The EPIC WIN Thread 3: SON OF EPIC

ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Today has been absolutely spectacular so far and exactly what I needed after a kind of stressful week at the new job.

I got up at 5:30 AM (as I've been doing every day for a few weeks), biked out to Cranberry Lake, did yoga and meditated on my rock. I also just sat there and enjoyed the scene and contemplated things. How it's still mind blowing that it's about 2 months since my epiphany and I'm still not depressed. I think it's the longest I've gone without having any kind of down period.

Afterwards, I decided to hike a little further into the trail. I put my earbuds in and listened to...Disney music. No idea why I was in that mood, but I did. And since there was no one within sight (and hopefully earshot), I LOUDLY sang along to the likes of You're Welcome, Hakuna Matata, How Far I'll Go, I'll Make a Man Out of You, etc. Just belting it; even dancing around as I hiked over rocks. I felt so HAPPY.

Even better, I found an even bigger and flatter rock by the lake that I could practice yoga and meditate on. The hike to that point required stepping through thick mud, so I made a mental note to get hiking boots for next time.

As I biked back, I kept listening to Disney songs and kind of danced on my bike, swaying it back and forth (when no one was close enough to hit), singing or humming, and smiling or saying good morning to passing people.

Then I went to Value Village and, as luck would have it, I found a pair of hiking boots that fit.

Guess what I'm doing tomorrow morning? :D

And some pics (behind the spoiler for space):




 
Bubble181

Bubble181

Without wanting to be a downer (and, to be fair, without having read your blog posts, no time right now so it'll be later), I hope you're aware that this, too, shall pass. This doesn't mean you need to already be worrying and undermining your own happiness, but, like a government is better off making adjustments when the economy is good, this is a good time to look ahead and think of Future Nick. Are there things you can do now that might help him find his way back to normal (or happy) faster? Are there hobbies or things you know have caused you trouble before? It might be the time to break a habit you fall into easily when stressed. Etc etc.
You come off to me as more "in a really good place now" than "manic", which is a good thing - take advantage of it, enjoy it, and try to create memories you'll be able to look back on without second-guessing or regret.
Also, if you manage to do that, let me know how, and write a self-help book worth millions ;)
But I'm glad to see you're feeling good and that it has been stable do long.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Bubble181 said:
Without wanting to be a downer (and, to be fair, without having read your blog posts, no time right now so it'll be later), I hope you're aware that this, too, shall pass. This doesn't mean you need to already be worrying and undermining your own happiness, but, like a government is better off making adjustments when the economy is good, this is a good time to look ahead and think of Future Nick. Are there things you can do now that might help him find his way back to normal (or happy) faster? Are there hobbies or things you know have caused you trouble before? It might be the time to break a habit you fall into easily when stressed. Etc etc.
You come off to me as more "in a really good place now" than "manic", which is a good thing - take advantage of it, enjoy it, and try to create memories you'll be able to look back on without second-guessing or regret.
Also, if you manage to do that, let me know how, and write a self-help book worth millions ;)
But I'm glad to see you're feeling good and that it has been stable do long.
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That's my primary concern: that I'll fall back into another depression. I mean, last year seemed like the start of good things. I'd lost weight. I'd started the yoga teacher training. I don't know where or how I fell so bad to attempt suicide on New Year's.

But I recovered, somehow, as my recent posts and my blog entry attests to. I'm glad it doesn't come across as manic. Given my Bi-Polar II, that's another concern: that it's just a swing on the mental pendulum, but the other way.

But I don't know. Something about this feels different and I don't know why.

As far as unhealthy habits, I think I'm learning some. I feel odd saying this, but I don't think I'm happy spending time gaming anymore. I'm enjoying spending my time exercising or reading. Or working on some creative project like my YouTube series. Or even just discussing comics with people online. Positive conversations, not arguing with Comicsgate idiots, which I've been trying to avoid.

Actually, my biggest fear? That come Fall/Winter, I'll slip back into a depression because I can't go running or biking outside. I realized that this morning on my rock: I wouldn't be able to that during the winter. I REALLY enjoy exercising outside and learned I ESPECIALLY love doing yoga and meditating in the sun. I think I need to find some outdoor winter activities, but aside from skating, I've never really done much during the winter. Which I think has been part of my ongoing issues.
 
Gared

Gared

ThatNickGuy said:
Actually, my biggest fear? That come Fall/Winter, I'll slip back into a depression because I can't go running or biking outside. I realized that this morning on my rock: I wouldn't be able to that during the winter. I REALLY enjoy exercising outside and learned I ESPECIALLY love doing yoga and meditating in the sun. I think I need to find some outdoor winter activities, but aside from skating, I've never really done much during the winter. Which I think has been part of my ongoing issues.
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You could look into cross country skiing and snow shoeing. I've never been coordinated in any way, shape, or form, but even I could pull those off, and believe me when I say that sunrise over a pristine, snow covered mountain is every bit as beautiful as one over a lush, green mountain. Just dress in layers.
 
AshburnerX

AshburnerX

ThatNickGuy said:
That's my primary concern: that I'll fall back into another depression. I mean, last year seemed like the start of good things. I'd lost weight. I'd started the yoga teacher training. I don't know where or how I fell so bad to attempt suicide on New Year's.
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Life long depression sufferer here. Let me just say this: You will fall back into depression someday. Being depressed sometimes is part of life, even if some people choose to ignore the signs or play it off. But that's the thing; it's only SOMETIMES you'll be depressed and, as someone who has been through it and is moving out of a depressive period, you are better equipped and better able to identify your own personal foibles in regards to depression. That means you have the tools you need to fight your depressive episodes when and if they come back. Do not fear depression or make it into something bigger than it is; you've gotten through it once and can do so again.

Seriously; like 90% of the battle with depression is to get people motivated enough to actually do something about it and you clearly are. Keep that outlook and you're already better than most of the depressive people I know.

ThatNickGuy said:
Actually, my biggest fear? That come Fall/Winter, I'll slip back into a depression because I can't go running or biking outside. I realized that this morning on my rock: I wouldn't be able to that during the winter. I REALLY enjoy exercising outside and learned I ESPECIALLY love doing yoga and meditating in the sun. I think I need to find some outdoor winter activities, but aside from skating, I've never really done much during the winter. Which I think has been part of my ongoing issues.
Click to expand...
Find a local rec center or similar facility with an indoor track. Alternatively, look into some other winter activities; for example, I'm a big fan of winter hiking. It's good cardio if you've got a big state park near where you live.
 
Cheesy1

Cheesy1

Exactly what @AshburnerX said. Recognizing that you're entering a depressive state again and understanding it for what it is will help immensely towards getting through it. It won't hurt any less, but it'll help you trudge through it until you can see some light again.
 
Cajungal

Cajungal

Staff member
HCGLNS said:
Bought some pudding snacks and when I hid them in my hiding spot I found a fresh bag of cookies that I forgot about.
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Nice. I found an old blueberry muffin in my car while looking for an umbrella. I want to be more like you when I grow up.
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

I somehow stumbled into having two dates this weekend with two different girls. Both from Bumble (a less sketchier version of Tinder).

First girl, last night: Really nice Urkranian girl. Soft spoken to the point she's a walking AMSR (in a good way). We talked mostly about writing, as she's working on her first prose novel. She writes almost primarily poetry, so her prose is...well, it needs a lot of work. Which I was polite about and she admitted it herself. She was nice and I might be interested in seeing her again. At least...I was...until...

Second girl, today: Wow. Just...wow. We hit it off almost instantly. We sat for an hour at the coffee shop just talking about anything. Then went for a walk and kept talking. It's like we couldn't run out of things to talk about. She's nerdy, starting to get into comics, enjoys a healthy lifestyle (hiking, nutrition, etc). She has kind of this reserved confidence, which I found very attractive. And given the kiss at the end, and talk of seeing each other soon, I'd say the feeling is mutual. :D
 
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