[Contest] Prove to me you're not literally Hitler (and upcoming game night)

[Ravenpoe]

I had a thread on this previously, but it went largely ignored because you guys suck. So let's try again.

I have a four pack of tabletop simulator to give away. What's so great about tabletop simulator? It's a great tool to play board or card games over the internet, I've used it to great effect to play D&D, but at the moment I've been using it to play Secret Hitler.

What is Secret Hitler? It's a great social deduction card game from the same makers of Cards Against Humanity. And I will be organizing a game night in the near future to get some Halforumites to play it with me.

If you are interested in joining, and want to snag yourself a copy of Tabletop simulator for free, then I just need you to explain to me why I should trust you, and convince me you are not secretly a fascist dictator. The four top answers will get a free copy on steam.

To anyone else that doesn't win and wants to join, you'll have to buy Tabletop Sim yourself for $20. I bet you wish you'd paid attention the last time I posted, when it was on sale!

 

[Bubble181]

It sounds like a cool game, and I would think TTS might be interesting for me. However, my time table is almost completely opposite that of most of this board, including, sadly, all other TT gamers. Giving me a copy would be a huge waste.

That said, my birth certificate clearly shows I was born in Germany; Hitler was not; ergo, I'm not Hitler.

 

[blotsfan]

I'm Jewish.

 

[Ravenpoe]

I'm Jewish.

Prove it. I'm gonna need to see your penis.

 

[Bubble181]

Prove it. I'm gonna need to see your penis.

Hitler had Jewish family. Don't believe him for a second. He's Hitler!

 

[HCGLNS]

I'm going to gas every last one of you. Burn your corpses and use your dust to flavour the cement for my new internment camp.

 

[Ravenpoe]

I'm going to gas every last one of you. Burn your corpses and use your dust to flavour the cement for my new internment camp.

Donald Trump's campaign took a weird turn.

 

[HCGLNS]

Donald Trump's campaign took a weird turn.

You're second.

 

[DarkAudit]

I couldn't find the Sudetenland, let alone annex it.

 

[blotsfan]

Prove it. I'm gonna need to see your penis.

How about this: I'm American. Hitler was decidedly not American. I can prove my Americanness with my knowledge of football.

 

[drifter]

No, no, we need to see your penis. For science, you know.

 

[phil]

I can't paint for shit.

When I worked at target I was once asked by a blonde woman to look for some product in the backroom. I looked, couldn't find it, and proceeded to tell some other blonde woman we were out because they all look alike to me.

When I visited Berlin I was freaked out by the automated voice in the trains because the only thing more stressful than the German language being yelled at you is the German language being extra calmly spoken to you.

I have a cleft on my upper lip right under my nose that doesn't grow hair.

I think Mel Brooks is hilarious.

 

[Bones]

Im a good catholic boy from Minnesota dontcha know. Im just almost hitler.

 

[Dei]

I'm a woman and therefore can't be Hitler.

 

[Dave]

I'm a woman and therefore can't be Hitler.

I'm going to need to see your penis.

 

[Dei]

I'm going to need to see your penis.

Let me just call my husband over...

 

[Ravenpoe]

Also, make sure to tell me which of you fuckers are willing to actually attempt to play a game. Spoilers: the prizes will probably go to them.

 

[Dei]

I'm around practically every night, so it is not a stretch to get me to play.

 

[phil]

I work until 7/8/9/ pm central most nights so i could play a bit late . I did mean to reply to the last thread about my interest in playing. I watched the video and everything!

Also that boat game gas posted about too but I think that happened already.

I'm very disorganized which I'm guessing Hitler was not.

 

[Bones]

Also, make sure to tell me which of you fuckers are willing to actually attempt to play a game. Spoilers: the prizes will probably go to them.

i figured thats how we showed interest in playing, but im in for some board game fun...

 

[Celt Z]

I admit it. I am Hitler.

Also, Spartacus.

 

[Cajungal]

My mustache is bushier than Hitler's.

 

[bhamv3]

I admit it. I am Hitler.

Also, Spartacus.

Ooh! I get to be Gannicus!

 

[Bubble181]

Donald Trump's campaign took a weird turn.

I dunno, sounds about par for the course.

 

[HCGLNS]

Put these patches on your clothes or pick only one child to live.

 

[PatrThom]

I'd probably play it once or twice, but I won't make y'all suffer around my schedule. It's pretty nuts.

--Patrick

 

[Dave]

I now have the Tabletop simulator. Looks great if I use it...

 

[Ravenpoe]

I now have the Tabletop simulator. Looks great if I use it...

I know, it's cool, right?

 

[General Specific]

I would try to tell you about how I am not Hitler, but then I don't have a steam account and don't really have a working computer to make it worthwhile to get.

 

[GasBandit]

Like Dei, I'm pretty much around most nights.

 

[MindDetective]

I would actually like to, but my schedule is tough and my microphone sucks. That said, Hitler might have had a busy schedule but he used much better microphones than me.

 

[Cajungal]

Hitler is hiding out in South America. Everyone knows my secret hideout is floating west of Acapulco.

 

[Tinwhistler]

I came into make the circumcision joke. Saw it was already made.

Have no problems posting pic of mini me to prove it.

Warning: Nested spoilers aren't working. Don't click if you don't wanna see dick. I'm not kidding this time.

Spoiler: nsfw seriously

Ok, that's not really my penis. It's the first thing that comes up when you GIS "hitler penis"

 

[BErt]

I spent a day or two watching videos of this on YouTube and I was laughing my ass off. I'd love to play, but only have an iPad at the moment. I can't wait for the physical release.

 

[BErt]

...did this for real never get played? i have a for really real computer with steam installed now and we should play this.