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So yeah, it's been about what, 7-8 months since my split up? I lose track of the time and way too lazy to go looking up the old thread. That's not to say I've been single this whole time. I've had a few hook-ups here and there. Some were a month or two of dating, some were one night/two night stands. I haven't yet fallen in love but I have broken a couple of hearts. One to the point where I got alot of crying, a heartfelt sad letter in the bag of belongings I had left at her place, and more.

Which brings me to one of my points. This girl took me by surprise, some of you may remember her as the "nerdy cosplay cute" girl I met shortly after "Yoga Girl". Everything seemed lined up for success. I finally was in a position to date someone who "on paper" was perfect in every way. I'm sure you're waiting for the "but". As cute as she was, it just wasn't "there" for me physically/mentally. I was actually pretty pissed off about it because I finally found someone that I had "in my mind" been looking for. Yet, I couldn't even will myself to have feelings for her. It was disturbing and frustrating.

After sleeping together a few times, she considered us dating, and I will admit, I didn't dissuade her from that thought. Mostly because I wanted to continue seeing her to see if feelings would develop. That unfortunately, was not the case. After 2 months, I realized it wasn't going to happen. The damage had been done though. She was texting/calling me on a daily basis. Coming over at least 3x a week. Completely and totally infatuated. *sigh* I had to break it off.

I went over and told her that I couldn't see her anymore because I just didn't feel as strongly for her as she felt for me. Flat out. She didn't take it well. She cried and begged and sobbed and bargained. I let her get it all out and left. She continued texting/calling for 2 months and I didn't respond. However, I went through a sexual dry spell in that time, and to my own dismay, gave in to one of her texts.

I told her flat out that there was no chance at us getting back together again, but if she wanted to be FWB I was fine with that. She agreed that was fine and even though I knew better (she obviously wanted to use that as a ploy to try and get back togther emotionally) we began seeing each other again, for that reason alone. This went on another 2-3 months before I realized that I was better off just being alone. So I've now recently gone through the process of telling her that it's over in that department as well.

So what's the point of all this? I'm confused, lost, annoyed, frustrated and overall aggitated. I'm alone. I don't want to be. I'm tired of casual sex/meetings. I spent 7yrs with my ex, with constant casual sex during, and an entire relationship with nothing in common. I want someone who finally gets me. Someone who shares my interests. Someone I can be myself around and not have to play a role/wear a mask. I've tested my hand at online dating, though I wasn't as into it as I could have been I'll admit. I've tried going out to local clubs/bars, but it's never really been my "scene" so the people there are already off to the wrong foot for me.

At my worst points, I have horrible urges to text/call my ex after all this time, see if she's single, and willing to get back together. The thing that stops me everytime, is that I remember that even during our "best times", I was still never happy because I wasn't able to be me and I didn't feel for her the way I wanted to. So luckily I've never gone down that slippery slope, though it doesn't stop me from having the urges.

So here I sit. With text messages from people I'd rather not see. People who would just want a "quicky". People who I just don't have feelings for. All the while wishing I had that one person to go home to. That one person to call up in the middle of the night to rush over and just sleep with, sex or not. That one person who says they love me, and I know it's true because I've been honest with them from day one.

One a freaky note, my ex ex (the first girl I moved out of my home to be with and came out to my parents about) contacted me (she found out my ex and I had broken up) and asked me how I was doing. Curious to see if there was still a spark there, we both met up for drinks and dinner (she lives about 2hrs from where I'm at now). We got a bit drunk, talked about the past, she got pretty misty and admitted that leaving me was probably her biggest regret (which I got IMMENSE satisfaction from) and made out when I dropped her off. We talked about the possibility of making "things work again". Saw her again the next weekend, ended up getting a hotel room together, then didn't do anything because she wanted the chance of us getting back together to be based off emotions/mental and not just lust/physical attraction.

So I came back home, thought long and hard about the entire situation, and realized whatever feelings I may have had for her all those years ago, whithered and died when she left me. So I let her know that was the end of it, and we've remained "text friends" ever since.

For those not asleep/bored, I've read some of the dating situations that my fellow Half-ites have been through, so rest assured, you're not alone and I'm right there with some of you.

I have a whole book full of advice/suggestions that I just burned, having going through a shitstorm of relationship trouble of my own this year. I hope things crystallize for you soon, in the opportunity department. I'd hug you, but I don't want to get stabbed.

I used to tell people that hey, things can only get better right, until once too often that was proven dead God damn wrong so, instead, I'll just wish you luck with things improving. For all of us.

Shegokigo said:

my ex ex contacted me and asked me how I was doing. Curious to see if there was still a spark there, we both met up for drinks and dinner . We got a bit drunk, talked about the past, she got pretty misty and admitted that leaving me was probably her biggest regret (which I got IMMENSE satisfaction from) and made out when I dropped her off. We talked about the possibility of making "things work again". Saw her again the next weekend, ended up getting a hotel room together, then didn't do anything because she wanted the chance of us getting back together to be based off emotions/mental and not just lust/physical attraction.

So I came back home, thought long and hard about the entire situation, and realized whatever feelings I may have had for her all those years ago, whithered and died when she left me. So I let her know that was the end of it, and we've remained "text friends" ever since.

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That's good - I recall that you had some unresolved what-if feelings for her when you were in doubt about your last long term relationship.

Good luck!

Interestingly enough, she texted me two days ago saying that since we decided not to make a relationship of it, we could still have FWB situations.

Yeah, not going down that route again...

On another interesting side note, living completely alone (finally moved out of my brother's place and into my own APT 2 months ago) has really allowed me to explore my deeper, darker emotions and desires in ways I've never had a chance to really revel in and experience in the past when I knew there were others around. It has been so unbinding.... to say the least..... >

Yeah, we need to find you a woman.

Fun Size said:

Yeah, we need to find you a [STRIKE]fresh supply of victims[/STRIKE] woman.

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How weird, I was thinking this exact same thi-

Far be it from me to give actual advice on this, but maybe a good first step would be exploring what you want in a relationship for yourself, and even spend some time separating who you really are from who you and others may want you to be. I know that sounds very nebulous and stupid, but I know when I got jettisoned from a long-term relationship, it took me a while to really understand how much of myself was wrapped up in others' expectations, perceptions, and desires.

I feel your pain, Shegs. How about we both have a shot of whisky over the corpses of our previous relationships?

Shego vs NR in a no holds combat fight to the death. NR fights bare handed. Shego gets a few dozen knives. That's fair.

Piotyr: That actually did take me a while. I jumped into the relationship with "Yoga Girl" way too quick (about one month after my split up) and I realized that I was just jumping through the same old hoops I was before. From her it was about 3 more months before I met "Cosplay girl" and through her I realized that even though she was what I wanted in a relationship, I didn't have the feelings I wanted to for her. So in the back and forth of being alone/with someone, I've really come to understand that what I want, and what I feel for someone are very different depending on the person.

One thing I didn't mention, is that I have a heavy crush on this girl at work right now. I've always had a thing for shorter women, and she's 4 8/9''. I mean I have it HARD. Two problems. One: Getting into a relationship with her would practically be like getting with my ex all over again. We have very little in common and I'd probably have to hide alot about myself to her. Two: She's pregnant and even though we went out on a few dates together, when I asked her if things would going to go further than friendship, she made it clear that while she's pregnant she didn't feel comfortable being more than that. I tried to be understanding, thinking it was a blow-off, but she continued texting/calling/visiting me on an almost daily basis and we continue to go out together when the chance arises.

North_Ranger Wait, you're not talking about your previous recent relationship that was going on are you? You sounded pretty stoked about her.

UDFy-38135539 said:

Shego vs NR in a no holds combat fight to the death. NR fights bare handed. Shego gets a few dozen knives. That's fair.

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First Lady Puffinstuff;450459][QUOTE=UDFy-38135539 said:

Shego vs NR in a no holds combat fight to the death. NR fights bare handed. Shego gets a few dozen knives. That's fair.

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[/QUOTE]

Damn straight, Skippy.

As if I'd be foolish enough to let my numbers be recorded. > That would be like leaving a papertrail from an illegal financial account holding where I receive my contractual payments....

Lesbian, straight, gay, transgendered....doesn't matter. We all want to find that one person that makes us happy and whom we can make happy in return. I was lucky enough to stumble on someone who would put up with my shit 17 years ago and - although there have been some rough patches - we're still here. Right before I met my wife I had given up with women, thinking that I was destined to be alone forever. My right hand and I had already made plans for common-law marriage.

Then, without expecting to, I met Kerri and the rest is history. The lesson? Don't start thinking you'll be alone forever. Don't get so far down that you drive people away with your low self-esteem. Learn to be alone. Go out with friends and have fun, not looking for someone to warm your bed. If it happens it happens. If not, you're still okay with it.

Stay strong and if you need to vent I know of a few hundred people willing to listen....

Shegokigo said:

North_Ranger Wait, you're not talking about your previous recent relationship that was going on are you? You sounded pretty stoked about her.

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Yeah, I am She dumped me two weeks ago, after a long weekend in Helsinki visiting her friends (a nice and funny gay couple). Apparently I am a wonderful person, but she just wasn't in love with me anymore. Whoop-de-fuckin'-doo.

Dave: That's exactly the position I'm in right now. I'm perfectly happy with my current situation (though I still have urges to create another online profile and try that again) and just let time go by. I hang out alot with a group of friends from work and go out from time to time. I find myself considering that cute blonde at the end of the bar at times, yet don't pursue it due to knowing exactly what it'll lead to. That's not exactly the most conducive enviroment to find what I'm looking for. Thanks for the advice though, it's good to know home is still here. I would have never posted this if I didn't think so still.

Ranger: That's the exact reason I was left, both times. Unfortunately what it meant both times was that they wanted to explore other avenues, hence the "loss of love". That's not to say that was your case, just my own personal experiences.

Shego, sorry to hear things have been tough. Still, your making the first and often hardest step in finding love: Putting yourself out there. Yes, things could be better but at least your doing everything you can to FIND it. Some people can't even do that.

Element 117 said:

Shego vs NR in a no holds combat fight to the death. NR fights bare handed. Shego gets a few dozen knives. That's fair.

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If North doesn't get a weapon, he should get to pick the location. Therefore, I propose the fight take place in a boiling hot Sauna.

No, because that counts as a weapon. If he gets to choose a sauna, then Shego gets miniguns.

I don't understand. Is man-sweat super effective now?

Ahhh Natasha how I've missed thee....

Shego: It is normal to feel like that when you were in a such a long relationship. I got lucky like Dave and met someone. You be surprise what you "think" you might be compatible with might not what you wanted. I have dated a couple of girls that I thought would be a "good match" boy.... was I ever wrong on that one.

Chibi: I came to realize that the hard way with "Cosplay Girl". Here was someone with a high sex drive, played WoW (casually), was into Anime, Conventions, gaming, and just all around great to be around. Yet I felt absolutely nothing toward her. It was unbelivable. Yet here's "Pregnant Girl" and I'm just ga-ga over her everytime we go out, and there are very few commonalities.

Go figure.

My god, you're a WASP Husbandyke!

I definitely have the hairstyle going at the moment.

I laughed so hard. Wrong wasp.

Wow.

I do apologize, Shego. I got lucky enough to find someone who is seriously the best parts of every ex, all rolled into one person (plus her own charm)...not kidding. And I already know that when I go on about our relationship, it just makes other people unhappy/jealous/barf/etc, so that's as much as I'll go into that.

Computers, I understand pretty well. Women, I don't do so well with (not consistently, anyway). And trying to run a simulation, then, that involves interactions between two women? Serious data deficiency goin' on there, not sure how I'd make any kind of useful predictions.

I don't know you personally*, just what you've chosen to reveal on the forums. I certainly hope you find a person (or persons) who manages to tickle your hindbrain both from within and without, you sound like someone who deserves both...but I doubt I can be of any direct help, and for that I am sorry.

--Patrick

Shegokigo said:

Chibi: I came to realize that the hard way with "Cosplay Girl". Here was someone with a high sex drive, played WoW (casually), was into Anime, Conventions, gaming, and just all around great to be around. Yet I felt absolutely nothing toward her. It was unbelivable. Yet here's "Pregnant Girl" and I'm just ga-ga over her everytime we go out, and there are very few commonalities.

Go figure.

Click to expand...

Yea. You know the old saying "Opposites attracts" maybe that is true for you. You need a balance to your wild side like Yin and Yang.

You know Shegs, my wife and I have quite a few differences, maybe nothing quite as dramatic as you and your ex but I'm firmly into horror and darker shit, my music I listen to and play is harder and darker than she would normally like... but yet we make it work. She still supports me in everything I do and she trusts me even if she doesn't "get it" or even like it.

Maybe the reason you keep finding yourself going after people different from you is because thats really who you want to be with. Someone who brings different parts of life into yours. You just need someone who can accept you for who you are and not want to change you and vice versa.

Anyway, my 2 cents (and thats really all its worth), but I hope you find that person who drives you crazy and loves you for who you are even if they don't "get it" or like everything you do.

Element 117 said:

I laughed so hard. Wrong wasp.

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Oh I know, I just wanted to brag about my hair :slywink:

Shegokigo;450508][QUOTE=Element 117 said:

I laughed so hard. Wrong wasp.

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Oh I know, I just wanted to brag about my hair :slywink:[/QUOTE]

it was the fact that you knew that made me laugh, so hard. "I want him to know I want him to know."

Well, Sheki, I hope you find someone you can feel for that you can grow into a stable, long term relationship with, that stokes your passion as well as your mind, as so many have said before.

Good luck.

How U doin' Shegs?

Honestly though, I had this huge post written up this afternoon but the boards ate my goddamn post and can't find the motivation to write it all again. Can't believe I forgot to CTRL+C. It was an epic post, you know, the kind you'd read it with a sideshow bob voice, alas vbulletin will continue to suck a dick. Thus I have resorted to failed hetero pickup attempt. Be entertained!

(though you should learn to post this stuff in my sub-forum )

Oh I would have Jay, except there wasn't really a question. :slywink:

Sorry to hear how things are going for you Shego sadly I really don't know what else I can say that has not already been said so instead I shall post a few pics as an appeasement offering

Is that last one bleeding sakura blossoms?

Yes, it's a two part wallpaper I used to have stretched across two monitors and would like to have both parts again sometime soon.

She's being shot at by a second gunwoman.

Oh and thank you Hylian, love me some Yoko!

*edit* let me try that again last time it shrunk the image when I uploaded it

Got some Chinese food on the way home last night. My fortune cookie read:

"A Passionate New Romance Will Come Your Way When You Least Expect It"

Is that so hm?

Shegokigo said:

Got some Chinese food on the way home last night. My fortune cookie read:

"A Passionate New Romance Will Come Your Way When You Least Expect It"

Is that so hm?

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never underestimate the power of the fortune cookie! how did you think we sell so much? ^_~

I thought it was just the deliciousness!

So today is another "bad" day.

I spent the good portion of last night, trying to convince a girl that I've been interested in for 2 months, to stay with the guy she's seeing right now, even though all I want to do is tell her that I would be so much better for her than him. Yet I'd rather not lose her or him as friends, as they're the two people I'm closest to here in this city.

This morning, "Pregnant Girl" invites me to her baby shower. I start to think "Oh here we go, I'm finally getting into the inner circle", just to find out she's invited a few people from work. *sigh*

So I'm feeling pretty meloncholy today.

I'm sure this is the case with anyone who closes in on their 30s and are single. It seems like anyone who I'd be interested in is either taken, or "gone straight". Even the girls I have been out with are "Bi" and not gay. It seemed much easier to find dates in my early twenties yet now it is getting more and more scarse. The ones who are single, seem to be for a reason... D:

When I do find someone, I find myself thinking "maybe I should make things work with this person, what if I don't get another chance anytime soon?" which was the case with "Cosplay Girl". I know that's pretty negative thinking and most people look at me and say "You're too young to be worrying about that." but my prospects as I enter my 30s are looking more and more slim.

I didn't want to be looking to start a relationship in my 30s, I wanted to be celebrating my 10+yr anniversary and talking about all the crazy times we had in our 20s. *sigh*

I'd like to say not to worry about it, that there are lots of single people in their thirties. I'd like to say that I'm single and 32 and that it's fine.

But I know that, for myself, I'm single because I'm largely a loser.

Don't stress about your own situation, Sheki. Trying too hard isn't going to help you.

Shego, please visit here, and hang in there, things will get better.

I did, and I posted in it. :slywink:

At the risk of dismemberment...

*gives Shegs a big, warm, fuzzy teddy bear hug*

I know what it feels like. Minus the going straight part, that is. I'm not going to offer you any platitudes or clichés, because I'm betting dollars to donuts you've heard every last one of them. I'm just gonna say that you should never, ever lose hope of finding someone with whom you click. Keep an open mind and be active, that's what I intend to do now that I'm single once more. I could sit in-doors and mope, but I try to keep my friendships alive, and try to get out once in a while. The person I want to meet sure as hell ain't coming to my door. Unless she's a saleswoman. In which case I might try and pull the 'Nudist Zone' trick. But I digress...

Take care of yourself, you maniac, you. *hugs*

Shegs needs a female version of me.

We all need that, Chaz. For target practice, if nothing else.

Chazwozel said:

Shegs needs a female version of me.

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Does she have good dental?

Gusto;451232][QUOTE=Chazwozel said:

Shegs needs a female version of me.

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Does she have good dental?[/QUOTE]

deep, man. .

I know that some may not agree but this is what I think on this whole matter concerning any form of relationship.

Any form of a relationship requires an opening into the heart.
The deeper the relationship the further in they come.
The relationship will end due to differences or due to death.
And when it does the rigged blade as it pulls out tares into the heart.
Yet we all need and seek the very thing that will cause pain when all is over.

Things I learned from life to help lessen the amount of wounds.
Never show 2 faces always be yourself.
If they still like you, observe them for a while (I observe 3 to 6 months) see who they really are.
Ask yourself will they be a good fit, will they bring something to the table.
If you even think for a second that it will not work, don't waste your time.
When one does end try to only remember the good if any.
Never run out and try to fill the hole it wont work.
Let it heal the best it can.
last there is a special person or persons for you it takes time and pain to find them but when you do it is worth every moment.

mr_thehun;451269][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:

Got some Chinese food on the way home last night. My fortune cookie read:

"A Passionate New Romance Will Come Your Way When You Least Expect It"

Is that so hm?

Click to expand...

unfortunately now that the fortune cookie has told you, YOU ARE NOW EXPECTING IT AND IT WILL NO LONGER OCCUR![/QUOTE]




I know a paradox when I read one!

Hi, Shego! Good luck with finding someone who just wants you to be you and shares your interests. That's all you need right there. As for fortune cookies... I don't care if they can be extremely broad, I love em. The first week of my last semester of school, I opened one that said "Your goal will soon be achieved." Damn right it will, tiny magical cookie!

Now, I'm just putting this out there, Sheg's. but, just letting you know, from what I hear, once you go CrimsonSoul, you never go back.

CrimsonSoul said:

Now, I'm just putting this out there, Sheg's. but, just letting you know, from what I hear, once you go CrimsonSoul, you never go back.

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You know, I was skeptical, but turns out it's true.

CrimsonSoul said:

Now, I'm just putting this out there, Sheg's. but, just letting you know, from what I hear, once you go CrimsonSoul, you never go back.

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One advantage of being single is knowing that you aren't with someone just because its comfortable. I spent the better part of my youth/early 20s single/one night stands/2 month relationships, and it felt normal to me. Then I had started doing the long-term thing, and now being single is harder than I ever remembered it to be.

Before, I avoided long relationships for 2 reasons. First, because I was immature and just found problems that weren't there. Second, however, was because these girls really weren't right for me.

When I got older the problem became that I would stay with people not because I loved them and they were right for me, but because they were willing. This has lead me to stay with girls I shouldn't. I constantly wonder if my issues with them are due to immaturity and I should just get over it, or if they are real problems. Over time though I have gotten better at understanding this, and am in a relationship that is incredibly comfortable and makes me happy.

Anyways, back to you. Don't think that all the good girls are dissapearing. First, it's probably not true, but more importantly it will lead you to the wrong kinds of compromises. Some compromises are ok, even good. When I broke up with my last girl I immediately focused on finding the 'cos-play' girl you described, more or less. Then I realized that those superficial personality traits didn't really matter, so I compromised that. On the other hand, when I was dating someone that was great for me in a lot of physical ways, but I noticed that she was pretty much filled with crazy sauce, I knew that was a compromise that wasn't worth taking.

Understanding the difference between the good and bad compromises will allow you to find a person at any age.

So there are other women that will work for you, definitely. But maybe they aren't what you need right now. Coming out of a long term relationship changes your priorities in really bad ways. You look to long term relationships for short term happiness.

Edit: I guess I'm all over the place here. What it boils down to for me is that relationships are addictive. The longer and more often we are in them the more we look to them for our happiness. It is important for a relationship to make us happy, but it can't be the primary source of happiness in our lives. That's one of the hardest things for me about being single when leaving a long-term relationship, rebuilding the sources of happiness that I let fall by the wayside when a significant other was providing it. It's easier to just find another significant other to provide it, but then it becomes like a drug. Each time you compromise more and more of your true happiness to find the fleeting comfort of a relationship, and each time you are made less and less happy, all the while loosing your ability to generate it for yourself.

I've been going through phases. Almost like clockwork:

Phase 1: I'm perfectly content being alone. I realize that I'm doing just fine without anyone in my life and that I'm ready for a long haul by myself. I'm not going to bother looking or searching, and if it comes my way, fine. If not? So what. I'm good.

Phase 2: I still don't need a relationship with anyone to be happy. I'm starting to get hard up and start wondering what my options are for getting release. Do I hit the clubs/bars and fire up a 1-night stand? Do I call up "Cosplay Girl" and hit that, even though it'll restart the drama machine. Do I just get myself off and forget the whole thing?

Phase 3: Everywhere I look there are couples. There are people who are dating who don't even want to be in relationships. I can't stomach it. I start to wonder what's wrong with me, why can these losers find great people to date and yet I'm single and don't have any real prospects. I begin wondering if I should call my ex out of the blue and hope that she's single and wanting to get back together. I start to think that maybe I can make things work out with "Cosplay Girl". I start signing up with online dating sites and write profile after profile. Only frustrating myself further when I end up going nowhere.

I hop back and forth between those phases weekly. *sigh* I was Phase 1 yesterday.... now I'm starting to lean into Phase 2....

Shego: Phase 3 is not always what you perceived. You be surprise that in later age, people tend to "stay in relationship" cause they don't want to be alone. Sure there might be happy times when you see them, but there might be a lot of unhappy times at home, or cheating, or something..... You can see the U.S. highest single parents and highest divorce rate.

But that doesn't mean stop looking. It just mean that you may have to spend more time looking and keep on truckin. Don't compromise too much cause remember, when you do choose someone, you would want someone to share more happy times than sad times for a long long time

Chibibar said:

Shego: Phase 3 is not always what you perceived. You be surprise that in later age, people tend to "stay in relationship" cause they don't want to be alone. Sure there might be happy times when you see them, but there might be a lot of unhappy times at home, or cheating, or something..... You can see the U.S. highest single parents and highest divorce rate.

But that doesn't mean stop looking. It just mean that you may have to spend more time looking and keep on truckin. Don't compromise too much cause remember, when you do choose someone, you would want someone to share more happy times than sad times for a long long time

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Objection! Speculation.

The truth of the matter is, no relationship is perfect, and everyone needs to work at it. Relationships can't make you happy unless you yourself find happiness in them. There is no general rule to making relationships work or finding that special someone. Having things in common, having complementing personalities, even being sexually compatible isn't a hard and fast rule to finding success in relationships.

You need to get to Stage 4:

Stage 4: You are content being alone. You have a good group of friends that you get your social support from. You look at exes and appreciate why they are exes. You have hobbies that keep you active and occupied. You can go a couple of months without 'stress relief'. You aren't pounding the bricks for it all the time, but when you see an oppurtunity you go for it. Moreover you are able to differentiate the stress relief and your long term goal, finding a suitable life-mate.

You are also a cylon replicant.

i read everything else in this thread, but really this ends the thread right here:

Jay said:

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Piotyr;451761][QUOTE=Chibibar said:

Shego: Phase 3 is not always what you perceived. You be surprise that in later age, people tend to "stay in relationship" cause they don't want to be alone. Sure there might be happy times when you see them, but there might be a lot of unhappy times at home, or cheating, or something..... You can see the U.S. highest single parents and highest divorce rate.

But that doesn't mean stop looking. It just mean that you may have to spend more time looking and keep on truckin. Don't compromise too much cause remember, when you do choose someone, you would want someone to share more happy times than sad times for a long long time

Click to expand...

Objection! Speculation.

The truth of the matter is, no relationship is perfect, and everyone needs to work at it. Relationships can't make you happy unless you yourself find happiness in them. There is no general rule to making relationships work or finding that special someone. Having things in common, having complementing personalities, even being sexually compatible isn't a hard and fast rule to finding success in relationships.[/QUOTE]

Well I will go with speculation. It is what I notice that not all relationship is peaches and creams. I guess what I am trying to say is that Shego's phase 3 is not a good view to look into. She sees other couple and they look happy and wonder why she can't have that either. I'm just saying that not all relationship look as "happy" as some people make out.

I know quiet a bit of people (due to working in a community college) that people who are divorce are still living together and do things together cause of the market and can't afford to be apart (yea that is a weird one for me) and some people DO stay in a relationship for fear of being alone.

What I am trying to say is that Shego should go out and find her own happiness and not "benchmark" with other couples she see.

Yeah, my grandparents basically stayed together for 20 years despite not wanting to be, because it really wasn't practical to try and make it on their own at their age. Then my grandfather died and as far as my grandmother was concerned, problem solved.

That's really what kept me and my recent 7yr ex together for so long. A need of being together and not enough need to not be.

It was, in the long run, a miserable relationship. I do not hope to repeat it.

So more news on "Pregnant Girl". She asked me today if I would be willing to take on the responsibility of caring for her dog. She's moving into a new apt complex that has a ridiculous pet deposit. Since I already paid the deposit on my apt, she wanted to know if I'd be willing to take care of it. She loves the dog, alot. So she's not trying to get rid of it.

I'm debating taking this responsibility on for a few reasons.
1: We're not dating. She's also not really taken toward my advances (again because she says she's not comfortable getting into a realtionship in her current condition, I also don't think she's out to her friends and family)
2: If we don't end up dating, I really don't want to have this dog and her coming around. Friend she may be, but future dating "cock block" she would quickly become.
3: I'm wondering if there is alterior motive for wanting me to take care of the dog. Does she want an excuse to be able to come over to my apartment? (Oh I was wondering how the dog was doing, can I come over?) Is she using it as a test to see if I can care for something? (She's having a child soon). So maybe she is interested in dating but wants to feel me out with the dog?

I just don't know if I should. Turning down the dog could end up being the thing that blows my chances. :?

It may blow your chances, but it's asking a lot for someone to take on their dog.

I don't think ulterior motives is a good way of starting dating either; dating should be dating for itself, and not needing to "test" the other person beforehand. That's a sign that more tests will follow in the future even if dating or relationship were to happen, rather than open communication.

Well there was open communication. I straight up asked her and she straight up told me that it wasn't going to happen at this time. I do see your points on it though, I've kind of known them already.

That's a pretty big favor to ask someone.

There's also the real possibility that she just sees a heightened liklihood you would be willing to take care of her dog (either because you've already mentioned your prepaid situation or because she sees the glint of infatuation). Who knows?

--Patrick

That or she doesn't have anyonelse that could help and I'm an easy target at this point?

All I'm sayin' is make sure that if you offer to do so, you do so because you want to do it...not because you want to do it for her.

Happy Shego = Happy Shego's environment = Happy Shego. It's a self-sustaining loop.

--Patrick

Why would I want to do it for me? The only reason would be if it's the catalyst to something more.

There's that, but there's also the possibility that you could feel sorry for the dog, or want a companion for your dog, or you could see this going the 'why don't you just keep him' route and you already know someone else who wants a dog and could build a relationship with this one, etc.

--Patrick

Wait what?

I don't already have a dog, that would need a companion. I also don't know someonelse who would want a dog?

Simply put: Do you want a dog? Because if you agree, you're going to wind up with a dog. Nothing more, nothing less.

I wouldn't mind one if it leads to more.

I would mind one if it doesn't.

That's pretty much the point.

Just so we're clear.

--Patrick
(I assumed the reason you mentioned you had already paid a pet deposit was because you already had a pet, not because there was just the chance you would acquire one later)

Yeah I have a cat.

It was raised with a dog, and her dog was raised around cats so I'm not worried about that.

Shegokigo said:

I wouldn't mind one if it leads to more.

I would mind one if it doesn't.

That's pretty much the point.

Click to expand...

Right. But all you know is that you're going to wind up with a dog. You don't know if there's going to be anything besides that.

I don't mean to be all bleeding-heart animal lover, but don't take on an animal just because it might help your love life. That doesn't seem fair to you OR the dog.

I hope your love life shakes out better and improves and all that

It's either I take on the dog or it goes god knows where Charlie. So if anything, if you want to bleed your heart out, it should be in the direction of me taking it, regardless of the reason why.

You're not going to get the girl, don't take the dog. You don't want to become "That really nice Friend" you want to be the person someone can't live without.

Element 117 said:

You're not going to get the girl, don't take the dog. You don't want to become "That really nice Friend" you want to be the person someone can't live without.

Click to expand...

+1 This.

Element 117 said:

You're not going to get the girl, don't take the dog. You don't want to become "That really nice Friend" you want to be the person someone can't live without.

Click to expand...

Repped.

Also, who the hell are you to have all that rep and posts and not having heard of. Amy?

Yup. If it's a handle related to recent science news, odds are it's Amy. Or at least, that's been the latest kick.

Null said:

Yup. If it's a handle related to recent science news, odds are it's Amy. Or at least, that's been the latest kick.

Click to expand...

I just assume that any new name that isn't a new user is amy.

Ravenpoe;452270][QUOTE=Null said:

Yup. If it's a handle related to recent science news, odds are it's Amy. Or at least, that's been the latest kick.

Click to expand...

I just assume that any new name that isn't a new user is amy.[/QUOTE]

So whose the Speaker of the Huuurrrr?

Element 117;452305][QUOTE=Ravenpoe;452270][QUOTE=Null said:

Yup. If it's a handle related to recent science news, odds are it's Amy. Or at least, that's been the latest kick.

Click to expand...

I just assume that any new name that isn't a new user is amy.[/QUOTE]

So whose the Speaker of the Huuurrrr?[/QUOTE]

If I follow my amy rule, then I would have to say you pretending to be charlie. But in the end, we're all just jcm alts.

That's not confusing. At all