Introduce Yourself!

tinabeebz

tinabeebz

Fun Fact: In high school, I was the "Head Beard Builder" for our Fiddler on the Roof production. So if you don't have a beard and you can't grow a beard IT'S OKAY I'M HERE TO HELP

 
tinabeebz

tinabeebz

North_Ranger said:
Okay, the following question will determine the quality of our relationship for the rest of eternity:

Pants. Yes or no?
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NOPEEEE. I exclusively wear dresses because I'm lazy and they're comfy and I'm dressed in one garment, BOOM.
A bunch of girls and I did "No Pants November" a couple years back and now it's "No Pants Ever"
 
Dave

Dave

Staff member
stienman said:
You'll eventually learn about this. Check out the reviews, in particular.
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Oh God the reviews!!

Like a lot of guys, I sometimes have trouble getting a good crotch sweat going. Wrapping my nethers in plastic wrap and a dozen freshly baked Hot Pockets only goes so far. So, as soon as I saw this magnificent product I knew I must have it. The friendly orange hue and easy-to-use velcro attachments greatly appealed to me, and I was very pleased to see the roomy 54" waistline!

The first time I tried it I was simply amazed. I had never been so relaxed as I felt my own musky brine soak into every hairy crevice and all the pores on my considerable backside opened up. I fell into a deep meditative trance as my ears were soothed by the gentle sprinkle of ball sweat rolling down my glistening hammy thighs and dropping into a small tepid puddle on the floor. I sat there luxuriating in the cozy warmth of my nethers, slowly saturating my living room couch, and came to only when the depth of my relaxation allowed a small burst of flatulence to rise up and out of the Sauna Pants in a series of hot humid bubbles that tickled my lobster-red skin as they rolled out.

Now on freezing mornings the first thing I do after heaving myself out of bed is slip on my splendid Sauna Pants! Everyone else at the bus stop may be shivering but with my Sauna Pants tightly secured beneath my Utilikilt like a giant orange diaper, I know no fear of cold. When the bus arrives, my sweat-lubed legs slide effortlessly against each other as I waddle for the door. The pungent aroma that arises reminds me of my own healthful vitality. Through either jealousy or appreciation, I am always left with my own seat.
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North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
tinabeebz said:
NOPEEEE. I exclusively wear dresses because I'm lazy and they're comfy and I'm dressed in one garment, BOOM.
A bunch of girls and I did "No Pants November" a couple years back and now it's "No Pants Ever"
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tinabeebz said:
Not sure what a sauna dress is exactly? Unless it's exactly what it sounds like, a dress you wear in the sauna...?
And I never go in saunas, I haven't been to a gym in like three years lolololololol
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Despite your obvious status as an uncouth barbarian (seriously, you never go to a sauna?)... I'm willing to let that slide for your wisdom in forsaking the ways of the pants. Should you ever need a place to sleep while in my neck of the woods, I will feed the cannibal couch bed before your arrival :)

As for you, Bubble181 ... You will come to know my wrath. Please make sure you procreate before that happens, because you won't be able to afterwards.
 
Sparhawk

Sparhawk

Uhmmm, NR, I haven't been in a sauna but once, didn't like it. It felt too much like being outside in Texas on an August afternoon, without the blazing hot breeze to help dry the sweat off of me.
 
North_Ranger

North_Ranger

Staff member
Sparhawk said:
Uhmmm, NR, I haven't been in a sauna but once, didn't like it. It felt too much like being outside in Texas on an August afternoon, without the blazing hot breeze to help dry the sweat off of me.
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That's alright, Sparhawk. I still like you, as long as you don't fall victim to the sauna pants heresy.

Because if that ever happens... oh man, the carnage...
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
Sparhawk said:
Uhmmm, NR, I haven't been in a sauna but once, didn't like it. It felt too much like being outside in Texas on an August afternoon, without the blazing hot breeze to help dry the sweat off of me.
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I think saunas feel different when you live somewhere where the ambient air temperature outside the sauna is the freezing point of mercury, and you need prolonged bouts of torrid, wet heat to bring your core temperature back up and re-moisten your frozen, flaking-off flesh.
 
tinabeebz

tinabeebz

drifter said:
The real question at hand: soft shell or hard shell tacos?
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I hate hard shell tacos (lo siento) BUT I love "authentic" tacos aka not taco bell but the little soft carne asada ones that come from taco trucks or little joints that are open 24/7 and are there to indulge my drunken late night taco needs

and now this talk of Mexican food has left me craving a torta so I'm gonna get one right now YESSSS
 
drifter

drifter

Somewhere out there, a single tear of happiness rolls down the cheek of The Mex, and he knows not why.[DOUBLEPOST=1373583371][/DOUBLEPOST]Also FUCK YEAH TORTAS
 
CrimsonSoul

CrimsonSoul

tinabeebz said:
I hate hard shell tacos (lo siento) BUT I love "authentic" tacos aka not taco bell but the little soft carne asada ones that come from taco trucks or little joints that are open 24/7 and are there to indulge my drunken late night taco needs

and now this talk of Mexican food has left me craving a torta so I'm gonna get one right now YESSSS
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Taco Bell is the most authentic Mexican food ever. It gets the job done for half the price, what can be more Mexican than that?
 
Bubble181

Bubble181

North_Ranger said:
As for you, Bubble181 ... You will come to know my wrath. Please make sure you procreate before that happens, because you won't be able to afterwards.
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Oy! Just vetting her so we know beforehand whether or not it's worthwhile to invest in her. At least without sauna pants she won't be amongst the first against the wall when the revolution comes ;)
 
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