Whine like a baby, now with 500% more drama!
- Thread starter strawman
- Start date
GasBandit
Staff member
It's not entirely clear to me what, if any, compensation the housekeeper is getting. I'm trying to find a tactful way to ask if my future MIL has a de facto slave.
I feel very bad about all of this, but silver lining is that these are the holidays of legend, that get retold with gusto the further you get away from them.
GasBandit
Staff member
It's all very Knives Out. If the last brother gets here and is played by Chris Evans, I'm just going to pack my crap and spend the rest of the holiday in the airport.
At least things will work out for the Venezuelan.
GasBandit
Staff member
I was mistaken, Guatemalan, not Venezuelan. But yes, she gets paid and has days off and everything. So that's something.
I will laugh my ass off and clap wildly if she gets everything in the will. I have never seen a stronger argument against generational wealth than this family.
I will laugh my ass off and clap wildly if she gets everything in the will. I have never seen a stronger argument against generational wealth than this family.
The parallels continue.
GasBandit
Staff member
So, her mother has been told in the past about my dietary issues - anything with even the smallest amount of grease makes me immediately, violently ill.
She decided she wanted fried chicken for dinner, and went out and brought back KFC.
Now I'm getting the stink eye because I didn't eat any of it.
Meanwhile the eldest son still hasn't made his appearance, in fact he isn't responding to texts.
She decided she wanted fried chicken for dinner, and went out and brought back KFC.
Now I'm getting the stink eye because I didn't eat any of it.
Meanwhile the eldest son still hasn't made his appearance, in fact he isn't responding to texts.
Did you stumble into a whodunnit mystery story?
But serios, why are they angry? It's not like she cooked the KFC herself. A good host always have options for the guests.
It sounds like this woman doesn’t care about being a good host. She cares about control.
GasBandit
Staff member
This. The mom is extremely narcissistic, and at 86 also starting to struggle with dementia. If everything doesn't play out the way she wants it to, then Mama ain't happy. And if Mama ain't happy, then nobody happy. I guess I insulted her by not eating the food she provided, and therefore an a bad guest.
You are stronger than I am. I would definitely look at that situation and think to myself "Look at all these powder kegs, and all I have are all these matches..."
GasBandit
Staff member
Also, nobody but the Mom actually wants the eldest here. The current theory among the younger siblings is that he'll show up just in time to eat after all the "work" of thanksgiving prep is done, eat, hit up his mother for more money with a sob story (She's already bought him a truck AND an SUV this year, to replace the car she bought him that he burned in his house), maybe spend the night, and then hopefully leave early tomorrow morning.
Apparently his GF is actually his wife, and they have a new baby (that everybody feels really sorry for). He's apparently been married at least once before, but it wouldn't last because he cheated on his previous spouse(s)... with the Guatemalan housekeeper's daughter. And my GF and her younger brother fully expect that trend to continue, and this marriage not to last through April.
Oh, and in case the guy isn't a big enough piece of shit in everyone's eyes yet, he owns a great dane that he put into boarding after the fire, and when the insurance agency caught whiff of the fraud and stopped payments, he just left it there. It's racked up a $20,000 bill in boarding fees over the past year, and he refuses to pay it, and doesn't show any sign of actually getting the poor thing out of the hoosegow.
Apparently his GF is actually his wife, and they have a new baby (that everybody feels really sorry for). He's apparently been married at least once before, but it wouldn't last because he cheated on his previous spouse(s)... with the Guatemalan housekeeper's daughter. And my GF and her younger brother fully expect that trend to continue, and this marriage not to last through April.
Oh, and in case the guy isn't a big enough piece of shit in everyone's eyes yet, he owns a great dane that he put into boarding after the fire, and when the insurance agency caught whiff of the fraud and stopped payments, he just left it there. It's racked up a $20,000 bill in boarding fees over the past year, and he refuses to pay it, and doesn't show any sign of actually getting the poor thing out of the hoosegow.
Listen, I was joking before when I made the comment about tomorrow's video. But the more you go on about this family and what they're like, the more it starts to sound like you're just making things up. Real people shouldn't do these things, this stuff should be the exclusive domain of sitcoms, Hollywood movies--fiction. I'm saying this stuff should purely be fiction.
--Patrick
--Patrick
Obviously he's a POS, but I'm surprised the dog is still there. I board my pets and they're pretty clear that if the pet is there a week longer than expected without them hearing from you they'll take it to the shelter.
GasBandit
Staff member
I don't blame you. I'm in the middle of it and can barely believe it is real myself.
Didn't you have a similarly untrustworthy family member stay at your place recently? Was this the same guy or someone else?
GasBandit
Staff member
I did. The girlfriend's ex-husband, father of the boy who lives with me. I would much prefer that to this.
GasBandit
Staff member
Ok, so, here it is almost 11am, and here's how it's going:
The mom is entirely absorbed with cooing and playing with her newest grandchild. The younger brother and his family have not come over yet (they live just a block down the street in the same neighborhood, as the Mom bought their house for them). The eldest brother seems content to pretend my GF and I don't exist, barely saying one thing to my GF more for the mom's benefit than anything else. He has not introduced himself to me, nor introduced his wife to his sister (the two have not previously met). Breakfast was a bit awkward and quiet.
I knew from first glance, even if I had not been "pre-briefed" about this guy that I would not have liked him from the instant I saw him. He is over 6 feet tall but carries himself how an awkward preschooler would move and act, his brow is cro-magnon and permanently furrowed. His eyes lack any sparkle or enthusiasm for anything, and you can tell his every word and action is an affectation. His nose is somewhere between a hatchet and a hawk's beak, he has 500% the US RDA of lip mass for his face, and his cheeks are jowly and permanently puffed out as if he is holding chewing tobacco on both sides. He is churlish and narcissistic to the point of solipsism.
The mother projects her desire for control and order onto the uncooperative grandbaby. The baby's mother puts it in a rolling walker, and the matriarch moves him to a high chair. The baby isn't hungry, the matriarch tries to feed it anyway. And so on.
I was able to excuse myself to set up a sort of "safety" axethrowing game kit for kids, which the Mom purchased earlier in anticipation of today and the visitation of her youngest son's family, who has three daughters (a 12 year old and 8 year old twins). Once I finished that, the GF and I surreptitiously excuse ourselves to our room to be unobtrusive for a while. So here I am.
My GF has a massive inferiority complex about her family, and I can kind of see why. The house is large and, while not opulent, definitely a display of wealth - but also there are pictures of her brothers everywhere, in every stage of their lives. I had to hunt to find one picture of my GF, tucked away at the back corner of an alcove, and it was her college graduation picture still in its cardboard folder (all other pictures in the house are in nice frames). The mom is critical of my GF's appearance, dress, weight... about the only thing she hasn't been disparaging about is her change in hair color (as you all know, my GF dyed her hair red... can't IMAGINE why), which she hasn't commented on at all unprompted.
I've helped to move some furniture, and as I am in the process of doing as directed, I am quickly rebuked with "What are you doing to my room?!" despite doing exactly as directed. The mom has trouble staying on topic in conversation, and is constantly probing me with political topics to see if I rise to the bait. A discussion about water treatment instantly becomes one about nuclear power in the same breath between two sentences, so it is challenging to keep up with the meandering.
I look forward to the younger brother and his family arriving so that we have someone to talk to.
The mom is entirely absorbed with cooing and playing with her newest grandchild. The younger brother and his family have not come over yet (they live just a block down the street in the same neighborhood, as the Mom bought their house for them). The eldest brother seems content to pretend my GF and I don't exist, barely saying one thing to my GF more for the mom's benefit than anything else. He has not introduced himself to me, nor introduced his wife to his sister (the two have not previously met). Breakfast was a bit awkward and quiet.
I knew from first glance, even if I had not been "pre-briefed" about this guy that I would not have liked him from the instant I saw him. He is over 6 feet tall but carries himself how an awkward preschooler would move and act, his brow is cro-magnon and permanently furrowed. His eyes lack any sparkle or enthusiasm for anything, and you can tell his every word and action is an affectation. His nose is somewhere between a hatchet and a hawk's beak, he has 500% the US RDA of lip mass for his face, and his cheeks are jowly and permanently puffed out as if he is holding chewing tobacco on both sides. He is churlish and narcissistic to the point of solipsism.
The mother projects her desire for control and order onto the uncooperative grandbaby. The baby's mother puts it in a rolling walker, and the matriarch moves him to a high chair. The baby isn't hungry, the matriarch tries to feed it anyway. And so on.
I was able to excuse myself to set up a sort of "safety" axethrowing game kit for kids, which the Mom purchased earlier in anticipation of today and the visitation of her youngest son's family, who has three daughters (a 12 year old and 8 year old twins). Once I finished that, the GF and I surreptitiously excuse ourselves to our room to be unobtrusive for a while. So here I am.
My GF has a massive inferiority complex about her family, and I can kind of see why. The house is large and, while not opulent, definitely a display of wealth - but also there are pictures of her brothers everywhere, in every stage of their lives. I had to hunt to find one picture of my GF, tucked away at the back corner of an alcove, and it was her college graduation picture still in its cardboard folder (all other pictures in the house are in nice frames). The mom is critical of my GF's appearance, dress, weight... about the only thing she hasn't been disparaging about is her change in hair color (as you all know, my GF dyed her hair red... can't IMAGINE why), which she hasn't commented on at all unprompted.
I've helped to move some furniture, and as I am in the process of doing as directed, I am quickly rebuked with "What are you doing to my room?!" despite doing exactly as directed. The mom has trouble staying on topic in conversation, and is constantly probing me with political topics to see if I rise to the bait. A discussion about water treatment instantly becomes one about nuclear power in the same breath between two sentences, so it is challenging to keep up with the meandering.
I look forward to the younger brother and his family arriving so that we have someone to talk to.
Oh yes, that's right. I forgot it was her ex. I thought it was a blood family member.
Art.
GasBandit
Staff member
It has beeeeen a day.
The mom's been on a tear, nothing's been making her happy. She told the housekeeper to hard boil eggs for breakfast then complained they weren't medium-boiled. Who even does medium-boiled eggs?
The eldest apparently decided to bring his own tri-tip to barbecue because turkey isn't good enough for him.
Most of the food today was actually picked up from a local bakery yesterday to save effort, but it needed to be reheated at certain degrees for certain amounts of time today right before dinner. Naturally, the methods for doing this are not the same as cooking, and so there's written instructions, which all the women in attendance (and my moral support from where I'm pushed into the corner of the kitchen to stay out of their way) are struggling to decode, when the eldest walks past to grab a beer and leaves the kitchen scoffing, "What, did you ALL forget how to COOK?" But nobody says anything because he's the golden child.
Youngest brother's a pretty cool dude, actually. We have a discussion about how, if all powers were stripped from comic book characters, who would be the best in a fight. I suggested Taskmaster, and we settled on that.
Fortunately Eldest is leaving in the morning.
Also my bed might be haunted. More on that to follow perhaps.
The mom's been on a tear, nothing's been making her happy. She told the housekeeper to hard boil eggs for breakfast then complained they weren't medium-boiled. Who even does medium-boiled eggs?
The eldest apparently decided to bring his own tri-tip to barbecue because turkey isn't good enough for him.
Most of the food today was actually picked up from a local bakery yesterday to save effort, but it needed to be reheated at certain degrees for certain amounts of time today right before dinner. Naturally, the methods for doing this are not the same as cooking, and so there's written instructions, which all the women in attendance (and my moral support from where I'm pushed into the corner of the kitchen to stay out of their way) are struggling to decode, when the eldest walks past to grab a beer and leaves the kitchen scoffing, "What, did you ALL forget how to COOK?" But nobody says anything because he's the golden child.
Youngest brother's a pretty cool dude, actually. We have a discussion about how, if all powers were stripped from comic book characters, who would be the best in a fight. I suggested Taskmaster, and we settled on that.
Fortunately Eldest is leaving in the morning.
Also my bed might be haunted. More on that to follow perhaps.
Obviously Batman. Unless you count suit and money as "powers".
Also, if you do count money as a power, when are you taking his money away? Are you removing the Wayne family's wealth, so Bruce can't ever become Batman because he never had the chance to travel the world and learn from all the masters, and has to work a 9-5 job so he can never train up to become Batman? Then yeah, he'd never win this fight. But if you're simply removing his money after he's already become Batman, then he's still definitely a major contender in this theoretical matchup.
Yeah, I'm fascinated by this train wreck of a family. Outside of the eldest son, they don't sound dangerous, just ridiculous, borderline farcical.
Also, my money is on Captain America. What makes him great isn't his powers. Similar to Batman, I think he'd overcome the odds through tenacity and ingenuity. He has before when he's lost his powers. In fact, I'd argue Superman would do well, too, for the same reasons.
Taskmaster, I'm not so sure about. His power is copying others. As far as I know, he doesn't have any natural fighting abilities, unlike Captain America or Superman (who has sparred Batman and Wonder Woman). Take away Taskmaater's powers, and he's just another punk.
Also, my money is on Captain America. What makes him great isn't his powers. Similar to Batman, I think he'd overcome the odds through tenacity and ingenuity. He has before when he's lost his powers. In fact, I'd argue Superman would do well, too, for the same reasons.
Taskmaster, I'm not so sure about. His power is copying others. As far as I know, he doesn't have any natural fighting abilities, unlike Captain America or Superman (who has sparred Batman and Wonder Woman). Take away Taskmaater's powers, and he's just another punk.
Among the powered DC heroes, I would posit that Wonder Woman would probably have the best chance, because she's trained for all her life as a warrior. In contrast, Superman has undergone training, but not nearly as much as Diana has.
Also, you know who'd lose terribly right at the start of the fight? Billy Batson.
Also, you know who'd lose terribly right at the start of the fight? Billy Batson.
Yeah, I was thinking either Daredevil or Professor X as most fucked without powers but he's a good pick too.
GasBandit
Staff member
Outside of the Mom and the Eldest son, they're mostly Ok. The displays of conspicuous consumption, however, are many and jawdropping. I can see why my GF sometimes has moments of coming off as spoiled over the past year, though, because her whole family is one of IMMENSE privilege. Her late father was a beverly hills Doctor, and had a great many a-list celebrity clients. All the kids have a trust from Dad, which is how, for example, the younger brother's family can also afford to live in a large, nice house just down the street (the one Mom bought for them of course) here in a very affluent suburb of San Diego, up in the hills around Miramar (Yes, TOP GUN school Miramar - the other evening we watched V-22 Osprey tiltrotors practicing maneuvers over our drinks) on a high school Gym Teacher's salary.
I had no idea I was getting into this a year ago when we started dating. I thought she was a struggling single mom with a 19yo kid who had failed to launch, and she had gotten laid off by our third date.
Anyway, as I understand it, today the Eldest will be making breakfast and then leaving, which is good. He has to go pick up his girls from his ex-wife, then they'll be returning to visit further, but won't be back until tomorrow, and my flight is early so we'll miss each other. After they go, Me, GF, the Mom, and the little brother's family are going to this place called the Julian Pie Company which is apparently a big enough deal to merit a special trip.