Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!
- Thread starter strawman
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Holy shit, dude. Major hugs here.
Yeesh. Hope everything goes OK from here.
I am surprised at the filing charges thing. When I worked with women leaving abusing relationships, that was most definitely not the case. They could end up in hospital, say what happened, the cops be called (hospital policy), and nothing happened. Apparently policies have changed in the past... 8 years.
When the primary aggressor is no longer on-scene (or when stuff gets reported at the hospital), the onus is on the complainant to file the warrant - the same way it is for any other crime that gets reported in that sort of situation.
It's a prevention against unreasonable seizure that stops us from just snatching people up on someone else's say-so: an investigation HAS to occur prior to arrest, even if it's a cursory one.
And in DV cases, it's not just the first person to take a swing who's at fault - sometimes, the other party can be egging them on to the point where they snap, and making it impossible for the attacker to simply leave (blocking the door, taking car keys, something like that). You have to be careful to avoid "white knight" syndrome in DVA cases.
Adam, I know you're probably feeling a bit guilty about her getting arrested for assaulting you, but bear in mind that she made her decision to act the ass. It sounds as though you were getting everything right, to hear you tell it.
It's a prevention against unreasonable seizure that stops us from just snatching people up on someone else's say-so: an investigation HAS to occur prior to arrest, even if it's a cursory one.
And in DV cases, it's not just the first person to take a swing who's at fault - sometimes, the other party can be egging them on to the point where they snap, and making it impossible for the attacker to simply leave (blocking the door, taking car keys, something like that). You have to be careful to avoid "white knight" syndrome in DVA cases.
Adam, I know you're probably feeling a bit guilty about her getting arrested for assaulting you, but bear in mind that she made her decision to act the ass. It sounds as though you were getting everything right, to hear you tell it.
Thanks OC. What ended up happening is the two gentlemen RCMP told me is that the domestic assault policy stated that they have to arrest her, regardless of I was going to press charges. After a lengthy discussion with their supervisor and the fact that I refused to provide a statement (and obviously didn't want her arrested, just deescalated and removed from the situation) they found a loophole where if both parties said that it was a heat of the moment shove (still assault and battery, just not premeditated) that they wouldn't serve her papers for a court date. Did that and had family stay with me for a couple hours.
Both the cops and my family said it was the exact right thing to do, as a bigger guy and her being a small female, if she had called the police first I would have ended up in an overnight stay at the station just based on her word, independent of the fact that she hit me, and I didn't touch her once.
Both the cops and my family said it was the exact right thing to do, as a bigger guy and her being a small female, if she had called the police first I would have ended up in an overnight stay at the station just based on her word, independent of the fact that she hit me, and I didn't touch her once.
BananaHands
Staff member
My brother has cancer.
He found out today after work and of course my family is all hysterical. I haven't been able to speak to him yet, but from what I understand it could be one of three different types of cancer and something about a tumor being 'aggressive'.
It's a lot to process and I'm still letting it sink in. I can't tell what I'm feeling yet - but I'll see him tomorrow and will probably get the full story then.
He found out today after work and of course my family is all hysterical. I haven't been able to speak to him yet, but from what I understand it could be one of three different types of cancer and something about a tumor being 'aggressive'.
It's a lot to process and I'm still letting it sink in. I can't tell what I'm feeling yet - but I'll see him tomorrow and will probably get the full story then.
GasBandit
Staff member
I'm pulling for ya. Of course, what happens next depends on which of what three types it is, and in what stage. My grandfather had non-hodgkin's lymphoma, caught fairly early, and his treatment was barely a speedbump, and he's still with us and active. Pauline... stage 4 ovarian cancer... and not so much.
BananaHands
Staff member
We won't know more until tomorrow. There was some optimism in it all too.
I don't know, my family is pretty closed off emotionally so this is bringing a lot of things to the forefront. I don't even know what to say to him really.
You sit in a room with him, share a beverage of choice, and say yep every once in a while. It will be enough. If you talk more than that, it helps too.
BananaHands
Staff member
Well, his blood tests all came back normal and the tumor hasn't breached the bone yet. All of which is good news.
I'm still a bit out of the loop - mainly because he doesn't really want to talk about it and it's fairly early in this whole process. The snippets of news I'm getting is from my mother who is understandably panicked.
From what I understand it's located on his shoulder blade (whatever that bone is, starts with an S?). Could be lymphoma or some rare cancer that starts with a C. They're going to check if the cancer started somewhere else in his body and spread on Wednesday - if not, he's in fairly good shape.
I don't want to be too optimistic, however. I'm just trying to keep myself prepared for what could come of this.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I'm still a bit out of the loop - mainly because he doesn't really want to talk about it and it's fairly early in this whole process. The snippets of news I'm getting is from my mother who is understandably panicked.
From what I understand it's located on his shoulder blade (whatever that bone is, starts with an S?). Could be lymphoma or some rare cancer that starts with a C. They're going to check if the cancer started somewhere else in his body and spread on Wednesday - if not, he's in fairly good shape.
I don't want to be too optimistic, however. I'm just trying to keep myself prepared for what could come of this.
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Sounds like it's the scapula. The rest I'm not even going to take a guess at. I hope you are able to find out more, for your own sake, and that your brother is well again soon.
BananaHands
Staff member
Scapula, that's the one.
I guess the cancer we're 'hoping' for is chondrosarcoma. It's rare, but if that's what he has they can treat it easily at the stage they caught it at. It also means that since it hasn't breached the bone, they don't have to remove his scapula.
Here's a puppy gif.
I hate writing outlines. Hate hate HATE THEM! :/
I sympathise more than you know
fade
Staff member
Can you sum up your hatred somehow?
Oh man. I love outlines. They help me get things done. If I have to work without an outline it is agony.
GasBandit
Staff member
Freakin company beancounter's hassling me about non-uniform link structure on our various websites. Maybe if I'd been included or involved in the acquisition/development of those websites at any point in the process at all (you know, like an IT department normally would be?) maybe I'd have been in a position to head that off... or maybe at least have the login information to get in and fix it now.
I'm thinking he should use an outline.
Man, if I could focus on what I should be be doing instead of wasting time on the internet, I could get so much more done, both for things I need to do and things I want to do for fun. And on top off that, I wouldn't beat myself up after the fact for wasting that time. 
He?
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I do it when it comes to planning other things, but when I write papers I'm better at free writing. The outline makes me feel like I have committed to writing a certain way and can't easily change it.[DOUBLEPOST=1396319261][/DOUBLEPOST]
I. Outlines
A. Suck
1. I hate them.
This, plus I hate the time I have to put into constructing something for a mark that I won't end up using, meaning that valuable time that could be put into research/writing the way I write my best stuff, is wasted in order to maintain my average. One of my biggest reasons for dropping out of university, honestly, was the weight of outlines, often 15-20% of a course's total mark! I felt like they were just there to get the asses in gear of the laziest students, but, uhm, if you're not ready to either do work ahead of time or cram a shitton of research into 1 night, then maybe you shouldn't be in university. Instead the response is apparently "We will baby you so everyone passes."
Sorry, I've made this my own whine.
I do sympathise.
Oh, you mean like that Cadillac song? Or were you talking about the Buick one?
--Patrick
GasBandit
Staff member
No. I mean my entire music library of the last 15 years. Today was the first day I've really tried to listen to music again in months.
Every. Last. One. Reminds me of who I've lost.
And I was thinking a magnet just hit your computer. Stay strong Gasbandit.
You just need to start looking for new songs that are meaningless! Here are some good places to start.
GasBandit
Staff member
Somehow I am reminded of complaining about something hurting, only to have a sibling kick me in the shin and say "now you aren't thinking about that other thing hurting, right?"
I knew immediately what you meant.
I wish I had advice.
Time has restored some of them. Others, will never again be listened to