[TV] Talk about the last TV you watched, the catchall thread

AshburnerX

AshburnerX

Frank said:
Why didn't future starfleet try to stop Janeway's obnoxious shattering of temporal law....oh that's right, future starfleet time cops are fucking stupid and make no sense.
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Basically, the only thing the Temporal Prime Directive cares about is ensuring the timeline in which the Federation, KDF, and New Romulus unite into a massive Federation in the future and in which the Temporal Accords are signed into law. Nothing else matters. So if nobody stopped Janeway from doing what she did, it's only because what she did ether helped make that timeline possible or had no effect on it.

Yes, it's a bullshit answer and it's one that the writers at the time didn't know about (because the Temporal Cold War wasn't a thing until Enterprise), but it's the "official" answer.
 
phil

phil

And that concludes season 1 of "Frank's red hot takes"

Join us for season two where Frank discusses the finer points, if any, of gene roddenberry's forgotten bastard: Andromeda
 
Frank

Frank

I. HATED. Andromeda.

I hated the cast, I hated the nonsensical setup, fuck Kevin Sorbo, fuck the God damn Nietzchians (or however the fuck you spell it) who are the laaaaaaamest sci-fi creation and lastly fuck Kevin Sorbo.

However, it's contemporary, Earth: Final Conflict, I tolerated and watched every Sunday.
 
Frank

Frank

I watched Earth 2 and Space Above and Beyond in their totality while they aired.

I never watched Lost, I did not care for it.
 
Gruebeard

Gruebeard

Wait. Why are you looking for the next thing for Frank to watch? We already found the perfect show for him to hate watch for our entertainment.
Frank said:
I. HATED. Andromeda.

I hated the cast, I hated the nonsensical setup, fuck Kevin Sorbo, fuck the God damn Nietzchians (or however the fuck you spell it) who are the laaaaaaamest sci-fi creation and lastly fuck Kevin Sorbo.
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This promises to be gold!
 
Frank

Frank

Oh, it's gonna take an hour to get the first season from UNDISCLOSED PRIVATE BIT TORRENT site.

Oh, I just checked my invites on that site, I'd forgotten Charlie was someone I'd given one to. He was last seen online half an hour ago, so, he's still alive.
 
evilmike

evilmike

Frank said:
I. HATED. Andromeda.

I hated the cast, I hated the nonsensical setup, fuck Kevin Sorbo, fuck the God damn Nietzchians (or however the fuck you spell it) who are the laaaaaaamest sci-fi creation and lastly fuck Kevin Sorbo.

However, it's contemporary, Earth: Final Conflict, I tolerated and watched every Sunday.
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Two series united by the fact that, regardless of their initial merits, they both just fell off of a cliff and hit hard before the end of their run.

PatrThom said:
Same. For all of it.

Well then maybe you can watch Special Unit 2...assuming you can find it streaming someplace, that is.

--Patrick
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It doesn't look like it is currently available, which is a shame because I remember it being a fun show.


Is the goal in all of this to find another series for @Frank to torture himself with? If so, it looks like the 1 season of SyFy's awful, awful Flash Gordon series is on Amazon Prime.
 
Frank

Frank

This post will be my running notes of my feelings of the episode.

Oh my God, the opening shot of Hercules plummeting down the ladder. Good fucking lord.

Nietzchians are the God damned fucking worst.

I forgot Gordon Michael Wolvett was on this show. The fucking scourge of Canadian kids and sci-fi TV.

12 minutes in and they're already reusing special effects shots.

Those dildo laser guns were a POOOOOOR choice. They look ridiculous and would be a pain in the ass to aim.

Nietzscheans' stupid arm spikes are just....just the dumbest shit. They would get snagged on fucking everything. The least perfect, perfect thing ever.

Here comes pimp daddy rat monster.

Ugh, having a character with open rashes constantly scratching themself. That just triggers my gag reflex so hard.

Oh, the dildo gun is also a Goku staff. Gross.

"The guy's like some sort of Greek god." HA HA HA HA HAH! HE'S HERCULES, REMEMBER!?

A civilization that spans three galaxies and it was destroyed by a sub-species of humanity? Holy fucking shit that's some thin garbage.

Hi, I'm the big buff emotionless black guy, a trope of 90's-2000's sci-fi. CAN'T MISS THIS BOAT.

And credits.

This show sucks.
 
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Frank

Frank

EPISODE 2.

LAST TIME, ON A WORLD WITH ANDROMEDA, ANDROMEDA!

This show suffers from Babylon 5 syndrome, special effects that were NEVER meant for HD.

Some random positives from me. I kind of dig the opening theme music. It has a real cheesy vibe to it that just clicks. Also, Lisa Ryder, the TERRIFIC actress of Captain Beka Valentine, is a local girl from right here in Edmontonchuck.

Ugh, that nietzscheans call their family groups prides is even grosser. I hate them so much.

She's a cyborg, to show this, we'll have her do slow breakdance fight moves while hilariously terrible hydraulic sound effects go off with every movement. Goooodoodododfjdfhjfhdfdfhjdfhjdfh.

Jesus, oh my goooosh, the jacking into the matrix sequence is rooough.

It only took two episodes for a nietzschean to quote Nietzche. I admire the fucking restraint.

What I said about the opening theme? Opposite that for the inshow music. It's all terrible midi quality synthesized orchestra. It's teeeerrible.

The six of us, we can fix the Commonwealth. The greatest adventure! DUuuuuuuuuuumb.

The second Nietzche quote. I'm literally going to have his entire written catalog quoted to me watching this shit aren't I?

Credits on episode 2. Only like 56000 more episodes to go. God I miss British season lengths.
 
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phil

phil

Fun fact: my wife and I spent like 3 minutes debating if the lady who played beka was the lady who played Starbuck because they look so alike to us the fact that BSG being like 10 years later was inconceivable
 
Frank

Frank

phil said:
Fun fact: my wife and I spent like 3 minutes debating if the lady who played beka was the lady who played Starbuck because they look so alike to us the fact that BSG being like 10 years later was inconceivable
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They do look alike. Tall, blonde, blue eyed, fit ladies.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Bubble181 said:
I honestly don't know if I've ever seen anything of Andromeda.
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I have.
They tried WAY too hard with their narrative. The Goku staff is a good analogy, because they just had SO many deus ex machinae and power creep show up that it eventually got tiresome.

—Patrick
 
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Gryfter

Gryfter

Frank said:
EPISODE 2.

LAST TIME, ON A WORLD WITH ANDROMEDA, ANDROMEDA!

.... I kind of dig the opening theme music. It has a real cheesy vibe to it that just clicks. ....
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That would be courtesy of mister Alex Lifeson if I remember correctly... it wasn't enough to get me to watch the show and I love all things Rush.
 
Gruebeard

Gruebeard

All this talk of Kevin Sorbo got me to start watching season 1 of Hercules.

There will be no hate watching fun from me. This show is better than I remember, and what's really weird is the first couple episodes feel kinda like episodes of Star Trek - Kirkules arrives in a strange place with strange problem - with fights choreographed by Adam West.
 
Covar

Covar

Gruebeard said:
All this talk of Kevin Sorbo got me to start watching season 1 of Hercules.

There will be no hate watching fun from me. This show is better than I remember, and what's really weird is the first couple episodes feel kinda like episodes of Star Trek - Kirkules arrives in a strange place with strange problem - with fights choreographed by Adam West.
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It’s a better Superman show than Smallville.
 
Frank

Frank

STRAP YOURSELVES IN FOR EPISODE 3!

This old station should have weapons for us to replenish the ship's stocks. It's only in the middle of cannibal infested war torn territory and it's been 300 hundred years. I'M SURE THERE'S LOTS OF SPARE WEAPONRY HANGING AROUND. The red flags should have dropped right here. You're the worst Nietzschean ever Tir.

The dildo gun is also a flashlight. Fucking smart phone of the future right there. What doesn't it do?

Kevin Sorbo's pants give him CONSTANT moose knuckle. I can see exactly where the seam bisects his testicles. It's very distracting. That uniform must've been terribly uncomfortable. In fact, everyone's outfits look terrible. Except Gordon Michael Wolvett's....because he just gets to wear t-shirts and 8000 years in the future Hawaiian shirts.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.....fucking children. Logan's Run/Peter Pan/whatever garbage. WHY?!

"Words of the past....passwords!" Thanks Adam West Batman writing staff.

For an army that armed fucking everything with star destroying weaponry by the God damn shipload, the high guard sure went down pretty easy to a SINGLE SUB-SPECIES of humanity.

Oh, God this shit is so lame.

"Fuck these traumatized kids, I'm out." Dylan Hunt, upon meeting any resistance.

FUCK THIS KID'S FACE IS SO ANNOYING. It's pure X-Pac heat. I literally have to skip his dialog scenes to keep my sanity.

I won't lie, I basically skipped through the end of this episode. Cheaper to have Andromeda just played by the actor, than have to spend money on the hologram stuff.

I was going to watch another one, but this was like having my nails peeled back.
 
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PatrThom

PatrThom

Gruebeard said:
All this talk of Kevin Sorbo got me to start watching season 1 of Hercules. [...] This show is better than I remember
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They did so much with so little (it’s a Raimi thing I guess), and until they started pushing the Christianity angle, much of the embedded commentary is still valid. The same applies to Xena.

—Patrick
 
Frank

Frank

Episode 4. Imagine I read that out loud like Eeyore.

Oh cool. Basketball. I'm sure in 8000 years, basketball will still be enjoyed by all. Except Nietzcheans, who only enjoy being pouty and lame and getting their arms snagged on their chainmail shirts.

And cold open with weaponfire incoming before opening credits. Voyager HEAVILY abused this trope too.

Holy moly, it's complete nonsense that these people would be working together.

OHHH, gross. They're already beginning with the ship being in love with him? Cheerist.

The writing on this show is really terrible.

I don't remember the CG being worse than Babylon 5, but I would kill for that low res Starfury animation after watching whatever the fuck I just watched.

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

This was a 20 minute TV episode stretched to 44 minutes. So much nothing.

And now errybody's friends again. BAzzzzzketbawwwl.
 
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AshburnerX

AshburnerX

PatrThom said:
They did so much with so little (it’s a Raimi thing I guess), and until they started pushing the Christianity angle, much of the embedded commentary is still valid. The same applies to Xena.

—Patrick
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Read "If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor" by Bruce Campbell. He talks a lot about working with the Raimis, especially on Evil Dead and Hercules/Xena. Basically, they re-used a lot of old tricks and terminology from Evil Dead to produce Hercules and Xena, while staying on budget. It's one of the reasons he was able to direct so well on the set; Sam Raimi was still using terminology from back in his indie days so the cast and crew were able to understand Bruce as well as Sam, generally.
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
AshburnerX said:
Read "If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor" by Bruce Campbell. He talks a lot about working with the Raimis, especially on Evil Dead and Hercules/Xena. Basically, they re-used a lot of old tricks and terminology from Evil Dead to produce Hercules and Xena, while staying on budget. It's one of the reasons he was able to direct so well on the set; Sam Raimi was still using terminology from back in his indie days so the cast and crew were able to understand Bruce as well as Sam, generally.
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The term "Vaso-glide" sticks with me to this day.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

Gruebeard said:
The music and the scenery shown after the opening credits . . . I keep expecting Frodo to pop up welcoming Gandalf to the Shire.
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There's a reason for that, you know. They were both filmed in NZ. There's a reason Kati refers to the series as taking place in "New Greeceland."
Al Chalk does the voiceover for the Herc and Xena intros, and Joe LoDuca does the music. Joe is practically from my hometown, and I missed several chances to meet him when I was still working in music in SE MI, dangit.

--Patrick
 
Frank

Frank

Oh good. Episode 5 is ALL about nietzscheans.

This shit is all nauseating. They have ZERO redeeming qualities. They're less useful to the galaxy at large than fucking magog are.

Guys, I don't want to sugarcoat this, I fuuuuucking looooooooath nietzscheans.

Are nietzscheans just ultra-lame versions of the clans from Battletech? They even have similar names.

A new Commonwealth will never exist with the nietzscheans, no matter what. It's impossible. Eject them all into space.

Episode 6. TIIIIIIIIME TRAVEL.

YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Where's the Federation time cops to put a space bullet in the back of this episode?

Only two theories of time? Fuck you. Either you can change the future or you can't? THIS IS DUMB EVEN FOR THIS SHOW.

Fuck Harper. Eject all these people into space.

Ahh, predestination. This is some Gargoyles shit.

These space battles man....woooooooooofff.

Now eject Trance into space.
 
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