I'm bored with work and life in general...
- Thread starter Mathias
- Start date
- Status
O
ozi
Maybe you sou should give more to others. Give some charity. Be giving .
Sententious bot?
Still working in biopharma. I actually find I do like it much better than academics. Things move at a faster pace, although I'm getting sick of working 50-70 hour weeks.
For the most part it's been the same old, same old though - even with the new baby around (that's three total in my house for those keeping score). Get up, work, get home, play with kids, get on the computer, read, go to sleep. I'm literally living for the weekends where I can actually sleep in and unwind. Generally, I get together with some buddies every Sunday afternoon and play some pick up puck at the local rink (it's good to be friends with the guy who runs the joint).
As far as hobbies go, I've been putting off buying an old beat up Jeep until we sell our house (for obvious reasons).
Eh, I've kinda come to grips with the reality that in 50 or so years I'm going to die, and in about three or so generations, my great-great grandkids won't even remember my name. On the bright side I tried to think about what it was like when I was dead for 14 billion years before I was born. I didn't complain much about it then, so I figure I won't complain much about it when I blip out again.
For the most part it's been the same old, same old though - even with the new baby around (that's three total in my house for those keeping score). Get up, work, get home, play with kids, get on the computer, read, go to sleep. I'm literally living for the weekends where I can actually sleep in and unwind. Generally, I get together with some buddies every Sunday afternoon and play some pick up puck at the local rink (it's good to be friends with the guy who runs the joint).
As far as hobbies go, I've been putting off buying an old beat up Jeep until we sell our house (for obvious reasons).
Eh, I've kinda come to grips with the reality that in 50 or so years I'm going to die, and in about three or so generations, my great-great grandkids won't even remember my name. On the bright side I tried to think about what it was like when I was dead for 14 billion years before I was born. I didn't complain much about it then, so I figure I won't complain much about it when I blip out again.
GasBandit
Staff member
T
tzuzu
What is Happiness?
by Daisaku Ikeda
What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy. Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire: to become happy.
Yet, there are few ideals as difficult to grasp as that of happiness. In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and unhappiness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is.
A young friend of mine once spent a long time trying to work out what happiness was, particularly happiness for women. When she first thought about happiness, she saw it as a matter of becoming financially secure or getting married. (The view in Japanese society then was that happiness for a woman was only to be found in marriage.) But looking at friends who were married, she realized that marriage didn’t necessarily guarantee happiness.
She saw couples who had been passionately in love suffering from discord soon after their wedding. She saw women who had married men with money or status but who fought constantly with their husbands.
Gradually, she realized that the secret of happiness lay in building a strong inner self that no trial or hardship could ruin. She saw that happiness for anyone—man or woman—does not come simply from having a formal education, from wealth or from marriage. It begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one’s own weaknesses. Only then does it become possible to lead a truly happy life and enjoy a successful marriage.
She finally told me, “Now I can say with confidence that happiness doesn’t exist in the past or in the future. It only exists within our state of life right now, here in the present, as we face the challenges of daily life.”
I agree entirely. You yourself know best whether you are feeling joy or struggling with suffering. These things are not known to other people. Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.
Happiness is not a life without problems, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way. There is no such thing as a problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we experience and react to our problems depends on us.
Buddhism teaches that we are each responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Our vitality—the amount of energy or “life-force” we have—is in fact the single most important factor in determining whether or not we are happy.
True happiness is to be found within, in the state of our hearts. It does not exist on the far side of some distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. However much you try, you can never run away from yourself. And if you are weak, suffering will follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you don’t challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within.
Happiness is to be found in the dynamism and energy of your own life as you struggle to overcome one obstacle after another. This is why I believe that a person who is active and free from fear is truly happy.
The challenges we face in life can be compared to a tall mountain, rising before a mountain climber. For someone who has not trained properly, whose muscles and reflexes are weak and slow, every inch of the climb will be filled with terror and pain. The exact same climb, however, will be a thrilling journey for someone who is prepared, whose legs and arms have been strengthened by constant training. With each step forward and up, beautiful new views will come into sight.
My teacher used to talk about two kinds of happiness—“relative” and “absolute” happiness. Relative happiness is happiness that depends on things outside ourselves: friends and family, surroundings, the size of our home or family income.
This is what we feel when a desire is fulfilled, or when something we have longed for is obtained. While the happiness such things bring us is certainly real, the fact is that none of this lasts forever. Things change. People change. This kind of happiness shatters easily when external conditions alter.
Relative happiness is also based on comparison with others. We may feel this kind of happiness at having a newer or bigger home than our neighbors. But that feeling turns to misery the moment they start making new additions to theirs!
Absolute happiness, on the other hand, is something we must find within. It means establishing a state of life in which we are never defeated by trials, and where just being alive is a source of great joy. This persists no matter what we might be lacking, or what might happen around us. A deep sense of joy is something that can only exist in the innermost reaches of our life, and which cannot be destroyed by any external forces. It is eternal and inexhaustible.
This kind of satisfaction is to be found in consistent and repeated effort, so that we can say, “Today, again, I did my very best. Today, again, I have no regrets. Today, again, I won.” The accumulated result of such efforts is a life of great victory.
What we should compare is not ourselves against others. We should compare who we are today against who we were yesterday, who we are today against who we will be tomorrow. While this may seem simple and obvious, true happiness is found in a life of constant advancement. And, the same worries that could have made us miserable, can actually be a source of growth when we approach them with courage and wisdom.
One friend whose dramatic life proved this was Natalia Sats, who founded the first children’s theater in Moscow. In the 1930s, she and her husband were marked by the Soviet Union’s secret police. Even though they were guilty of no crime, her husband was arrested and executed and she was sent to a prison camp in the frozen depths of Siberia.
After she recovered from the initial shock, she started looking at her situation, not with despair, but for opportunity. She realized that many of her fellow prisoners had special skills and talents. She began organizing a “university,” encouraging the prisoners to share their knowledge. “You. You are a scientist. Teach us about science. You are an artist. Talk to us about art.”
In this way, the boredom and terror of the prison camp were transformed into the joy of learning and teaching. Eventually, Mrs. Sats even made use of her own unique talents to organize a theater group. She survived the five-year prison sentence, and dedicated the rest of her long life to creating children’s theater. When we met for the first time in Moscow in 1981, she was already in her eighties. She was as radiant and buoyant as a young girl. Her smile was the smile of someone who has triumphed over the hardships of life. Hers is the kind of spirit I had in mind when I wrote the following poem on haappiness:
A person with a vast heart is happy.
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit.
A person with a strong will is happy.
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.
A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savor life’s depths
while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.
A person with a pure mind is happy.
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.
by Daisaku Ikeda
What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy. Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire: to become happy.
Yet, there are few ideals as difficult to grasp as that of happiness. In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and unhappiness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is.
A young friend of mine once spent a long time trying to work out what happiness was, particularly happiness for women. When she first thought about happiness, she saw it as a matter of becoming financially secure or getting married. (The view in Japanese society then was that happiness for a woman was only to be found in marriage.) But looking at friends who were married, she realized that marriage didn’t necessarily guarantee happiness.
She saw couples who had been passionately in love suffering from discord soon after their wedding. She saw women who had married men with money or status but who fought constantly with their husbands.
Gradually, she realized that the secret of happiness lay in building a strong inner self that no trial or hardship could ruin. She saw that happiness for anyone—man or woman—does not come simply from having a formal education, from wealth or from marriage. It begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one’s own weaknesses. Only then does it become possible to lead a truly happy life and enjoy a successful marriage.
She finally told me, “Now I can say with confidence that happiness doesn’t exist in the past or in the future. It only exists within our state of life right now, here in the present, as we face the challenges of daily life.”
I agree entirely. You yourself know best whether you are feeling joy or struggling with suffering. These things are not known to other people. Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.
Happiness is not a life without problems, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way. There is no such thing as a problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we experience and react to our problems depends on us.
Buddhism teaches that we are each responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Our vitality—the amount of energy or “life-force” we have—is in fact the single most important factor in determining whether or not we are happy.
True happiness is to be found within, in the state of our hearts. It does not exist on the far side of some distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. However much you try, you can never run away from yourself. And if you are weak, suffering will follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you don’t challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within.
Happiness is to be found in the dynamism and energy of your own life as you struggle to overcome one obstacle after another. This is why I believe that a person who is active and free from fear is truly happy.
The challenges we face in life can be compared to a tall mountain, rising before a mountain climber. For someone who has not trained properly, whose muscles and reflexes are weak and slow, every inch of the climb will be filled with terror and pain. The exact same climb, however, will be a thrilling journey for someone who is prepared, whose legs and arms have been strengthened by constant training. With each step forward and up, beautiful new views will come into sight.
My teacher used to talk about two kinds of happiness—“relative” and “absolute” happiness. Relative happiness is happiness that depends on things outside ourselves: friends and family, surroundings, the size of our home or family income.
This is what we feel when a desire is fulfilled, or when something we have longed for is obtained. While the happiness such things bring us is certainly real, the fact is that none of this lasts forever. Things change. People change. This kind of happiness shatters easily when external conditions alter.
Relative happiness is also based on comparison with others. We may feel this kind of happiness at having a newer or bigger home than our neighbors. But that feeling turns to misery the moment they start making new additions to theirs!
Absolute happiness, on the other hand, is something we must find within. It means establishing a state of life in which we are never defeated by trials, and where just being alive is a source of great joy. This persists no matter what we might be lacking, or what might happen around us. A deep sense of joy is something that can only exist in the innermost reaches of our life, and which cannot be destroyed by any external forces. It is eternal and inexhaustible.
This kind of satisfaction is to be found in consistent and repeated effort, so that we can say, “Today, again, I did my very best. Today, again, I have no regrets. Today, again, I won.” The accumulated result of such efforts is a life of great victory.
What we should compare is not ourselves against others. We should compare who we are today against who we were yesterday, who we are today against who we will be tomorrow. While this may seem simple and obvious, true happiness is found in a life of constant advancement. And, the same worries that could have made us miserable, can actually be a source of growth when we approach them with courage and wisdom.
One friend whose dramatic life proved this was Natalia Sats, who founded the first children’s theater in Moscow. In the 1930s, she and her husband were marked by the Soviet Union’s secret police. Even though they were guilty of no crime, her husband was arrested and executed and she was sent to a prison camp in the frozen depths of Siberia.
After she recovered from the initial shock, she started looking at her situation, not with despair, but for opportunity. She realized that many of her fellow prisoners had special skills and talents. She began organizing a “university,” encouraging the prisoners to share their knowledge. “You. You are a scientist. Teach us about science. You are an artist. Talk to us about art.”
In this way, the boredom and terror of the prison camp were transformed into the joy of learning and teaching. Eventually, Mrs. Sats even made use of her own unique talents to organize a theater group. She survived the five-year prison sentence, and dedicated the rest of her long life to creating children’s theater. When we met for the first time in Moscow in 1981, she was already in her eighties. She was as radiant and buoyant as a young girl. Her smile was the smile of someone who has triumphed over the hardships of life. Hers is the kind of spirit I had in mind when I wrote the following poem on haappiness:
A person with a vast heart is happy.
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit.
A person with a strong will is happy.
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.
A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savor life’s depths
while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.
A person with a pure mind is happy.
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.
Is there a tl;dr version?
fade
Staff member
Somehow I missed this thread the first time around. Mathias, I always knew "we weren't so different, you and I", but this more or less describes me to a tee. I thought I was bored in academia, but, damn, I'm 3x as bored in industry, plus I'm strapped to a desk 8-5. At least in academia if it was 3pm and I felt like going home, I went home. The only thing industry has going for it is money. I make about twice as much as a research scientist in oil and gas than I did as a professor. I miss the life of being a professor, to be honest. I miss students. I'm sick of easy, constrained industry R&D that I know I could improve it was allowed.
Mostly, I regret being so straight-laced when I was younger. People talk about these crazy things they've done, and I'm jealous. I wish I'd done some of that crap instead of staying focused and getting good grades. All that after-school special shit loses its shiny as soon as its done, but you get to carry that one time you did body shots off a Mexican hooker in TJ forever. Now, the moment has passed, and there's no reset button. But I do want some kind of adventure. It always feels like I'm waiting for that moment when things actually start. Changing up life is at least interesting, but my wife says, "no more".
Mostly, I regret being so straight-laced when I was younger. People talk about these crazy things they've done, and I'm jealous. I wish I'd done some of that crap instead of staying focused and getting good grades. All that after-school special shit loses its shiny as soon as its done, but you get to carry that one time you did body shots off a Mexican hooker in TJ forever. Now, the moment has passed, and there's no reset button. But I do want some kind of adventure. It always feels like I'm waiting for that moment when things actually start. Changing up life is at least interesting, but my wife says, "no more".
I am not doing as well as Tin... but I'm still having a good time through 20's-30's&40's...
ElJuski
Staff member
Tin posts in a thread, flip a coin. Heads, it's probably something lecherous and creepy.
But as far as, RE: the thread, no time to be bored yet, being in my mid 20's, and finally getting going in my career (albeit a weird version of it). For me it's been a pretty good life lesson to try new things, branch out, and not worry about crashing down. Of course I was privileged enough to get a "re-do" at college to get my teaching stuff, but at least I'm putting it to use now, right? Right?
But as far as, RE: the thread, no time to be bored yet, being in my mid 20's, and finally getting going in my career (albeit a weird version of it). For me it's been a pretty good life lesson to try new things, branch out, and not worry about crashing down. Of course I was privileged enough to get a "re-do" at college to get my teaching stuff, but at least I'm putting it to use now, right? Right?
And now you take your cigarettes two at a time, apparently.
When you've got four fingers, one seems paltry, and three seems excessive.
ElJuski
Staff member
I'm in flavor country.
BananaHands
Staff member
I miss the NSFW forum. I can never find it.
Search for "beautiful girls" or "trilby"
O
Old fart
I'm like Mathias, but I'm 55 now. I always had good jobs, plenty of money, a few good friends, three good kids, nice homes. Plenty of people would kill for what I had, but I was mostly bored with life. I drifted from job to job but it never solved the problem for long. So 6 years ago I quit the rat race, came to live in another country, learned a new language and started two new businesses. That was a hell of a challenge, for a while, but guess what? Now it's all running smoothly and I'm bored again.
I actually don't regret quitting the rat race. I do have a great life, I can go wherever I want whenever I want and I just booked up another 7 week adventure across Asia. Travelling works for me, I'm never bored when I travel, but you can't travel all the time. I do suggest, Mathias, a challenging adventure. There are lots of websites that do adventure holidays. Go somewhere poor and very different. It won't solve the problem but having a really deep understanding of how insanely lucky we are to have this problem is very helpful.
I think the answer is that some of us - probably a lot of people - just get bored. I guess somehow you have to find the answer inside yourself, not at work. As several people have said, I suspect the answer lies in hobbies. Later in life I discovered that I have a creative side that my career never really gave me a chance to satisfy. I love making stuff, and day to day I am usually busy with lots of projects, but I do still have an underlying feeling of boredom.
So don't expect a change of job or career to fix the problem for very long. Be careful not to let boredom lead you to make a big mistake in your life. Without money, life would be shit as well as boring. Some of my friends are beginning to find that grandchildren are very important to them, so be careful not to mess that up.
We evolved over millions of years to hunt and compete and have a pretty difficult life. We are not yet really well adapted to this easy life. It's not a comfortable place for some of us. In the rich countries like ours, life just is a bit boring at the moment. I guess we should be thankful and hope it stays that way.
I actually don't regret quitting the rat race. I do have a great life, I can go wherever I want whenever I want and I just booked up another 7 week adventure across Asia. Travelling works for me, I'm never bored when I travel, but you can't travel all the time. I do suggest, Mathias, a challenging adventure. There are lots of websites that do adventure holidays. Go somewhere poor and very different. It won't solve the problem but having a really deep understanding of how insanely lucky we are to have this problem is very helpful.
I think the answer is that some of us - probably a lot of people - just get bored. I guess somehow you have to find the answer inside yourself, not at work. As several people have said, I suspect the answer lies in hobbies. Later in life I discovered that I have a creative side that my career never really gave me a chance to satisfy. I love making stuff, and day to day I am usually busy with lots of projects, but I do still have an underlying feeling of boredom.
So don't expect a change of job or career to fix the problem for very long. Be careful not to let boredom lead you to make a big mistake in your life. Without money, life would be shit as well as boring. Some of my friends are beginning to find that grandchildren are very important to them, so be careful not to mess that up.
We evolved over millions of years to hunt and compete and have a pretty difficult life. We are not yet really well adapted to this easy life. It's not a comfortable place for some of us. In the rich countries like ours, life just is a bit boring at the moment. I guess we should be thankful and hope it stays that way.
Nice. Thanks for the input!
My wife and I are moving in June, so that should shake up my monkey tree a bit. I've gotten her approval for the materials, and I'm planning to keep myself occupied over the next year with several house projects. My first and foremost is building the kids a swingset/clubhouse in the backyard. Next on the list is going to be fixing up the unfinished basement into a game room. I mentioned that my buddies and I like to get together on Sundays, well I figure this would be a perfect hang out where we can shoot some pool and play some poker. I'm planning on building my pool table from scratch, down to carving the wood legs.
As for traveling - I love traveling, but lately (for the reasons above plus work hours) haven't been able to go anywhere. I'm pretty stoked about going to Europe next month, but it's one of those family visiting vacations; not really going to do that much sight seeing other than what's available locally. I'm looking forward to when the kids are in their teens and they can enjoy places other than amusement parks.
O
Old fart
Sounds like a great plan. Having things to look forward to and work towards was what always kept me going. You have plenty of time, enjoy the kids, fix up some houses, don't take work too seriously. But retire while you are still fit and visit some places in the world where life is not so easy. And try to do it the hard way, not the 5 star way. I still get bored, but I feel lucky, and maybe a bit guilty, but I no longer think of it as a problem. I'm looking forward to my next adventure.
fade
Staff member
It kind of IS either/or at this point though. What's done is done, after all.It's not an either/or proposition you know..
I spent my 20's fucking around (and a fair amount of my 30's), and I'm still doing all right
- Status