Sounds better than Tickle Me Gasbandit.
Rant VII: Now With 25% Less Drama
- Thread starter North_Ranger
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I miss being Nick the Brick. Like, when I had 'the guns.'
The "Criticize-You Charlie" doll with pull-string was't a bit seller.
Cajungal
Staff member
There are still guns. They just need cleaning! I'm in the same boat, Nicholas.... got soft after Mardi Gras, but that's what it's for, I guess. You'll get there again, and then you can post awesome yoga pictures that make me jealous again!
You know what you need, CG? Couch exercises. 
Over this winter I gained.... well, Idon't know how much weight, but enough that my waist size in January was 4in bigger than it was in August.. That's pretty considerable. Came from eating a lot more mall food and not being able to cook for myself. So in January I started eating vegetarian Mon-Fri and only allowing myself one meat meal each on Saturday and Sunday. Lost 2 inches back off, and dropping. And I just feel a whole lot healthier. NExt step is actually getting the exercise going.
Cajungal
Staff member
I call that Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday night.You know what you need, CG? Couch exercises.
^FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....
I scraped together some emergency cash and my best friend floated me a short term loan until this is all figured out which should cover my pending transactions and get me through the end of the week. Not sure how I'm gonna pay my student loan or whether or not my rent will bounce right now though. I've deposited another paycheck since this one that bounced and I'm hoping it actually goes through.
M
makare
wtf that's bullshit.
figmentPez
Staff member
So, Dave was nice enough to ask me:
Things have been pretty lousy on multiple levels.
The shift to warmer weather is really kicking me hard. Having nights go back and forth from cold to hot is really screwing up my sleep. Then there's other medical stuff, getting various medications balanced and stuff. It's all left me hurting, a lot. These short-term setbacks have made me really frustrated with long-term stuff...
I don't know what you get like when you have the flu, but when I'm knocked down when I'm really sick I don't care about doing anything. I'm perfectly fine with just laying around; I'm barely aware and I feel like it's going to be forever, but I don't want to do anything. Then, the last day or so when I'm starting to recover, I get restless and want to start doing more than I'm capable of. That's what I'm going through now, on a much bigger scale.
I went through 5 or 6 years where I wasn't really with it most of the time; I thought it would go on forever and I didn't really care. Now that I'm starting to recover, I'm really restless. I'm well enough to care about the life I'm missing out on, but I'm not well enough yet to get out there and actually have a life. Heck, with all the ups and downs of getting better, plus all the effort I have to put into fixing things, I'm actually doing less hobby-ish stuff than I used to.
It's hard to maintain friendships when I can't get out and do anything on a regular basis. The rare occasions where I actually get out of the house and spend time with people exhaust me so much it puts my forward progress with my health in jeopardy. I have friends that I can chat with online, but not many who I really connect enough with to make conversation easy. Most of my old friends have moved on with their lives. People my age have jobs, marriages, kids and other stuff that never happened for me.
I don't really know where the hell I fit in. I'm 32 years old but I sure haven't actually lived 32 years. Most college students have more life experience than I do. I've always lived under my parent's roof. I haven't even lived in a dorm, let alone in an apartment/house of my own. I've never held a full-time job. There are years and years of my life filled with pain and filler. It's not like I can just start lying about my age. Even though I feel more kinship with college students, other people still figuring out their own identity and finding their place in the world, I'm still not a part of that world and it's pretty obvious I'm not in my early twenties, even if that's about how old I feel sometimes. People my age are too busy and established in their lives, younger guys are largely idiots who only have superficial conversations, younger girls often find the age difference too off-putting to even consider a close friendship. I know everyone has trouble finding those few people you can really be close friends with, but it really feels like the deck is stacked against me. Argh, if finding friends is this hard, I don't even want to imagine what it's going to be like if I'm ever healthy enough to look for romance.
Oh, and on top of all this I'm experiencing emotions for the first time in a half-dozen years. When my health crashed hard back in 2005, I was so burnt-out I stopped feeling. From then until about nine months ago, it was rare for me to feel anything more than mild happiness or a mix of fear and anger. I started noticing my emotions again back in June of last year, and it's been a strange build-up since then. Emotions are not like riding a bike; it has not just come back to me. I've had to re-learn how to identify what I'm feeling, and this from a guy who used to be pretty in-touch with his emotions.
This is so damn confusing. I'd seriously forgotten that envy is an emotion, and not just an intellectual concept. For a while I was so confused because I thought I was developing a crush on a young lady who I felt no romantic attraction towards. I was just envious of all the cool stuff she's got going on in her life. It took me a while to figure out the difference between wanting her and wanting what she has, when it was just feelings I was having trouble putting words to. I'm not even sure I've even fully recovered my emotions yet. I keep feeling new stuff that I have to figure out. Stuff that's more increasingly subtle and complex, but sometimes quite strong as well. It's really exhausting dealing with this.
Oh, and my diet is really frustrating. Because of the fungal infection I'm still fighting off, I have to limit the amount of carbs I eat, and what type. For a while I was trying to have grains now and then, with a little fruit every day, but it's clear now I can't handle that and continue to get better. So my diet is now really frustrating. I'm eating tasty food, but it's often not very satisfying and there's stuff I really really miss. I'd love to have pizza, but even a few bites could make me worse for days.
Special thanks to LittleKagsin for being such a good friend through all this.
TL;DR My life is really confused and confusing. I've got a lot of things that are exhausting to deal with and not much energy to spend on dealing with them.
I figured I'd let anyone who wants to know hear:
Things have been pretty lousy on multiple levels.
The shift to warmer weather is really kicking me hard. Having nights go back and forth from cold to hot is really screwing up my sleep. Then there's other medical stuff, getting various medications balanced and stuff. It's all left me hurting, a lot. These short-term setbacks have made me really frustrated with long-term stuff...
I don't know what you get like when you have the flu, but when I'm knocked down when I'm really sick I don't care about doing anything. I'm perfectly fine with just laying around; I'm barely aware and I feel like it's going to be forever, but I don't want to do anything. Then, the last day or so when I'm starting to recover, I get restless and want to start doing more than I'm capable of. That's what I'm going through now, on a much bigger scale.
I went through 5 or 6 years where I wasn't really with it most of the time; I thought it would go on forever and I didn't really care. Now that I'm starting to recover, I'm really restless. I'm well enough to care about the life I'm missing out on, but I'm not well enough yet to get out there and actually have a life. Heck, with all the ups and downs of getting better, plus all the effort I have to put into fixing things, I'm actually doing less hobby-ish stuff than I used to.
It's hard to maintain friendships when I can't get out and do anything on a regular basis. The rare occasions where I actually get out of the house and spend time with people exhaust me so much it puts my forward progress with my health in jeopardy. I have friends that I can chat with online, but not many who I really connect enough with to make conversation easy. Most of my old friends have moved on with their lives. People my age have jobs, marriages, kids and other stuff that never happened for me.
I don't really know where the hell I fit in. I'm 32 years old but I sure haven't actually lived 32 years. Most college students have more life experience than I do. I've always lived under my parent's roof. I haven't even lived in a dorm, let alone in an apartment/house of my own. I've never held a full-time job. There are years and years of my life filled with pain and filler. It's not like I can just start lying about my age. Even though I feel more kinship with college students, other people still figuring out their own identity and finding their place in the world, I'm still not a part of that world and it's pretty obvious I'm not in my early twenties, even if that's about how old I feel sometimes. People my age are too busy and established in their lives, younger guys are largely idiots who only have superficial conversations, younger girls often find the age difference too off-putting to even consider a close friendship. I know everyone has trouble finding those few people you can really be close friends with, but it really feels like the deck is stacked against me. Argh, if finding friends is this hard, I don't even want to imagine what it's going to be like if I'm ever healthy enough to look for romance.
Oh, and on top of all this I'm experiencing emotions for the first time in a half-dozen years. When my health crashed hard back in 2005, I was so burnt-out I stopped feeling. From then until about nine months ago, it was rare for me to feel anything more than mild happiness or a mix of fear and anger. I started noticing my emotions again back in June of last year, and it's been a strange build-up since then. Emotions are not like riding a bike; it has not just come back to me. I've had to re-learn how to identify what I'm feeling, and this from a guy who used to be pretty in-touch with his emotions.
This is so damn confusing. I'd seriously forgotten that envy is an emotion, and not just an intellectual concept. For a while I was so confused because I thought I was developing a crush on a young lady who I felt no romantic attraction towards. I was just envious of all the cool stuff she's got going on in her life. It took me a while to figure out the difference between wanting her and wanting what she has, when it was just feelings I was having trouble putting words to. I'm not even sure I've even fully recovered my emotions yet. I keep feeling new stuff that I have to figure out. Stuff that's more increasingly subtle and complex, but sometimes quite strong as well. It's really exhausting dealing with this.
Oh, and my diet is really frustrating. Because of the fungal infection I'm still fighting off, I have to limit the amount of carbs I eat, and what type. For a while I was trying to have grains now and then, with a little fruit every day, but it's clear now I can't handle that and continue to get better. So my diet is now really frustrating. I'm eating tasty food, but it's often not very satisfying and there's stuff I really really miss. I'd love to have pizza, but even a few bites could make me worse for days.
Special thanks to LittleKagsin for being such a good friend through all this.
TL;DR My life is really confused and confusing. I've got a lot of things that are exhausting to deal with and not much energy to spend on dealing with them.
We'd burn it down in the first ever real life, internet, flame war.
Plus, I know I'd end up getting the apartment right below Shego's. Strange fluids leaking down from her place, never being able to sleep at night because of all the screaming (both of pleasure and pain), her constantly sneaking in through my window to ask if she can borrow MORE Vaseline, etc.
Dear Savannah. Stop driving, all of you. You obviously cannot do it without HITTING EVERYTHING.
M
makare
HIT ALL THE THINGS! /Savannah
Aww, Pez. I'm sorry things are still a bummer, but you know I'm here for you. *HUGS*
(Also, OMG, you can tag people now??)
(Also, OMG, you can tag people now??)
Dave
Staff member
Hey now...
LittleKagsin Ohhh that was nice, I think I will do that again. LittleKagsin
Tagging me is going to become the new halfourms in-joke isn't it?
....I would, you know, tag someone, but, alas I don't know how....
....I would, you know, tag someone, but, alas I don't know how....
'Cause, y'know, Tagging is where it's "at."
...
I'll be sitting in the corner with the Cone of Shame.
...
I'll be sitting in the corner with the Cone of Shame.
I didn't realize l-kagz was into old men
GOOD NEWS EVERYBODY!!!
really.
REALLY...
REALLY...
Oh gosh, this is going south fast....
Evade, evade!!
[insert cat backing through the door gif - cause I'm to lazy to find it...]
Evade, evade!!
[insert cat backing through the door gif - cause I'm to lazy to find it...]
Oh goodness. YES!
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