[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

[evilmike]

Dishware damn others to save themselves.

Cuphead.

The Kobayashi Maru, just more blast-y.

 

[Null]

Dishware damn others to save themselves.

Cuphead

 

[bhamv3]

I mean yes, rescuing my abducted offspring is very important, but there's this guy who asked me to collect some baseball memorabilia for him, so I've decided to do that instead.

 

[Ravenpoe]

I mean yes, rescuing my abducted offspring is very important, but there's this guy who asked me to collect some baseball memorabilia for him, so I've decided to do that instead.

I would say Fallout 4, but rescuing your son is never important in that game.

 

[GasBandit]

Jumping Jeezus on a pogo stick, why won't these space lesbians just hook up already?!

 

[Bubble181]

Jumping Jeezus on a pogo stick, why won't these space lesbians just hook up already?!

Because they're too busy getting jumped by Jesus on a pogo stick?

More seriously, though, no idea, could be a hundred games or none of them. I always think space lesbians should hook up.

 

[GasBandit]

Because they're too busy getting jumped by Jesus on a pogo stick?

More seriously, though, no idea, could be a hundred games or none of them. I always think space lesbians should hook up.

It's a recent game, and trust me, anybody who has played it will know.

 

[grub]

Outer Worlds

 

[bhamv3]

I was gonna guess Mass Effect.

 

[GasBandit]

I was gonna guess Mass Effect.

The gun-shy lesbian romance in Outer Worlds makes Mass Effect look like the first 5 minutes of a porn movie.

GET ON WITH IT

 

[PatrThom]

GET ON WITH IT

“Ooo! That’s a naughty bum bum!”

—Patrick

 

[GasBandit]

“Ooo! That’s a naughty bum bum!”

—Patrick

 

[PatrThom]

...from practically the same scene, which is why I included it.

—Patrick

 

[chris]

As a Wii owner you only cared for the in game bonus and never finished the main game.

 

[bhamv3]

"I'm pretty sure I've romanced everyone on this spaceship, did I miss anyone?"

 

[Squidleybits]

"I'm pretty sure I've romanced everyone on this spaceship, did I miss anyone?"

Mass Effect 1, 2 and 3?

 

[GasBandit]

"I'm pretty sure I've romanced everyone on this spaceship, did I miss anyone?"

Also Saints Row 4... because it was parodying what Squidley said.

 

[bhamv3]

You're not trapped in a room with Shub-Niggurath's minions. Shub-Niggurath's minions are trapped in a room with you.

 

[mikerc]

You're not trapped in a room with Shub-Niggurath's minions. Shub-Niggurath's minions are trapped in a room with you.

Quake?

Why is everyone attacking me? Ooh, I bet I've got uranium buried under one of my farms!

 

[bhamv3]

These are three different games:

1. Escape a militia training camp by riding away on a wheeled children's toy while saying, "Vroom, vroom, vroom" out loud.

2. Dress up as a flamingo then fly off into the distance by flapping your arms.

3. Leave a nightclub by getting abducted by a UFO.

 

[chris]

These are three different games:

1. Escape a militia training camp by riding away on a wheeled children's toy while saying, "Vroom, vroom, vroom" out loud.

2. Dress up as a flamingo then fly off into the distance by flapping your arms.

3. Leave a nightclub by getting abducted by a UFO.

1. ?
2. Hitman
3. Prey ( The original one)

 

[bhamv3]

Hint: When I say "three different games" I am fudging the truth a bit.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

These are three different games:

1. Escape a militia training camp by riding away on a wheeled children's toy while saying, "Vroom, vroom, vroom" out loud.

2. Dress up as a flamingo then fly off into the distance by flapping your arms.

3. Leave a nightclub by getting abducted by a UFO.

Hitman, Hitman, and Hitman? (Instances that occur in the same series, bit in different titles. I don't know which ones.)

 

[chris]

Most likely

 

[bhamv3]

Hitman 1, Hitman 2, and Hitman 3. They've been combined into one game now, called Hitman: World of Assassination.

Specifically, these are easter egg exits that you can perform on certain levels: the children's toy is Colorado from Hitman 1, the flamingo exit is Miami from Hitman 2, and the UFO is Berlin from Hitman 3.