[Question] Quickie Advice - Asking out Online

[ThatNickGuy]

Over the weekend, at the TreeGo outing with the school's outdoor club, I kinda met a girl. I don't know if this is a case of reading too much into things, but I got some possible signs that she might be into me:

-We started chatting very early into the whole course. An early question she threw at me, though? "So, are you married?" That's kind of a dead giveaway hint right there, isn't it?

-She stayed in her same seat in the back of the van the whole way, but we made eye contact with each other quite a bit via the rearview mirror.

-Added her on Facebook shortly after. We've chatted a few times. Not very much, since we're both pretty busy. I joked that I didn't feel very manly, referring to my being terrified. She said "it's impossible do anything 'unmanly' so long as you're sporting a goatee."

Anyway, here's my question: there is almost little to no chance that I'm going to run into her in person any time in the near future. This weekend's outdoor group activity is all booked up and they don't have any other meetings or outings for a little while. She's also not in the same program as me, so no chance of seeing her in class.

With this in mind...do you think it'd be okay to ask someone out online? I'd even preface it with saying, "I hate asking this over the 'net, but..."

 

[GasBandit]

DO NOT PORTRAY WEAKNESS. Casual. Confident.

"Hey, wanna go get some coffee?" No squeamishness about "I know this is really lame but..." or "it's totally ok if you don't want to..." Just a simple question. Concise, unthreatening, without qualifiers.

 

[Charlie Don't Surf]

You could ask for her phone number via a message.

also it's a little early in the relationship to be trying to get a quickie

 

[ThatNickGuy]

She's already seen me nearly pissing my pants terrified. Weakness portrayal is pretty much out the window, already.

 

[Dave]

There's different kinds of weakness. But fear of social interaction will be noticed.

Take Gas' advice.

 

[Tress]

Gas is completely right. Just ask her out to something casual but nice (coffee, drinks, etc.). Don't worry about the medium, so long as the message gets through.

 

[GasBandit]

Besides, you're not doing anything to be scared of here. You're not asking her for sex. You're not asking her to marry you. You're not applying for a loan. You're asking her if she wants to get some coffee. That's all it is, that's all you need to convey.
Added at: 17:50

Gas is completely right.

I've half a mind to put that in my signature.

 

[Espy]

What Gas is saying.

 

[Cajungal]

Agreed. Gas has it right. Good luck!

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Not even if I ask for some hot coffee?



But yeah, I'm just gonna man the fuck up and ask her out.

 

[Biannoshufu]

well this thread is titled "Quickie advice," so.....

 

[Tress]

I've half a mind to put that in my signature.

In this, as in all things, context is king.

 

[Chibibar]

Coffee is pretty safe

 

[Espy]

But yeah, I'm just gonna man the fuck up and ask her out.

Just like that? But I haven't even had time to suggest you get therapy yet!

 

[ThatNickGuy]

Oh! Right! Hang on...

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, ESPY! You don't know me, all right!? My friends always, always, ALWAYS tell me that showing weakness is showing honesty! Why should I listen to you when I can listen to them!?

 

[Espy]

Pff, right, like the guy in the 10,000 dollar suit is gonna listen to the guy in the 100 dollar suit whine. COME ON!!!

 

[Jay]

Honestly, you have nothing to lose by asking her if she'd like to go out for coffee and chat.

Furthermore, please understand this and not pull a Norris with this thread going on needlessly for 11 pages.

 

[strawman]

do you think it'd be okay to ask someone out online?

Yes, of course. You just can't break up online. If she accepts, then you offer your number. She will likely reciprocate, and further conversations can happen via phone if that's the method you prefer.

I'd even preface it with saying, "I hate asking this over the 'net, but..."

rolls up newspaper

NO! BAD THATNICKGUY! BAD! BAD!

pauses to consider whether to bop you on the nose or rub your nose in the quote... decides to do neither

Just ask her out. "I want to go out with you. Are you free Thursday or Friday evening?" As Gas said, no need to be timid. You know what you want, and you're going to ask for it straightup.

 

[bhamv3]

And then, five minutes into coffee, whip it out.

Amidoinitright?

 

[Tress]

Well, it would definitely be a quickie date at that point.

 

[BananaHands]

And then, five minutes into coffee, whip it out.

Amidoinitright?

You would have to preface this with "Enough of this cup o' joe, how bout a cup o' Nick?"
Added at: 05:14
I was also going to make a joke about 'cream', but...

 

[Silver Jelly]

Damn, bananahands, I wanted to do a joke about cream too.

My plan B joke was something about a "cup of Johnson", or something like that.

 

[kaykordeath]

Send her a message detailing your prom night.

Then tell her she could be next.

Then go get therapy.

 

[fade]

Is it wrong that my brain keeps substituting "eating" for "asking" in the title? That would be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more interesting.

 

[BananaHands]

Honestly, you should just message her "Hey, we should hang".

Don't overthink it, don't overcomplicate it. It doesn't give any notion that you want it to be romantic or not romantic and it almost seems confident.

Oh, and it's one letter away from "Hey, we should bang."

 

[LordRendar]

Honestly, you should just message her "Hey, we should hang".

Don't overthink it, don't overcomplicate it. It doesn't give any notion that you want it to be romantic or not romantic and it almost seems confident.

Oh, and it's one letter away from "Hey, we should bang."

We'll if both of them like Erotic asphyxation "Hey,we should hang." is totaly viable.

 

[Disconnected]

DO NOT PORTRAY WEAKNESS. Casual. Confident.

"Hey, wanna go get some coffee?" No squeamishness about "I know this is really lame but..." or "it's totally ok if you don't want to..." Just a simple question. Concise, unthreatening, without qualifiers.

I will agree with this advice as well, and not just with dating. Don't give people an out because they will take it.

 

[Chibibar]

I will agree with this advice as well, and not just with dating. Don't give people an out because they will take it.

I agree. I use to do this A LOT when I was younger cause I lack confidence. Now I just either ask and see what happen. If it is a yes, then cool, if it is a no, I just move on.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

All right, so question has been asked to her. Hard to find a time when we're both online, so I just threw it out there. Probably not the wisest decision, but there it is.

Penny in the air...

 

[strawman]

DO YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE CHECK YES OR NO:

__YES
__NO

 

[Chibibar]

DO YOU LIKE ME, PLEASE CHECK YES OR NO:

_X_YES
__NO

but not that way

 

[ThatNickGuy]

That was Plan B.

I was going to write it on my penis.

 

[strawman]

So that's what everyone here means when they say, "I'd drop trou, then ask how about it?"

 

[GasBandit]

All right, so question has been asked to her. Hard to find a time when we're both online, so I just threw it out there. Probably not the wisest decision, but there it is.

Penny in the air...

As long as you didn't project any of that quoted insecurity, you've got an even shot. But don't get bent up if she says no. The thing about coin flips is sometimes they come up tails - it isn't an indictment of you as a person.

 

[Tress]

As long as you didn't project any of that quoted insecurity, you've got an even shot. But don't get bent up if she says no. The thing about coin flips is sometimes they come up tails - it isn't an indictment of you as a person.

I think GasBandit should have his own dating advice show. At the very least something on the radio.