The Random Crap Thread 2: It Hits the Fan.

PatrThom

PatrThom

Last week our son changed his group chat name from <fname> "<nickname>" <lname> to <fname> "Big Dork Boy" <lname>.
(Wife and I): "BWAAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAAH"
Son: "...what?"
Me: "See, I know you were trying to say 'Look, everyone! I am a huge nerd!' but what you actually ended up saying was 'Look, everyone! I have an enormous penis!'"
Son: <color drains from face>
Son: <Immediately changes group chat name>

--Patrick
 
HCGLNS

HCGLNS

In Canada, to claim a prize from a contest or lottery, you must answer a skill testing question, as games of pure chance are outlawed. It's normally a simple math question like 12+8-10= ?

Would the world be better if you had to answer a skill testing question before posting on social media?

10
 
mikerc

mikerc

HCGLNS said:
In Canada, to claim a prize from a contest or lottery, you must answer a skill testing question, as games of pure chance are outlawed. It's normally a simple math question like 12+8-10= ?

Would the world be better if you had to answer a skill testing question before posting on social media?

10
Click to expand...
I was so good at answering the skill testing question. So good. The people that did the testing said they'd never seen someone answer so quickly, it was so impressive.

Not like that other guy. Lots of fine people are saying that he didn't actually answer his question. They faked it for him. Can you believe it? They faked it. He shouldn't be allowed on social media and people let me tell you that once I'm done he won't be.

All those people that faked their question - and there's a lot of them, it's a conspiracy - I'll get rid of all of them it'll just be the best people in here. The best people.
 
chris

chris

mikerc said:
I was so good at answering the skill testing question. So good. The people that did the testing said they'd never seen someone answer so quickly, it was so impressive.

Not like that other guy. Lots of fine people are saying that he didn't actually answer his question. They faked it for him. Can you believe it? They faked it. He shouldn't be allowed on social media and people let me tell you that once I'm done he won't be.

All those people that faked their question - and there's a lot of them, it's a conspiracy - I'll get rid of all of them it'll just be the best people in here. The best people.
Click to expand...
Oh god. Halfway in, I start reading it in his voice.
 
Celt Z

Celt Z

Like all religions, the rules are really important until someone decides they're inconvenient, and then suddenly, they're not!
 
Dirona

Dirona

Celt Z said:
Look, what you and Gas do with his squirrel in church is between you two and God, and I'm pretty sure God is going to have some major regrets.
Click to expand...
The day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self-Righteous Church
In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula
It was a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumpin pews and shouting Hallelujah!
 
Tress

Tress

One of my high school freshman asked me if adults have dreams. Naturally I thought she was talking about aspirations, plans, etc. Like, do I hope to one day travel to Ireland? Or do I dream of being financially well-off when I retire, so I can do whatever I want?

Nope! She actually meant literal dreams.
At night.
She thought at some point adults just... fall into a black void of uneventful sleep every night.

:facepalm:
 
ThatNickGuy

ThatNickGuy

Tress said:
One of my high school freshman asked me if adults have dreams. Naturally I thought she was talking about aspirations, plans, etc. Like, do I hope to one day travel to Ireland? Or do I dream of being financially well-off when I retire, so I can do whatever I want?

Nope! She actually meant literal dreams.
At night.
She thought at some point adults just... fall into a black void of uneventful sleep every night.

:facepalm:
Click to expand...
Apparently, you dream less as you get older. Or at least remember dreams. We still dream, of course, but not nearly as often as when we're younger.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Tress said:
One of my high school freshman asked me if adults have dreams. Naturally I thought she was talking about aspirations, plans, etc. Like, do I hope to one day travel to Ireland? Or do I dream of being financially well-off when I retire, so I can do whatever I want?

Nope! She actually meant literal dreams.
At night.
She thought at some point adults just... fall into a black void of uneventful sleep every night.

:facepalm:
Click to expand...
Nah, we just do that during the day
 
Frank

Frank

ThatNickGuy said:
Hi, I'm Nick, here is my resume. I'm auditioning for the role of Rick & Morty. For my monologue, I'm going to recreate a scene from one of my favourite films.

*turns around, bends over, looks over shoulder, mildly shocked, a little turned on*

Oh! What are you doing, STEP BRO?"
Click to expand...
That would actually work if Roiland still worked there.
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

For those wondering, Ki-Adi-Mundi was given special dispensation to marry and have children because his species has a dangerously low population. So it's not that you need to be rich and famous to bend the Jedi rules, it's more that you need to be critically endangered.
 
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