb 3, 2013#268

Bowielee

It's a liability issue because you're working with raw chicken. Danger of E-coli.

Feb 3, 2013#269

Ravenpoe

I don't even think Hardees carry fried chicken anymore.

Feb 4, 2013#270

GasBandit

Yoshimickster said:
One food that takes skill to not eat messily is a hard-shelled taco. Bite at the wrong angle, and the stuff will aaaaaaaaaaaall fall out and you will be the fool. YOU WILL BE THE FOOL!

This is why Taco Bell invented the double decker taco. Got a hard taco? Slather some refried beans on a flour tortilla, place around the corn taco shell. Bam.. Broken pieces STAY WHERE THEY ARE.

Feb 4, 2013#271

Shakey

jwhouk said:
One tip about eating burgers - don't eat the ones you get at gas stations.

Every once in a while I get an urge to eat one. I don't know what it is about them, but I kind of like them.

Feb 4, 2013#272

Gared

GasBandit said:
This is why Taco Bell invented the double decker taco. Got a hard taco? Slather some refried beans on a flour tortilla, place around the corn taco shell. Bam.. Broken pieces STAY WHERE THEY ARE.

Mmm... double decker taco supreme, with one packet each of hot and fire sauce. So tasty.

Feb 4, 2013#273

Covar

jwhouk said:
I'm talking those that are solely gas stations, not add-ons.

what about Sheetz?

Feb 4, 2013#274

jwhouk

I know not of what you speak.

Feb 4, 2013#275

LordRendar

Covar said:
what about Sheetz?

I always get the Sheetz after eating a gas station burger.

Feb 4, 2013#276

sixpackshaker

LordRendar said:
I always get the Sheetz after eating a gas station burger.

Then pray that you make the remaining 2 hours of your drive...

Feb 9, 2013#277

Yoshimickster

I like making burritos but I either put too much stuff in it, or the tortilla breaks apart. So I either am too eager or too unlucky. Hows your burrito luck?

Feb 9, 2013#278

Cajungal

I'm terrible at making burritos. Good thing I prefer tacos.

Feb 9, 2013#279

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Cajungal said:
I'm terrible at making burritos. Good thing I prefer tacos.

Is this all a euphemism?

Feb 9, 2013#280

Cajungal

Bumble the Boy Wonder said:
Is this all a euphemism?

Everything is always a euphemism.

Feb 9, 2013#281

Bumble the Boy Wonder

Cajungal said:
Everything is always a euphemism.

..You just blew my mind

Also, my mind is a euphemism.

Feb 9, 2013#282

Yoshimickster

And that reminds me of how there is a fetish for every single thing that has ever existed. I'm not grossed out...more or less impressed by how amazing our world is.

Feb 9, 2013#283

Cajungal

We are nothing if not creative.

Feb 9, 2013#284

Yoshimickster

Just think...somewhere out in the world there is a guy turned on by a mail-box. Humanity.

Feb 9, 2013#285

Cajungal

It's just a semi-circular vagina... and some guys can't resist a red flag.

Feb 9, 2013#286

Yoshimickster

Tell me a guy who can resist a red flag and you got a guy who doesn't exist. LORD I'm drunk.

Back to food, I don't know who makes Trader Joe's Burritos but they know what the FUCK they are doing.

Feb 10, 2013#287

North_Ranger

I have an acquaintance who looks downright disgusted if I ever use the phrase "fish taco" in his presence.

Feb 10, 2013#288

sixpackshaker

The first time a waiter told me that their restaurant sold "fish tacos," I spit out my iced tea.

Feb 13, 2013#289

figmentPez

March 7th

Feb 13, 2013#290

Gared

Two words: Fish McBites.

Just when you think McDonald's couldn't get any worse. Oh, who am I kidding. They can always get worse.

Feb 13, 2013#291

Yoshimickster

Does anyone else find it weird how the dorito taco came out AFTER Kim Possible was on the air? You'd think they would've done a cross promotional deal or somethin'.

Feb 14, 2013#292

GasBandit

Yoshimickster said:
Does anyone else find it weird how the dorito taco came out AFTER Kim Possible was on the air? You'd think they would've done a cross promotional deal or somethin'.

Seems to me that a partnership with Taco Bueno would have been a better fit.

Mar 5, 2013#293

figmentPez

Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos have been bumped up a day. They will now be available tomorrow, March 6th

Mar 6, 2013#294

HCGLNS

Gared said:
Two words: Fish McBites.

Just when you think McDonald's couldn't get any worse. Oh, who am I kidding. They can always get worse.

Mar 6, 2013#295

Silent Bob

North_Ranger said:
I have an acquaintance who looks downright disgusted if I ever use the phrase "fish taco" in his presence.

Mar 7, 2013#296

GasBandit

HCGLNS said:
80s

I refuse to believe Jason Alexander EVER had hair. Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope...

Forums