Life changing events

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fade

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IMO: best book ever written was Babywise. You can ignore the mushy religious parts, but the cycle stuff is great. Worked for our kids like a charm. Sleep through the night by 8 weeks if you can just muffle that part of your instincts that makes you think a little crying is an emergency (assuming all needs have been met).
 
I'm a little late to the party, but congratulations!

If you're looking for a baby book with humor, a friend of mine highly recommends The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance.
 
J

Joe Johnson

There is something I could tell you to prepare for it fully....but where would the fun in that be.
 
B

Biannoshufu

Yes, I liked all of that advice. Thanks!
also, if you guys choose to breast feed http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html is a great resource.

It's been a few years since Eric was born, so some of my advice is rusty, but star saving for a child college savings account now. Also the What to expect website http://www.whattoexpect.com/ is useful for week by week stuff, and if you sign up there En Famil will ship you a box of free formula (Scary)

The good news is that it can seem scary or absolute hell at times, but you can get through it, and you will. And when you do you'll find you can do pretty much anything you need to do.
Good luck!
 
Congrats, brah!

Having gone through this relatively recently, I can say that this is all very, VERY sound advice (Amy, where were you with that pyrex advice? Wish I'd known that before melting a couple bottles. *grins*)

Also: for newborn clothes, just get a handful of onesies and, depending on local climate, something to bundle in for going outside. They grow out of clothes so ridiculously fast, it's saddening and maddening at the same time. Down here there's a kind of thrift store that sells lightly-used baby clothes, toys and accoutrements at really cheap prices. Check around for stuff like that.

Something I wish we had in the area is family. Both of ours are out of state, so my wife's been trooping through it all by herself. If you get offers to sit for baby, hang on to them. Trust me; she's going to want a break later, no matter how good your child is or how devoted she is to it. It's not a reflection on her or the child, but too much of anything without a break wears on a person.

As has been said, get used to lack of sleep, but you might get lucky, too. Rhiannon is usually good about dropping off after a diaper change and a bottle, combined with some singing.

Also: Diaper genie = MAGIC.
 
"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."


Congrats!
 
Congrats, brah!

Having gone through this relatively recently, I can say that this is all very, VERY sound advice (Amy, where were you with that pyrex advice? Wish I'd known that before melting a couple bottles. *grins*)

Also: for newborn clothes, just get a handful of onesies and, depending on local climate, something to bundle in for going outside. They grow out of clothes so ridiculously fast, it's saddening and maddening at the same time. Down here there's a kind of thrift store that sells lightly-used baby clothes, toys and accoutrements at really cheap prices. Check around for stuff like that.

Something I wish we had in the area is family. Both of ours are out of state, so my wife's been trooping through it all by herself. If you get offers to sit for baby, hang on to them. Trust me; she's going to want a break later, no matter how good your child is or how devoted she is to it. It's not a reflection on her or the child, but too much of anything without a break wears on a person.

As has been said, get used to lack of sleep, but you might get lucky, too. Rhiannon is usually good about dropping off after a diaper change and a bottle, combined with some singing.

Also: Diaper genie = MAGIC.
My wife is very thrifty!
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

The good news is that it can seem scary or absolute hell at times, but you can get through it, and you will. And when you do you'll find you can do pretty much anything you need to do.
Good luck!
This. Sometimes the bad times are beyond bad, but the thing to remember is that it's only temporary. Kids get sick, but they get better. Kids have stages they go through, but it passes. And you learn as you go along.
 

fade

Staff member
I have to disagree on the Diaper Genie. We had one for our son, but it failed as much as it worked, and it was so heavily perfumed, the diapers smelled like candy-coated poop. With our daughter, we just used a good ol' fashioned pail lined with grocery bags. Worked as well, and it was free.
 
Yeh. I never really used my diaper genie. It just sits in his nursery, taking up room. I just tossed a garbage can in there.
 
B

Biannoshufu

we also found these useful for propping mom up for early day breastfeeding, then propping him up for learning how to sit up. boppy's like these can be found at a second hand store, just make sure to get one with a washable cover.


And that's another bit of advice, double your laundry washing budget. Get a bunch of reusable diapers to clean up puke with. Baby sized wash cloths are unnecessary, but double up on washcloths, square foot or larger foam/waterproof pads, and towels, etc. And yes, never ever shop at a baby clothes store unless it's second hand. I spent $7,000 during the first few months of the pregnancy on "oh my god that's sooo cuuuttteee" clothes by four months into Eric's life, I had returned almost all of it since it was just stupid and or nonfitting.

Also, I found that about the 7th month into the pregnancy, watching this http://bit.ly/eRBDmU was really helpful for curing the random "oh my god I'm going to kill a baby on accident!" fears. We seriously thought of moving to mongolia.

And Eric's birthmom had her own favorite piece of advice:

sleep when the baby sleeps. Do not try to use that time to get work done.
 

fade

Staff member
I second the Boppy. That's a good one, Amy. Also, the Baby Bjorn seems to be pretty good.

As far as clothes go, find a friend with an older kid born around the same time of year (so the seasons match up). I've barely bought a stitch of clothing for my kids (until my son went to school). And we pass 'em on down to our friends.
 
I'm not responding much here but I am noting every little bit of advice! Some of it we're aware of already but it doesn't hurt to hear your stories. Thanks. :)
 
I'm not responding much here but I am noting every little bit of advice! Some of it we're aware of already but it doesn't hurt to hear your stories. Thanks. :)
Oh yeah, advice, I forgot. Here ya go, this one's free: It might look perfect for a baby but no matter how tempted you are do NOT use a dog kennel to carry your baby around in. People will look at you funny and no one wants that.
 
J

Jiarn

My daughter was small enough that we used the cat kennel.

Convience of child transportation > funny looks.
 
I am going to add that I subscribed to Todays Parent magazine after Jet was born. Everyone laughed at me but, I swear to God, it has been an invaluable source of information for me. Some of the advice will conflict from issue to issue but I find it gives you the information necessary to make your own parenting decisions. :)
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

I would also like to add that your child is not going to be like everyone else's. People told me how wonderful the baby swings are. Both of my kids hated them with a fiery passion. Baby Bjorn or slings were supposed to be these wonderful items, too. My son was too big for the Baby Bjorn by the time he was 6 months old. My daughter screamed bloody murder when she was in a baby carrying sling. Don't let anyone convince you or your wife that you *have* to do anything or else you're a bad parent. I had trouble breast feeding my son when he was an infant and switched to formula after trying lactation consultants (3 or 4 of them to be exact), drinking special teas, taking dietary supplements, getting a prescription from our pediatrician, and so on. I felt like I was the worst mother on the planet and not worthy of being a woman because I was unable to give my baby what was "best". Guess what. Turns out I did give him what was best - my love - because at the end of the day that is all that really matters. You don't need special clothes or pillows or cribs. Love that child with all your heart and everything will be fine.
 
I would also like to add that your child is not going to be like everyone else's. People told me how wonderful the baby swings are. Both of my kids hated them with a fiery passion. Baby Bjorn or slings were supposed to be these wonderful items, too. My son was too big for the Baby Bjorn by the time he was 6 months old. My daughter screamed bloody murder when she was in a baby carrying sling. Don't let anyone convince you or your wife that you *have* to do anything or else you're a bad parent. I had trouble breast feeding my son when he was an infant and switched to formula after trying lactation consultants (3 or 4 of them to be exact), drinking special teas, taking dietary supplements, getting a prescription from our pediatrician, and so on. I felt like I was the worst mother on the planet and not worthy of being a woman because I was unable to give my baby what was "best". Guess what. Turns out I did give him what was best - my love - because at the end of the day that is all that really matters. You don't need special clothes or pillows or cribs. Love that child with all your heart and everything will be fine.

My best advice rolls along with Wasabi...

In the end, YOU know what's best for your kid. So be wary of getting information overload. I've learned that parenthood is a learn as you go thing.

And I say this without spite, but don't listen a word from anyone who doesn't have kids. They don't know jack shit.
 
If it's a boy and you're changing his diaper have a single wipe nearby, whenever you take off the babies diaper immediately throw the wipe over the baby's naughty bits and instead of peeing on you, it will pee on the wipe. Saved me a few pee baths in my day.
 
If it's a boy and you're changing his diaper have a single wipe nearby, whenever you take off the babies diaper immediately throw the wipe over the baby's naughty bits and instead of peeing on you, it will pee on the wipe. Saved me a few pee baths in my day.
This, this, THIS.
 

fade

Staff member
Yeah, along with what Wasabi said, this is all happy free advice, but don't be afraid to question it or turn it down. And one thing I hated as a parent when my children were very young was all the "helpful" people whose idea of giving you advice was to politely tell you that you were doing it wrong. And there are a LOT of those. Most of them well-meaning, but a candy coated piece of poo is still a piece of poo. Or (hypocritical, I know) all those people who come out of the woodwork with advice when you really don't want it. Sometimes you just want to tell them to fuck off.
 
J

Jiarn

I nearly shot my girlfriend's sister on a NUMBER of occassions because she was taking a child raising class in college, though she had no children of her own. Her "advice" nearly cost me my sanity.
 
I nearly shot my girlfriend's sister on a NUMBER of occassions because she was taking a child raising class in college, though she had no children of her own. Her "advice" nearly cost me my sanity.
"I used to have several theories about raising children. Now I have several children and no theories."
 
I'm still mad about finding out that babies don't "bounce like a rubber ball." Last time I listen to you, let me tell you.
Hey, it's not my fault that baby didn't have springs in his diaper. And evidently, they don't smoke cigars. Or shave. Or have tattoos.
Stupid Warner Bros and their lies about babies.
 
B

Biannoshufu

I keep coming back to this thread and laughing my ass off thinking "he has no idea..."

Cruel, right?
 
W

Wasabi Poptart

I still laugh about how tired I was when my daughter was still an infant. I was nursing her after her bath one night and started having this amazing hallucination of sorts. I was looking at a jar of solid cocoa butter on my dresser and thinking to myself that it would be nice to swim in it. "I'll have to try that once she's asleep" was the thought that snapped me back to reality. lmao
 
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