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MY TOE IS GUSHING BLOOD

May 5, 2013#1

Charlie Don't Surf

BACKSTORY: I got a kind of big corn from running a little while ago on my middle toe. I treated it with salycic acid like you do, but it still was pretty angry and big and painful. I also soaked it in real hot water and tried to file it down (thanks WEBMD) but this made it kind of... worse. I'm terrible at self-care, so I just kind of ignored it, and it got kind of unsightly and scabby, but not hurting enough to go to a doctor really. But I was a little concerned it hadn't gone away!

Anyways, today. I was wearing my fuzzy pajamas like I am wont to do. And I decided, fuck that, it's warm, I need something that breathes more. So I whipped them off. And part of the fuzz must have caught on the thing. Since uh. It was COMPLETELY ripped off. Now I have a bloody hole about a half-inch in diameter on my toe.

Actually while I was writing this, it got better and stopped bleeding, it was just kind of fucked up and bloody for a little bit. Whew, crisis averted, now I'm gonna drink some since that was a lot of blood for a minute.

May 5, 2013#2

Jay

May 5, 2013#3

HCGLNS

May 5, 2013#4

PatrThom

You may have followed my earlier comments on a similar saga, Charlie Don't Surf , since I'm still recovering from Self-Surgery-Gone-Wrong to cure my own ingrown toenail woes. If you have trouble getting the bleeding/oozing to stop, just break out a cheap soldering iron and teach those calluses to not come around any more.

Seemed to work pretty well for me.

--Patrick

May 5, 2013#5

BErt

Definitely drink as much as you can after you lose a lot of blood it is the best medicine

<--- totally a doctor

May 5, 2013#6

Charlie Don't Surf

the bleeding stopped pretty fast! I'm okay.

May 5, 2013#7

SpecialKO

...your first impulse was to write a panicked message on the forum? :confused:

May 5, 2013#8

Chad Sexington

SpecialKO said:
...your first impulse was to write a panicked message on the forum?

Wait, what do you do when you're injured or sick?

May 5, 2013#9

Zappit

SpecialKO said:
...your first impulse was to write a panicked message on the forum?

Why not? I'm sure Gilgamesh would have come along and posted that Charlie was wrong. Then he would have been perfectly fine!

May 5, 2013#10

SpecialKO

Chad Sexington said:
Wait, what do you do when you're injured or sick?

WebMD, duh! That's how I know I have rabies.

May 5, 2013#11

Charlie Don't Surf

Look, I couldn't let you guys think you ran me off or something

May 5, 2013#12

HCGLNS

Pics are required CDS.

May 5, 2013#13

Charlie Don't Surf

It just looks like a scab

May 5, 2013#14

ThatNickGuy

That is completely disgusting.

I have no idea why I'm aroused.

May 5, 2013#15

Zappit

Charlie Don't Surf said:
Look, I couldn't let you guys think you ran me off or something

Running off with a foot leaking like a sieve? Oh, I don't think so!

May 5, 2013#16

PatrThom

At least we'll be able to track him.

--Patrick

May 8, 2013#17

Frank

PatrThom said:
You may have followed my earlier comments on a similar saga, Charlie Don't Surf , since I'm still recovering from Self-Surgery-Gone-Wrong to cure my own ingrown toenail woes. If you have trouble getting the bleeding/oozing to stop, just break out a cheap soldering iron and teach those calluses to not come around any more.

Seemed to work pretty well for me.

--Patrick

A friend of mine cured his chronic ingrown toenail issue with a pair of pliers. He's missing 4 toe nails now.

May 8, 2013#18

PatrThom

Frank said:
A friend of mine cured his chronic ingrown toenail issue with a pair of pliers. He's missing 4 toe nails now.

Mine was nothing special, it just got infected and painful. Now it's just itchy and scabby and almost back to normal.

--Patrick

May 8, 2013#19

GasBandit

Frank said:
A friend of mine cured his chronic ingrown toenail issue with a pair of pliers. He's missing 4 toe nails now.

I went to a doctor to have that done for me. Involved some cortisone first, but then out came the pliers. The nail grew back, though.

May 8, 2013#20

LordRendar

Welp.Not hungry anymore.

May 8, 2013#21

Officer_Charon

On the contrary... now I have the munchies

May 8, 2013#22

GasBandit

Incidentally, they showed it to me after pulling it off. It looked like a piece of onion, peeled off from the outside.

May 8, 2013#23

PatrThom

Officer_Charon said:
On the contrary... now I have the munchies

For Chee-toes?

--Patrick

May 8, 2013#24

Bowielee

LordRendar said:
Welp.Not hungry anymore.

You entered a thread titled "my toe is gushing blood" and you're surprised?

May 8, 2013#25

Ravenpoe

GasBandit said:
I went to a doctor to have that done for me. Involved some cortisone first, but then out came the pliers. The nail grew back, though.

I also had this done because of an ingrown toenail. I also discovered that some people have an extra nerve in their big toe that makes it difficult to numb, and I'm one of those lucky people. They shot so much cortisone in me that my toe blew up like a balloon.

I thought they would have some kind of super advanced medical procedure for removing a toenail. Nope. They just grab that fucker with pliers and pull.

May 8, 2013#26

PatrThom

The ones I had done as a teen were just as a partial avulsion with application to the root of acid to prevent the nail from growing back. Well, some of it did, and that's the issue.

Normally, I just leave enough growth at the edges that there's nothing to dig into the skin, but once in a while, the little remaining sliver that didn't get acid-destroyed will dig into the side of my toe. Not a big deal if I catch it and pull it back out/trim it off, but there are times when something happens that makes it bad … this time I accidentally put our car seat down right on top of the toe, causing the sliver to stab deep into the nailbed (under the nail itself). After I stopped howling, I went after it, trimmed it, and cleaned it out, but guess I wasn't thorough enough because it got infected (like any puncture wound is prone to). This probably happened because I had to drive for 3hrs before I could tend to it, and that was enough time for the various bacteria to really entrench themselves.

Not a big deal, this was only the second time something like this has happened in decades, but when it does happen, it is quite annoying.

--Patrick

May 8, 2013#27

sixpackshaker

For all you guys with ingrown nails. Cut those nails square, never ever cut them round. Then your worries will be over.

May 8, 2013#28

Ravenpoe

sixpackshaker said:
For all you guys with ingrown nails. Cut those nails square, never ever cut them round. Then your worries will be over.

Mine happened when I ran over my toe with a pallet jack.

May 8, 2013#29

LordRendar

Bowielee said:
You entered a thread titled "my toe is gushing blood" and you're surprised?

This is all party of my new diet. "Gross yourself thin".

May 8, 2013#30

sixpackshaker

Ravenpoe said:
Mine happened when I ran over my toe with a pallet jack.

And a good pair of steel toed boots?

May 8, 2013#31

Zappit

PatrThom said:
For Chee-toes?

--Patrick

Personally I could go for some roast beef...

May 8, 2013#32

Officer_Charon

Zappit said:
Personally I could go for some Toe-st beef...

FTFY

May 9, 2013#33

PatrThom

Zappit said:
Personally I could go for some roast beef...

Well, little piggy, you get none.

--Patrick

May 9, 2013#34

Dave

Embarrassing confession: until I was married I never cut my toenails. I chewed them off. Usually after a shower because it made them softer and easier to "cut" through. I didn't have a set of clippers and either never remembered to buy them or was broke. Since I've been married, though, I don't do this. Mainly because I can afford clippers and I'm not as pliant as I used to be.

May 9, 2013#35

PatrThom

I think the statistics say that 1 out of every 5 Americans does this*, Dave. So you had a lot of company, even if it wasn't something that got talked about around the water cooler.

--Patrick
*Source: The Book of Lists (don't remember which one)

May 9, 2013#36

GasBandit

Dave said:
Embarrassing confession: until I was married I never cut my toenails. I chewed them off. Usually after a shower because it made them softer and easier to "cut" through. I didn't have a set of clippers and either never remembered to buy them or was broke. Since I've been married, though, I don't do this. Mainly because I can afford clippers and I'm not as pliant as I used to be.

LOL your old Dave Lister avatar suddenly seems a lot more fitting.

May 9, 2013#37

Chad Sexington

Dave said:
Embarrassing confession: until I was married I never cut my toenails. I chewed them off. Usually after a shower because it made them softer and easier to "cut" through. I didn't have a set of clippers and either never remembered to buy them or was broke. Since I've been married, though, I don't do this. Mainly because I can afford clippers and I'm not as pliant as I used to be.

what the flying fuck

PatrThom said:
1 out of every 5 Americans does this

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK

May 9, 2013#38

Bowielee

Are we going to have the wiping fight again?

May 9, 2013#39

Dave

Sitting down with a lean.

May 9, 2013#40

Tress

Dave said:
Sitting down with a lean.

Heathen.

May 9, 2013#41

Ravenpoe

Dave said:
Sitting down with a lean.

I stand, turn and face the toilet. Once finished, I put my hands on my hips, tilt my head back, and bellow a triumphant victory laugh.

All without pants, because I take my pants completely off. I don't like to feel restrained.

May 9, 2013#42

GasBandit

Electric shoe polisher.

May 9, 2013#43

Chad Sexington

Oh my god you guys.

We're trying to have a nice and disgusting thread about Charlie's gross toe wound, and you have to ruin it with chewed toenails and poop?!

What is this!

May 9, 2013#44

sixpackshaker

halforums.

May 9, 2013#45

Charlie Don't Surf

UPDATE it's kind of healed now, it's just a scab

also re: peeing, I also hate urinals because I like to drop my pants to the floor when I pee

May 9, 2013#46

Dave

Charlie Don't Surf said:
UPDATE it's kind of healed now, it's just a scab

also re: peeing, I also hate urinals because I like to drop my pants to the floor when I pee

I don't even drop my pants to the floor when I take a crap. Especially in a public bathroom. I make sure my feet are far enough apart that they don't hit the ground.

May 9, 2013#47

GasBandit

I try to only poop at home.

You know, where I keep my shoe buffer.

May 9, 2013#48

Charlie Don't Surf

Getting paid to take a huge, nasty shit at work is one of my life's few pure true pleasures.

May 9, 2013#49

BananaHands

You haven't POOPED until you've had to use one of these babies at a music festival:

May 9, 2013#50

sixpackshaker

BananaHands said:
You haven't POOPED until you've had to use one of these babies at a music festival:

Or pooped in one that was filled up, at a music festival.

May 9, 2013#51

Charlie Don't Surf

I'm going to a music festival at the end of this month

May 9, 2013#52

sixpackshaker

Eat some muffins on the way there.

May 9, 2013#53

BananaHands

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I'm going to a music festival at the end of this month

Which one????

sixpackshaker said:
Eat some muffins on the way there.

Yes. This. Think 'bear before hibernation'.

May 9, 2013#54

BErt

*takes out notebook

never...go...to...music festivals.

*closes notebook

Thanks guys!

May 9, 2013#55

Charlie Don't Surf

Free Press Summer Fest in Houston. This thread will be updated when I get sunburnt everywhere and die of heat stroke / accidentally taking all the drugs / dancing too hard to Postal Service / clipped by Macklemore's bodyguards when I try to stop him from making music

May 9, 2013#56

Chad Sexington

Charlie Don't Surf said:
Free Press Summer Fest in Houston. This thread will be updated when I get sunburnt everywhere and die of heat stroke / accidentally taking all the drugs / dancing too hard to Postal Service / clipped by Macklemore's bodyguards when I try to stop him from making music

Please hydrate. Heat exhaustion is terrible; it will also be terrible for friends/EMTs who have to help you.

May 9, 2013#57

Charlie Don't Surf

Chad Sexington said:
Please hydrate. Heat exhaustion is terrible; it will also be terrible for friends/EMTs who have to help you.

I will, they let you bring an empty thing to fill up with free water and also I don't want to die

May 9, 2013#58

sixpackshaker

It should be illegal to SELL water at major events/festivals in Houston. The should give that shit away. I hate seeing people sick because they can't afford a $4 bottle of tap water.

May 9, 2013#59

BananaHands

Charlie Don't Surf said:
I will, they let you bring an empty thing to fill up with free water and also I don't want to die

I'd suggest getting a camel pack from any store like Dick's Sporting Goods or Outdoor World. That thing is a life-saver.

May 9, 2013#60

Chad Sexington

sixpackshaker said:
It should be illegal to SELL water at major events/festivals in Houston. The should give that shit away. I hate seeing people sick because they can't afford a $4 bottle of tap water.

It's insane that they charge money and have no free supply somewhere.

And people sometimes don't seem to realise how risky it is. After doing a few medical standbys when I was training to be an EMT and seeing people dehydrate just from alcohol in an air-conditioned building, I couldn't believe how many people get sloshed on a hot day and then piss/vomit out every drop of fluid in their bodies. Pace yourself, people, and for the love of god, drink water.

It's like watching them dessicate at high speed.

May 9, 2013#61

Bowielee

It won't be much longer before you have to pay for ALL water.

May 9, 2013#62

Chad Sexington

Bowielee said:
It won't be much longer before you have to pay for ALL water.

Don't have the energy to make a Bear Grylls "Pay for water? Better drink my own pee." meme

May 9, 2013#63

Shakey

BananaHands said:
You haven't POOPED until you've had to use one of these babies at a music festival:

I have to say, the worst port-a-pottie experience for me came from the eel pout festival, not a music festival. It's basically an excuse for northern minnesotans to come out of hibernation and drink massive amounts of alcohol on a frozen lake. There was shit and puke all over every single one of these. People were even crapping and puking in the little urinal thing they have in them now. I have a pretty strong stomach, but I even recoiled at the site of them.

May 9, 2013#64

Ravenpoe

BananaHands said:
You haven't POOPED until you've had to use one of these babies at a music festival:

I can't stand public restrooms. I use them only out of severe need, and never to poop. I can't even stand to be inside the high end ones that are actually kept clean.

Needless to say, port-a-potties are my nightmare.

May 9, 2013#65

Bowielee

Ravenpoe said:
I can't stand public restrooms. I use them only out of severe need, and never to poop. I can't even stand to be inside the high end ones that are actually kept clean.

Needless to say, port-a-potties are my nightmare.

May 10, 2013#66

Emrys

Officer_Charon said:
On the contrary... now I have the munchies

May 10, 2013#67

PatrThom

PatrThom said:
I think the statistics say that 1 out of every 5 Americans [bites their toenails]

Chad Sexington said:
WHAT THE FLYING FUCK

Ergo, one out of every 5 women you have ever kissed...

--Patrick

May 10, 2013#68

Tress

PatrThom said:
Ergo, one out of every 5 women you have ever kissed...

--Patrick

May 10, 2013#69

fade

Ravenpoe said:
I stand, turn and face the toilet. Once finished, I put my hands on my hips, tilt my head back, and bellow a triumphant victory laugh.

All without pants, because I take my pants completely off. I don't like to feel restrained.

"Leeeet's do the Time Wipe agaaaaain!"

May 10, 2013#70

Bubble181

Re: water at festivals. If you can't afford a $4 bottle of water, every festival is supposed to have a red cross (or similar, EMT) tent/hut/location. Those always* hand out free water if needed.

*In Belgium, Germany, France, the Netherlands and the UK. Never been to a US festival, but if they don't and you get heat stroke or start dehydrating - sue the organisation! Whoo!

May 10, 2013#71

evilmike

PatrThom said:
Ergo, one out of every 5 women you have ever kissed...

--Patrick

Tress said:

If you think that's bad, wait until you run the numbers on other activities.

May 11, 2013#72

Charlie Don't Surf

what sort of CRAZY cassanovas here have kissed 5 women? heh, heh heh. *pulls out collar on shirt nervously*

May 11, 2013#73

PatrThom

Charlie Don't Surf said:
what sort of CRAZY cassanovas here have kissed 5 women? heh, heh heh. *pulls out collar on shirt nervously*

--Patrick

May 11, 2013#74

BananaHands

Bubble181 said:
Re: water at festivals. If you can't afford a $4 bottle of water, every festival is supposed to have a red cross (or similar, EMT) tent/hut/location. Those always* hand out free water if needed.

*In Belgium, Germany, France, the Netherlands and the UK. Never been to a US festival, but if they don't and you get heat stroke or start dehydrating - sue the organisation! Whoo!

They typically have water stands here at US festivals. It tastes a bit like egg, but all free!

May 14, 2013#75

Gusto

I have kissed exactly 5 girls.

May 14, 2013#76

Dave

And you liked it.

May 14, 2013#77

Gusto

I liked kissing 2 of them, yes.

The others ranged from lukewarm to EXTREMELY AWKWARD

May 14, 2013#78

BananaHands

ew you guys kiss girls gross they have cooties

May 14, 2013#79

GasBandit

BananaHands said:
ew you guys kiss girls gross they have cootchies

FTFY

May 14, 2013#80

figmentPez

Gusto said:
I liked kissing 2 of them, yes.

The others ranged from lukewarm to EXTREMELY AWKWARD

Was the extremely awkward one the toenail biter? Did the kiss taste like bad cheese?

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