Search forums

Forums

Export thread

Quickie Advice - Asking out Online

Oct 18, 2011#1

ThatNickGuy

Over the weekend, at the TreeGo outing with the school's outdoor club, I kinda met a girl. I don't know if this is a case of reading too much into things, but I got some possible signs that she might be into me:

-We started chatting very early into the whole course. An early question she threw at me, though? "So, are you married?" That's kind of a dead giveaway hint right there, isn't it?

-She stayed in her same seat in the back of the van the whole way, but we made eye contact with each other quite a bit via the rearview mirror.

-Added her on Facebook shortly after. We've chatted a few times. Not very much, since we're both pretty busy. I joked that I didn't feel very manly, referring to my being terrified. She said "it's impossible do anything 'unmanly' so long as you're sporting a goatee."

Anyway, here's my question: there is almost little to no chance that I'm going to run into her in person any time in the near future. This weekend's outdoor group activity is all booked up and they don't have any other meetings or outings for a little while. She's also not in the same program as me, so no chance of seeing her in class.

With this in mind...do you think it'd be okay to ask someone out online? I'd even preface it with saying, "I hate asking this over the 'net, but..."

Oct 18, 2011#2

GasBandit

DO NOT PORTRAY WEAKNESS. Casual. Confident.

"Hey, wanna go get some coffee?" No squeamishness about "I know this is really lame but..." or "it's totally ok if you don't want to..." Just a simple question. Concise, unthreatening, without qualifiers.

Oct 18, 2011#3

Charlie Don't Surf

You could ask for her phone number via a message.

also it's a little early in the relationship to be trying to get a quickie

Oct 18, 2011#4

ThatNickGuy

She's already seen me nearly pissing my pants terrified. Weakness portrayal is pretty much out the window, already.

Oct 18, 2011#5

Dave

There's different kinds of weakness. But fear of social interaction will be noticed.

Take Gas' advice.

Oct 18, 2011#6

Tress

Gas is completely right. Just ask her out to something casual but nice (coffee, drinks, etc.). Don't worry about the medium, so long as the message gets through.

Oct 18, 2011#7

GasBandit

Besides, you're not doing anything to be scared of here. You're not asking her for sex. You're not asking her to marry you. You're not applying for a loan. You're asking her if she wants to get some coffee. That's all it is, that's all you need to convey.
Added at: 17:50

Tress said:
Gas is completely right.

I've half a mind to put that in my signature. :twisted:

Oct 18, 2011#8

Espy

What Gas is saying.

Oct 18, 2011#9

Cajungal

Agreed. Gas has it right. Good luck!

Oct 18, 2011#10

ThatNickGuy

Not even if I ask for some hot coffee?

But yeah, I'm just gonna man the fuck up and ask her out.

Oct 18, 2011#11

Biannoshufu

well this thread is titled "Quickie advice," so.....

Oct 18, 2011#12

Tress

GasBandit said:
I've half a mind to put that in my signature.

In this, as in all things, context is king.

Oct 18, 2011#13

Chibibar

Coffee is pretty safe

Oct 18, 2011#14

Espy

ThatNickGuy said:
But yeah, I'm just gonna man the fuck up and ask her out.

Just like that? But I haven't even had time to suggest you get therapy yet!

Oct 18, 2011#15

ThatNickGuy

Oh! Right! Hang on...

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, ESPY! You don't know me, all right!? My friends always, always, ALWAYS tell me that showing weakness is showing honesty! Why should I listen to you when I can listen to them!?

Oct 18, 2011#16

Espy

Pff, right, like the guy in the 10,000 dollar suit is gonna listen to the guy in the 100 dollar suit whine. COME ON!!!

Oct 18, 2011#17

Jay

Honestly, you have nothing to lose by asking her if she'd like to go out for coffee and chat.

Furthermore, please understand this and not pull a Norris with this thread going on needlessly for 11 pages.

Oct 18, 2011#18

strawman

ThatNickGuy said:
do you think it'd be okay to ask someone out online?

Yes, of course. You just can't break up online. If she accepts, then you offer your number. She will likely reciprocate, and further conversations can happen via phone if that's the method you prefer.

ThatNickGuy said:
I'd even preface it with saying, "I hate asking this over the 'net, but..."

rolls up newspaper

NO! BAD THATNICKGUY! BAD! BAD!

pauses to consider whether to bop you on the nose or rub your nose in the quote... decides to do neither

Just ask her out. "I want to go out with you. Are you free Thursday or Friday evening?" As Gas said, no need to be timid. You know what you want, and you're going to ask for it straightup.

Oct 18, 2011#19

bhamv3

And then, five minutes into coffee, whip it out.

Amidoinitright?

Oct 18, 2011#20

Tress

Well, it would definitely be a quickie date at that point.

Oct 18, 2011#21

BananaHands

bhamv3 said:
And then, five minutes into coffee, whip it out.

Amidoinitright?

You would have to preface this with "Enough of this cup o' joe, how bout a cup o' Nick?"
Added at: 05:14
I was also going to make a joke about 'cream', but...

Oct 19, 2011#22

Silver Jelly

Damn, bananahands, I wanted to do a joke about cream too.

My plan B joke was something about a "cup of Johnson", or something like that.

Oct 19, 2011#23

kaykordeath

Send her a message detailing your prom night.

Then tell her she could be next.

Then go get therapy.

Oct 19, 2011#24

fade

Is it wrong that my brain keeps substituting "eating" for "asking" in the title? That would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more interesting.

Oct 19, 2011#25

BananaHands

Honestly, you should just message her "Hey, we should hang".

Don't overthink it, don't overcomplicate it. It doesn't give any notion that you want it to be romantic or not romantic and it almost seems confident.

Oh, and it's one letter away from "Hey, we should bang."

Oct 19, 2011#26

LordRendar

BananaHands said:
Honestly, you should just message her "Hey, we should hang".

Don't overthink it, don't overcomplicate it. It doesn't give any notion that you want it to be romantic or not romantic and it almost seems confident.

Oh, and it's one letter away from "Hey, we should bang."

We'll if both of them like Erotic asphyxation "Hey,we should hang." is totaly viable.

Oct 19, 2011#27

Disconnected

GasBandit said:
DO NOT PORTRAY WEAKNESS. Casual. Confident.

"Hey, wanna go get some coffee?" No squeamishness about "I know this is really lame but..." or "it's totally ok if you don't want to..." Just a simple question. Concise, unthreatening, without qualifiers.

I will agree with this advice as well, and not just with dating. Don't give people an out because they will take it.

Oct 19, 2011#28

Chibibar

Disconnected said:
I will agree with this advice as well, and not just with dating. Don't give people an out because they will take it.

I agree. I use to do this A LOT when I was younger cause I lack confidence. Now I just either ask and see what happen. If it is a yes, then cool, if it is a no, I just move on.

Oct 19, 2011#29

ThatNickGuy

All right, so question has been asked to her. Hard to find a time when we're both online, so I just threw it out there. Probably not the wisest decision, but there it is.

Penny in the air...

Oct 19, 2011#30

strawman

DO YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE CHECK YES OR NO:

__YES
__NO

Oct 19, 2011#31

Chibibar

stienman said:
DO YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE CHECK YES OR NO:

_X_YES
__NO

but not that way

Oct 19, 2011#32

ThatNickGuy

That was Plan B.

I was going to write it on my penis.

Oct 19, 2011#33

strawman

So that's what everyone here means when they say, "I'd drop trou, then ask how about it?"

Oct 19, 2011#34

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
All right, so question has been asked to her. Hard to find a time when we're both online, so I just threw it out there. Probably not the wisest decision, but there it is.

Penny in the air...

As long as you didn't project any of that quoted insecurity, you've got an even shot. But don't get bent up if she says no. The thing about coin flips is sometimes they come up tails - it isn't an indictment of you as a person.

Oct 19, 2011#35

Tress

GasBandit said:
As long as you didn't project any of that quoted insecurity, you've got an even shot. But don't get bent up if she says no. The thing about coin flips is sometimes they come up tails - it isn't an indictment of you as a person.

I think GasBandit should have his own dating advice show. At the very least something on the radio.

Oct 19, 2011#36

GasBandit

Tress said:
I think GasBandit should have his own dating advice show. At the very least something on the radio.

No, the urge to revert to answering every question with "stick it in her pooper" would be too great.

Oct 19, 2011#37

sixpackshaker

GasBandit said:
No, the urge to revert to answering every question with "stick it in her pooper" would be too great.

I was looking to respond to the title in a very similar manner...

Oct 19, 2011#38

ThatNickGuy

GasBandit said:
As long as you didn't project any of that quoted insecurity, you've got an even shot. But don't get bent up if she says no. The thing about coin flips is sometimes they come up tails - it isn't an indictment of you as a person.

That's a boldfaced lie, damnit! Everyone knows that if a girl says no, there's something wrong with you!

Oct 19, 2011#39

strawman

Haha!

I don't need a girl's response to know something's wrong with me!

Oct 19, 2011#40

ThatNickGuy

Shit, this thread has made it to a second page.

OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?!

Oct 19, 2011#41

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
That's a boldfaced lie, damnit! Everyone knows that if a girl says no, there's something wrong with you!

Well, there IS something wrong with you. A lot of things. But none of that has any bearing on whether or not you get to marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten. Don't let it phase you. A lot of the guys who get tons of play are reprehensible excuses for human-shaped garbage. Most of the time, unfounded confidence is just as good as founded.

Oct 19, 2011#42

ThatNickGuy

You...do realize that I'm just doing a Norris impression, yes? See the tongue smiley? That means joking.

If she says no, I'll move on. Her loss, anyway.

Oct 19, 2011#43

Chad Sexington

ThatNickGuy said:
You...do realize that I'm just doing a Norris impression, yes? See the tongue smiley? That means joking.

If she says no, I'll move on. Her loss, anyway.

It was just such an uncanny impersonation, he couldn't take the risk. Un. Canny.

Oct 19, 2011#44

GasBandit

Besides, I can't very well have a thread where I'm helpful without, at the very least, a backhanded compliment or snide remark to undo the damage.

Oct 19, 2011#45

ThatNickGuy

She said yes, gave me her number and she's free this weekend.

Oct 19, 2011#46

Hailey Knight

And THEN the therapy!

Oct 19, 2011#47

ThatNickGuy

NO! Leave the therapy for people who need it, like vigilantes and people who let wild animals loose! I'll be a hero to all by not doing anything to help myself!

Oct 19, 2011#48

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
She said yes, gave me her number and she's free this weekend.

NOW stick in her pooper.

Oct 19, 2011#49

Chippy

ThatNickGuy said:
She said yes, gave me her number and she's free this weekend.

Good job, buddy.

There's no joke here. Just good job.

Oct 19, 2011#50

Jay

I'm proud of you son.

Oct 20, 2011#51

Shegokigo

Nick, total high-five. SRSLY.

Also, don't make the second big mistake in being interested in someone. Now that she's said yes, and know that she's interested/going out, DO NOT bring up your insecurities during the date. Don't talk about exes or what you don't like about yourself. Oh and don't prattle on about yourself, BUT also don't let her do ALL the talking.

But you know all that already, right?

Oct 20, 2011#52

Tress

Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

Oct 20, 2011#53

bhamv3

So any plans for what you guys will be doing this weekend?

Oct 20, 2011#54

ThatNickGuy

bhamv3 said:
So any plans for what you guys will be doing this weekend?

Well first, I'm gonna follow Gas' advice and stick it in her pooper.

Wait, no...

Nothing concrete yet. I'll call her on Friday, since her son goes to his father's on the weekends.

Oct 20, 2011#55

Cajungal

Yay! Have fun, Nick!

Oct 20, 2011#56

fade

First, single mothers don't "date." They have been to the circus, you know what I'm saying? They have been to the puppet show and they have seen the strings. You love her?

Just don't shoplift the pootie.

Oct 20, 2011#57

ThatNickGuy

*deep inhale, does some stretches and then...*

*runs around like a chicken with its head cut off, arms flailing wildly*

IHAVEADATEIHAVEADATEIHAVEADATEIHAVEADATEIHAVEADATEIHAVEADATE!

(Tomorrow night at a pub.

)

Oct 20, 2011#58

Emrys

I'm glad to see you're keeping your cool in this situation. I recommend doing that same routine at the pub. Always a crowd-pleaser.

Oct 21, 2011#59

TommiR

ThatNickGuy said:
(Tomorrow night at a pub. )

Go get her, mate.

Oct 21, 2011#60

Chibibar

Woo!!! go have fun.

Oct 21, 2011#61

Necronic

Just remember not to come across as weak.

The best way to do this is to challenge her to an arm wrestling match.

Oct 21, 2011#62

Shakey

But only if you know you can win.

Oct 21, 2011#63

ThatNickGuy

Fun fact: arm wrestling contests used to be one of my moves. It worked brilliantly with one girl; the people in the coffee shop even took joke bets. We wound up being together for 3 years.

As for tonight's date? It went...incredibly well. I've always heard that it's taboo to talk about sex, politics, and/or religion during a first date. We wound up talking about the two former quite a bit.

And she's...well, she's nothing short of amazing. And an amazing mom, from all the things she says. Her 5-year old son actually dislikes pop and junk food, and has no problem trying foods. And he's chivilristic, too! Really cool kid from what she tells me.

We talked pretty much the whole night and briefly kissed after I walked her home. We've already made semi-plans to go rock climbing at the campus rock wall sometime next week.

So, to sum up?

Oct 21, 2011#64

Cajungal

That sounds great, and her kid sounds awesome. I've met tons of parents who raised their kids to eat real food and enjoy it more than crappy but kid-friendly stuff. So glad you had fun. To me, talking about taboo subjects is the most interesting thing. That taboo rule is for snooty parties full of people who don't want to lose another monocle in their champagne glass.

Rock climbing is a great idea for a second date. Way to go, Nick!

Oct 21, 2011#65

Chad Sexington

Cajungal said:
That taboo rule is for snooty parties full of people who don't want to lose another monocle in their champagne glass.

Obviously you don't know how inconvenient that is. The plebes will never understand. *adjusts monocle, sips champagne*

Oct 21, 2011#66

ThatNickGuy

She's actually done a lot of rock climbing, so she's gonna show me the ropes. *cheesy thumbs up*

The one thing that, well, we're both apprehensive about is that this is her first time dating since the divorce. She's 25, married for 5 years and was with her ex for longer than that. I'm apprehensive because I've never dated a single mother before (first date with one, once, but she realized she wasn't ready to date yet). But after the hug, she said she wasn't sure about a good night kiss. I convinced her pretty quick when I said, "What if I were to say I've been wanting to kiss you all night?" She said she had a good reason why she wasn't sure about kissing, but she said she'd tell me another time.

Still, I'm not remotely afraid to take baby steps, here. Heck, for all I know, I'll just be her rebound guy to get her back into the dating scene.

Oct 21, 2011#67

Chad Sexington

ThatNickGuy said:
She said she had a good reason why she wasn't sure about kissing, but she said she'd tell me another time.

oh my god mouth herpes.

Oct 21, 2011#68

Cajungal

Beat me to it.

Oct 21, 2011#69

Baerdog

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

Oct 21, 2011#70

ThatNickGuy

Fuck, I hope not.

Oct 21, 2011#71

Cajungal

Aw, I'm sure it was just that she's scared of rushing things. And if not... Abreva.

Oct 21, 2011#72

Emrys

How did the arm waving in the pub go?

Oct 22, 2011#73

Biannoshufu

Mouth herpes?
See my avatar
<<---

Oct 22, 2011#74

Baerdog

That's a Glasgow grin.

Oct 23, 2011#75

bhamv3

And then when you go rock climbing, she'll climb up first, to demonstrate. And then her harness will slip, or she'll lose her grip, and she'll fall down from the wall, and you'll be right there to catch her.

And then when she's lying there cradled in your arms, with a slightly scared but incredibly relieved expression on her face, she'll turn her wide adoring eyes to you and be silently thankful that she's dating a manly, strong, and confident man like you.

And then something funny will happen, like someone will fart, or something.

Oct 24, 2011#76

Silver Jelly

bhamv3 said:
And then when you go rock climbing, she'll climb up first, to demonstrate. And then her harness will slip, or she'll lose her grip, and she'll fall down from the wall, and you'll be right there to catch her.

Or maybe she'll be wearing a skirt and you may be able to take a peek!

Oct 24, 2011#77

Tress

Silver Jelly said:
Or maybe she'll be wearing a skirt and you may be able to take a peek!

Oct 24, 2011#78

Shegokigo

Tress said:

What? Why not? I would!

Oct 24, 2011#79

Silver Jelly

What can I say, I'm such a romantic.

Oct 24, 2011#80

Tress

Shegokigo said:
What? Why not? I would!

Oct 24, 2011#81

bhamv3

If I'm wearing a skirt to a rock climbing date, I'll be expecting you to take a peak.

Oct 24, 2011#82

Biannoshufu

I'd pay money to see bhamv in a skirt on a rock climbing date.

Oct 24, 2011#83

bhamv3

I'll need a volunteer to take the picture, a rock climbing facility, someone to lend me a skirt, and a quart of brain bleach for the volunteer.

Oct 24, 2011#84

fade

ThatNickGuy said:
I'm apprehensive because I've never dated a single mother before (first date with one, once, but she realized she wasn't ready to date yet).

Still, I'm not remotely afraid to take baby steps, here. Heck, for all I know, I'll just be her rebound guy to get her back into the dating scene.

DON'T shoplift the pootie.

Oct 24, 2011#85

Silver Jelly

I foreigner, yes? What this mean?

Oct 24, 2011#86

Biannoshufu

If you have any honor, don't have sex with a single mother without commitment to her and her child, as her life is hard enough as it is without feeling like a one night stand.

at least this is what youtube tells me, I could be wrong.

Oct 24, 2011#87

Silver Jelly

Very Thanks you!

Oct 24, 2011#88

fade

It's from the movie Jerry Macguire. I'm pretty sure that it was something Cuba Gooding Jr's character made up (I never heard it before either), but yeah, he was using it to tell Tom Cruise's character not to just use a single mother for sex.

Oct 24, 2011#89

ThatNickGuy

Shyeah, like my integrity would ever let me do that.

Oct 26, 2011#90

ThatNickGuy

Goddamnit...damnit, damnit, damnit. No, Nick, you can't fall for this girl. Not this quick! DAMNIT.

So, she invited me over tonight for a movie, after her son went to sleep. We barely watched the movie.

...no, not like that. We talked. Lord, we talked. I can't remember the last time (if ever) I've felt so immediately comfortable with somebody. She has a lot of anxiety and insecurity about dating again. She admitted to me that her ex was abusive with her. Physically, even. Which makes my blood boil, but at the same time, I understand more now why she's so scared about getting into anything.

We sort of backpedelled a little. At her request, we're just hanging out for now, without the 'date' pressure. And I'm absolutely okay with that. It's driving me flipping nuts, but I'm okay with it. After the movie tonight, we kept talking until 1 AM. At one point, I started gently caressing her knee. She was nervous even about that, but was okay with it. That's as far as it got. I told her as I was leaving (which was awkward because we both wanted to kiss) that I understood, even if it drove me absolutely insane.

...

GODDAMNIT, I CAN'T FALL FOR SOMEONE SO QUICKLY!

Oct 26, 2011#91

Shegokigo

It ain't love yet kiddo, it's "New Car Smell". Give it time.

Oct 26, 2011#92

Tress

I'm sensing serious baggage too. Slow and steady, lest the whole ship capsize.

Oct 26, 2011#93

Officer_Charon

Shegokigo said:
It ain't love yet kiddo, it's "New Car Smell". Give it time.

That is, perhaps, the best metaphor I've ever heard for this stage...

Oct 26, 2011#94

bhamv3

Take it slow, let her know you're interested but that you won't put pressure on her.

Also, I find it an interesting inversion, in that Nick is now the confident party, while she's the one showing her insecurities.

Oct 26, 2011#95

fade

You're dating Rita from Dexter.

Oct 26, 2011#96

Shegokigo

Not to confuse what I said Nick, you could very well be developing feelings for her, BUT it is very crucial that develop is the key word. There's still years of history you need to know about her, regardless of how much you talked already. There's also ALOT of inner feelings and ideas that she most likely will not vocalize for a good while, for fear that you may not understand. When she does tell you, they may feel like no big deal to you, but they were a huge step for her to talk about.

The best thing about this Nick is you know she likes you, you know you like her, and there's not a single reason to go any faster than you are. Also, while you should let her lead the way, "little" nudges are fine.

Officer_Charon said:
That is, perhaps, the best metaphor I've ever heard for this stage...

heh, learned that phrase a good while back. I've even said it, straight out, to people who fall too hard, too fast.

fade said:
You're dating Rita from Dexter.

That's probably pretty close to accurate. Not sure how aggresive she'll be when she's "ready" but I'm sure she'll let Nick know.

Amorous Eyes said:
I tend to crush on anyone I sleep with. It often passes after a week or so. I'm usually very aware of this but that doesn't mean I don't want them anyway.

So so very true in my experience. However, just because I slept with "you" does not mean I'm interested past that. The fact that Nick and her are taking it slower, gives me hope for a much longer and fullfilling situation.

Oct 26, 2011#97

ThatNickGuy

Oh believe me, Shegster, I understand that. Man, do I ever understand that. My problem is that, because of my low self-esteem, if a girl shows interest, I tend to fall quick and fall hard. I'm trying very hard to not think about this too much and just enjoy the ride (before I enjoy the ride, wink wink nudge nudge).

She's actually incredibly surprised at how open I am to the idea that she has a kid and being a divorcee. I told her straight out that at my age, it's something I kind of expect to run into more and more as I grow older. It's like when I hit my early 20's and suddenly realized I had to do a ring check on girls I might flirt with. It's just sort of expected, especially in this day and age. I told her that it's not like this was just an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband. That would be weird if she still saw him. But the biological father? Different story.

The funny thing is, bhamv says I'm the confident party and that's not really true. We're both the insecure party here. We're both scared. Her insecurities are about letting someone in after an abusive relationship, to say nothing of protecting her child. My insecurities revolve around the fact that I have no confidence in myself and afraid I'm going to scare her away with something I do or say.

But I will say this: I haven't smiled or laughed as much as I did last night in a very long. My cheeks actually hurt by the end of the night (sounds like my prom night?). I feel really comfortable with this girl and feel like I can talk to her about anything and she'll understand. Hell, when she invited me over last night, she greeted me in her flannel pajamas. And I found that flipping adorable and endearing.

So yeah, just to reiterate, I'm trying very hard not to fall hard for this girl.

Oct 26, 2011#98

Necronic

Way I've always seen it is that in the opening stages it's about the sweet. In the long stages it's about the savory. See, I like candy bars, a lot. In fact, a lot of the time I would probably rather eat a candy bar than a steak. Candy bars have a powerful, if unsubtle richness to them.

But I won't eat candy bars for dinner. It's a short thing. If I eat 6 candybars I get sick. The long thing is the savory. That's dinner, that's the steak. That's the really good stuff, and it's something you can keep tasting without it getting worse. In some ways it gets better. Part of this has to do with the subtlety and complexity of the flavor.

Anyways, you're in the candy bar phase. That's not a knock on you, *everyone* starts in the candybar phase. This is because you don't know each other well, there isn't a lot of complexity to the flavor. The real test is when you start to get into the savory, and whether or not the subtlety of the savory and the lack of pow from the candybar is something you can give up, because, unlike the real dinner in this overly extended metaphor, there's no desert after the savory dinner. You don't get to go back to the sweet while maintaining the savory.

....I don't really know where I was going with this. Do with it what you will.

Oct 26, 2011#99

Biannoshufu

All I know from that is that I am eating six steaks for dinner.

Oct 26, 2011#100

Shegokigo

Steak for dinner does sound fantastic.

Wait are we making anlogies or talking about real food?

Eh, I'm having steak for dinner.

Oct 26, 2011#101

strawman

Don't care. Had steak.

Oct 26, 2011#102

Biannoshufu

Oct 26, 2011#103

ThatNickGuy

She doesn't eat beef. So, steak won't be on the menu anytime soon.

Wait, hang on...

Oct 26, 2011#104

Shegokigo

stienman said:
Don't care. Had steak.

Oct 26, 2011#105

ThatNickGuy

Man, I had no idea the kind of steaks involved in dating a divorcee.

Oct 26, 2011#106

Shegokigo

No.

Oct 26, 2011#107

Shannow

Put it in her pooper, Nick. Then, it does not count as sex, in the eyes of our Lord. Trust me, she will be into it. Problem solved.

Oct 26, 2011#108

Adammon

Biannoshufu said:

SO HUNGRY FOR MEATY GOODNESS

Oct 26, 2011#109

Biannoshufu

yeah that's a tuna steak.

Oct 26, 2011#110

strawman

Biannoshufu said:
yeah that's a tuna steak.

Oct 26, 2011#111

bhamv3

I just had steeeaaaak, and it tasted so good (tasted so good)
I killed a cow and put its meat inside me
I just had steeeaaaak, and I'll never go back (never go back)
To the not having steak ways of the past

Oct 26, 2011#112

Adammon

Biannoshufu said:
yeah that's a tuna steak.

No, this is a tuna steak:

Yours was a tuna steak appetizer!

Nov 1, 2011#113

ThatNickGuy

Update: She's not ready to date. She wants to know herself better before dating again.

So...rejected.
Added at: 13:21
I suppose on one bright side, the cute girl that I'd been making a lot of eye contact with from across the classroom in my Children's Lit class...is part of my group final project. In fact, when we were grouping up, she made a very vocal point saying, "I wanna be with you guys 'cause we haven't grouped together yet" and sat right down beside me.

Really don't know if anything'll happen. Been too depressed lately to be excited about anything.

Nov 1, 2011#114

Biannoshufu

get back in the saddle and look for another lady. Confidence is key, and you gave it a damn good college try. Increase your odds of success.

Nov 1, 2011#115

Shegokigo

Definitely an experience you can gain from Nick! You do so well when you're feeling happy man! Keep up that Superman Chin and you'll be fine.

Nov 1, 2011#116

strawman

ThatNickGuy said:
I suppose on one bright side, the cute girl that I'd been making a lot of eye contact with from across the classroom in my Children's Lit class...is part of my group final project. In fact, when we were grouping up, she made a very vocal point saying, "I wanna be with you guys 'cause we haven't grouped together yet" and sat right down beside me.

Nov 1, 2011#117

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
Update: She's not ready to date. She wants to know herself better before dating again.

So...rejected.
Added at: 13:21
I suppose on one bright side, the cute girl that I'd been making a lot of eye contact with from across the classroom in my Children's Lit class...is part of my group final project. In fact, when we were grouping up, she made a very vocal point saying, "I wanna be with you guys 'cause we haven't grouped together yet" and sat right down beside me.

Really don't know if anything'll happen. Been too depressed lately to be excited about anything.

Remember what I told you to do before? NO NOT THE POOPER THING, the other thing. Do that exact same thing again, but with this girl. I don't give a shit if you're depressed.

Nov 1, 2011#118

Tress

Don't be so depressed. It wasn't anything you did, the woman just needs more time for herself. Just chalk it up to bad timing and move on.

Nov 1, 2011#119

Chad Sexington

GasBandit said:
Remember what I told you to do before? NO NOT THE POOPER THING, the other thing. Do that exact same thing again, but with this girl. I don't give a shit if you're depressed.

I give a shit if you're depressed, but also think you should do this thing (the not-the-pooper thing).

Nov 1, 2011#120

Chibibar

Well, sorry to hear it didn't work out. Don't get depressed. Divorcee is probably one of the "harder" one to date really. There is a reason they divorce so until they come to terms and work it out in their head, most may not be ready to date on a serious level.

good luck with the new girl

edit: it is good that you let the girl know you are interested in her from the get go. Now she knows that you wanted this to go somewhere but she is not ready hence the "dump" if you didn't let her know, I'm sure you would end up as friend zone.

Nov 1, 2011#121

ThatNickGuy

To be honest, it isn't just the divorcee that got me depressed, though that played a hand in it. I've been getting down because, frankly speaking, I've been spending just about all my time staring at the computer screen, doing jack all. I don't really have any friends here that I see on a regular basis. Classmates, sure, and one guy I hang out with once in a blue moon, but no one I would consider a good friend. So I'm fucking lonely as all hell.

It doesn't help that I've been doubting more and more as to whether I can even be a teacher. It's just such a huge leap from working shit jobs like Blockbuster that I can't imagine doing anything else.

Nov 1, 2011#122

Adammon

ThatNickGuy said:
To be honest, it isn't just the divorcee that got me depressed, though that played a hand in it. I've been getting down because, frankly speaking, I've been spending just about all my time staring at the computer screen, doing jack all. I don't really have any friends here that I see on a regular basis. Classmates, sure, and one guy I hang out with once in a blue moon, but no one I would consider a good friend. So I'm fucking lonely as all hell.

It doesn't help that I've been doubting more and more as to whether I can even be a teacher. It's just such a huge leap from working shit jobs like Blockbuster that I can't imagine doing anything else.

I like you

*manhug*

Nov 1, 2011#123

Espy

You can do it man! If you are spending to much time in front of the computer it sounds like it's time to pick up a new community focused hobby!

Nov 1, 2011#124

Shegokigo

Well here's the question Nick, what would you RATHER be doing than staring at the computer and why AREN'T you doing that instead?

Nov 1, 2011#125

ThatNickGuy

That's the problem: I don't know. While I'm depressed like this, I especially can't think of anything. Homework involes almost primarily doing something on the computer, so that doesn't help. Go to the gym, maybe, but it's hard to get motivated when depressed.

It sure as hell doesn't help that this tiny town has absolutely nothing to do or anywhere to go. At least in Toronto, I could, I don't know, go to the bookstore or the comic store or something.

Nov 1, 2011#126

Biannoshufu

Shegokigo said:
Well here's the question Nick, what would you RATHER be doing than staring at the computer and why AREN'T you doing that instead?

Good question.

Nov 1, 2011#127

GasBandit

If I were to die tomorrow, my only regret would be that I didn't spend MORE time staring at the computer doing jack-all.

Nov 1, 2011#128

Chibibar

ThatNickGuy said:
That's the problem: I don't know. While I'm depressed like this, I especially can't think of anything. Homework involes almost primarily doing something on the computer, so that doesn't help. Go to the gym, maybe, but it's hard to get motivated when depressed.

It sure as hell doesn't help that this tiny town has absolutely nothing to do or anywhere to go. At least in Toronto, I could, I don't know, go to the bookstore or the comic store or something.

well, ummm. hmmm. I think it might be good to form study groups (worked for me) or at least check out what kind of activities your school offers like maybe school plays? does the school have a rec center? student center? a pool? (most of these things are usually free to students)

I use to remember my school have movie nights (usually at a rec center) where people gather and watch cheesy movie (usually B-rate but the movie is more of a reason to party hehe)

Nov 1, 2011#129

Shegokigo

Biannoshufu said:
Good question.

Great at giving advice, terrible at doing it. I know, I know....

Nov 1, 2011#130

Chibibar

Shegokigo said:
Great at giving advice, terrible at doing it. I know, I know....

Nah. It is interesting that most of us have experience a tons of things (one degree or another) and some don't remember it or realize the situation until someone else tells us. It is easier to see from the outside in. Heck, I remember a time when I was in a BAD relationship but I had no fricken clue at the time cause I thought I was in love until my friends pull me aside and literally slap me silly.

Nov 1, 2011#131

Shegokigo

I meant that this conversation very closely mirrors one that Biann and I had recently.

Nov 1, 2011#132

Tress

ThatNickGuy said:
It doesn't help that I've been doubting more and more as to whether I can even be a teacher. It's just such a huge leap from working shit jobs like Blockbuster that I can't imagine doing anything else.

Hey, I used to feel this way too. It's intimidating. You want to do well, and you want to be a good teacher, so you worry. Trust me when I say that if you want to teach, and you're willing to learn and practice and do the actual job, you'll do great. Don't worry if you don't know how to be a good teacher right now; that will come later naturally. Many of the crappy teachers in the system right now are the worthless jackasses who got into teaching because it seemed easy, or it seemed like a guaranteed income, or because they had no idea what to do. If you actually want to do it, you're already miles ahead of many others. Don't be discouraged.

Nov 1, 2011#133

Biannoshufu

ThatNickGuy said:
That's the problem: I don't know. While I'm depressed like this, I especially can't think of anything. Homework involes almost primarily doing something on the computer, so that doesn't help. Go to the gym, maybe, but it's hard to get motivated when depressed.

It sure as hell doesn't help that this tiny town has absolutely nothing to do or anywhere to go. At least in Toronto, I could, I don't know, go to the bookstore or the comic store or something.

Nov 3, 2011#134

ThatNickGuy

Welp, so much for girl #2. She's got a boyfriend. Found out via Facebook when our class group added each other.

Nov 3, 2011#135

Chibibar

ThatNickGuy said:
Welp, so much for girl #2. She's got a boyfriend. Found out via Facebook when our class group added each other.

Keep on truckin buddy. Since you are in school, your options is far greater than when out of school (IMO) you can meet up some interesting people.

as for being a teacher: since you REALLY want to be one, I say you will be a great one in the future.

Nov 3, 2011#136

GasBandit

ThatNickGuy said:
Welp, so much for girl #2. She's got a boyfriend. Found out via Facebook when our class group added each other.

They always do. Just remember a boyfriend is not a husband.

Nov 3, 2011#137

strawman

I dunno dude. Sounds like you just dumped yourself from a girl without ever actually asking her out and letting her decide whether to reject you or not.

Maybe it's too late for therapy!

I don't think self-rejection is worse than real rejection, so you have nothing to lose now - you've already been rejected, might as well take the chance and have her officially reject you as well. Won't hurt you any more than it already has.

Could be fun.

Nov 3, 2011#138

Silver Jelly

I could star in a tv series with that title.

even if I got therapy for years!

Nov 3, 2011#139

strawman

TV series title suggestions from this thread:

Keep on truckin'
Too late for therapy
A boyfriend is not a husband
Staring at the computer doing jack-all.

Nov 3, 2011#140

Shakey

Don't forget "stick it in her pooper". That might have to be a late night Cinemax series though.

Nov 3, 2011#141

strawman

Shakey said:
Don't forget "stick it in her pooper". That might have to be a late night Cinemax series though.

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=kancho

Nov 3, 2011#142

ThatNickGuy

How about "Man the Fuck Up"?

It could be like $@$% My Dad Says where we all know what the word is but they won't actually say it.

Nov 3, 2011#143

Chibibar

ThatNickGuy said:
How about "Man the Fuck Up"?

It could be like $@$% My Dad Says where we all know what the word is but they won't actually say it.

You know, sometimes on facebook people have "boyfriend/girlfriend" to "shield" themselves from online harassment

maybe she is single but said she has a boyfriend

Nov 3, 2011#144

Shegokigo

Let me tell you this Nick:

Single guy, teacher, in a school full of women (other teachers/student's mothers) who will most likely be either single/divorced? You're going to have NO shortage of attention.

Nov 3, 2011#145

Chibibar

Shegokigo said:
Let me tell you this Nick:

Single guy, teacher, in a school full of women (other teachers/student's mothers) who will most likely be either single/divorced? You're going to have NO shortage of attention.

and good looking guy too boot! yea no shortage for Nick.

Nov 3, 2011#146

ThatNickGuy

That's...actually a situation I'll be apprehensive about entering (if it occurs). For the sake of the kid I'm teaching, I'd actually say no to dating the mother...at least until the end of the school year or something.

Stupid integrity.
Added at: 11:55
Upon closer inspection, I think she may actually be single. I feel dirty and creepy doing all this Facebook stalking, but not only does he appear much older, but there's mention and pictures of his wife.

Soooooo...

Nov 3, 2011#147

Shegokigo

Nick, I didn't mean YOUR student's mothers. There's plenty of hot moms walking around a Parent/Teacher's night or PTA meetings

if you want to think about it further, social connections. (Hot mom has hot sister. Hot mom says "Billy's teacher is so so hot, and he's so nice, I'm married but sis, he's a real catch!")

The possibilities are endless!

Nov 3, 2011#148

Silver Jelly

ThatNickGuy said:
Upon closer inspection, I think she may actually be single. I feel dirty and creepy doing all this Facebook stalking[/media]

Wait, you are talking about facebook stalking as it was something bad?

Nov 3, 2011#149

GasBandit

One man's stalking is another man's due diligence.

Nov 3, 2011#150

Silver Jelly

My english is failing, so I'll just imagine you agree with me. ALL OF YOU.

Nov 3, 2011#151

ThatNickGuy

Isn't it, though? I'm honestly not even sure if it's considered prudent or creepy to FB stalk.

Nov 3, 2011#152

strawman

When someone friends you they are essentially opening the book for you, and giving you permission to read it. They have privacy controls for the more sensitive stuff.

It's not stalking.

Nov 3, 2011#153

Chibibar

ThatNickGuy said:
That's...actually a situation I'll be apprehensive about entering (if it occurs). For the sake of the kid I'm teaching, I'd actually say no to dating the mother...at least until the end of the school year or something.

Stupid integrity.
Added at: 11:55
Upon closer inspection, I think she may actually be single. I feel dirty and creepy doing all this Facebook stalking, but not only does he appear much older, but there's mention and pictures of his wife.

Soooooo...

Woo!! so my hunch was right? it was a "fake b/f" to throw off stalkers

Of course, you could always just ask her out. She can either say yes or no

Nov 3, 2011#154

sixpackshaker

I recently looked up the facebook account of a woman that's been flirting with me lately...

she was kissing another woman on her profile picture.

:aaah:

But it was just a woman that looked similar and had a similar name... :thumbsup:

Nov 3, 2011#155

Chibibar

sixpackshaker said:
I recently looked up the facebook account of a woman that's been flirting with me lately...

she was kissing another woman on her profile picture.

But it was just a woman that looked similar and had a similar name...

sounds a like a possible three-some!

Nov 3, 2011#156

ThatNickGuy

Wait, hang on...I feel like there's something I'm supposed to say in response that. Something about a High School festivity of...some sort...

Damn. I'm drawing a blank.

Nov 3, 2011#157

Biannoshufu

see sig

Nov 3, 2011#158

ThatNickGuy

All ready in it.

Nov 3, 2011#159

Jay

Forums