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Rabbit didn't have much to do today, so he decided to go for a bit of a walk. He put on his shoes, walked into the forest, and continued walking for a good long while. A quarter of an hour later, he ran into another rabbit.
"Hey, hello there", he said, "What's your name? I'm Rabbit."
The other rabbit answered: "Oh, hello there. I'm Rabbit Rabbit. I didnt have much to do today, so I decided to go for a walk in the forest."
"Neat!" answered Rabbit. "I'm doing the same thing! How about we walk along together?"
Rabbit Rabbit thought for a second, then said "OK! let's go, Rabbit!".
So, they set off together, and walked along the forest trails. About 15 minutes later, they ran across another rabbit.
"Hey, hi! How are you doing?" said Rabbit. "We're Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit. We both had nothing much to do today, so we decided to go for a walk in the forest".
"Oh! How nice!", the other rabbit replied. "My name is Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. I had nothing better to do today, so I decided to go for a walk in the forest!"
"Well, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, how about you join us two, Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit, and go along with us on a walk through the forest?"
"Sure Rabbit!" said Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "That's a great plan!"
So, Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit left together, and continued to walk along in the forest.
After walking together for a quarter of an hour, they happened upon another rabbit.
"Hello", said Rabbit, "Let me introduce myself and my friends here. I'm Rabbit, this is Rabbit Rabbit, and that's Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. What are you called?"
The other rabbit replied, "Why, my name is Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. Nice to meet you, Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit!"
"Why, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, what are you doing here?", Rabbit Rabbit asked. "Oh, I'm just walking along the forest today. I didn't have much else to do." "Gosh", came Rabbit's response, "so are we! What do you say, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, do you want to join us and walk along together?"
"Absolutely!" Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit cried out, and joined them. Together, Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit walked on through the forest.
They hadn't gone for much more than 15 minutes when, all of a sudden, they arrived at a clearing. On the other side, they saw a rabbit.
"Howdy!", Rabbit shouted, "How are you doing? We are Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, we're four rabbits who had nothing to do and so we decided to walk along in the foret together. Who are you?" The other rabbit came closer, looked at them, and answered: "What a coincidence! My name is Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. I didn't have much to do today, so I decided to go walking in the forest"
"You don't say!" Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit said. "How about joining us? We can all walk through the forest together!". "A good plan, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! I think I'll join you!" Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit said, and he walked out of the clearing together with Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.
The five of them happily walked off together. To their surprise, a quarter-hour later, they saw a rabbit sitting along the side of the path. Rabbit went up to him, and asked "Hello there, unknown rabbit. My name is Rabbit, this rabbit here is Rabbit Rabbit. That one's Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, and the one on the end is Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. Over there's Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. What's your name?"
the other rabbit looked up, thought for a second, then answered "ah, nice to meet all of you! My name's Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.".
"Well met, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! What are you doing in the forest?", came the question from Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.
"Ah, well now, I had nothing better to do today, so I decided a nice walk in the forest would be a good plan", Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit replied. "Walk with us!" came the immediate reply from Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "I'm sure my buddies won't mind!".
"Alright, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, I'll join you!", exclaimed Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.
Happily and in good company, they all set off together: Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.
The group was walking along the path in the forest, when all of a sudden they found a rabbit sitting along the side of the road. Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit looked at each other, then at the other rabbit, and started talking at the same time: "Hello, rabbit! We are Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. What should we call you?" The other rabbit looked up and smiled: "hello there, Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. My name is Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit."
"Well met, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, what are you doing in this forest?", asked Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.
"Ah," Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit sighed, "I had nothing much to do today, so I decided to go for a walk in the forest.".
"What luck!" cried Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "We're just walking along, too! let's all walk together!"
After a moment's thought, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit decided: "very well, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, I'll join you guys!"
So there went Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, along with Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit.
The group had been walking for roughly a quarter of an hour, when they came to a small stream.
"Nuts!" Rabbit exclaimed, "There's no bridge or shallow in sight! Whatever shall we do?"
"Well, Rabbit, I don't know", said Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "Perhaps we can jump? but I'm not sure I can make it!"
"Ah, come on" replied Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "I'm sure we'll be able to cross.". Having said that, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit walked back a bit, took a run-up, jumped......And landed about mid-stream,sank, and drowned.
Obviously, Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit were all distrought and saddened. "Poor Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, we barely knew him!" sobbed Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit.
After a mourning period of a quarter of an hour, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit looked around and said: "Dear friends, I think that Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit was right. We'll need to cross". "No!" cried out Rabbit, "Don't do it!" but Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit was already taking a run-up - a bit longer than Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit had taken - ran, jumped, flew through the air...And landed just a bit further in the stream than Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, but still well short of the other side. Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit sank, and drowned.
"Noooo" wept Rabbit Rabbit, "Not Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! What a shame!"
Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit gathered close together, and cried for a good 15 minutes.
"Fellows," said Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit at the end of it, "I now know what went wrong. I shall jump, and I shall cross, and I will help you all from the other side of the stream.".
Having said that, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit jogged back a few meters, ran towards the stream, jumped - he was crossing the air like an eagle... But in the end, he landed in the water, just a little bit further than Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. He struggled, he sunk, he drowned.
"Alas, poor Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit" came the cry from Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "he was still in his prime!"
Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit all cried and hugged each other. After fifteen minutes, having dried their tears, they looked at each other. "My friends, I know what I must do," sighed Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit. "I'm better prepared, and I know now the dangers. Watch, as I will try, in memory of Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, to cross the stream in one big jump."
A long run-up, he soared and soared.... but no, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit landed in the stream, sank, and drowned.
Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit looked at each other, fell into each others' arms, and cried for a full 15 minutes.
"Rabbit," said Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, "Rabbit Rabbit, I feel we have now mourned long enough. With what we've been shown, I'm convinced that we can do what Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit failed to do. I will now jump, and I will succeed." After those words, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit backed away, stretched for a bit, said a quick prayer, ran up to the stream, and made a mighty leap. The wind blowing past his ears, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit still fell sadly short, just barely grzing the opposite bank, but ending up in the stream, sinking and drowning.
Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit hugged and cried, wailed, beat their chests, for an appropriate duration - a quarter of an hour or thereabouts - and turned to each other. "Rabbit," said Rabbit Rabbit, we've known each other the longest. You know how I feel, you know what I must do. For Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, I feel I must now make the jump. With God's will, I'll make it across." Rabbit looked at Rabbit Rabbit, hugged him, and wished him well.
Rabbit Rabbit took the longest run-up yet, flexed and stretched, focussed, ran, ran, ran and his jump was an impressive one to see - he flew across the stream, he could feel the other bank, he was nearly there....But alas, Rabbit Rabbit, though brushing the tips of a few blades of grass, still fell short, sank, and drowned.
Rabbit felt all alone, and he cried, and mourned, and sighed. After 15 minutes had passed, he stood up.
"Well," said Rabbit, "I know what I must do. There's nothing for it. Dear Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit - this is for all of you. If I survive, I will not forget you. If I should fall, we will all be reunited."
Having said that, he made his peace, stepped back, ran up to the stream, and jumped....and flew...and flew....he could see the stream passing by below him, he could see the waves, but he was still high and going strong...he kept on moving through the air like a thrown spear...and when he landed, just barely, on the other side of the stream, he sighed, a happy Rabbit again, and walked off.
Now, why, do I ask you, did Rabbit succeed, where Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit, Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit and Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit fail?

Guy goes bear hunting. He gets to a clearing and sees this bear so he aims and fires. He runs to the body but it's not there. Suddenly there's a tapping on his shoulder and he turns to see the bear...who proceeds to throw the guy down and fuck the shit out of him.

Bruised and bloody, the hunter crawls home and decides that he's going to get revenge on that bear. So he buys a bigger rifle & goes back. Same clearing. Same bear. He lines up his shot and *BLAM!*. He runs to the body but it's not there. Suddenly he feels a tapping on his shoulder. With tears in his eyes he turns to see the bear...who proceeds to throw him to the ground and fuck the shit out of him.

Torn, embarrassed and ashamed, the hunter crawls back home, but his rage knows no bounds. He buys a god damned elephant gun and vows that bear is going to die.

So the next day he goes to the clearing. There's the bear. He lines up his shot and *BLAM!!* He runs to the body but again, it's gone. His stomach falls as he feels the tap on his shoulder, but he doesn't turn. There's silence for a bit and then the bear says, "You're not here to hunt, are you?"

So this guy Bob has a friend called Rick. Rick lives the life. Big house, sweet car, lovely wife. Rick also throws the best kinds of parties. About once every three months or so, he throws an amazing party where everybody is invited, the booze flows like water, and things happen that keep it the talk of the town until the next party rolls around.

So on one of these nights, Bob joins the party. He's a bit late, 'coz he couldn't find his favorite tie, and you gotta dress up fine when you come to one of Rick's parties. Anyway, he gets there, and the party is in full swing. Bob grabs a drink, and goes to mingle. He says hi to Cheryl from work, and Vinnie, the barman at his other favorite hangout, and Sally the neighbor comes up for a bit because she really needs a babysitter for next week and gosh, the kids just love hanging out with Bob so much 'coz he's such a sweet fella.

As he's mingling, and having a good time, his eyes glaze over the crowd, and he spots an ostrich. Not just any ostrich, an ostrich sporting a big red tie and a beer-hat. Bob doesn't believe what he's seeing. Rick throws some wild parties, sure, but he's never had a wild animal over the floor. So he nudges Sally and is like "are you seeing what I'm seeing? Is that an actual ostrich?"

And Sally goes "oh, yeah! Dunno where Rick managed to get him from but he's a total riot! Really, you should hang out with him for a bit, it'll be great!" But as Bob looks over again, the ostrich has disappeared to another room. In Rick's house, these things come and go, so Bob figures he has better things to do than hunt down a damn ostrich at a party and goes to get another drink.

The night goes on, and Bob's outside a few hours later snacking on some pizza with Dennis, Rick's assistant. They always get pizza at parties like these, and other food as well, but Bob's favorite is the double pepperoni, 'coz it's exactly the salty, greasy bomb his gut needs after a bunch of cocktails. And as they're shooting the shit, Bob spots that damn ostrich again, through the window at the salon. So he asks Dennis about the ostrich, and Dennis is like "Man, you have no idea. Rick wanted to liven things up, you know? But the zoo wouldn't rent any animals out, obviously, so he got me to track down this weird ostrich farmer out in the sticks to buy the damn thing, but for whatever reason every body loves him! I don't get it, man. It's just an ostrich, how fun can it be? But everybody swears they have a great time with him." Of course, by the time Bob looks over again, the mass of partygoers in the salon has shifted.

It's near the end of the night - 4am? 5am? Who knows. Time blurs together at evenings like these. Bob's half-asleep on the couch, nursing a beer, with Rick. People are still around, the music is still playing, but Bob is getting a bit sleepy as the years go on, and he can't pull it all night going all-out like he used to. Anyway, who else happens to walk into the room but the ostrich. Bob looks over to Ostrich, and then to Rick - who's passed out, at this point. Drugs may have been involved - Bob never touches the stuff, but you know. So, before the damn bird can get away again, Bob hoists himself unsteadily to his feet.

He stumbles on over to the ostrich, and points at him. "Y'know, ostrich, I don't get you," he says, "how come you're walking around with a tie and a beer-hat like you're a regular person, and everybody loves partying with you, when you're just a dumb bird?"

So the ostrich looks at him, slurps his beer hat, and opens his beak for a response.

But the ostrich says nothing, because ostriches can't talk.

Two housewives are talking and complaining about their husbands' drinking. One of them said, "My husband came home last night completely drunk! He needed three tries to unlock the front door, then he fell face-first into the foyer, and then he tried to fight the hallway mirror! He broke it and cut his hand, and then I had to drive him to the emergency room!"

And the second housewife said, "That's nothing, my husband came home so drunk last night, he blew chunks right there in the front yard!"

And the first housewife said, "Well, that doesn't sound as bad, at least he vomited outside the house, right?"

And the second housewife paused and said, "You don't understand, Chunks is our dog."