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Next Rapture is....

Oct 18, 2011#1

Jay

.... this Friday.

It was nice knowing y'all.

Yeah so.....I have survived the last six ones... any bets we'll survive the next one? Who the hell comes up with this anyways?

Oct 18, 2011#2

phil

Dude I'm totally not ready to become a road warrior by Saturday. I don't even have mismatched armor consisting of tires and football gear yet!

Whoever prophasised this really dropped the ball in marketing. It's called twitter, nut-jobs. Look it up.

Oct 18, 2011#3

Shegokigo

Blizzcon is the Rapture!

Oct 18, 2011#4

BananaHands

I hope it's zombies or something exciting. Four horsemen riding across the world is going to take FOREVER.

Oct 18, 2011#5

Tress

It's the same old nutball as last time. Not the least bit worried.

Oct 19, 2011#6

Jay

They could at least wait till end of November for this Rapture thing... it's inconvenient and all... since I really want to play Skyrim on Nov 11.

Oct 19, 2011#7

@Li3n

Man, i was hoping this to be about Bioshock...

Oct 19, 2011#8

DarkAudit

C'mon, man! At least let it wait for me to get my iPhone delivered! I already paid for it.

Oct 19, 2011#9

Dave

If the rapture happens before Skyrim, I will convert, ask to be forgiven all my sins, go to heaven and punch Jesus in the throat!!

Oct 19, 2011#10

Chibibar

well crap. On my birthday too.. what a present.

Oct 19, 2011#11

ThatNickGuy

So when's the next Rapture?

It's FRIDAY! Friday! Gotta get judged on Friday! Friday!

Oct 19, 2011#12

Silver Jelly

Dave said:
If the rapture happens before Skyrim, I will convert, ask to be forgiven all my sins, go to heaven and punch Jesus in the throat!!

THROUGH HIS HANDS

Oct 19, 2011#13

BananaHands

"What the fuck do you mean Heaven only has a GameCube!? I want to play fuckin' Skyrim'!"

Oct 19, 2011#14

Dave

Now that would make everyone sit up and take notice! The rapture doesn't just take people - it also takes cats, dogs, gaming consoles and bacon.

Oct 19, 2011#15

Shegokigo

Heaven/Hell/Afterlife/Religion

el oh el

Oct 19, 2011#16

phil

BananaHands said:
"What the fuck do you mean Heaven only has a GameCube!? I want to play fuckin' Skyrim'!"

Somebody get me the ghost of Rod Sterling. I have an idea for a twilight zone.

Oct 19, 2011#17

fade

It isn't fair! *quack quack quack* There was time now! *quack quack quack*

Oct 19, 2011#18

Jay

ThatNickGuy said:
So when's the next Rapture?

It's FRIDAY! Friday! Gotta get judged on Friday! Friday!

ffs, lmao... die in a fire!

Oct 19, 2011#19

GasBandit

Even if you buy into all this religious stuff.. the very book in question here explicitly says "you won't be able to tell when the rapture comes." So maybe god is changing the date just to spite the prognosticators... wait.. does that mean... that these perceived charlatans would be.... saving the world by trolling god?

Oct 19, 2011#20

Gusto

GasBandit said:
Even if you buy into all this religious stuff.. the very book in question here explicitly says "you won't be able to tell when the rapture comes." So maybe god is changing the date just to spite the prognosticators... wait.. does that mean... that these perceived charlatans would be.... saving the world by trolling god?

u mad, lord?

Oct 19, 2011#21

ThatNickGuy

My Catholic background says I'm going to Hell for this, but I can't help it:

Oct 19, 2011#22

fade

Your Catholic background said you were going to Hell for masturbating. So let's face it. You're fucked.

Oct 19, 2011#23

ThatNickGuy

I also had pre-marital sex several times. And have no problem with homosexuals. So yeah, I'm gonna burn.

Oct 19, 2011#24

Cheesy1

ThatNickGuy said:
I also had pre-marital sex several times. And have no problem with homosexuals. So yeah, I'm gonna burn.

Yeah, but you gave the universe the story of your prom night, so I think God will give you a pass based just on that!

Oct 20, 2011#25

Silver Jelly

Wait, Catholics don't believe in rapture!

Oct 20, 2011#26

@Li3n

Dave said:
If the rapture happens before Skyrim, I will convert, ask to be forgiven all my sins, go to heaven and punch Jesus in the throat!!

Ok, i'm not supposed to say anything, but... the release of Skyrim is the Rapture...

ThatNickGuy said:
I also had pre-marital sex several times. And have no problem with homosexuals. So yeah, I'm gonna burn.

Well you can always go confess and then buy an indulgence...

Oct 20, 2011#27

Chibibar

GasBandit said:
Even if you buy into all this religious stuff.. the very book in question here explicitly says "you won't be able to tell when the rapture comes." So maybe god is changing the date just to spite the prognosticators... wait.. does that mean... that these perceived charlatans would be.... saving the world by trolling god?

LOL. That would be interesting.

What if God goes "Do you love this gay person?" "no" "well, too bad, you are being left behind!"
muhahahahahhahaa

Oct 20, 2011#28

ThatNickGuy

Silver Jelly said:
Wait, Catholics don't believe in rapture!

We don't? Hot digity damn, never mind, then!

Oct 20, 2011#29

sixpackshaker

ThatNickGuy said:
My Catholic background says I'm going to Hell for this, but I can't help it:

**snip

It's OK, Catholics don't believe in the rapture either. They just believe in the final judgement.

SilverJelly's a ninja.

Oct 20, 2011#30

Silver Jelly

A catholic ninja spy!

Oct 20, 2011#31

fade

so you're that albino priest in the DaVinci Code?

Oct 20, 2011#32

Silver Jelly

Yes! I also was a decoy albino gorilla at the Zoo de Barcelona for the brief period of time during wich the real one was killing nazis in Brazil.

Oct 20, 2011#33

@Li3n

ThatNickGuy said:
We don't? Hot digity damn, never mind, then!

And me here thinking it was just the protestants that had little idea what their religion actually says...

Oct 20, 2011#34

SpecialKO

Dave said:
If the rapture happens before Skyrim, I will convert, ask to be forgiven all my sins, go to heaven and punch Jesus in the throat!!

It's okay, Jesus is a gamer, you're safe.

Oct 20, 2011#35

Thread Necromancer

Rapture already occurred. There were so few who were taken that they weren't even missed. The rest of us are still sitting here speculating and waiting for hell. In short, you missed it folks, get on the bus, we're all going to hell.

Oct 20, 2011#36

Tiq

Guys... I was just sitting here using the laptop, and all of a sudden I started floating towards the clouds... whats the deal?

Answers A.S.A.P please... airs getting pretty thing up here.

Oct 20, 2011#37

Shegokigo

You're being abducted by aliens.

Answer? Clench your cheeks really hard.

Oct 20, 2011#38

SpecialKO

If dying of asphyxiation is required to get Raptured into Heaven, that's a bit effed up.

Oct 20, 2011#39

Tiq

Shegokigo said:
You're being abducted by aliens.

Answer? Clench your cheeks really hard.

Thats cool... I've got buns o' steel.

Oct 21, 2011#40

@Li3n

Shegokigo said:
You're being abducted by aliens.

Answer? Clench your cheeks really hard.

Damn, that was today... i knew i shouldn't have put my phone on silent...

Oct 21, 2011#41

Silver Jelly

oh! Does christian rap exist? Because they could do the Rapture Rap Tour!

>_>
<_<

Oct 21, 2011#42

Chibibar

Thread Necromancer said:
Rapture already occurred. There were so few who were taken that they weren't even missed. The rest of us are still sitting here speculating and waiting for hell. In short, you missed it folks, get on the bus, we're all going to hell.

Ah well.

Oct 21, 2011#43

Dave

Does this mean I get to stay with the sinners and play Skyrim?

Oct 21, 2011#44

ThatNickGuy

Dave said:
Does this mean I get to stay with the sinners and play Skyrim?

Fraid not. Skyrim is good. Therefore, it got taken, too.

Oct 21, 2011#45

Chad Sexington

Hahaha, Nick, that was excellent. :thumbsup:

Oct 21, 2011#46

GasBandit

Thread Necromancer said:
Rapture already occurred. There were so few who were taken that they weren't even missed. The rest of us are still sitting here speculating and waiting for hell. In short, you missed it folks, get on the bus, we're all going to hell.

The langoliers should show up any time now to devour everything.

Oct 21, 2011#47

Fun Size

GasBandit said:
The langoliers should show up any time now to devour everything.

You're thinking of the Christina Aguilara thread.

Oct 21, 2011#48

@Li3n

Fun Size said:
You're thinking of the Christina Aguilara thread.

Too bad she already ate the langoliers...

Oct 21, 2011#49

Tress

@Li3n said:
Too bad she already ate the langoliers...

That was... he already made a good joke... and you just...

*sigh*

Oct 21, 2011#50

BananaHands

@Li3n said:
Too bad she already ate the langoliers...

Because she's FAT.

Oct 21, 2011#51

Necronic

ThatNickGuy said:
Fraid not. Skyrim is good. Therefore, it got taken, too.

We sinners will all be forced to play Daikatana and unpatched Daggerfall for eternity.

Oct 22, 2011#52

@Li3n

Tress said:
That was... he already made a good joke... and you just...

*sigh*

In my own defence, it was 3 am here...

I totally should have said: "So that's how she got so fat... poor langoliers!"

Oct 22, 2011#53

Cajungal

Silver Jelly said:
oh! Does christian rap exist? Because they could do the Rapture Rap Tour!

>_>
<_<

Indeed.

Oct 22, 2011#54

figmentPez

Cajungal said:
Indeed.

There are good Christian rappers as well. My favorite is John Reuben:

Oct 23, 2011#55

strawman

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we at Family Radio have been directed to not talk to the media or the press,” Harold Camping’s daughter Susan Espinoza told the Associated Press Friday.

Heh heh heh.

Oct 23, 2011#56

fade

I'm feeling FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.

Oct 24, 2011#57