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"No, dude, he's a Hindu! They're like Jews, bro!"

Anyone got any good ones?

Over heard in a gas station A girl was talking on her cell phone and seemed quite pissed.

"Missus. Let me tell ya a question. Yer a bitch."

My head exploded.

A woman in the hospital waiting room had the Papa Roach CLASSIC Last Resort as her notification ringtone. I heard CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES about 4000 times.

I hate that song with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. I know there are things I mention disliking on here, but that song I truly despise. The "cut my life into pieces" part reminds me of a depressed Scooby Doo trying to do alt rock. If you don't believe me, try it. Sing it in a depressed scooby voice

fade said:

I hate that song with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. I know there are things I mention disliking on here, but that song I truly despise. The "cut my life into pieces" part reminds me of a depressed Scooby Doo trying to do alt rock. If you don't believe me, try it. Sing it in a depressed scooby voice

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Rut ry rife inroo reeces, riss is ry rast rerort...

Overheard at my last job (and not jokingly):

*Guy 1* "What state starts with O-N?"
*Guy 2* "ONTARIO!"
*Guy 1* "Ontario is not a state!"
*Guy 2* "Yeah it is! It's up north!"
*Guy 1* "No, it's a part of Canada"
*Guy 2* "Canada isn't a state either!"
*Guy 1* "Oh yeah..."

fade said:

I hate that song with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. I know there are things I mention disliking on here, but that song I truly despise. The "cut my life into pieces" part reminds me of a depressed Scooby Doo trying to do alt rock. If you don't believe me, try it. Sing it in a depressed scooby voice

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I was honestly considering shooting her.

Frankie Williamson said:

I was honestly considering shooting her.

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There are times when having a sidearm is more of a hindrance than a help. This would be one of them.

Alternative solution:

General Specific said:

Overheard at my last job (and not jokingly):

*Guy 1* "What state starts with O-N?"
*Guy 2* "ONTARIO!"
*Guy 1* "Ontario is not a state!"
*Guy 2* "Yeah it is! It's up north!"
*Guy 1* "No, it's a part of Canada"
*Guy 2* "Canada isn't a state either!"
*Guy 1* "Oh yeah..."

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That is wrong on so many levels.

Simplest solution: Annex Canada.

As long as we don't annex Quebec, I'm for it.

On the bus going away from the university, two young women complain about the nerdy guy in their class. Once such complaint: "He, like, says stuff when he talks."

And please, take Ontario and Quebec.

We'll take Ontario.

And if you pay the US several trillion dollars, we'll think about maybe taking Quebec.

They come as a pair.

How about we annex the rest of Canada and leave Ontario and Quebec where they are?

Heard by a female student talknig to her friend as I was walking into a class building: "Yeah, she wears the blood of her enemies in her hair."

You don't want Alberta, it would tilt the delicate balance of dem/rep power.

Dang.

Eh, fuck it. I only wanted Gusto anyway.

Allen who is Quiet said:

Dang.

Eh, fuck it. I only wanted Gusto anyway.

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Don't we all... Don't we all...

"Yeah, you haven't eaten any pineapples in a while. I can tell since your cum isn't sweet."

Dirona said:

On the bus going away from the university, two young women complain about the nerdy guy in their class. Once such complaint: "He, like, says stuff when he talks."

And please, take Ontario and Quebec.

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Hey, a lot of people don't say anything when they talk.

Jay said:

"Yeah, you haven't eaten any pineapples in a while. I can tell since your cum isn't sweet."

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That reminds me of a story my bio teach used to tell back in high school. He was going over anatomy/sex ed and explained that the majority of semen involves sugars. Supposedly one girl blurted out "Well then why is it so sour?" before realizing her mistake and turning a bright shade of red.

Heard at the bus stop a few years ago:

"Yeah, athletes always train up in the mountains because it's so hot because it's closer to the sun"

Not during commute, but still kinda funny: my mom while we were watching Conan, with Justin Timberlake as guest (I know, we get the shows at a delay).

"Is this Justin Timberlake somebody famous?"

And, when he actually appeared on-screen:

"Oh, he's a man! I thought he was a woman!"

Mom, I love you, but you don't know jack shit about modern popular culture.

Two days I heard this gem on the street:

"My mom went to France while she was over in Europe. Some little town or something, I can't remember. I think it was called... Paris, or something like that?"

(To be fair, it was a younger teenager talking. Not an excuse, I suppose, but not as bad as if it were an adult.)

Oh, I've got a sad one.

An elementary classroom in Port Allen. A teacher fussing at a student. "STOP THAT! WHAT I SAY YOU TO DONE?!" A teacher.

What is she trying to communicate?

"What did I tell you to do?"

...oh....oh GOD.

LittleSin said:

What is she trying to communicate?

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"Please, cease and desist your current undertaking. As an exercise in personal correction I would now ask that you repeat my previous instructions as to your proper behavior, post-haste."

Yep, "what did I tell you to do?" It was pretty bad. I'm pretty sure she was one of the special ed teachers, too. Good luck, children. *holds back tears*

"Do you want me to say?"

Cajungal said:

Oh, I've got a sad one.

An elementary classroom in Port Allen. A teacher fussing at a student. "STOP THAT! WHAT I SAY YOU TO DONE?!" A teacher.

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That sounds like proper Cajun to me...

Huh, actually yeah. I just said it out loud in a thick, Cajun accent and it oddly worked. It's still horrible grammar.

fade said:

That sounds like proper Cajun to me...

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It was more ghetto-y than Cajun.

Ah... one of those "educatin' 'da chirrins," moments? *headshake*

Yeah... sad. It's kinda how 90% of the people in that area talk, though. So as long as they never leave that 5 or so stinky miles just outsides of Baton Rouge, they'll be fine.

...Jesus. I really still have hard feelings about Baton Rouge and the surrounding area. Sorry about that. :-/ That was a startling amount of bitterness.

Cajungal said:

...Jesus. I really still have hard feelings about Baton Rouge and the surrounding area. Sorry about that. :-/ That was a startling amount of bitterness.

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Don't be sorry. It lets us know you're like us.

Cajungal said:

Yeah... sad. It's kinda how 90% of the people in that area talk, though. So as long as they never leave that 5 or so stinky miles just outsides of Baton Rouge, they'll be fine.

...Jesus. I really still have hard feelings about Baton Rouge and the surrounding area. Sorry about that. :-/ That was a startling amount of bitterness.

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http://www.batonrougerestaurants.com/

???

What am I missing?

Apparently Quebec doesn't have the ghetto

Ok, how about... they sound like the average Jerry Springer guest.

It's not a matter of WHETHER or not they're ignorant, but more that they SOUND like they're illiterate and just don't care about it.

And, sadly enough, I had someone explain it to me as "not wanting to sound like an Uncle Tom N-----," which just totally made my day, let me tell you. *facepalm*

I went to what equates to a community college. I should have started writing them down. But my favorite, from an office admin student:

Girl: "Y'know, like, I only found out, like, last week that 911 works here."
My buddy: "What?"
Girl: "911. Emergency."
Buddy: "...What?"
Girl: "I thought it was only, like, a thing in the States or something. I didn't know it worked in Canada too. Like, we're not calling the States are we?"
Buddy: ".........what?"
Me: *facepalm*

Wow. Her parents did a great job.
Incidentally, I pocket dialed 911 the other day while I was at the zoo. Not even joking. And when I told the lady it was a mistake and it must have been a pocket dial and I was very sorry for wasting their time, some children happened to run by screaming.

well to be fair...I didn't know 911 worked in Canada either. but then again I don't live there. Also in school primary school down under we have a big thing about movies always saying ring 911, and how we have to remember our own emergency number instead.

I've always wondered WHY they haven't changed it to 911 everywhere... I mean, it's in movies everywhere. It's not going away and America certainly isn't going to change it, so why fight it?

Besides, most countries redirect calls to 911 to their actual emergency number.

because america isn't always right, and the world might not want to follow?
Trolling aside, It is an interesting question. I wonder why those numbers were chosen in the first place anyway....TO GOOGLE!!

gargoyle_eva said:

because america isn't always right, and the world might not want to follow?
Trolling aside, It is an interesting question. I wonder why those numbers were chosen in the first place anyway....TO GOOGLE!!

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It sure beats Britain's 0118 999 881 999 119 725... 3.