I'm in the middle of ending a really fucked up marriage. I live and work in china and my soon to be ex-wife is chinese as well. We got married for all the wrong reasons. Her family was heavily pressuring her not to be involved with me and did their best to keep us separated. So we decided to get married in secret. We were only married four months. In that time she barely lived with me in order to maintain the lie that she and I had not married. Just recently she confessed that she was also having an affair and she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with him or me. I told her I wanted a divorce. I will do this as soon as possible.
My family--my mom especially-- would like me to come home right away. I am off two minds about this. On the one hand I would like to go home and reevaluate my life and let my parents be rest assured that I'm not going to fuck up my life anymore than I already have. On the other hand I feel bad about leaving my job. My contract ends in January and the idea of not fulfilling that obligation doesn't make me feel good. To stay I would be giving up christmas with my family who I have not seen in over a year now. On the other hand I feel the need to prove to myself that although I made some mistakes in my personal life my employer shouldn't have to suffer for that and I should meet my commitments to them.
At this point all I'm really sure of is that getting married was a huge mistake and I don't want to be married anymore. Now what?
My family--my mom especially-- would like me to come home right away. I am off two minds about this. On the one hand I would like to go home and reevaluate my life and let my parents be rest assured that I'm not going to fuck up my life anymore than I already have. On the other hand I feel bad about leaving my job. My contract ends in January and the idea of not fulfilling that obligation doesn't make me feel good. To stay I would be giving up christmas with my family who I have not seen in over a year now. On the other hand I feel the need to prove to myself that although I made some mistakes in my personal life my employer shouldn't have to suffer for that and I should meet my commitments to them.
At this point all I'm really sure of is that getting married was a huge mistake and I don't want to be married anymore. Now what?