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[Venting] Would You Get Back With Your Ex?
#1
Jiarn
Jiarn
Would you? If so, what reasons and what circumstances would it take for such an impossibility to take place? I'm currently in a strange situation. The mother of my kids, whom I haven't really spoken with much outside of the occasional passing of the children, due to them living with me full-time. I found myself single recently, well going on about 5 months, and had a sit down meeting with her to speak on a serious issue with our son. I had a few drinks, so did she, to deal with the night, both for the subject matter, and the fact that being around her never really sat well with me as we did NOT split on good terms back then.
Well a supposed 2hr conversation at a restaurant ended up 4hrs, and then 2 more hours at a pool hall and more drinks. Once the serious conversation was over, we got to talking about our own relationship past and how things fell apart. Surprisingly she cried and lost her cool halfway through and had to excuse herself outside for a cigarette. This happened at the restaurant, just fyi. From there we sat outside and talked some more, to which she confessed that even though she had always said she'd love me, just not be IN love with me, she thought she was over me, until that point. That news kind of struck me in an odd way because at that point, I looked at her and saw a bit of what I fell in love with when I was much younger.
When we got to the pool hall, and drinks continued, we just kept talking about the past, both good and bad. Lots of laughs were had, alot of innuendo was made and an actual good time was the overall event. On my way to drop her off, as hse lived about 15minutes from the hall, I realized that there was no way I was going to make it home if I drove, since I live 2 hours away from her. She offers to help me get to a phonebook so I can call some local hotels, as she can't invite me to stay at her place as she's a co-roomate/renter and they have agreements on people staying over without notice.
We end up at an ex-roomate's house that she still had the key for, and while she searched for a phonebook, I took that opportunity to lay on the couch and regain my bearings as I was slightly dizzy. She comes over to the couch, lays on the floor and places her head on my stomach. I don't know if it was the drinks, though I doubt it due to my high tolerance, but I began talking to her sweetly and stroking her hair as if we were teenagers all over again. She let me and talked back to me in the smae way. We both apologized to each other for the wrongs we had done each other and said that we hoped things would improve from here on. Nothing more was really said and I headed down stairs to get the car.
Since we never got the phone book, I assured her I would take her home and just drive very slowly to the first motel I'd find. We get to her parking lots, exchangethank yous for the good time and shock and awe that we DID have a good time together. Then, really without any kind of intention, we kissed sweetly. Not exactly tongue throttling making out but a kiss that sent electric waves down my spine. She looked at me with the same kind of shock that I knew I must have been looking at her and just smiled with a good night.
Phew, what a mouthful. Still reading? Thanks for putting up with all that, but backstory was necessary I think.
I pass out a motel about an hour away, wake up and ask her if she wants to have lunch since I didn't have to head home till the evening and she didn't have to work till 5pm. Sadly here's where things go downhill. She immediately says that we should focus on being friends and nothing more because things could rush too fast and end up in a bad situation, that being a horrible thing for both the kids and the two of us. I have to admit, I was surprisingly crushed.
Ask me 3 months ago if I would have cared if she didn't want to try a relationship with me and I would have laughed in your face. I drove home those 2 hours trying to rationalize every reason why being with her again would be the biggest mistake of my life. I accepted it and moved on. Three days later I get an email from her saying that she's scared, confused and in total bewilderment. She can't get me out of her mind, she can't stop thinking about our night together, she can't stop thinking about how wonderful it would be if we were able to manage the impossible and get back together as a whole family.
Naturally I'm completely shocked, again. She did say she hoped I wasn't thinking she was trying to screw with my mind with her 180s, but she was very very scared of opening up again. Neither one of us really opened up to anyone after our split. She had even gotten remarried for 3 years and that just never worked out. I was in a long term relationship that never felt really emotional and mostly physical. So now here I sit. She's making plans to come visit me this time, for 2 days to see if things do have a chance. As we spent the last get together reminising about old times and not really alot about our current lives and our paths in the future. Me? I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.
She emailed me some pictures as I did to her and I can't stop just gawking at them. I've dated a few girls since my ex, and ended every one of them because there was no strong feelings in it. I'm getting strong feelings just looking at the pictures. I know nostalgia has alot to do with it, but we weren't exactly HAPPY TIMES all the time back then. Why am I even posting all this dirty laundry? Because opinions and advice are very much appreciated. I've spoken with family members, friends, and all sorts and the advice has varied so greatly. The larger voice of the forums is welcome and I look forward to what is to be said.
My plan for this whole situation is thus: Take things very very slowly. Continue talking/texting her on a daily basis and take this next meet up with caution. Talk very openly and truthfully about my life and ask her very openly and bluntly about hers. Honestly weigh the decisions in my head about whether things would be better or worse for everyone involved. Do my best not to let past feelings cloud possibly current ones. Most of all, not let the kids know a THING about it till anything does solidify.
Also, if you couldn't stomach reading my entire BOOK that I wrote, please feel free to simply answer the poll and question and move on.
Well a supposed 2hr conversation at a restaurant ended up 4hrs, and then 2 more hours at a pool hall and more drinks. Once the serious conversation was over, we got to talking about our own relationship past and how things fell apart. Surprisingly she cried and lost her cool halfway through and had to excuse herself outside for a cigarette. This happened at the restaurant, just fyi. From there we sat outside and talked some more, to which she confessed that even though she had always said she'd love me, just not be IN love with me, she thought she was over me, until that point. That news kind of struck me in an odd way because at that point, I looked at her and saw a bit of what I fell in love with when I was much younger.
When we got to the pool hall, and drinks continued, we just kept talking about the past, both good and bad. Lots of laughs were had, alot of innuendo was made and an actual good time was the overall event. On my way to drop her off, as hse lived about 15minutes from the hall, I realized that there was no way I was going to make it home if I drove, since I live 2 hours away from her. She offers to help me get to a phonebook so I can call some local hotels, as she can't invite me to stay at her place as she's a co-roomate/renter and they have agreements on people staying over without notice.
We end up at an ex-roomate's house that she still had the key for, and while she searched for a phonebook, I took that opportunity to lay on the couch and regain my bearings as I was slightly dizzy. She comes over to the couch, lays on the floor and places her head on my stomach. I don't know if it was the drinks, though I doubt it due to my high tolerance, but I began talking to her sweetly and stroking her hair as if we were teenagers all over again. She let me and talked back to me in the smae way. We both apologized to each other for the wrongs we had done each other and said that we hoped things would improve from here on. Nothing more was really said and I headed down stairs to get the car.
Since we never got the phone book, I assured her I would take her home and just drive very slowly to the first motel I'd find. We get to her parking lots, exchangethank yous for the good time and shock and awe that we DID have a good time together. Then, really without any kind of intention, we kissed sweetly. Not exactly tongue throttling making out but a kiss that sent electric waves down my spine. She looked at me with the same kind of shock that I knew I must have been looking at her and just smiled with a good night.
Phew, what a mouthful. Still reading? Thanks for putting up with all that, but backstory was necessary I think.
I pass out a motel about an hour away, wake up and ask her if she wants to have lunch since I didn't have to head home till the evening and she didn't have to work till 5pm. Sadly here's where things go downhill. She immediately says that we should focus on being friends and nothing more because things could rush too fast and end up in a bad situation, that being a horrible thing for both the kids and the two of us. I have to admit, I was surprisingly crushed.
Ask me 3 months ago if I would have cared if she didn't want to try a relationship with me and I would have laughed in your face. I drove home those 2 hours trying to rationalize every reason why being with her again would be the biggest mistake of my life. I accepted it and moved on. Three days later I get an email from her saying that she's scared, confused and in total bewilderment. She can't get me out of her mind, she can't stop thinking about our night together, she can't stop thinking about how wonderful it would be if we were able to manage the impossible and get back together as a whole family.
Naturally I'm completely shocked, again. She did say she hoped I wasn't thinking she was trying to screw with my mind with her 180s, but she was very very scared of opening up again. Neither one of us really opened up to anyone after our split. She had even gotten remarried for 3 years and that just never worked out. I was in a long term relationship that never felt really emotional and mostly physical. So now here I sit. She's making plans to come visit me this time, for 2 days to see if things do have a chance. As we spent the last get together reminising about old times and not really alot about our current lives and our paths in the future. Me? I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.
She emailed me some pictures as I did to her and I can't stop just gawking at them. I've dated a few girls since my ex, and ended every one of them because there was no strong feelings in it. I'm getting strong feelings just looking at the pictures. I know nostalgia has alot to do with it, but we weren't exactly HAPPY TIMES all the time back then. Why am I even posting all this dirty laundry? Because opinions and advice are very much appreciated. I've spoken with family members, friends, and all sorts and the advice has varied so greatly. The larger voice of the forums is welcome and I look forward to what is to be said.
My plan for this whole situation is thus: Take things very very slowly. Continue talking/texting her on a daily basis and take this next meet up with caution. Talk very openly and truthfully about my life and ask her very openly and bluntly about hers. Honestly weigh the decisions in my head about whether things would be better or worse for everyone involved. Do my best not to let past feelings cloud possibly current ones. Most of all, not let the kids know a THING about it till anything does solidify.
Also, if you couldn't stomach reading my entire BOOK that I wrote, please feel free to simply answer the poll and question and move on.
#2
IronBrig4
IronBrig4
Speaking as somebody who has very little experience with relationships, I'm not sure I can offer any useful advice. But if you want to talk that's what we're here for. Venting is very therapeutic. ^_^
#3
Cheesy1
Cheesy1
Be wary. I know exactly how strong old feelings for an ex can overwhelm you. I tried to start something again with my high school sweetheart last summer, absolutely convinced that she and I had changed for the better. Ended up being an eye-opening and heartbreaking experience. In the end we're still able to be friends, but we both realized that any possibility of romance again was gone for good.
I say stay friends for now and REALLY see if things have changed. I honestly hope for you that they have, because I'm a sucker for a happy ending. But again, talking from personal experience, you might want to be careful that you don't let old feelings get you hurt again.
I say stay friends for now and REALLY see if things have changed. I honestly hope for you that they have, because I'm a sucker for a happy ending. But again, talking from personal experience, you might want to be careful that you don't let old feelings get you hurt again.
#4
Cajungal
Cajungal
Man... if y'all have kids together, it would be wonderful if y'all could make it work. But you'd have to do it right and be in it for the long haul or else they would be crushed. Even though I'm usually the first to criticize women for that sort of wacky behavior, I can definitely see where she is coming from. I've pulled those kinds of "180s" at my most emotional times with my boyfriend. We never broke up before, but about a year into it, we went through an extremely rough patch that was difficult to get through. Details aside, let's just say I went from being warm and loving one minute to distant and scared the next, and I hated myself for doing that to him every second of it.
Y'all have a far different connection than just a couple of people who were in love. You have children. Being together means more than just being together--it means being partners in a family unit again. I don't know what challenges exactly that y'all might face by trying again. Taking it very slow like you mentioned would be the best way to go about it. It's good that you don't want to get the kids' hopes up about a reunion if there isn't going to be one. I'm being pretty vague I guess, but I don't know you or the situation well enough to say yes or no for sure. Just be careful and try to be realistic, even if the thought of being together again excites you. Excitement eventually goes away, as I'm sure you already know very well. If you're prepared for the reality to follow, that's what will keep y'all together.
I've thought about it, and if the fella and I had kids and split and then later thought it could work again, I would absolutely try to. But I'd have to have a very strong feeling that it could be a healthy relationship again. I know that children in separated families don't necessarily have it worse off, but it sure would be nice. If you can have a healthy and happy family unit again, wonderful. It sounds like you have the right idea--giving it lots of time and not rushing. Just remember, no matter how good it seems, that you want to take it slow.
I sincerely hope for whatever is best for you and your children.
Y'all have a far different connection than just a couple of people who were in love. You have children. Being together means more than just being together--it means being partners in a family unit again. I don't know what challenges exactly that y'all might face by trying again. Taking it very slow like you mentioned would be the best way to go about it. It's good that you don't want to get the kids' hopes up about a reunion if there isn't going to be one. I'm being pretty vague I guess, but I don't know you or the situation well enough to say yes or no for sure. Just be careful and try to be realistic, even if the thought of being together again excites you. Excitement eventually goes away, as I'm sure you already know very well. If you're prepared for the reality to follow, that's what will keep y'all together.
I've thought about it, and if the fella and I had kids and split and then later thought it could work again, I would absolutely try to. But I'd have to have a very strong feeling that it could be a healthy relationship again. I know that children in separated families don't necessarily have it worse off, but it sure would be nice. If you can have a healthy and happy family unit again, wonderful. It sounds like you have the right idea--giving it lots of time and not rushing. Just remember, no matter how good it seems, that you want to take it slow.
I sincerely hope for whatever is best for you and your children.
#5
Jiarn
Jiarn
Couple things to note. We were one of the many teenage pregnancy, whooshed marriage and just as fast crash and burn time of relationships back then. Our marriage lasted 4 years, with one 2 month split up during.
The time we've been divorced and estranged is almost 8 years.
Some good things are:
The big factors that led to our relationship falling apart are well past us both. The root causes of alot of our problems have either gone away completely or we've grown out of. From the bit we gathered from each other recently, there would be new hurdles to overcome, but nothing deal breaking like we had before.
Hope that helps with some of the reading/advice. Thank you very much Cajungal, sadly some of the people I've spoken with are telling me I'm being a complete putz for it but I can't deny what's there and what possibilities could come from this. It's just too, worth it, to not at least try. Thanks for being an ear Ironbrig4 and thanks Cheesy for the personal experience advice.
The time we've been divorced and estranged is almost 8 years.
Some good things are:
The big factors that led to our relationship falling apart are well past us both. The root causes of alot of our problems have either gone away completely or we've grown out of. From the bit we gathered from each other recently, there would be new hurdles to overcome, but nothing deal breaking like we had before.
Hope that helps with some of the reading/advice. Thank you very much Cajungal, sadly some of the people I've spoken with are telling me I'm being a complete putz for it but I can't deny what's there and what possibilities could come from this. It's just too, worth it, to not at least try. Thanks for being an ear Ironbrig4 and thanks Cheesy for the personal experience advice.
#6
phil
phil
What has changed in YOU and what has changed in HER so that if you were to get together, things would be different enough to work?
I'll use me and my ex as an example.
We both still live far away from one another. We both still have different views on marriage. We both still define a successful future for ourselves differently.
Because those things have not changed about us, getting back together would not be a good idea. We would find ourselves with the same problems as before.
I'll use me and my ex as an example.
We both still live far away from one another. We both still have different views on marriage. We both still define a successful future for ourselves differently.
Because those things have not changed about us, getting back together would not be a good idea. We would find ourselves with the same problems as before.
#7
Cajungal
Cajungal
Ahhh, that's rough. Well, then pretty much gonna add on to what Phil says. If you think that your values and goals are similar now, that will probably make the chances more favorable of this working. In some ways people change a lot over that much time... and not at all in some other ways. I guess you'll know better than us if the changes and similarities are enough to make it work.
#8
CincyGuy
CincyGuy
My ex-wife? No way. My ex-girlfriend? Yeah I would, and that's actually a strong possibility. (Yes the girlfriend came AFTER the wife....for those keeping score.)
But each case is different...you'll probably get a wide variety of opinions.
But each case is different...you'll probably get a wide variety of opinions.
#9
Wasabi Poptart
Wasabi Poptart
You've been single for 5 months. I don't see any mention of her seeing anyone. There is the possibility that you both are lonely and are looking for some companionship. Here is this familiar person, someone you once shared hopes and dreams with, suddenly back in arm's reach. It's easy to fall back on that person who knows you so well when you need some comfort and love.
You say things did not end well when you were married. Is this something that could have possibly changed now that you're both older and have more of life under your belts? Do you think things could crash and burn as badly as they did before?
I think you are right to keep this from your kids until you both figure out where this is all going. They could be very hurt if you guys got back together only to split up again after a short time.
Myself personally? It would depend on the ex. With 90% of them I wouldn't even bother. For the most part, they drove me up a wall enough when we were together for me to call it quits. Except one. If I was single again and he was also single, I would probably close my eyes, hold my breath, and take a huge leap of faith. But we're both married to other people and I don't see either of those relationships ending any time soon (thankfully, since I kinda like my husband just a bit) nor would I wish it.
You say things did not end well when you were married. Is this something that could have possibly changed now that you're both older and have more of life under your belts? Do you think things could crash and burn as badly as they did before?
I think you are right to keep this from your kids until you both figure out where this is all going. They could be very hurt if you guys got back together only to split up again after a short time.
Myself personally? It would depend on the ex. With 90% of them I wouldn't even bother. For the most part, they drove me up a wall enough when we were together for me to call it quits. Except one. If I was single again and he was also single, I would probably close my eyes, hold my breath, and take a huge leap of faith. But we're both married to other people and I don't see either of those relationships ending any time soon (thankfully, since I kinda like my husband just a bit) nor would I wish it.
#10
FnordBear
FnordBear
Considering that after we got divorced my ex started making some pretty horrid accusations about me that almost landed her in court, then she went and got herself knocked-up and homeless and disowned by her family. No. I wouldn't ever take that train wreck back.
#11
sixpackshaker
sixpackshaker
Just have a couple of trysts in a cheap motel...
Don't try to work things through and never be really sweet to each other in front of the kids. If you guys can really work things out good. But don't let the kids know, unless you two think things will work for the long run.
Look at it like you would dating a single mother (I've done that enough times.) I tell the ladies that I am interested in that I'll try not to get close to their kids unless things are looking good for the two of us first. But the downside is that they don't understand why I don't try to get to her heart through her kids... DON'T LET THE KIDS BE PAWNS IN ALL OF THIS. If you could articulate that situation well first (better than I do anyway.) It could give you two time to figure out if what you had is worth dredging up again.
Either way this turns out, I wish you luck and happiness.
Don't try to work things through and never be really sweet to each other in front of the kids. If you guys can really work things out good. But don't let the kids know, unless you two think things will work for the long run.
Look at it like you would dating a single mother (I've done that enough times.) I tell the ladies that I am interested in that I'll try not to get close to their kids unless things are looking good for the two of us first. But the downside is that they don't understand why I don't try to get to her heart through her kids... DON'T LET THE KIDS BE PAWNS IN ALL OF THIS. If you could articulate that situation well first (better than I do anyway.) It could give you two time to figure out if what you had is worth dredging up again.
Either way this turns out, I wish you luck and happiness.
#12
David
David
Honestly? I think all it would take is her telling me she wanted me back. I'd jump at it.
...though there's a lot of women who I'd say that about. Women who, logically, I know a relationship with is the last thing I should do, but I keep having crushes on.
...though there's a lot of women who I'd say that about. Women who, logically, I know a relationship with is the last thing I should do, but I keep having crushes on.
#13
Matt²
Matt²
I would get back with ex 1 if : she could prove to me that the 14 personalities have been all merged back into 1 and she's not psychotic.
I would get back with ex 2 if: she agreed to even the possibility of adopting.
I would get back with ex 2 if: she agreed to even the possibility of adopting.
#14
Chazwozel
8 years is a long time and remember, you're not the same people you were as teenagers or 20somethings. That's a huge part in a person's life where they begin to evaluate who they are and what they want to do. Ideals and mindsets change a lot during those years. I say you should give it a shot, maybe you two have grown individually in different directions enough that what drove you apart to begin doesn't matter anymore. If things do work out, I'm sure your kids would love it.
---------- Post added at 11:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:21 AM ----------
This is 100% correct.
Chazwozel
Couple things to note. We were one of the many teenage pregnancy, whooshed marriage and just as fast crash and burn time of relationships back then. Our marriage lasted 4 years, with one 2 month split up during.
The time we've been divorced and estranged is almost 8 years.
Some good things are:
The big factors that led to our relationship falling apart are well past us both. The root causes of alot of our problems have either gone away completely or we've grown out of. From the bit we gathered from each other recently, there would be new hurdles to overcome, but nothing deal breaking like we had before.
Hope that helps with some of the reading/advice. Thank you very much Cajungal, sadly some of the people I've spoken with are telling me I'm being a complete putz for it but I can't deny what's there and what possibilities could come from this. It's just too, worth it, to not at least try. Thanks for being an ear Ironbrig4 and thanks Cheesy for the personal experience advice.
8 years is a long time and remember, you're not the same people you were as teenagers or 20somethings. That's a huge part in a person's life where they begin to evaluate who they are and what they want to do. Ideals and mindsets change a lot during those years. I say you should give it a shot, maybe you two have grown individually in different directions enough that what drove you apart to begin doesn't matter anymore. If things do work out, I'm sure your kids would love it.
---------- Post added at 11:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:21 AM ----------
Just have a couple of trysts in a cheap motel...
Don't try to work things through and never be really sweet to each other in front of the kids. If you guys can really work things out good. But don't let the kids know, unless you two think things will work for the long run.
Look at it like you would dating a single mother (I've done that enough times.) I tell the ladies that I am interested in that I'll try not to get close to their kids unless things are looking good for the two of us first. But the downside is that they don't understand why I don't try to get to her heart through her kids... DON'T LET THE KIDS BE PAWNS IN ALL OF THIS. If you could articulate that situation well first (better than I do anyway.) It could give you two time to figure out if what you had is worth dredging up again.
Either way this turns out, I wish you luck and happiness.
This is 100% correct.
#15
KCWM
KCWM
I wouldn't get back together with any of my exes. I tried it once when I was 19 and it was a disaster.
As for the OP's situation, I'd be hesitant. Like CG, while I normally hate that kind of behavior, in this situation, I can definitely understand why she'd want to take it a little slow. Chaz mentioned that you both are going to be different people than you were the first time around, and hopefully far more aware of both your own faults and the benefits of compromising over differences. With kids involved, it becomes far more complicated because of the fact that so many parents use their kids against each other. I do think it'd be great if you were able to reunite your family, but the reality is that it'd be an incredibly difficult, however rewarding, journey.
As one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs goes, "It's not in my past to presume love can keep on moving in both directions. How to be happy and true is the quest we're taking on together". I'm of the belief that love is, for lack of better description, like the waxing and waning of the moon, constantly in flux. Love is a balancing act...the margin of error between success and failure is razor thin. Like the lyrics above go, being happy together and true to each other is the way to survive the wanes and failures of a relationship. Easier said than done, but it's done wonders for the approach my wife and I have towards our marriage.
As for the OP's situation, I'd be hesitant. Like CG, while I normally hate that kind of behavior, in this situation, I can definitely understand why she'd want to take it a little slow. Chaz mentioned that you both are going to be different people than you were the first time around, and hopefully far more aware of both your own faults and the benefits of compromising over differences. With kids involved, it becomes far more complicated because of the fact that so many parents use their kids against each other. I do think it'd be great if you were able to reunite your family, but the reality is that it'd be an incredibly difficult, however rewarding, journey.
As one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs goes, "It's not in my past to presume love can keep on moving in both directions. How to be happy and true is the quest we're taking on together". I'm of the belief that love is, for lack of better description, like the waxing and waning of the moon, constantly in flux. Love is a balancing act...the margin of error between success and failure is razor thin. Like the lyrics above go, being happy together and true to each other is the way to survive the wanes and failures of a relationship. Easier said than done, but it's done wonders for the approach my wife and I have towards our marriage.
#16
Fun Size
Fun Size
Immediate, honest response: No.
Secondary, mostly honest, but also smart-ass response: Nope. She's gay and I'm married, so I'm guessing it would be awkward.
Fun Size Response: No, because she's dead. I mean, she was dead when we were dating, but that was a while ago, and she's way more dead now, if you know what I mean. Plus I'm not into real skinny chicks.
Secondary, mostly honest, but also smart-ass response: Nope. She's gay and I'm married, so I'm guessing it would be awkward.
Fun Size Response: No, because she's dead. I mean, she was dead when we were dating, but that was a while ago, and she's way more dead now, if you know what I mean. Plus I'm not into real skinny chicks.
#17
sixpackshaker
sixpackshaker
Another word of caution, much of what you two felt recently may have been the wine* talking.
*or what ever you two were drinking.
*or what ever you two were drinking.
#18
GasBandit
GasBandit
Nope.
#19
CynicismKills
CynicismKills
Of the last few ex's, I think there's only two that could have really gone somewhere if I wasn't a stupid teenager and ruined them.
As for your situation, it's heavier than anything I've dealt with, but I would say take things very, very slowly and really hash out everything you two feel so there's no misunderstandings.
As for your situation, it's heavier than anything I've dealt with, but I would say take things very, very slowly and really hash out everything you two feel so there's no misunderstandings.
#20
Azurephoenix
Azurephoenix
There's no way in hell I would get back together with any of my exes...
Unless maybe it was the end of the world and everyone else was already dead... yeah... that's about the only scenario... and even then... I'd carefully weigh my options.
Unless maybe it was the end of the world and everyone else was already dead... yeah... that's about the only scenario... and even then... I'd carefully weigh my options.
#21
Chibibar
Chibibar
I have thought long and hard on this one.
Would I get back with my ex? personally? The answer would be no. The exes broke up with me for various reasons and I haven't change since then so..... they wouldn't want to get back with me.
What are the reasons?
1. too nice
2. too generous
3. too dependable
4. too happy (yes.. cause I'm too happy most of the time)
5. Loyal (this one was a weird one but it happen)
Now. For Jairan.....
I say be careful. I was told that alcohol usually remove any inhibition. That can be a factor of recent event. You don't want to give the kid hopes that you might get back together. This could be bad for the kid.
I have to agree with Chaz that people change especially from teenage to adult life. 8 years is a long time so..... tread softly and I wish you luck!
Would I get back with my ex? personally? The answer would be no. The exes broke up with me for various reasons and I haven't change since then so..... they wouldn't want to get back with me.
What are the reasons?
1. too nice
2. too generous
3. too dependable
4. too happy (yes.. cause I'm too happy most of the time)
5. Loyal (this one was a weird one but it happen)
Now. For Jairan.....
I say be careful. I was told that alcohol usually remove any inhibition. That can be a factor of recent event. You don't want to give the kid hopes that you might get back together. This could be bad for the kid.
I have to agree with Chaz that people change especially from teenage to adult life. 8 years is a long time so..... tread softly and I wish you luck!
#22
Adammon
Adammon
I ended up marrying an ex. We both had grown up and were ready for each other which wasn't the case when we had dated. 8 years is a long time, especially past your teenage years when you actually do grow up into yourself and get over the usual bullshit drama of the late teens/early 20's.
Despite all our problems, I can't really imagine myself married to anyone else.
Of course, she wasn't psycho so your mileage may vary.
Despite all our problems, I can't really imagine myself married to anyone else.
Of course, she wasn't psycho so your mileage may vary.
#23
North_Ranger
North_Ranger
Jiarn, the romantic in me hopes all the best for you and yours, and that maybe, just maybe you and your ex can find some common ground. But the realist in me agrees with CG and others: take it slow, and keep the kids out of the loop until you both are certain of what you want. It sounds like there's a healthy chance it was the drinks talkin', and there's always the chance that you and her might just be in love with being in love, not with each other. Until you get that cleared, I'd advise against anything serious. And if it doesn't work... well, I hope you and her can remain friends.
Me and my ex couldn't. So no, I wouldn't try to get together with my ex. First of all, I'm in a relationship now, and I have a really good feeling about her. She makes me feel good, and has actually succeeded in making me ditch some of my worse habits.
Also, there's a reason why I have given my ex the moniker M*****a the Psycho Bitch-Queen. She hurt me pretty bad. I trusted her and she abused that trust. I told her I wasn't ready to move in yet; while I was in the army she rented an apartment and AFTER signing the lease told me "Oops, it actually costs €100 more per month than I told you earlier". On a weekend leave her dog chewed up my glasses to the point where I couldn't use them; she defended the dog by saying it only the dog liked me (same with the bitch - the dog, not the ex - shitting on my carpets). If I had her over for the night, she would either wake me up at 3am to demand my opinion on furniture or something; if I told her I wanted to sleep, she'd get anxious and either start cutting herself or eat my fridge empty (eating disorder) - or she would slap me for not listening to her. One night I was suffering from headaches because she kept waking me up when I needed to sleep. Her response? She offered me some of her prescription ANTI-DEPRESSANTS - and then slapped me when I told her I wouldn't take her prescription drugs. Oh, and she basically told me we should get engaged on our anniversary (half the time of which I had been in the army!); if we didn't, she'd think I didn't love her.
So no, no way in hell would I get together with her. Besides, she's gotten married to her ex (the guy before me) - whom she told had raped her, and had pretty much instilled on her a fear of sex. I hope to God one of them proves infertile, because any child with parents like that is gonna be fucked up.
...
Gah, I haven't thought of her in months. Oh well, water under the bridge. And I hope that bridge falls on her.
Me and my ex couldn't. So no, I wouldn't try to get together with my ex. First of all, I'm in a relationship now, and I have a really good feeling about her. She makes me feel good, and has actually succeeded in making me ditch some of my worse habits.
Also, there's a reason why I have given my ex the moniker M*****a the Psycho Bitch-Queen. She hurt me pretty bad. I trusted her and she abused that trust. I told her I wasn't ready to move in yet; while I was in the army she rented an apartment and AFTER signing the lease told me "Oops, it actually costs €100 more per month than I told you earlier". On a weekend leave her dog chewed up my glasses to the point where I couldn't use them; she defended the dog by saying it only the dog liked me (same with the bitch - the dog, not the ex - shitting on my carpets). If I had her over for the night, she would either wake me up at 3am to demand my opinion on furniture or something; if I told her I wanted to sleep, she'd get anxious and either start cutting herself or eat my fridge empty (eating disorder) - or she would slap me for not listening to her. One night I was suffering from headaches because she kept waking me up when I needed to sleep. Her response? She offered me some of her prescription ANTI-DEPRESSANTS - and then slapped me when I told her I wouldn't take her prescription drugs. Oh, and she basically told me we should get engaged on our anniversary (half the time of which I had been in the army!); if we didn't, she'd think I didn't love her.
So no, no way in hell would I get together with her. Besides, she's gotten married to her ex (the guy before me) - whom she told had raped her, and had pretty much instilled on her a fear of sex. I hope to God one of them proves infertile, because any child with parents like that is gonna be fucked up.
...
Gah, I haven't thought of her in months. Oh well, water under the bridge. And I hope that bridge falls on her.
#24
Necronic
Necronic
I have gotten back together with exes before. Thing is, every time I thought it was because I wanted to be with them. After we had a fling though I realized I just wanted another ego boost, or wanted to make sure I was the one walking away, not them. Sometimes it was just because I was lonely, and after the fling I realized that there was no way in the world that was enough justification. In the end nothing ever happened. I never felt bad about it or anything, because I was always clear that I wasn't sure where this was going. Right now I am entertaining getting back together with an ex. This time it is a bit different, but on the other hand, maybe it's not.
Now, I'm not you. They weren't your ex wife (I hope not at least, because that would be messed up). Maybe there is something more there. Honest to god there is no one here who can tell you that. But unlike me there is more at stake than a couple of shed tears and closure. If the kids find out about it, and they get burned? That's super sad panda.
I think you should do whatever you think is best, but be careful about it. Make sure she has the same understanding. Keep the kids out of it. For now at least. Go have a fling, spend some time together. Burn some calories. See if you remember why yall split up in the first place. That's the hard part. Remembering why you fell in love is easy. Remembering why it went away isn't, but I usually remember after I've cleared my head a bit.
Now, I'm not you. They weren't your ex wife (I hope not at least, because that would be messed up). Maybe there is something more there. Honest to god there is no one here who can tell you that. But unlike me there is more at stake than a couple of shed tears and closure. If the kids find out about it, and they get burned? That's super sad panda.
I think you should do whatever you think is best, but be careful about it. Make sure she has the same understanding. Keep the kids out of it. For now at least. Go have a fling, spend some time together. Burn some calories. See if you remember why yall split up in the first place. That's the hard part. Remembering why you fell in love is easy. Remembering why it went away isn't, but I usually remember after I've cleared my head a bit.
#25
Hailey Knight
Hailey Knight
You probably know this already, but those aren't the real reasons; those are things they told you.1. too nice
2. too generous
3. too dependable
4. too happy (yes.. cause I'm too happy most of the time)
5. Loyal (this one was a weird one but it happen)
#26
Jiarn
Jiarn
Actually escushion those are real reasons some women do leave. Though those reasons were given to me, they were also confessed to me by female friends about why the did leave certain relationships. Now usually it was followed up with something like:
I love everything about you, you're nice, generous, dependable, happy and loyal, but I'm just not IN love with you.
So yeah, they are actual reasons.
I love everything about you, you're nice, generous, dependable, happy and loyal, but I'm just not IN love with you.
So yeah, they are actual reasons.
#27
Hailey Knight
Hailey Knight
Those are reasons she was with the guy--you even phrase it that way yourself. He's this and that, BUT not in love with him.
That "but" is the closer. That's the real reason.
That "but" is the closer. That's the real reason.
#28
checkeredhat
checkeredhat
In response to the thread title question: No. She cheated on me, and so I can't trust her. I've cut her out of my life completely because of that.
But that doesn't mean I'd never consider reuniting with any potential future-exes, it just depends on the relationship and the cause of the breakup. And it certainly doesn't mean I'm saying it can't happen with your relationship either.
I really have nothing new to say in regards to your current situtation, I think the rest of the forumites have said all there is. Basically it can all be summed up to
BE CAREFUL.
But that doesn't mean I'd never consider reuniting with any potential future-exes, it just depends on the relationship and the cause of the breakup. And it certainly doesn't mean I'm saying it can't happen with your relationship either.
I really have nothing new to say in regards to your current situtation, I think the rest of the forumites have said all there is. Basically it can all be summed up to
BE CAREFUL.
#29
Jiarn
What's changed? I wouldn't even know where to begin. I was a young, dumb kid who got someone pregnant and freaked out. While I did marry her, I really did neglect her and my son. I had tons of bad habits and a real lack of any kind of maturity or sense of responsibility. While I was never mean or cruel directly I know I hurt her at times with my actions unintentionally. It wasn't until my daughter was born, and our relationship was so far gone did I begin trying to get myself on the straight and narrow. I know what my faults were back then. I didn't want much out of life, I wasn't very ambition driven, I thought I needed more sexual exploration and experience and acted like I was trapped because I was married. I wasn't that great of a father, I was a terrible husband and worst of all I was just a sad excuse for a good person over all.
The years since I was with her, I went through hardships like almost no other. I had custody of the kids because she had way too much on her plate and not enough help, where as I had alot of family to back me up. The ups and downs in my life and the experiences I went through in this time apart have really shaped me into the person I am today.
I have a steady career with a bright future, I have very specific short-term and long-term plans that I've fullfilled and continue to. I have entirely reshaped myself as a person, both physically: I was over 200lbs with over 25% body fat, down to a 184 with 12% and mentally: My focuses are no longer video games and sleeping in but time spent with my children and working as hard as I can. I have done more than enough sexual exploration and truly crave a relationship with a steady person to raise my kids and build a life with. I've learned to appreciate the person I'm with in a relationship in many ways.
As for her? That's yet to be seen. The problems I used to have with her was a lack of self-pride. She let herself go after the children, and while I understand baby weight, she really just didn't care enough to watch what she ate or do anything to help health. Now I do blame some of that on the treatment I put on her, but even after we split she continue to slide downhill steadily. We used to clash on my gaming habits, her music and TV habits, the kind of people she'd hang out with: She was goth/biker and I tended to be clean-cut and professional. We used to argue over the kids and how I wasn't doing enough for them. Mostly my problems with her, were more like her problems with me.
How would we fare today? I believe it in my heart of hearts that we could work through the issues we have or would have now. Then again, I really do need to get to know her and her lifestyle a bit better before making that a complete judgement call, and the best way to do that is with steady time and careful effort.
Jiarn
Going to try and answer alot of the questions asked since I posted, so if I miss one, please let me know:What has changed in YOU and what has changed in HER so that if you were to get together, things would be different enough to work?
I'll use me and my ex as an example.
We both still live far away from one another. We both still have different views on marriage. We both still define a successful future for ourselves differently.
Because those things have not changed about us, getting back together would not be a good idea. We would find ourselves with the same problems as before.
What's changed? I wouldn't even know where to begin. I was a young, dumb kid who got someone pregnant and freaked out. While I did marry her, I really did neglect her and my son. I had tons of bad habits and a real lack of any kind of maturity or sense of responsibility. While I was never mean or cruel directly I know I hurt her at times with my actions unintentionally. It wasn't until my daughter was born, and our relationship was so far gone did I begin trying to get myself on the straight and narrow. I know what my faults were back then. I didn't want much out of life, I wasn't very ambition driven, I thought I needed more sexual exploration and experience and acted like I was trapped because I was married. I wasn't that great of a father, I was a terrible husband and worst of all I was just a sad excuse for a good person over all.
The years since I was with her, I went through hardships like almost no other. I had custody of the kids because she had way too much on her plate and not enough help, where as I had alot of family to back me up. The ups and downs in my life and the experiences I went through in this time apart have really shaped me into the person I am today.
I have a steady career with a bright future, I have very specific short-term and long-term plans that I've fullfilled and continue to. I have entirely reshaped myself as a person, both physically: I was over 200lbs with over 25% body fat, down to a 184 with 12% and mentally: My focuses are no longer video games and sleeping in but time spent with my children and working as hard as I can. I have done more than enough sexual exploration and truly crave a relationship with a steady person to raise my kids and build a life with. I've learned to appreciate the person I'm with in a relationship in many ways.
As for her? That's yet to be seen. The problems I used to have with her was a lack of self-pride. She let herself go after the children, and while I understand baby weight, she really just didn't care enough to watch what she ate or do anything to help health. Now I do blame some of that on the treatment I put on her, but even after we split she continue to slide downhill steadily. We used to clash on my gaming habits, her music and TV habits, the kind of people she'd hang out with: She was goth/biker and I tended to be clean-cut and professional. We used to argue over the kids and how I wasn't doing enough for them. Mostly my problems with her, were more like her problems with me.
How would we fare today? I believe it in my heart of hearts that we could work through the issues we have or would have now. Then again, I really do need to get to know her and her lifestyle a bit better before making that a complete judgement call, and the best way to do that is with steady time and careful effort.
#30
Math242
Math242
i don't think you should do it. As Wasabi said, you both are probably feeling lonely...
Every now and then when i can't a find a girl for a longer than usual time, i start to think about my favourite ex girlfriend and start wishing etc etc. Once, i made it happen. Top 3 mistake in my life and i've made a lot.
Every now and then when i can't a find a girl for a longer than usual time, i start to think about my favourite ex girlfriend and start wishing etc etc. Once, i made it happen. Top 3 mistake in my life and i've made a lot.
#31
Jiarn
Jiarn
So then because we're not sure what it is, and there is a possibility that it's just loneliness then we shouldn't bother finding out at all?i don't think you should do it. As Wasabi said, you both are probably feeling lonely...
Every now and then when i can't a find a girl for a longer than usual time, i start to think about my favourite ex girlfriend and start wishing etc etc. Once, i made it happen. Top 3 mistake in my life and i've made a lot.
#32
Cajungal
Cajungal
It sounds to me like you're pretty set on trying this. It also sounds like you know your mistakes of the past and understand that there's a chance for failure this time as well. So I'll just say good luck, and if it doesn't work out, try not to take it too hard. I trust that you'll have your kids' best interest at heart in the end.
#33
Thread Necromancer
Thread Necromancer
Thread is way to long, didn't read.
Simple answer to your question: For me, if she could be the woman I loved instead of the C*nt that she became, yes. In a heartbeat. But I've had to convince myself that the woman i loved is dead and gone, and only the C*nt remains.
Simple answer to your question: For me, if she could be the woman I loved instead of the C*nt that she became, yes. In a heartbeat. But I've had to convince myself that the woman i loved is dead and gone, and only the C*nt remains.
#34
Jiarn
If this crashes and burns, I'll be no worse off than I was before. If it succeeds....
Jiarn
There's too much to gain, and too little to lose if the kids aren't involved early on. I really can't ignore the possibility.It sounds to me like you're pretty set on trying this. It also sounds like you know your mistakes of the past and understand that there's a chance for failure this time as well. So I'll just say good luck, and if it doesn't work out, try not to take it too hard. I trust that you'll have your kids' best interest at heart in the end.
If this crashes and burns, I'll be no worse off than I was before. If it succeeds....
#35
Null
Null
This should end well.
#36
Thread Necromancer
Thread Necromancer
If it crashes and burns you have to go through all the hell you went through before, again, this time multiplied because it's happening AGAIN.If this crashes and burns,
#37
Jiarn
Jiarn
Is there any particular reason you've taken a liking to showering me with negativity Null?
First negative repping me for being an overly caring and cautious parent. Now for trying to salvage a relationship with the mother of said children?
Did I shoot your dog or something?
First negative repping me for being an overly caring and cautious parent. Now for trying to salvage a relationship with the mother of said children?
Did I shoot your dog or something?
That would be if I invested as much as I did the first time. The first time I invested my entire being within 3 months. This time it'll take alot more and alot longer than that for me to get in that deep again.If it crashes and burns you have to go through all the hell you went through before, again, this time multiplied because it's happening AGAIN.
#38
Null
Null
Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know. You aren't being a caring parent, you're being a crazy distrustful dictator. And salvage, yeah, I guess that is right term for digging up something that's been at the bottom of the ocean for 8 years. And one of the issues that let to your divorce was your body fat percentage? Seriously?
#39
Jiarn
Jiarn
Wow. Just wow.Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know.
#40
Null
Well rebutted. Let me ask you something... when your milk in the fridge goes sour, do you try and drink it again after 8 years?
Null
Wow. Just wow.[/QUOTE]Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know.
Well rebutted. Let me ask you something... when your milk in the fridge goes sour, do you try and drink it again after 8 years?
#41
Math242
Math242
heh, you do whatever you want to do. You asked for advice.
In the end, we don't know you, we're not shrinks... So if your mind is already set on doing it, sure go ahead. But be careful because those fairy tales stories of getting back together rarely end well.
good luck
In the end, we don't know you, we're not shrinks... So if your mind is already set on doing it, sure go ahead. But be careful because those fairy tales stories of getting back together rarely end well.
good luck
#42
Element 117
Well rebutted. Let me ask you something... when your milk in the fridge goes sour, do you try and drink it again after 8 years?[/QUOTE]
Don't drink that person!
Element 117
Wow. Just wow.[/QUOTE]Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know.
Well rebutted. Let me ask you something... when your milk in the fridge goes sour, do you try and drink it again after 8 years?[/QUOTE]
Don't drink that person!
#43
Chibibar
Chibibar
Null, people do change.
I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.
Now for Jairn, it is possible the women you fell in love with and have a child with CAN change, but you won't know until you explore that. Take it slow and see how things go. You have one extra hurdle which is your child. You and your ex need to establish that no matter what happen, your best interest is for the child. You both have to agree if it doesn't work out, don't go "break down" on each other. Even if you don't let the child know, kid knows things. Also if the 2nd break up is bad (for whatever reason) don't let it influence the visitation of the child and stuff like that. It is going to be interesting experience. If everything DO work out, it is a win win for all, but do keep in mind it COULD not work out since y'all did split up in the first place.
(in case things don't work out)
My parents divorce for years, but one thing they taught me is that never speak ill of the other parents with the child. While my parents argue with each other when they are together, they never speak badly of each other toward me and my sister. I think that is important in my book.
I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.
Now for Jairn, it is possible the women you fell in love with and have a child with CAN change, but you won't know until you explore that. Take it slow and see how things go. You have one extra hurdle which is your child. You and your ex need to establish that no matter what happen, your best interest is for the child. You both have to agree if it doesn't work out, don't go "break down" on each other. Even if you don't let the child know, kid knows things. Also if the 2nd break up is bad (for whatever reason) don't let it influence the visitation of the child and stuff like that. It is going to be interesting experience. If everything DO work out, it is a win win for all, but do keep in mind it COULD not work out since y'all did split up in the first place.
(in case things don't work out)
My parents divorce for years, but one thing they taught me is that never speak ill of the other parents with the child. While my parents argue with each other when they are together, they never speak badly of each other toward me and my sister. I think that is important in my book.
#44
Necronic
Edit: Oh yeah, and to Jiarn, just realize the level of risk you are taking. Because if after you peel the bannanna and diddle that skittle, you may realize that you aren't into her like you think. It's not your fault to have those feelings change, it is literally part of what makes us guys, but it is your fault if you walk into it not realizing the potential for that.
Necronic
Dude, it's not like you have given any advice. The people earlier gave advice. You, you're just saying "it's a bad idea and you're an idiot." That's not advice. If you want to whip on someone, go for it. But don't expect to be considered anything but the world's largest douchebag if you do it in a thread about confusing personal stuff like this. It's kind of like the Sunday morning ceasefire that they have on the street (thank you Wire).Because you're making decisions that are painfully obviously bad, and you're being told as much, and you don't like it. If you are that sensitive, don't share your idiotic plans with a bunch of people you don't know. You aren't being a caring parent, you're being a crazy distrustful dictator. And salvage, yeah, I guess that is right term for digging up something that's been at the bottom of the ocean for 8 years. And one of the issues that let to your divorce was your body fat percentage? Seriously?
Edit: Oh yeah, and to Jiarn, just realize the level of risk you are taking. Because if after you peel the bannanna and diddle that skittle, you may realize that you aren't into her like you think. It's not your fault to have those feelings change, it is literally part of what makes us guys, but it is your fault if you walk into it not realizing the potential for that.
#45
Wasabi Poptart
Wasabi Poptart
Sometimes people don't want to change. Sometimes the little "standard quirks" are the things that drove you apart in the first place. It's naive to blindly believe that anything has changed in either person. Change is possible, but not entirely likely.Null, people do change.
I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.
#46
Chibibar
I know, that is why my personal advice is to go slow. It is usually the little things that drive families apart, but sometimes some little things can change cause of age, situations, or just plain grow up.
I use to be a total ass when I was a kid. I could care less out anyone except myself. That has certainly change. I am not longer that bratty kid.
Chibibar
Sometimes people don't want to change. Sometimes the little "standard quirks" are the things that drove you apart in the first place. It's naive to blindly believe that anything has changed in either person. Change is possible, but not entirely likely.[/QUOTE]Null, people do change.
I am not the same person I am now 10 years ago. I still have my "standard" quirks like playing video games and such, but I am also more responsible of my action and my family. Time can change people when they want to change.
I know, that is why my personal advice is to go slow. It is usually the little things that drive families apart, but sometimes some little things can change cause of age, situations, or just plain grow up.
I use to be a total ass when I was a kid. I could care less out anyone except myself. That has certainly change. I am not longer that bratty kid.
#47
Jiarn
Jiarn
In the 8 years we were split, we never did that as it was. That wouldn't change at all. Thank you though.(in case things don't work out)
My parents divorce for years, but one thing they taught me is that never speak ill of the other parents with the child. While my parents argue with each other when they are together, they never speak badly of each other toward me and my sister. I think that is important in my book.
I'm trying to figure out where and when I stated that I was doing this for the kids or that I was going to involve them at any early stage in these talks with my ex.... Though I do appreciate your concern and your passion for the subject. The reasons for this, is, because I felt a spark being around her that I haven't felt in a long time. On a personal level, not a family level.Is the main and primary reason to get back together with your ex out of love for her, or because it would be "good for the kids". If the latter: don't do it. Wanting to add the kids in this so early makes it seem you are more wanting a "family" than getting back with your ex. Would you still be interested in getting back with your ex if there were no kids involved?
Bringing kids back into a relationship with your ex early on can end very badly. First you get their hopes up, then, if it fails (again), you destroy them. If you are truly serious about getting back with your EX just be with your ex alone, sans children, for a good long while. It has been years. You need to actually date each other again. Exclude the kids in the conversations too. Don't be a parenting couple again, because you're not. You have to get to know each other again, not have endless conversations on how "Timmy got a B in math this week" and "Sarah is learning to play the piano" where she replies she misses them so.
Going into this for the wrong reasons and insisting to add the kids in this so soon could mentally destroy your children if this fails after a few months. If you care so much about them, you know it is better to exclude them for the time being until you are both sure this could work.
#48
Jiarn
Jiarn
This weekend confirmed that a romantic relationship is completely out the window. Though what we did take from it, is the ability to be friends and be more communicative in the future when it comes to the kids.
#49
Cheesy1
Cheesy1
Sorry, man. I understand how much you wanted it to work out, I do.
#50
IronBrig4
IronBrig4
I'm sorry, man. It was probably for the best but I know it still sucks.
In the meantime...
In the meantime...
#51
Jiarn
Jiarn
I actually drank more AROUND her than not.
#52
Officer_Charon
Officer_Charon
Its good that you can agree to be friends, or at least friendly. I see far too many families with "baby-mama drama," and all it does is hurt and warp the kids to the point that I know I'll be seeing them again, later on down the road.
In response to the posted question... which ex would this be? A good portion of mine have not been... stable.
Were it not for my wife, I might question my taste in women. *grins*
Maybe it's me...
In response to the posted question... which ex would this be? A good portion of mine have not been... stable.
Were it not for my wife, I might question my taste in women. *grins*
Maybe it's me...
#53
sixpackshaker
sixpackshaker
^good save OC