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Michelle McNamara - crime blogger and Patton Oswalt's wife

#1

General Specific

General Specific

http://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/...arried-comedian-patton-oswalt-dies-46-n560836

Died in her sleep thursday night, she was only 46 and leaves behind her husband, Patton, and their 7 year old daughter. My heart breaks for them. Especially since Patton has spoken about battling depression in the past.


#2

PatrThom

PatrThom

Saw the news last night, but of course you never realize how much else is going on with someone until you see their name in the papers in the news.

--Patrick


#3

Jay

Jay

Gonna be a little bit of an asshole here but the number of Brazelton threads is TOO HIGH.

I know 2016 is a tough year so far but FFS does the wife of a somewhat known comedian merit a thread?

Unless it's a huge celebrity, these things should all go in one thread.


#4

PatrThom

PatrThom

Jay said:
Unless it's a huge celebrity, these things should all go in one thread.
Click to expand...
What do you say, @Dave ? Should there be a "Dead" thread?
If we move toward that model, I vote for it to be in the "Health and Advice" category.

--Patrick


#5

Bubble181

Bubble181

PatrThom said:
What do you say, @Dave ? Should there be a "Dead" thread?
If we move toward that model, I vote for it to be in the "Health and Advice" category.

--Patrick
Click to expand...
We've had one before, and it sort of died off. Either people think someone's important enough to merit a thread, or they tend to not post.

I dunno, I have no clue who this is, honestly, and I would say such a thread is useful, but....


#6

Jay

Jay

Food for thought... 9 of the last 40 updated topics are Brazeltons.[DOUBLEPOST=1461475379,1461475284][/DOUBLEPOST]14 of the last 50.

28%


#7

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Jay said:
Food for thought... 9 of the last 40 updated topics are Brazeltons.[14 of the last 50.

28%
Click to expand...
Well, let us be thankful we haven't had to have one for a fellow forumite for some time.


#8

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

I feel like we've had this discussion before, but I can't remember how it concluded. I suppose against having an all-encompassing Brazelton thread, because we still have the individual ones. I think a dead thread is a thread I and others would forget to check and thus might miss.

Also, what merits a big celebrity varies from person to person. How do we measure that? If someone makes a thread for a celebrity they liked, but isn't considered big, is Dave going to send a PM telling them "that one doesn't matter enough, throw them in the dead thread"?


#9

CynicismKills

CynicismKills

I figure if the thread doesn't interest me, why even enter it? This forum isn't busy enough to worry about clutter.


#10

Bubble181

Bubble181

Zero Esc said:
I feel like we've had this discussion before, but I can't remember how it concluded.
Click to expand...
As I said, it ended with the creation of a "small deaths" thread, which quickly died of its own.
There's barely any movement around here anyway, why worry about those few new threads that get posted? 90% of all discussion is in the different rant and victory threads because all those things "aren't worth starting a new thread over".
Perhaps we should all just start a lot more threads about small stuff so Jay doesn't get bothered by too many Brazelton threads in comparison? I'm sure having 50 new threads each week about all the small stuff will be more to his liking :awesome:


#11

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Birth threads! Post about new people being born!


#12

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Zero Esc said:
Birth threads! Post about new people being born!
Click to expand...
So @stienman would have his own thread


#13

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Ravenpoe said:
So @stienman would have his own thread
Click to expand...
He would just be the prefix.


#14

General Specific

General Specific

Alright, sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to check with @Jay to see if someone was notable enough to create a thread about. I thought someone who got a front page story on NBCnews.com was worthy of a thread, but I guess not.


#15

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

General Specific said:
Alright, sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to check with @Jay to see if someone was notable enough to create a thread about. I thought someone who got a front page story on NBCnews.com was worthy of a thread, but I guess not.
Click to expand...
NBC is blocked by the brutal Canadian Supremacy Regime. Jay only sees MooseNews.com now and Halforums.


#16

Bubble181

Bubble181

Zero Esc said:
NBC is blocked by the brutal Canadian Supremacy Regime. Jay only sees MooseNews.com now and Halforums.
Click to expand...
To be fair, those two combined give him all the news you might possibly need out three in the frozen wastes.

And FYI, it's MooseNewsFr.ca ;)


#17

PatrThom

PatrThom

General Specific said:
Alright, sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to check with @Jay to see if someone was notable enough to create a thread about. I thought someone who got a front page story on NBCnews.com was worthy of a thread, but I guess not.
Click to expand...
It's ok. We both know his real motivation was to corral all the [Brazelton] stuff into one single thread so he could more conveniently ignore it.

--Patrick


#18

Denbrought

Denbrought

sixpackshaker said:
He would just be the prefix.
Click to expand...
alpha_omega.jpg


#19

Dave

Dave

Moosenews? I want to get Moosenews!!

And I don't care which way we go. People with their own threads is fine with me.


#20

Jay

Jay

General Specific said:
Alright, sorry, I didn't know I was supposed to check with @Jay to see if someone was notable enough to create a thread about. I thought someone who got a front page story on NBCnews.com was worthy of a thread, but I guess not.
Click to expand...
Firstly, I don't get why you folks need to get so uppity about my comment. You plebs. I'm clearly not stating you need to check with me if you need to create a thread here... albeit, now that you brought it up...it should be encouraged....

Secondly, NBC'whatever' is where your particular issue lies. If YOU'RE getting news from NBCNEWS and the wife of a somewhat known comedian has died due to natural causes is headline news, I can GUARANTEE you there's far more newsworthy things happening out there. I for one, don't give a damn, life is short enough as it is and don't need a quarter of the threads in this sub-forum filled with death and misfortune.

My suggestion can be taken into consideration or not, it doesn't matter to me, I wonder now why I bothered, this place just makes me sad. Oh well.

But hey, that's just me and everyone can proceed on clicking the passive aggressive icon.


#21

PatrThom

PatrThom

Jay said:
But hey, that's just me and everyone can proceed on clicking the passive aggressive icon.
Click to expand...
Well, I was going to, but now I'm not gonna.

--Patrick


#22

Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

@GasBandit get us a passive aggressive rating, stat!


#23

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

Jay said:
But hey, that's just me and everyone can proceed on clicking the passive aggressive icon.
Click to expand...
No one rated your post as Informative, and that's definitely the most passive aggressive rating icon we have.[DOUBLEPOST=1461555365,1461554767][/DOUBLEPOST]See?!


#24

General Specific

General Specific

Jay said:
Firstly, I don't get why you folks need to get so uppity about my comment. You plebs. I'm clearly not stating you need to check with me if you need to create a thread here... albeit, now that you brought it up...it should be encouraged....

Secondly, NBC'whatever' is where your particular issue lies. If YOU'RE getting news from NBCNEWS and the wife of a somewhat known comedian has died due to natural causes is headline news, I can GUARANTEE you there's far more newsworthy things happening out there. I for one, don't give a damn, life is short enough as it is and don't need a quarter of the threads in this sub-forum filled with death and misfortune.

My suggestion can be taken into consideration or not, it doesn't matter to me, I wonder now why I bothered, this place just makes me sad. Oh well.

But hey, that's just me and everyone can proceed on clicking the passive aggressive icon.
Click to expand...
Well, considering this is not the first time you have suggested stopping the Brazelton threads and they are still here, might I suggest you grow a thicker skin and just ignore them? Basic forum rule, if you don't like a thread or don't want to read about something, DON'T CLICK ON IT.

And calling us "plebs" is certain to win friends and admirers. (that was sarcasm, by the way, since you seemed incapable of recognizing it earlier or are just being intentionally thickheaded)

As for more newsworthy things out there, you are right. There are. Shall we discuss the ISIS Terror group? How about the mass shooting in Ohio? What about the American election? ...or would all of those make you sad? After all, this forum is specifically designed to make you happy, Jay. (there's another example of sarcasm for you)

I posted this thread because I am a big fan of Patton Oswalt and I thought, probably correctly, that there are other fans of his on these forums that may not have heard and may want to reach out to Patton over facebook or other social media to express their support. But you couldn't just let the thread go, could you? You had to inject yourself as the arbiter of what is acceptable to post. Well, we already have people who do that. They are the people with Blue and Red names. So next time you want to make a post about how you feel like something doesn't fit or YOU THINK that something doesn't belong here. Please shove it up your ass.

I'm sorry, @Dave et al. Remove the thread, lock it, edit down my post; whatever you deign needs to be done, please do it.


#25

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

:aaah:


#26

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

There's an entire subforum for sports that I've never clicked on once. Why? Not into sports. I mean, at all. None. But that doesn't mean I think it doesn't have a place here. I don't give a shit about sports, so I don't visit that subforum. Plain and simple. Other people like sports (or, you know, most people)? All power to 'em.


#27

Squidleybits

Squidleybits

I don't think I've ever been there either lol :)


#28

strawman

strawman

I was contemplating this morning just how much everyone here is a fan of compartmentalization. Unlike many (most?) forums, we have huge threads under which most content fits. We've got a range of whine-rant-victory-win threads for everyday personal events, we have a politics thread, movies, sex, pictures (funny, political, self), a handful of big sports threads, etc, etc. And in case there is any doubt, there's the random crap thread.

Sure, we get a few new threads now and then for other topics, but a surprising amount of forum activity occurs in these huge thread compartments.

So the brazelton threads tend to stick out. If we broke out even 10% of the content we put in the other threads into their own threads, the brazelton threads wouldn't stand a chance - they'd fall off the page pretty quickly unless a lot of people were mourning.

It would also look like the forum was much busier than it actually appears to outsiders.

If we bottled it up into a single "People you've not met but their lack of respiration saddens many" thread I don't know that it would serve any particular good purpose, other than Jay's personal unhappiness at having too many minor celebrity's lives celebrated post death.

I suspect that if we continue to compartmentalize everything, though, it will not increase participation over the long run. Having a few overly active threads seems like it would be as bad for the community as having too many inactive threads.


#29

PatrThom

PatrThom

stienman said:
Unlike many (most?) forums, we have huge threads under which most content fits.
Click to expand...
What I've noticed most is that, unlike most other fora, ours is not about a specific theme. People always ask me, "You're always on that forum. What's it about?" And then I have to stare blankly and reply, "What isn't it about?"

--Patrick


#30

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

My other stops are about BBQ, Camping or Fallout 4.

This place is closer to a baby Facebook.


#31

Bubble181

Bubble181

PatrThom said:
What I've noticed most is that, unlike most other fora, ours is not about a specific theme. People always ask me, "You're always on that forum. What's it about?" And then I have to stare blankly and reply, "What isn't it about?"

--Patrick
Click to expand...
Nerd culture? Not just geek culture though, or sports wouldn't fit :p There's sports nerd and game nerds and photo nerds and politics nerds and nerdy nerds and :p


#32

PatrThom

PatrThom

sixpackshaker said:
This place is closer to a baby Facebook.
Click to expand...
Fewer baby pictures, though.

Thank goodness.

--Patrick


#33

Bubble181

Bubble181

PatrThom said:
Fewer baby pictures, though.

Thank goodness.

--Patrick
Click to expand...
And more erotic ones. All in all, an improvement, I must say.


#34

Denbrought

Denbrought

You guys must have a very boring Facebook.


#35

Hailey Knight

Hailey Knight

I think steinman has a good point. For convenience sake, we have a movie news thread, when sometimes movies merit their own thread and don't get them. Same with some video games; that forum is like three threads constantly updating, with not much other traffic because all significance goes under the Video Game News. Some threads I think it makes sense (what movie did you last see, the rant threads) but when stuff comes up, instead of finding its place in the random thread, it might be worth using the New Post function, even if it ends up being a thread that dies in a week or so.


#36

Bubble181

Bubble181

Zero Esc said:
I think steinman has a good point. For convenience sake, we have a movie news thread, when sometimes movies merit their own thread and don't get them. Same with some video games; that forum is like three threads constantly updating, with not much other traffic because all significance goes under the Video Game News. Some threads I think it makes sense (what movie did you last see, the rant threads) but when stuff comes up, instead of finding its place in the random thread, it might be worth using the New Post function, even if it ends up being a thread that dies in a week or so.
Click to expand...
It's a self-reinforcing cycle thing, though. Because there are so few active threads, the threshold for new threads is higher. Plus, some of us may feel whatever they post isn't worth a separate thread, anyway. I know I tend to feel that way.


#37

PatrThom

PatrThom

Patton Oswalt Remembers His Wife, Michelle McNamara
(courtesy Time Magazine)

--Patrick


#38

fade

fade



#39

Bubble181

Bubble181

I really, really hate the new Imgur system. I can't open the album on Imgur itself, I can't resize this to actually get the full text. Can't read the last part of the first message, can't read the last bit of the second...*sigh*


#40

fade

fade

Clicking the imgur logo takes me to the album on Imgur. Doesn't work for you?


#41

CynicismKills

CynicismKills

Bubble181 said:
I really, really hate the new Imgur system. I can't open the album on Imgur itself, I can't resize this to actually get the full text. Can't read the last part of the first message, can't read the last bit of the second...*sigh*
Click to expand...
Imgur's "upgrade" was definitely a case of fixing what wasn't broken.


#42

Bubble181

Bubble181

fade said:
Clicking the imgur logo takes me to the album on Imgur. Doesn't work for you?
Click to expand...
No, since I don't see an Imgur logo. I see the button in the top right, but it doesn't open a menu.


#43

Dei

Dei

Bubble181 said:
No, since I don't see an Imgur logo. I see the button in the top right, but it doesn't open a
Click to expand...
It's on Facebook, just search... My link was weird. Trying again.




Sorry if you're using Tapatalk, I can't get it to NOT auto media embed.


#44

PatrThom

PatrThom

Dei said:
It's on Facebook, just search... My link was weird. Trying again.




Sorry if you're using Tapatalk, I can't get it to NOT auto media embed.
Click to expand...
All I see is a big empty blank space.
I'm inclined to believe it's my browser.

--Patrick


#45

Bubble181

Bubble181

Thanks, grief.
Thanks for making depression look like the buzzing little bully it always was. Depression is the tallest kid in the 4th grade, dinging rubber bands off the back of your head and feeling safe on the playground, knowing that no teacher is coming to help you.
But grief? Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully's head in a toilet and then fucking the teacher you've got a crush on in front of the class. Grief makes depression cower behind you and apologize for being such a dick.
If you spend 102 days completely focused on ONE thing you can achieve miracles. Make a film, write a novel, get MMA ripped, kick heroin, learn a language, travel around the world. Fall in love with someone. Get 'em to love you back.
But 102 days at the mercy of grief and loss feels like 102 years and you have shit to show for it. You will not be physically healthier. You will not feel "wiser." You will not have "closure." You will not have "perspective" or "resilience" or "a new sense of self." You WILL have solid knowledge of fear, exhaustion and a new appreciation for the randomness and horror of the universe. And you'll also realize that 102 days is nothing but a warm-up for things to come.
And...
You will have been shown new levels of humanity and grace and intelligence by your family and friends. They will show up for you, physically and emotionally, in ways which make you take careful note, and say to yourself, "Make sure to try to do that for someone else someday." Complete strangers will send you genuinely touching messages on Facebook and Twitter, or will somehow figure out your address to send you letters which you'll keep and re-read 'cause you can't believe how helpful they are. And, if you're a parent? You'll wish you were your kid's age, because the way they embrace despair and joy are at a purer level that you're going to have to reconnect with, to reach backwards through years of calcified cynicism and ironic detachment.
Lose your cool, and you're saved.
Michelle McNamara got yanked off the planet and out of life 102 days ago. She left behind an amazing unfinished book, about a horrific series of murders that everyone -- including the retired homicide detectives she worked with -- was sure she'd solve. The Golden State Killer. She gave him that name, in an article for Los Angeles Magazine. She was going to figure out the real name behind it.
She left Alice, her 7 year-old daughter. But not before putting the best parts of her into Alice, like beautiful music burned onto a CD and sent out into the void on a spaceship.
And she left me. 102 days into this.
I was face-down and frozen for weeks. It's 102 days later and I can confidently say I have reached a point where I'm crawling. Which, objectively, is an improvement. Maybe 102 days later I'll be walking.
Any spare energy I've managed to summon since April 21st I've put toward finishing Michelle's book. With a lot of help from some very amazing people. It will come out. I will let you know. It's all her. We're just taking what's there and letting it tell us how to shape it. It's amazing.
And I'm going to start telling jokes again soon. And writing. And acting in stuff and making things I like and working with friends on projects and do all the stuff I was always so privileged to get to do before the air caught fire around me and the sun died. It's all I knew how to do before I met Michelle. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do now without her.
And not because, "It's what Michelle would have wanted me to do." For me to even presume to know what Michelle would have wanted me to do is the height of arrogance on my part. That was one of the many reasons I so looked forward to growing old with her. Because she was always surprising me. Because I never knew what she'd think or what direction she'd go.
Okay, I'll start being funny again soon. What other choice do I have? Reality is in a death spiral and we seem to be living in a cackling, looming nightmare-swamp. We're all being dragged into a shadow-realm of doom by hateful lunatics who are determined to send our planet careening into oblivion.
Hey, there's that smile I was missing!
Click to expand...


#46

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

fade said:
Clicking the imgur logo takes me to the album on Imgur. Doesn't work for you?
Click to expand...
Thank you. It used to be the little gear in the top right corner, but that stopped working and I never thought to click the top left.[DOUBLEPOST=1470158679,1470158488][/DOUBLEPOST]. . . Except on my tablet, imgur wont load anything for me :facepalm:


#47

Cajungal

Cajungal

Did anyone ever say how she died? I tried looking it up earlier and came up short.


#48

Dave

Dave

Nobody knows yet. Or at least they ain't saying.


#49

PatrThom

PatrThom

Cajungal said:
Did anyone ever say how she died? I tried looking it up earlier and came up short.
Click to expand...
Yeah, they said the autopsy results might not get looked at until the Fall.

--Patrick


#50

GasBandit

GasBandit

That hurt to read. A lot.


#51

PatrThom

PatrThom

GasBandit said:
That hurt to read. A lot.
Click to expand...
You're just saying that because you know someone in a similar situation.

--Patrick


#52

fade

fade

Here he is winning an Emmy last night:



An odd thing for him to say, I must admit, given his fairly vocal stance as an atheist.


#53

Denbrought

Denbrought

fade said:
Here he is winning an Emmy last night:



An odd thing for him to say, I must admit, given his fairly vocal stance as an atheist.
Click to expand...
You can think the cake is a lie while also wishing you could have a slice. Not every atheist is of the Hitchens type, yannow :)


#54

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

fade said:
An odd thing for him to say, I must admit, given his fairly vocal stance as an atheist.
Click to expand...
I've met many an atheist who would love to be wrong about the whole Heaven thing. They don't believe it's true, but they'd love to be wrong.


#55

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

AshburnerX said:
I've met many an atheist who would love to be wrong about the whole Heaven thing. They don't believe it's true, but they'd love to be wrong.
Click to expand...
Aye. I'm rather certain it ain't true, and I'd certainly love to be wrong.


I might also say something like he did, because the people I'm talking to can relate to the comment, and the "I hope" bit is a bit of gallows humour.


#56

fade

fade

I get your points, but "I hope" is stronger than "I wish" or "It'd sure be nice" to my ears.


#57

Denbrought

Denbrought

fade said:
I get your points, but "I hope" is stronger than "I wish" or "It'd sure be nice" to my ears.
Click to expand...
Interesting. Might be a language thing, but to me hoping is passive, while wishing is active (and thus 'stronger').


#58

Gruebeard

Gruebeard

fade said:
I get your points, but "I hope" is stronger than "I wish" or "It'd sure be nice" to my ears.
Click to expand...
We don't always pick the most cromulent word.


#59

strawman

strawman

Hope isn't just a desire, but an expression of expectation, so it's a bit stronger than wish. In fact if he had used wish it would have implied that he expects it not to be true.

Both express desire, but each have opposite expectations.

But on the other hand you can believe there is something after life and yet not believe in a higher power or deity.

Keep in mind also that atheism isn't a single belief system. In relation to an afterlife you might be able to say that most atheists would only agree that you shouldn't live your life based on a belief of an afterlife. I don't know how many would assert that there is no afterlife - you can't prove a negative after all - but few would shout down a man who has lost a loved one for their hope.


#60

PatrThom

PatrThom

Answers.

--Patrick


#61

sixpackshaker

sixpackshaker

Are there depths that some people won't stoop too?

http://www.chicagotribune.com/enter...-patton-oswalt-tony-brust-20170201-story.html


#62

PatrThom

PatrThom

sixpackshaker said:
Are there depths that some people won't stoop too?
Click to expand...
Ha ha no.

--Patrick


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