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My fault, I'm male.

Jul 31, 2010#1

Chazwozel

Just got me some straight razors today. Took my very first shave using one. My friends, you are not truly a whole man if you do not try this at some point in your life. Greatest shave ever!

Oh this thread is for high fives on how fucking awesome it is to be a man!

Jul 31, 2010#2

CrimsonSoul

I went out and took some shots with my .40 cal today, I love shooting. It's fucking awesome to be a man!

Jul 31, 2010#3

Tinwhistler

dude, I love penis.

Wait..I mean I love my penis! That's what I meant! Shut up! :oops:

Jul 31, 2010#4

Frankie Williamson

I wear a gun, a tazer, 2 different OC sprays, a telescoping baton and 2 sets of handcuffs around my waist every day I work. I'm a MA....wait, there's women that do that too.

Jul 31, 2010#5

HCGLNS

Chazwozel said:
Just got me some straight razors today. Took my very first shave using one. My friends, you are not truly a whole man if you do not try this at some point in your life. Greatest shave ever!

Welcome to the best investment in shaving you will ever make.

Jul 31, 2010#6

Officer_Charon

Frank said:
I wear a gun, a tazer, 2 different OC sprays, a telescoping baton and 2 sets of handcuffs around my waist every day I work. I'm a MA....wait, there's women that do that too.

I'll give you a brofist for that, dude. *grins*

And 2 OCs? What do you have, a canister as well?

Jul 31, 2010#7

Terrik

my beard itches.

Jul 31, 2010#8

Allen, who is Quiet

I'm a man.
But sometimes, I want to smell like a different smelling man.

Jul 31, 2010#9

Cheesy1

My whole body is covered in hair and I don't care! It's fucking awesome to be a man!

Jul 31, 2010#10

Officer_Charon

Terrik said:
my beard itches.

My kingdom for an Old Spice Guy image macro

Jul 31, 2010#11

Frankie Williamson

Officer_Charon;422379][QUOTE=Frank said:
I wear a gun, a tazer, 2 different OC sprays, a telescoping baton and 2 sets of handcuffs around my waist every day I work. I'm a MA....wait, there's women that do that too.

I'll give you a brofist for that, dude. *grins*

And 2 OCs? What do you have, a canister as well?[/QUOTE]

Nah, the holster for them I have holds two. Just the itty bitty ones.

Jul 31, 2010#12

Chazwozel

I took a walk from the pub this evening with my best buddies. We had to piss really bad so we peed in an ally on 15th St and Market. FUCK YEAH!

Jul 31, 2010#13

Officer_Charon

Frank said:
Nah, the holster for them I have holds two. Just the itty bitty ones.

I may have to invest in that, but if I pull out my OC, you have pissed me off in a major way - I hate the stuff; I'd rather baton you into submission first.

Jul 31, 2010#14

Chazwozel

Tinwhistler said:
dude, I love penis.

Wait..I mean I love my penis! That's what I meant! Shut up!

Man love is perfectly welcome in here if one swings that way. BRO-FIST!

Jul 31, 2010#15

Rob King

My penis sometimes gets in the way, but I would not take a uterus for all the king's gold.

Jul 31, 2010#16

Chazwozel

I love my dick, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with my dick. Oh who am I kidding. Come here you!

Jul 31, 2010#17

Rob King

I'm not sure if I can say I'm in love with my dick. I mean, it's pretty great and all, but it's just so ... cumbersome sometimes. And those times when I wake up at night and I've somehow gotten it wrapped around my neck, I wonder if it's trying to kill me.

But, HAH! I mean, we've all been there, right?

Jul 31, 2010#18

The Lovely Boehner

I'm going through the process to become a teacher, and going to classes and stuff. And it's overwhelmingly women in the classes. Okay, that's fine. But it seems all the pronouns seem to be she she she for the teachers, and he he he for the disruptive children in class in examples. Also, today during groupwork, I was the only guy in a group. Someone said something about being nervous that they don't have much experience dealing with little kids, and they got a chorus of "oh, your maternal instinct will kick in". I kind of sheepishly said after that "Uh, well, I'm having the same nervousness too". and I got a response of "Oh. Well, you'll figure out something!" #MFIM

Jul 31, 2010#19

Officer_Charon

The Lovely Boner said:
I'm going through the process to become a teacher, and going to classes and stuff. And it's overwhelmingly women in the classes. Okay, that's fine. But it seems all the pronouns seem to be she she she for the teachers, and he he he for the disruptive children in class in examples. Also, today during groupwork, I was the only guy in a group. Someone said something about being nervous that they don't have much experience dealing with little kids, and they got a chorus of "oh, your maternal instinct will kick in". I kind of sheepishly said after that "Uh, well, I'm having the same nervousness too". and I got a response of "Oh. Well, you'll figure out something!" #MFIM

Well-played sir.... *golfclap*

Jul 31, 2010#20

Hailey Knight

The Lovely Boner said:
I'm going through the process to become a teacher, and going to classes and stuff. And it's overwhelmingly women in the classes. Okay, that's fine. But it seems all the pronouns seem to be she she she for the teachers, and he he he for the disruptive children in class in examples. Also, today during groupwork, I was the only guy in a group. Someone said something about being nervous that they don't have much experience dealing with little kids, and they got a chorus of "oh, your maternal instinct will kick in". I kind of sheepishly said after that "Uh, well, I'm having the same nervousness too". and I got a response of "Oh. Well, you'll figure out something!" #MFIM

That really captured the spirit of the other site, and was honestly a little messed up.

They could've at least thrown in a non-commital "Yours will kick in too" or something to show support.

Jul 31, 2010#21

Philosopher B.

Rob King said:
I'm not sure if I can say I'm in love with my dick. I mean, it's pretty great and all, but it's just so ... cumbersome sometimes. And those times when I wake up at night and I've somehow gotten it wrapped around my neck, I wonder if it's trying to kill me.

But, HAH! I mean, we've all been there, right?

Totally. My dick is like a long train crossed with the energizer bunny. It just keeps on going and going and going!

Aug 1, 2010#22

PatrThom

Chazwozel said:
Just got me some straight razors today. Took my very first shave using one. My friends, you are not truly a whole man if you do not try this at some point in your life. Greatest shave ever!

--Patrick

(EDIT: Yes, I know I already posted this in the awesome videos thread)

Aug 1, 2010#23

Rob King

I've had classicshaving.com bookmarked for almost a year, waiting for the day I have $100+ extra dollars sitting around for a razor kit.

Aug 1, 2010#24

Telephius

Frank said:
I wear a gun, a tazer, 2 different OC sprays, a telescoping baton and 2 sets of handcuffs around my waist every day I work. I'm a MA....wait, there's women that do that too.

Suprise twist, they really have a penis! ;p

Aug 1, 2010#25

Frankie Williamson

Officer_Charon;422396][QUOTE=Frank said:
Nah, the holster for them I have holds two. Just the itty bitty ones.

I may have to invest in that, but if I pull out my OC, you have pissed me off in a major way - I hate the stuff; I'd rather baton you into submission first.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I've never had to use them myself and I wouldn't even carry a tazer if I didn't have to. Most guys use them as a crutch.

Aug 1, 2010#26

Rob King

Frank said:
Yeah, I've never had to use them myself and I wouldn't even carry a tazer if I didn't have to. Most guys use them as a crutch.

I must be confused. I thought the RCMP wasn't using tazers until ... something. Or maybe because of something?

Yeah, nevermind. I must be confused.

Aug 1, 2010#27

phil

My toe is doing a weird thing but I'm not going to bother checking it out because it doesn't hurt.

MMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Aug 1, 2010#28

Chazwozel

The Lovely Boner said:
I'm going through the process to become a teacher, and going to classes and stuff. And it's overwhelmingly women in the classes. Okay, that's fine. But it seems all the pronouns seem to be she she she for the teachers, and he he he for the disruptive children in class in examples. Also, today during groupwork, I was the only guy in a group. Someone said something about being nervous that they don't have much experience dealing with little kids, and they got a chorus of "oh, your maternal instinct will kick in". I kind of sheepishly said after that "Uh, well, I'm having the same nervousness too". and I got a response of "Oh. Well, you'll figure out something!" #MFIM

You should have whipped your dick out and flopped it on the table. That's the solution to all of life's problems.

Aug 1, 2010#29

Frankie Williamson

Rob King;422482][QUOTE=Frank said:
Yeah, I've never had to use them myself and I wouldn't even carry a tazer if I didn't have to. Most guys use them as a crutch.

I must be confused. I thought the RCMP wasn't using tazers until ... something. Or maybe because of something?

Yeah, nevermind. I must be confused.[/QUOTE]

We try not to use the older M26s anymore (since they're turbo faulty), but we still have a hefty supply of x26s. There are tons of new rules regarding their use (such as only during moments of public safety concern and the like, which is funny, because in those moments, I would pull out my gun.). It's basically a compliance tool now.

Aug 1, 2010#30

ThatNickGuy

Chazwozel said:
You should have whipped your dick out and flopped it on the table. That's the solution to all of life's problems.

Is it?! Well hot damn, no one ever told me that! I'm gonna do that to solve all my problems now!

....

*is promptly arrested*

---------- Post added at 06:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:39 AM ----------

Also, whenever I think about being a man, I think of this song:

Aug 1, 2010#31

Chazwozel

ThatNickGuy said:
Chazwozel said:

You should have whipped your dick out and flopped it on the table. That's the solution to all of life's problems.

Click to expand...

Is it?! Well hot damn, no one ever told me that! I'm gonna do that to solve all my problems now!

....

*is promptly arrested*

---------- Post added at 06:41 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:39 AM ----------

Also, whenever I think about being a man, I think of this song:

WHat a dumbass. Every man knows you break the concrete bag inside a wheelbarrow!

Aug 1, 2010#32

Bones

Frank;422515][QUOTE=Rob King;422482][QUOTE=Frank said:
Yeah, I've never had to use them myself and I wouldn't even carry a tazer if I didn't have to. Most guys use them as a crutch.

those things scare the crap out of me, seriously if a cop told me he was a K9 officer I would do whatever he said, I can take a beating and stuff, but I do not want to screw with both a fully armed police officer and a dog that is trained to hold me.
anyways...now you're a man, a manly man!

Aug 1, 2010#33

Docseverin

Today I got paid for working out in the gym, and playing world of warcraft..only no American women within 20 miles of me #MFIIM

Aug 1, 2010#34

Ravenpoe

The Lovely Boner said:
I'm going through the process to become a teacher, and going to classes and stuff. And it's overwhelmingly women in the classes. Okay, that's fine. But it seems all the pronouns seem to be she she she for the teachers, and he he he for the disruptive children in class in examples. Also, today during groupwork, I was the only guy in a group. Someone said something about being nervous that they don't have much experience dealing with little kids, and they got a chorus of "oh, your maternal instinct will kick in". I kind of sheepishly said after that "Uh, well, I'm having the same nervousness too". and I got a response of "Oh. Well, you'll figure out something!" #MFIM

Throughout my school life (not counting college, where the numbers were a little different), I'd say less than 10% of the teachers I had were male.

However, of the favorite teachers that stick out in my mind, about 50% of them are male.

I'm not saying that men make better teachers. Not at all, I had just as many awesome female teachers. But since there is a social expectation of school teachers to be women, I'd guess that the men who succeed in becoming teachers are the ones with enough drive to get through that.

Aug 1, 2010#35

Chazwozel

Docseverin said:
Today I got paid for working out in the gym, and playing world of warcraft..only no American women within 20 miles of me #MFIIM

Earlier this week, I was paid to play golf and later drink beer.

Aug 1, 2010#36

Gusto

Yesterday I worked, played a round of golf with my friend on his corporate pass, and went out to a lounge with my friends last night where I purchased what a friend called "sexy man-drinks".

Today I'm sitting in my boxers, eating candy and drinking tea.

Aug 1, 2010#37

Officer_Charon

Chazwozel;422600][QUOTE=Docseverin said:
Today I got paid for working out in the gym, and playing world of warcraft..only no American women within 20 miles of me #MFIIM

Earlier this week, I was paid to play golf and later drink beer.[/QUOTE]

I get paid to wrestle, shoot, command, and take away people's civil liberties when they're not using them any more. Just sayin...

Aug 1, 2010#38

Gusto

I get paid to cook food for people and do the dishes.

Aug 1, 2010#39

ThatNickGuy

Officer_Charon said:
I get paid to wrestle, shoot, command, and take away people's civil liberties when they're not using them any more. Just sayin...

Sorry, pal, this ain't the "My fault, I'm American" thread. *DUCKS!!*

Aug 1, 2010#40

Officer_Charon

ThatNickGuy;422622][QUOTE=Officer_Charon said:
I get paid to wrestle, shoot, command, and take away people's civil liberties when they're not using them any more. Just sayin...

Sorry, pal, this ain't the "My fault, I'm American" thread. *DUCKS!!*[/QUOTE]

*golfclap*

*hides Claymore trigger behind foot*

Aug 1, 2010#41

drifter

Kinda off topic, but how awesome would it be to have a claymore that exploded into claymores? More or less awesome than the Punisher's sword-gun?

Aug 1, 2010#42

Officer_Charon

Alternately, how balling would you be to have a gold-plated Claymore that fired diamonds, rather than shot?

Aug 1, 2010#43

ThatNickGuy

*suddenly pictures the Old Spice guy holding a claymore, which explodes and says "The claymore is now DIAMONDS!"*

Aug 1, 2010#44

Officer_Charon

ThatNickGuy said:
*suddenly pictures the Old Spice guy holding a claymore, which explodes and says "The claymore is now DIAMONDS!"*

Dude, my head... you're in it. *brofist*

Aug 1, 2010#45

Bones

you guys are so crazy

Aug 1, 2010#46

Wasabi Poptart

*walks in, puts up a room deodorizer, and leaves quickly*

Aug 1, 2010#47

HCGLNS

=pokes strange device=

"We've been ratted out here boys."

Aug 1, 2010#48

sixpackshaker

One of the best perks of being a man is the ability to easily pee out of doors, out of windows, and moving cars.

Aug 1, 2010#49

Philosopher B.

*Writes his name in the snow*

Aug 1, 2010#50

Officer_Charon

Aug 1, 2010#51

PatrThom

Funny. I always think of this song.

Er, um, GUNS!

--Patrick

Aug 2, 2010#52

Bubble181

Yesterday, I spent most of the day completely naked. My girlfriend cooked for me and we had sex in front of the TV. Also, liquor.
Good day to be a man.

Aug 2, 2010#53

Frankie Williamson

Officer_Charon;422606][QUOTE=Chazwozel;422600][QUOTE=Docseverin said:
Today I got paid for working out in the gym, and playing world of warcraft..only no American women within 20 miles of me #MFIIM

Aug 2, 2010#54

Docseverin

I have my first Amateur Cage fight when I get back. I already have a good basis of Brazilian Jujitsu I got to train with Hoyce Gracie when he did a training session with my unit. I am excited for it, I started my gym log and flexibility training. only 12 months to train!

Aug 2, 2010#55

Green_Lantern

Tinwhistler said:
dude, I love penis.

me too!

Tinwhistler said:
Wait..I mean I love my penis! That's what I meant! Shut up!

me too!

yay for penis's loving.

however, my beard is a bitch.

Aug 2, 2010#56

Gusto

Green_Lantern said:
however, my beard is a bitch.

That's what she said.

:awesome:

Aug 2, 2010#57

crono1224

I wonder what joke will derail this thread into a possible oblivion.

Aug 2, 2010#58

Rob King

crono1224 said:
I wonder what joke will derail this thread into a possible oblivion.

Women's rights, amirite?

Aug 3, 2010#59

Bubble181

That's not a joke, that's a tragedy!

Aug 3, 2010#60

SpecialKO

Seriously? 4 pages and no one posted this?

Considering the origins of this thread, it's doubly appropriate.

Aug 3, 2010#61

The Lovely Boehner

crono1224 said:
I wonder what joke will derail this thread into a possible oblivion.

This thread was always a joke

Aug 3, 2010#62

darkangel6988

Wasabi Poptart said:
*walks in, puts up a room deodorizer, and leaves quickly*

Good Call

Aug 3, 2010#63

Shannow

Aug 3, 2010#64

Rob King

Aug 3, 2010#65

Chazwozel

The Lovely Boner;423164][QUOTE=crono1224 said:
I wonder what joke will derail this thread into a possible oblivion.

This thread was always a joke[/QUOTE]

NOT IT'S NOT! IT'S TOTALLY FOR SERIOUS ASSHOLE!

---------- Post added at 08:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 08:45 AM ----------