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Since we should stop derailing the introduction thread, here we are.

Also, you'll all prove useful on the ranch in some capacity.

Me and my friends at the Toronto Zombie Walk
2007:

2008:


2009:

2010:

2011:

Don't laugh, but I'm always afraid to do zombie walks. I'm afraid some retards going to think it's the end of the world and start shooting people in the head.

Obligatory: here's me and Little Bunny Foo Foo a few Halloweens ago. It was hella fun watching the girls at that party who decided to dress up as "slutty nurse/cop/cheerleader/etc." get drunk and give me the "not sure if afraid" side eye when I vacantly stared at them and began shuffling around.

I just realized that no pics of Bananahands and I were taken last year when we partied together on Halloween, which is too bad; while they weren't zombie-specific, I would have loved to blow your minds with some Marilyn Monroe/Phantom of the Opera goodness.

Here's a pic of me from 2007. I was an Aberzombie and Fitch model.

Mathias said:

Don't laugh, but I'm always afraid to do zombie walks. I'm afraid some retards going to think it's the end of the world and start shooting people in the head.

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That's a legitimate concern. Especially in the States, where it's much easier to get a gun.

checkeredhat said:

That's a legitimate concern. Especially in the States, where it's much easier to get a gun.

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There just aren't as many guns around here. I mean it's the city, so most of the guns that are around are being illegally carried.
But should an ACTUAL Zombie apocalypse happen, Canada's screwed. And ignore the "Head North to Canada" thing. You'll have to travel through the 80% of our population that lives right along the US border, which didn't have the means to defend themselves, before you get to the less densely populated areas. It'll be a wall of 26 million undead.

I have stocked up on Nerf weapons. This year when its time for the Humans vs. Zombie battle in the bark, I'll be prepared!

Canadians are immune to becoming zombies, it's a beneficial side effect of the gene that allows us to enjoy curling.

and y u crowdin us?

Random Trivia.

What was the first Zombie film?

White Zombie is the official answer, right? Though I'd kind of make an arguement for The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

Right, I watched a documentary on Zombies the other day and they started with George Romero...

They must have been going by the 'monster' zombie and not the first use of the word, which basically meant a person that was mind controlled or something.

You goddamn Canadians screwing up my plan to go north in a zombie apocalypse.

sixpackshaker said:

Right, I watched a documentary on Zombies the other day and they started with George Romero...

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Funny thing is, Romero never even used the word zombie. He called them ghouls. Which is a hell of a lot closer to what they actually are, compared to the definition of zombie at the time.

The girl in White Zombie died, and came back. The male lead just had his mind controlled.

BananaHands said:

You goddamn Canadians screwing up my plan to go north in a zombie apocalypse.

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Just don't be stupid and go up through Ontario or British Columbia (lots of big population centers near the border). Also, there are LOTS of guns in Canada... we are reasonably high on the per capita index I believe.

If you go through Saskatchewan... watch out for zombie doomweasels.

Azurephoenix said:

Just don't be stupid and go up through Ontario or British Columbia (lots of big population centers near the border). Also, there are LOTS of guns in Canada... we are reasonably high on the per capita index I believe.

If you go through Saskatchewan... watch out for zombie doomweasels.

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Azurephoenix said:

If you go through Saskatchewan... watch out for zombie doomweasels.

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Global warming's kinda put a damper on any zombie plans that involve going so far north you get zombie popsicles. At best I intended to fortify the two entrances to my apartment building and wait for cavalry to arrive.

Now, with my health and basically living within spitting distance of a major urban hospital, I think I might as well as baste myself with BBQ sauce and serve lunch

Citing wikipedia like a PRO!

I used to have a zombie apocalypse contingency plan but now it's basically:

1) Roll eyes.
2) Mutter curses to self.
3) Kill self.

In no particular order.

The problem with most zombie survival plans is EVERYBODY and their mother will be following the same foolproof plan you've thought up. Okay, let's say you get a cabin in the woods. You might even keep it stocked with months of supplies and ammunition. I can guarantee that, in the event of a zombie outbreak, that place is going to be ransacked by desperate survivors within days.

Gusto said:

I used to have a zombie apocalypse contingency plan but now it's basically:
3) Kill self.
2) Mutter curses to self.
1) Roll eyes.
...
0.) BRRRrrraaaaiiiiinssss

In no particular order.

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fixed for the apocalypse.

IronBrig4 said:

The problem with most zombie survival plans is EVERYBODY and their mother will be following the same foolproof plan you've thought up. Okay, let's say you get a cabin in the woods. You might even keep it stocked with months of supplies and ammunition. I can guarantee that, in the event of a zombie outbreak, that place is going to be ransacked by desperate survivors within days.

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I think you overestimate the number of people planning for something like this.

IronBrig4 said:

The problem with most zombie survival plans is EVERYBODY and their mother will be following the same foolproof plan you've thought up. Okay, let's say you get a cabin in the woods. You might even keep it stocked with months of supplies and ammunition. I can guarantee that, in the event of a zombie outbreak, that place is going to be ransacked by desperate survivors within days.

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The minefield should keep nosy looters out.

Or capable of implementing such a plan were the ridiculously improbable event to occur.

My zombie plan involves stealing an earthmover/bulldozer from the construction site down the hill from where I live. Then I'd use a loudspeaker to lure all the zombies out into the street, raise the blade to about head height, and drive forward, then reverse back over to make sure.

But in all honesty, I'd probably wind up zombie chow before I even knew there was a problem.

I'll just be on the ranch.

SeraRelm said:

I'll just be on the ranch.

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I wonder if zombies can be taught to play the Harmonica...

I'll probably wind up on Sera's ranch too. Not by my own design, mind you, but as a souless, mindless moving mass of mobile meat.

ALLITERATION X5 COMBO

Cheesy1 said:

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How did you get a picture of my zombie doomweasel? I wasn't going to unleash him from the lab until December!

Emrys said:

How did you get a picture of my zombie doomweasel? I wasn't going to unleash him from the lab until December!

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Awww, you remembered my birthday!

checkeredhat said:

Awww, you remembered my birthday!

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I'll wrap him up and send him to you. Now, what's your address?

My zombie plan is to realize that zombies are fictional creatures.

The joke among my friends is that I'll be the first one to die in a zombie apocalypse. I know which weapons to use, how to survive in the wilderness, and where to go for relative safety. I've got the Zombie Survival Guide and have enough leadership experience to keep a group together. But my friends are genre savvy and know that, since everything goes wrong during a zombie outbreak, I'll probably get bit before anybody knows there's an outbreak. It will be something very anti-climactic, like I'm answering the door to get a pizza and the first zombie bites me.

IronBrig4 said:

The joke among my friends is that I'll be the first one to die in a zombie apocalypse. I know which weapons to use, how to survive in the wilderness, and where to go for relative safety. I've got the Zombie Survival Guide and have enough leadership experience to keep a group together. But my friends are genre savvy and know that, since everything goes wrong during a zombie outbreak, I'll probably get bit before anybody knows there's an outbreak. It will be something very anti-climactic, like I'm answering the door to get a pizza and the first zombie bites me.

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Or it could be something totally awesome, like giving a badass speech and then being eaten by a zombified Hulk Hogan.



Essentially this, with you as Samuel L. Jackson and the shark replaced with a big-ass zombie.

So...this is happening.

People afflicted become horribly, deathly allergic to all red meat.
Well...ok, not all red meat. They become allergic to all red meat except for meat which comes from (of all things)...primates.

I think you can see where this is going.

--Patrick

fade said:

My zombie plan is to realize that zombies are fictional creatures.

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Every party has a pooper, That's why we invited you,
party pooper, party pooper
Every party has a pooper that's why we invited you
faaaaade, faaaaaaade

checkeredhat said:

Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you
That's why we invited you, party pooper, party pooper
Every party has a pooper that's why we invited you
faaaaade, faaaaaaade
View attachment 6932

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Oh god the lolling....

Considering my current limitations, namely the daily need for medical assistance, my only hope is that someone in my country's hierarchy has studied the Redeker Plan and established by hometown as a safe zone.

Otherwise, I'm toast. Sweet, bacon-flavoured toast.