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"Does my Thai girlfriend have a penis?" he wondered. Something inside him told him, "yes."
PatrThom
PatrThom
He would have asked her about it sooner, but it had never come up.
You can say "Have a nice day!" and it's fine, but "Enjoy the next 24 hours" sounds like a threat for some reason.
PatrThom
PatrThom
You can also imagine how people react when you say, “Treasure what remains of your current 86400 second cycle.”
If I am expected to manage my anger, stupid people should be expected to manage their stupidity.
PatrThom
PatrThom
See, that's the thing, because at least you can TELL when you're being angry.
Reading is staring at a dead piece of wood for hours and hallucinating.
PatrThom
PatrThom
I thought it was a city in Pennsylvania?
mikerc
mikerc
Dead piece of wood? Get a kindle you Luddite!
Sears started out as a mail order catalog that would deliver products right to your door. They were driven to bankruptcy by internet sites that deliver products right to your door.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Pretty sure they were driven to bankruptcy by Eddie Lampert's greed.
I'm pretty disappointed that Batman is the rich man beating up criminals and Daredevil is the blind man using echolocation, and not vice versa.
GasBandit
GasBandit
That's not the same thing. Unless there's a BLACK lantern that is actually GREEN, and a guy named Claybody who can only reshape his face.
mikerc
mikerc
Wasn't Jade a Black Lantern for a while?
PatrThom
PatrThom
Pretty sure most everyone was.
There's a point where we need to stop, and we have clearly passed it. But let's keep going, and see what happens.
PatrThom
PatrThom
You mean like, getting a ticket?
Every time you get dressed, remember: If you die, that's what your ghost will wear. Forever.
PatrThom
PatrThom
i.e., don't die naked if you can help it. Otherwise everyone will think you died on your birthday.
Dei
Dei
My ghost will be slovenly, but oh so comfy.
People with "make tea, not war" bumper stickers are pretty ignorant about the history of tea.
PatrThom
PatrThom
The "make love, not war" people are in a for a few shocks, too.
You ever notice, for special occasions, ladies with curly hair straighten it, and ladies with straight hair curl it?
PatrThom
PatrThom
And well-endowed women minimize while slender women pad.
The best part of the cucumber tastes like the worst part of the watermelon.
PatrThom
PatrThom
But put them both on the belt in the checkout lane with a jar of Vaseline and see what kind of looks you get.
When the moon hits your knees and you mispronounce trees, sycamore~~~
PatrThom
PatrThom
When converting Poe's "Raven" to text-to-speech .WAV, "Nevermore~~~"
I used to sneak out of the house to go to parties. Now I sneak out of parties so I can go home.
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It takes 45 muscles to frown, but only 10 to smile. So smiling is for the weak and lazy. Frown your way to fitness.
PatrThom
PatrThom
It only takes two muscles to close your eyes, though, and then you don't have to do either.
Few things are as gratifying as finally managing to grab that one stray ear hair with tweezers and no mirror.
PatrThom
PatrThom
Or even sans tweezers.
I don't need discord, I just need an audio file on loop "Hey Gas, I got a question.."
PatrThom
PatrThom
But it's only a QUICK question...
GasBandit
GasBandit
But a "legitimate" question!
Somewhere between Wonder Woman and "Sometimes you make me wonder, woman."
PatrThom
PatrThom
Where does "you make me feel like a natural woman" come in?
♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫Holy♫Shitballs♫
PatrThom
PatrThom
It's still a little early for Christmas music.
I'm playing the game - the one that will take me to my end. I'm waiting for the rain, to wash who I am.
The mark of maturity is enjoying things you hated as a child. For example, spankings and naps.
PatrThom
PatrThom
And brussels sprouts. Mmm, tiny cabbages.
Every day is a struggle against the idea of putting chicken nuggets in the blender and calling it a protein shake. 17 days til solid food.
When the PC Master Race curses you: "May your ping time match your frames per second."
PatrThom
PatrThom
"May your GPU temp match your FPS in °C."
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