So with time, they will come to accept him?Wear them down over time. That's the only thing I've ever seen work for this problem.
Well, it would help if we knew your race, and thus their race, as well as location and culture.So with time, they will come to accept him?
I'm Asian and so are my parents. My parents are very judgemental and somewhat traditional-minded people.Well, it would help if we knew your race, and thus their race, as well as location and culture.
I'm going to guess that you're in an asian country? If they're hardcore oldschool asian, then no, they probably won't, but at least they'll stop talking about it.
This is a likely outcome. If you are in the US and your parents immigrated here, then you have a better chance of them eventually coming to accept him. But no matter what, there's no magic bullet to solve the problem. It will take time and patience.I'm going to guess that you're in an asian country? If they're hardcore oldschool asian, then no, they probably won't, but at least they'll stop talking about it.
I'm a Chinese living in Canada, and my parents have a very traditional mindset about dating and they don't want me dating White guys, but I'm attracted to them and not to Asian guys.This is a likely outcome. If you are in the US and your parents immigrated here, then you have a better chance of them eventually coming to accept him. But no matter what, there's no magic bullet to solve the problem. It will take time and patience.
I'm a Chinese living in Canada, and my parents have a very traditional mindset about dating and they don't want me dating White guys, but I'm attracted to them and not to Asian guys.
I promise to sleep with you like a shameless hussy.I suddenly feel like I should go to Taiwan, where I'm the exotic badboy that girl's mothers warn them about.
Not to take this in a different direction, but I'm genuinely curious Bhamv, what's the consensus on the reverse situation, i.e. Asian male with a white female? When we went back to see my husband's family in Taiwan, they seemed to welcome me with open arms. I say "seemed" because my Mandarin is terrible, and I've noticed older generations of Chinese families are as huggy as I'm used to in my American experience. That and from experience I've noticed dissent isn't usually said right to your face. (Though I can can think of a couple of occasions "gui lo" and "lao wai" have been directed at me, but never by anyone in my husband's family.) I did worry about this at first because my husband is pretty much the "golden child" of his family (1st born son, 1st born grandson, etc.)Very well-written post snipped for length.
Better find a place with air conditioning! Taiwan is a sub-tropical region and OHMYGOD the humidity! UGGGHHHHH! I've never had anything that bad anywhere in the US, and my grandmother-in-law's apartment building didn't have A/C. And this was in November! Florida has not prepared you for it.I suddenly feel like I should go to Taiwan, where I'm the exotic badboy that girl's mothers warn them about.
Yes, would much more difficult for the White woman to get an Asian man, as his mother is overly-protective of her son. The parents would feel that a white woman isn't worthy enough of their son.Not to take this in a different direction, but I'm genuinely curious Bhamv, what's the consensus on the reverse situation, i.e. Asian male with a white female? When we went back to see my husband's family in Taiwan, they seemed to welcome me with open arms. I say "seemed" because my Mandarin is terrible, and I've noticed older generations of Chinese families are as huggy as I'm used to in my American experience. That and from experience I've noticed dissent isn't usually said right to your face. (Though I can can think of a couple of occasions "gui lo" and "lao wai" have been directed at me, but never by anyone in my husband's family.) I did worry about this at first because my husband is pretty much the "golden child" of his family (1st born son, 1st born grandson, etc.)
But getting back to Naiwen's original question, having been in your boyfriend's shoes about a decade ago, I can see how it can get awkward. Fortunately, my mother-in-law didn't care about my color, but coming into a situation that is so dissimilar from your own can pose some challenges. Bhamv's post covered the important stuff, so I can only add this: You can't really change your parents' minds, but if you're really serious about this guy, you may want to try offering an "olive branch" but cluing him in on social customs that might make your parents feel less uncomfortable, too. (Like always taking his shoes off when entering the house, etc.) I'm still trying to learn Mandarin, partially because I want our son to be fluent as well, and I still want to be able to communicate better with my husband's non-English speaking relatives. I learned to eat with chopsticks, we host the holiday parties like Chinese New Year and I'm still learning customs as they turn up, like last weekend when I attended my first Buddhist funeral (my husband's great aunt passed). Part of your parent's rejection may come from fear of the unknown and not wanting to feel "alien" in their own home. By making them see that it's not impossible to share culture, they may be a little more accommodating.
Better find a place with air conditioning! Taiwan is a sub-tropical region and OHMYGOD the humidity! UGGGHHHHH! I've never had anything that bad anywhere in the US, and my grandmother-in-law's apartment building didn't have A/C. And this was in November! Florida has not prepared you for it.
I don't know if it's more difficult, but I know it's far less common. And parents who are "anti-whatever" are going to make a relationship difficult no matter what. I think if the guy your seeing is a good guy, he'll be willing to at least make the effort to meet your parents half-way.Yes, would much more difficult for the White woman to get an Asian man, as his mother is overly-protective of her son. The parents would feel that a white woman isn't worthy enough of their son.
Have they been accepted by the Chinese girl's family or not? My parents don't want me to date Caucasian men, because they think they're all bad men.This is an interesting post to read; my brother is dating a Chinese girl, and so is my girlfriend's brother. I wonder what they've experienced.
I don't know about my brother, honestly. My girlfriend's brother asked her family for permission to marry, and they said yes: but they expect him to own a house and a pay them $3000 - neither of which he can do by June, when the wedding is. Not sure what will happen.Have they been accept by the Chinese girl's family or not? My parents don't want me to date Caucasian men, because they think they're all bad men.
wow, that's a lot. Asian parents tend to be a wee bit shallow in my opinion. And very judgemental. What do you think?I don't know about my brother, honestly. My girlfriend's brother asked her family for permission to marry, and they said yes: but they expect him to own a house and a pay them $3000 - neither of which he can do by June, when the wedding is. Not sure what will happen.
The only parent-aged Asian person I've been in touch with is a Chinese Canadian (Canadian-born) friend of my father. He's an awesome guy. Comped my meal at his restaurant once, which was a surprise to me and the friends I was there with; he wasn't in the restaurant but apparently he'd been talking to my father who mentioned I was going to be there for dinner that night!wow, that's a lot. Asian parents tend to be a wee bit shallow in my opinion. And very judgemental. What do you think?
On average, no more so than any other group. The ones I know (parents of friends both as I was growing up and current friends, in addition to my husband's family) run the gamut from friendly and generous and welcoming to shy and reserved to unapologetically xenophobic. (It was one of our friend's parents that called me a "gui luo", but his mom also thought I was his date. Not that it makes it better.)wow, that's a lot. Asian parents tend to be a wee bit shallow in my opinion. And very judgemental. What do you think?
Firstly, I had no idea your husband's Taiwanese, that's awesome.Not to take this in a different direction, but I'm genuinely curious Bhamv, what's the consensus on the reverse situation, i.e. Asian male with a white female? When we went back to see my husband's family in Taiwan, they seemed to welcome me with open arms. I say "seemed" because my Mandarin is terrible, and I've noticed older generations of Chinese families are as huggy as I'm used to in my American experience. That and from experience I've noticed dissent isn't usually said right to your face. (Though I can can think of a couple of occasions "gui lo" and "lao wai" have been directed at me, but never by anyone in my husband's family.) I did worry about this at first because my husband is pretty much the "golden child" of his family (1st born son, 1st born grandson, etc.)
Yep! Born in Keelung, then moved to the US when he was 5. Now all his family lives in or around Taipei. There's a rumor his cousin in getting married and we're required to attend (also because none of that side of the family has met Li'l Z in person yet), so don't be surprised if another Halforumite is wandering around in search of Milk Magnet!Firstly, I had no idea your husband's Taiwanese, that's awesome.
So he has a large....personality?I think our pairing has a lot to do with my husband being the antithesis of every Asian male stereotype.
So he has a large....personality?
You're welcome.Thank you!.... I think?
That'd be very interesting indeed. A quick look at urban dictionary, however, seems to indicate that the only other prevalent use for the term is as shorthand for Georgetown, the capital of Guyana. I know next to nothing about either the city or the nation.No, the car comparison is fine. I just needed clarification that we were taking about the car, and this wasn't slang for something else I'd never heard of.
I agree. That's why having Jun getting her hair dyed was one of my demands for marriage.Redheads are the GT package of womanhood.
But red's supposed to be the luckiest color! Especially for a wedding! Tell her it's for the good of your marriage!I agree. That's why having Jun getting her hair dyed was one of my demands for marriage.
Haha, I'm kidding of course.
Sort of.
Oh its already been dyed and redyed. I just wish upkeep didn't cost a hundred bucks a pop.But red's supposed to be the luckiest color! Especially for a wedding! Tell her it's for the good of your marriage!
Eesh! That's ridiculous! I've read that red dyes are harder to keep up than other colors. When mine fades someday, I'm going to be unhappy camper.Oh its already been dyed and redyed. I just wish upkeep didn't cost a hundred bucks a pop.
Eesh! That's ridiculous! I've read that red dyes are harder to keep up than other colors. When mine fades someday, I'm going to be unhappy camper.
If you were using Nvidia cards as the comparison, GT would be merely "all right" instead. You'd have to say redheads are GTX standard.You're welcome.
I'm interpreting your hesitation as not being familiar with car option packages. The most common ones are usually some variant of EX, LX, and GT, meaning Economy, Luxury, and Sport/Racing variants of an automobile. The GT package would usually mean two door, more horses, power steering, better shocks, more performance and comfort tweaks, and most often, a spoiler. A car enthusiast would typically consider a GT package to be the best available stock package from a dealership. GT stands for "Gran Tourismo," or "Grand Touring" in Italian.
Or maybe I misinterpreted and you weren't sure if you liked being compared to an object, even if it is a nice one.
Well when your hair is black, you have to bleach it before you can dye it, which is part of the expense. My hair (which is natural red) is graying like a mofo, thankfully I can fix it with a $10 dye box and it doesn't look fake.
I refuse to make a simile based upon anything so inconstant and arbitrary as video card naming conventions.If you were using Nvidia cards as the comparison, GT would be merely "all right" instead. You'd have to say redheads are GTX standard.
Well, there are worse GTs out there that would've been a great insult to you and all redheads:No, the car comparison is fine. I just needed clarification that we were taking about the car, and this wasn't slang for something else I'd never heard of.
That's all you needed to say.Dragonball anything is a terrible.
Hey now, I liked DBZ.UUUUUGGgggghhhhhhhhh. See, that's why I worried GT might have another meaning.
That's all you needed to say.