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My son started college today. We didn't know he was going to, but I brought him in for a meeting with a counselor and they signed him up. As I left my own meeting (he went to his meeting on his own), he was being sent to class. English Comp I. This class is going to kill him. He's not exactly a wordsmith.

Every Tuesday/Thursday this semester he'll come to work with me and hit class, then come back to my desk. I'll take him home for lunch.

I'm not sure he's ready for this.But it gets him out of the house, right?

Give em a swift kick in the pants for me, Dave!

At least the price is right. We pay for the books but the schooling itself is totally free because I'm an employee.

So what you're saying is, he's taking AP courses? Or is he already a HS grad and is just taking the lightest freshman semester evar?

GasBandit said:

So what you're saying is, he's taking AP courses? Or is he already a HS grad and is just taking the lightest freshman semester evar?

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Baby steps, Gas. Baby steps.

GasBandit said:

So what you're saying is, he's taking AP courses? Or is he already a HS grad and is just taking the lightest freshman semester evar?

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He's a HS grad and two classes are all that we could get him into this semester due to the lateness of the application. I figured he'd just start in summer but after having taken a full year off I'm not exactly against having a light schedule the first semester before he goes full time. Get him back into the swing of things.

Glad to hear he's doing something.

Dave;354961][QUOTE=GasBandit said:

So what you're saying is, he's taking AP courses? Or is he already a HS grad and is just taking the lightest freshman semester evar?

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He's a HS grad and two classes are all that we could get him into this semester due to the lateness of the application. I figured he'd just start in summer but after having taken a full year off I'm not exactly against having a light schedule the first semester before he goes full time. Get him back into the swing of things.[/QUOTE]

That's actually a really good idea. If you overburden him (like many, many college kids do), all you'll do to him is stress freak him out about the whole experience. I took light courses my first semester freshman year and then my last semester senior year. Man, it was nice to cushion myself with a solid 4.0 GPA when I started, and then ride out my 3.8 when I was leaving.

Free College. Damn idiot if he passed that up.

And because it's free, he doesn't need to rush it either. He can go at his own pace and not worry about racking up a huge debt from living expenses and college.

Just don't let him turn into Van Wilder. That's a hip reference right?

I just hope he meets a girl and gets laid. Or a guy. Or a fish. Something. He's never been on a date, never expressed interest in ANYONE whether the same or opposite sex. I know he looks at porn - really weird, really disturbing porn - but the only reason I know that is because of my key logging software.

Boy turns 19 in May and needs to find a life while he still can.

(Damned learning disabilities and social dysfunctional disorders!)

Congratulations, first steps in a brave new world. Sounds like he may have a tougher time but nothing wrong with slow and steady. He'll break out of his shell, my son took a while too.

Use what you've learned from the porn and introduce him to someone he might like.

"Hey, this is my friend Mika. You two have a lot in common. She likes hamburger joints, horror movies, has a penis and fantasizes about getting raped by a tentacle."

Dave said:

I just hope he meets a girl and gets laid. Or a guy. Or a fish. Something. He's never been on a date, never expressed interest in ANYONE whether the same or opposite sex. I know he looks at porn - really weird, really disturbing porn - but the only reason I know that is because of my key logging software.

Boy turns 19 in May and needs to find a life while he still can.

(Damned learning disabilities and social dysfunctional disorders!)

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Didn't you guys get that escort I ordered for him?

hazzah! A fantab start.

Oh I failed to actually say "Congratulations."

so, yeah: Congratulations.

Great! Congrats to the young Nihsen man. I'll sacrifice a chicken to the gods of "getting laid" for him, Dave, if you think that'll help... or if Chaz's escort fails to show up.

Fun Size said:

Use what you've learned from the porn and introduce him to someone he might like.

"Hey, this is my friend Mika. You two have a lot in common. She likes hamburger joints, horror movies, has a penis and fantasizes about getting raped by a tentacle."

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You know what really creeped me about that statement? That's a male name in Finnish.

Otherwise, congrats to Papa Nihsen and Little Nihsen. Just give him a beer bong and get him to some sorority house, and let nature take its course.

Shegokigo said:

Video celebrating college for its pervasive alcoholism and rampant, indiscriminate swapping of bodily fluids

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No wonder the chinese are kicking our ass at mathematics. (NSFW)

After watching that video I was going to say college sure has changed. Then I thought for a bit. I thought why is he talking in a song, he's ruining the beat. Then I thought why did he (or his parents) pay all that tuition when he could party anywhere. Then I thought why is the overlay ID backwards. Then I thought this video could do with its own thread.

My college days rocked in comparison.

Disconnected said:

After watching that video I was going to say college sure has changed.

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How long have you been out? I graduated seven years ago and this song is still fairly accurate (beer pong, thirsty Thursday, natty light (/shudder)).

My GF is in college, we attend dorm parties frequentely. That song is pretty dead on.

Also, talking = ruining a song? Snoop Dogg's entire career would care to disagree with you.

Snoop Dogg was so baked he thought he WAS singing.

Yet he still produces, to this day, some of the more enjoyable "hip hop" released.

I miss college. almost enough to make me quit my job, take out a shit ton more loans, and go back to grad school. (Such...such a good idea...)


But in all seriousness, congrats to you and yours, Dave, and I wish your family all the success it can handle, and then some more.

I just found out that he CAN'T go full time without taking out loans. They reimburse up to 30 credit hours a year. So 10 classes per year. Which means 4-5 years to complete. Still living at home.

Wait, isnt 12 classes a semester full time? So why not just do 15 and 15 for fall and spring, and he is full time and covered. Summers off to work, etc.

12 qualifies as full time for most "on paper" purposes... but when I was in school, if I wasn't taking 16+ credit hours a semester, my old man accused me of slacking off or having a 5 year degree plan.

Dave said:

I just found out that he CAN'T go full time without taking out loans. They reimburse up to 30 credit hours a year. So 10 classes per year. Which means 4-5 years to complete. Still living at home.

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I go that route, why take out a loan? Don't have to rush things (it would be easier on him too)

Well.... there are always college babe/dudes out there

I assume since his son started school *now* that the school in question is a trimester school? Because you could easily be full time on credits in a 2 semester school with 30 credits a year, but would only be 10 a trimester and not full time in a trimester school.

GasBandit said:

12 qualifies as full time for most "on paper" purposes... but when I was in school, if I wasn't taking 16+ credit hours a semester, my old man accused me of slacking off or having a 5 year degree plan.

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Yes, true, that is how most of us were. But when the kid is getting the classes for free, I would personally take the 12-15 credit route, and use the extra time for work/fun/interning. Not to mention focus on the classes being taken.

bigcountry23;355230][QUOTE=Disconnected said:

After watching that video I was going to say college sure has changed.

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How long have you been out? I graduated seven years ago and this song is still fairly accurate (beer pong, thirsty Thursday, natty light (/shudder)).[/QUOTE]

I haven't been in college for... double-digit number of years.

Ugh I fucking hate Asher Roth, that stupid no-way-like-college party bullshit he's touting. I've been to some insane parties, and yet, nothing so audaciously toolbox and cliché.

Hey freshman shut the fuck up and go play beer pong in your dorms.

Shannow said:

I miss college. almost enough to make me quit my job, take out a shit ton more loans, and go back to grad school. (Such...such a good idea...)


But in all seriousness, congrats to you and yours, Dave, and I wish your family all the success it can handle, and then some more.

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Grad school is depressing, you think it's going to be awesome like undergrad, but it's not.

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bigcountry23;355230][QUOTE=Disconnected said:

After watching that video I was going to say college sure has changed.

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How long have you been out? I graduated seven years ago and this song is still fairly accurate (beer pong, thirsty Thursday, natty light (/shudder)).[/QUOTE]

I graduated in 2004, and that music video describes pretty much half of my time spent in undergrad.

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ElJuski said:

Ugh I fucking hate Asher Roth, that stupid no-way-like-college party bullshit he's touting. I've been to some insane parties, and yet, nothing so audaciously toolbox and cliché.

Hey freshman shut the fuck up and go play beer pong in your dorms.

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Juski: The original unique party animal.

Pffft. Hardly. I'm just calling bullshit on that "just like college" business. I have seen and been through some wild fucking shit, and it's not like that. We can all pretend it is, but it ain't! Pieces withstanding, of course, because yes, I'm sure I've done plenty of the things described in that stupid song...but that song just jacks the douchebag level up 1,000 points. That shit is for highschool seniors to get hyped on college for.

I will, I swear, write a parody song one day...

After 2 years in college I've yet to be invited to (or hear about, or see a flyer for) any kind of college party

Might be cause I'm in a dang community college.

I am speaking from current (past 3 years and as recent as last month) experience.

Asher Roth is wack.

Shegokigo said:

I am speaking from current (past 3 years and as recent as last month) experience.

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I'm speaking from six years of experience, undergrad and postbac, at a party school, with a Big 10 University down the road. I just don't believe you.

Yeah Juice, cause every college campus is identical to the last.

I have every reason to lie, to win an internet argument :laugh: That's a riot.

GasBandit said:

12 qualifies as full time for most "on paper" purposes... but when I was in school, if I wasn't taking 16+ credit hours a semester, my old man accused me of slacking off or having a 5 year degree plan.

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Yup, I took between 12-14 per semester at the community college I'm at and I am a 2nd year sophomore because of it. I only needed 1 credit to graduate before this semester so I could have done it in 2.5 years if I would have taken a summer class or winterim class but I hadn't decided to transfer to Iowa State yet so I was like eh I will just go full time this semester to stay on my Dads insurance. I am probably going to be taking 18 or so credits starting in the fall but that will actually be doable because I am living on campus just off my student loans, not getting a job because I want to focus and do well. I had to work here while going to school and it seriously effected my grades, and my school schedule pretty much had to work around work so that meant less credits, less choice in class times, and just not having time to really study... but I had to work where as I didn't have to go to school.

Congrats! This is very good! He's doing something, which is better (obviously) than nothing, and if he continues next year this is the start of a very good path (in life, professionally, whatev).

Shegokigo said:

Yeah Juice, cause every college campus is identical to the last.

I have every reason to lie, to win an internet argument :laugh: That's a riot.

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Who says it's an argument? I think I've seen plenty of college campuses and definitely plenty of parties. You're totally exaggerating.

I was invited to one of the parties much like the one on the video (except the women weren't as good looking). I felt uncomfortable because I only knew 1 guy and he left me alone pretty much right away, people were smoking pot all over and I was about 8 years older than everyone.

That was in 1990.

They may not be the norm but these parties do happen.

Dave said:

I was about 8 years older than everyone.

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Bingo night at the nursing home?

ElJuski;355543][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:

Yeah Juice, cause every college campus is identical to the last.

I have every reason to lie, to win an internet argument :laugh: That's a riot.

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Who says it's an argument? I think I've seen plenty of college campuses and definitely plenty of parties. You're totally exaggerating.[/QUOTE]

So have I. Hell, just four years ago I went to a party at Penn State main campus. I literally had a pitcher of grain alcohol randomly given to me. Yes, parties in college can get that wacky.

That's how the parties were at both universities I went to, and one was a teeny tiny Mining/Tech college that didn't have a single sports team, and the other is in the Big 12.

Chazwozel;355563][QUOTE=ElJuski;355543][QUOTE=Shegokigo said:

Yeah Juice, cause every college campus is identical to the last.

I have every reason to lie, to win an internet argument :laugh: That's a riot.

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Who says it's an argument? I think I've seen plenty of college campuses and definitely plenty of parties. You're totally exaggerating.[/QUOTE]

So have I. Hell, just four years ago I went to a party at Penn State main campus. I literally had a pitcher of grain alcohol randomly given to me. Yes, parties in college can get that wacky.[/QUOTE]

If that's the best story you got : /...

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But all right, I realize that I basically just started a "whose dick is bigger" thing going on. And I still think people are exaggerating with rose-tinted glasses, and that song still fucking blows. But yes, the chances that it can happen is in the realm of possibility.

And really, the whole point is that we party, innit? If you guys have seen that youtube in its reality...well, woohoo. I hope you had fun. I hope the stereotypes were fun, too

I really think that if we went back in time and actually saw the shit you guys were at, it wouldn't stack up to the pure toolbox stereotype that music video has. I'm going to hold the help that they were actually better parties. That is my hope!

Juski: The early years.

My best story involves waking up on the roof of a car with a TV

I don't party. I was uncomfortable. I was like the creepy older dude who goes to spring break parties to see topless women they could never get again.

Man, I never partied. I went to a street party in a college rent house neighborhood for Halloween, but I didn't do anything crazy. A guy dressed as Jesus got smacked around by a cop, though. That was interesting to see. And I got to watch a buddy of mine agonize while a really unappealing woman pawed at him.

I did a lot of crazy shit in college. I threw a couple of all campus parties with over 400 in attendance.

I was the social chair for my fraternity for a while. I made the magic happen.

The stuff in that video, sorry Juski, that shit happens. My crew tended to get a bit more... pharmaceutical... so the scene and resulting stories were a bit weirder than the typical binge-drink-a-thon.

I'm a little confused. Is the argument that the video portrays an unrealistic party? Is that what Juski is getting all bent out of shape about?

I went to a few frat parties in undergrad. They were pretty standard bunch of drunken idiots wandering around parties. I hated it so I didn't go to very many so my sample of parties is pretty low but I could see how the parties could turn into stuff like the video.

Well, yeah, that and the fact that Asher Roth's idea of a party is a stereotypical toolbag / douchefest. It's all a giant eyeroll for me. But, again, I realize that I just painted myself in the corner of wagging my dick out at the whole thing. I know I'm being way whiny about it. Just party on, brochachos, and try not to be a douchebag. I love fucking with those guys.

I'm curious, what constitutes as an awesome, non douchebag Juski affair?

Chazwozel said:

I'm curious, what constitutes as an awesome, non douchebag Juski affair?

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Sitting around quietly sipping chamomile in a non-threatening environment while playing trivial pursuit?

Man, there's plenty of things. They usually involve good music, good people, hot girls and a fucking hangover that lasts and lasts and lasts.

And, you know, people who aren't intrinsically dumb and boring.

If only HowDroll were here to back me up on what I consider a good college party...but she doesn't have time anymore to visit, with her bone-buddy and all

ElJuski said:

Man, there's plenty of things. They usually involve good music, good people, hot girls and a fucking hangover that lasts and lasts and lasts.

And, you know, people who aren't intrinsically dumb and boring.

If only HowDroll were here to back me up on what I consider a good college party...but she doesn't have time anymore to visit, with her bone-buddy and all

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And this is different from every other college party under the sun how?

Eh, my definition of a good party involves numbers. The more the merrier. It ain't no party lest you got at least 30 mother fuckers up in the place, a keg of beer, and a live band.

btw: I'm translating that you're into sausage fests + 2 chicks, amiright!?!??!??!

A party where the main goal of the people there is to get shit-faced is a crappy party in my opinion.

makare1 said:

A party where the main goal of the people there is to get shit-faced is a crappy party in my opinion.

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And now you know why you spend your nights alone.

Chazwozel;356023][QUOTE=makare1 said:

A party where the main goal of the people there is to get shit-faced is a crappy party in my opinion.

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And now you know why you spend your nights alone.

[/QUOTE]

I don't think so. Unlike you, apparently, I don't need someone to be hammered to go home with me.

makare1;356025][QUOTE=Chazwozel;356023][QUOTE=makare1 said:

A party where the main goal of the people there is to get shit-faced is a crappy party in my opinion.

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And now you know why you spend your nights alone.

[/QUOTE]

I don't think so. Unlike you, apparently, I don't need someone to be hammered to go home with me.[/QUOTE]

pfft...alcohol is for amatures. Roofie-coladas is where it's at.

Giggity giggity.. oh YEAH!.....?

makare1 said:

Giggity giggity.. oh YEAH!.....?

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Now you're on the trolley.

You guys crack me up.
But yeah, even here in Germany, I have been to a couple of parties that were almost identical to the one in the video.Maybe with a little more Hash and Weed.
I guess that the template for college parties is in most countries the same.

This isn't turning into anything Juice. I wasn't saying "you said it was an argument". Simply put, I have no reason to exaggerate or lie. Why would I? Unless you were implying that I was trying to "win" a conversation.

You pansies, Bubbles and I should invite you to a real college party.

I'd go. I'd sit in the corner all by myself with an overcoat and dark glasses. I wouldn't talk to anyone and would stare at the women.


If I'm going to feel uncomfortable I'm taking someone with me.

Dave said:

I'd go. I'd sit in the corner all by myself with an overcoat and dark glasses. I wouldn't talk to anyone and would stare at the women.

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And thus Dave describes another day of his riding the bus to work.

I think at this point, we're just on different pages of what college parties are, these days. Frats won't give you live bands. They'll give you assholes, stuck up bitches and that 50 Cent song a few years ago.

But really, at this point, again, it's all dick wagging. I concede, because--really and again--as long as you're having a good time, that's sweet. Parties are fun.

ElJuski said:

I think at this point, we're just on different pages of what college parties are, these days. Frats won't give you live bands. They'll give you assholes, stuck up bitches and that 50 Cent song a few years ago.

But really, at this point, again, it's all dick wagging. I concede, because--really and again--as long as you're having a good time, that's sweet. Parties are fun.

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What the fuck are you talking about? Every frat party I've been to had a live band. One of them had Shaggy play. Another had Jimmi's Chicken Shack. This is my college undergrad span from 2000 to 2004 at various PA colleges. What kind of bumfuck colleges do they have up in Chicago?

Have you ever actually been to a frat or all your assumptions and knowledge based off the Revenge of the Nerds movies?

I've DJed a few frat parties. Nothing like what was on the video but they are good eye candy.

I threw a party at my fraternity where Less than Jake played. I partied with them "backstage" (my room). I was kind of off my rocker and I think I may have scared them a little.

How freaky do you have to be to freak out a ska band with punk influences?

Jake said:

I threw a party at my fraternity where Less than Jake played. I partied with them "backstage" (my room). I was kind of off my rocker and I think I may have scared them a little.

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Their name should have been their first warning.

GasBandit said:

How freaky do you have to be to freak out a ska band with punk influences?

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They were actually pretty normal dudes. I, however, was a total freak.

Chazwozel;356157][QUOTE=ElJuski said:

I think at this point, we're just on different pages of what college parties are, these days. Frats won't give you live bands. They'll give you assholes, stuck up bitches and that 50 Cent song a few years ago.

But really, at this point, again, it's all dick wagging. I concede, because--really and again--as long as you're having a good time, that's sweet. Parties are fun.

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What the fuck are you talking about? Every frat party I've been to had a live band. One of them had Shaggy play. Another had Jimmi's Chicken Shack. This is my college undergrad span from 2000 to 2004 at various PA colleges. What kind of bumfuck colleges do they have up in Chicago?

Have you ever actually been to a frat or all your assumptions and knowledge based off the Revenge of the Nerds movies?[/QUOTE]

I have been to maybe one or two frat parties with a live band playing--I'm basically an honorary member at a frat up at UoI (waxes cool card, puts it away). I've been to hella other non-frat parties with bands playing all the time. Bands that are really worth it, though, won't play at Sigma Chi Douchebag. They'll play, at, oh, you know, venues. Bars, etc.

I guess parties are a wee bit different outside of Chicagoland / UoI / EIU.

Math242 said:

You pansies, Bubbles and I should invite you to a real college party.

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Rock on.