[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

[BananaHands]

Give the vaguest description of a video game possible. See if anyone can guess it.

First up?

• Get promised a cake.
• Jump in paintings.
• Throw a dinosaur.
• Race a penguin.
• Chase a rabbit in a basement.
• Throw a dinosaur.
• Run up a staircase forever.
• Goddamn, 70? Really?
• Run up the staircase.
• Throw a dinosaur.
• Get promised a cake.

 

[Gusto]

That is Super Mario 64. I actually guess it from the first hint.

 

[BananaHands]

That is Super Mario 64. I actually guess it from the first hint.

You are correct![DOUBLEPOST=1357922348][/DOUBLEPOST]Next one:

• Famous ancestor.
• Get interviewed by a journalist.
• PIRATES!
• South America.
• NAZIS!
• JETSKI!
• ZOMBIES!
• ZOMBIE NAZIS!
• Kiss journalist.

 

[LittleKagsin]

Uncharted. No question.

 

[BananaHands]

Uncharted. No question.

Correct! Next:

• Be tiny.
• Pick up junk.
• Occasionally make it out to the street.
• DESTROY THE WORLD.

 

[Wahad]

Correct! Next:

• Be tiny.
• Pick up junk.
• Occasionally make it out to the street.
• DESTROY THE WORLD.

...Katamari?

 

[LittleKagsin]

Katamari Damacy?...

EDIT: Ninja-ed!

 

[Gusto]

NAAAA na nana na na na na Katamari Dama-shiii~

 

[BananaHands]

...Katamari?

Katamari Damacy?...

Correct!

Next up!

• Corrupt city.
• Take it to the streets.
• Have cop friends.
• "Join me?"
• Friend is a dick.
• Gets you the bad end.

 

[LittleKagsin]

I really have no idea. I'm stumped.

 

[Frank]

Kane and Lynch?

 

[BananaHands]

Er, might have been too vague. Add this to the description:

• Names sound like the American Gladiators roster.

 

[BananaHands]

FIIIINE.

It was Streets of Rage.

 

[ThatNickGuy]

I was going to say Infamous.

 

[phil]

FIIIINE.

It was Streets of Rage.

Never heard of it.

 

[Cheesy1]

• Main character is a mute ginger
• Best friend is a nerd
• Crazy blonde gets main character caught up in crazy road trip.
• Makes friends along the way with: a slippery fellow; a dude who is totally metal; a chick who is a complete neanderthal; and a goth guy with family issues.

 

[Frank]

Chrono Trigger dudicals.

- Dude gets a suit way more expensive than he could ever afford.
- Best friend has a real Jekyll and Hyde issue
- Has to fight crazy villains who often have a fondness for Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky

 

[Terrik]

-Zip through space
-Now I'm faster!
-*boom*
-Whoops! Too fast!
-Wavy lasers? Hmm...twin-linked lasers? HMM...charging exploding death lasers? YES.
- 4 floating orange orbs of death.
- *FLASH* *Everything dies*
-Shoot a mayor

-Shoot a whole damned parade of mayors
-Brains
-VICTORY

 

[BananaHands]

-Zip through space
-Now I'm faster!
-*boom*
-Whoops! Too fast!
-Wavy lasers? Hmm...twin-linked lasers? HMM...charging exploding death lasers? YES.
- 4 floating orange orbs of death.
- *FLASH* *Everything dies*
-Shoot a mayor

-Shoot a whole damned parade of mayors
-Brains
-VICTORY

Gladius??

 

[BananaHands]

• have eating disorder
• be a haunted individual
• take a bunch of pills
• resort to a diet of fruit and vegetables
• face your ghosts head on

 

[Ravenpoe]

• have eating disorder
• be a haunted individual
• take a bunch of pills
• resort to a diet of fruit and vegetables
• face your ghosts head on

Wakawakawakawaka

 

[Terrik]

Gladius??

Close Gradius.

 

[BananaHands]

Wakawakawakawaka

Correct!

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

Close Gradius.

I thought that one, but having never beat it, I didn't understand the mayor part

 

[Terrik]

I thought that one, but having never beat it, I didn't understand the mayor part

As a kid, I remember reading the instruction manual and being surprised the bosses were called mayors.

By the way, anyone else miss having wonderful, interesting game manual things to read? I remember getting a game as a kid, getting into the car and ripping into the manual to psyche myself up for when I got home.

 

[Bumble the Boy Wonder]

As a kid, I remember reading the instruction manual and being surprised the bosses were called mayors.

By the way, anyone else miss having wonderful, interesting game manual things to read? I remember getting a game as a kid, getting into the car and ripping into the manual to psyche myself up for when I got home.

Yeah, now all you get is an ad for another game, and maybe 3 days of live time or some shit..

I loved getting maps, backstory, character info, all that fun stuff

 

[BananaHands]

Chrono Trigger dudicals.

- Dude gets a suit way more expensive than he could ever afford.
- Best friend has a real Jekyll and Hyde issue
- Has to fight crazy villains who often have a fondness for Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky

I still have no idea what this could be...

 

[figmentPez]

• Work as a travel agent
• Work as a Spy
• Assistant Mechanic
• Mop Floors
• Run a Casino
• Swab Decks
• Captain a Ship
• Operate Heavy Machinery
• Travel by Dog Sled
• Rocket Scientist
• Vegas-style Stage Show
• Revolutionary / Assassin

I think I might have missed a few, but that should be enough.

 

[Frank]

I still have no idea what this could be...

Earthworm Jim

 

[BananaHands]

Earthworm Jim

GODDAMN.

 

[Gusto]

• Work as a travel agent
• Work as a Spy
• Assistant Mechanic
• Mop Floors
• Run a Casino
• Swab Decks
• Captain a Ship
• Operate Heavy Machinery
• Travel by Dog Sled
• Rocket Scientist
• Vegas-style Stage Show
• Revolutionary / Assassin

I think I might have missed a few, but that should be enough.

Hitman: Blood Money?

 

[BananaHands]

• Attempt to save princess from bad guy.
• Help save her from an evil knight.
• Stand outside her window.
• Frighten her.
• Chase her down.
• She gets saved by brave knight.
• Attempt to save princess from bad guy.

 

[Frank]

GODDAMN.

 

[figmentPez]

Hitman: Blood Money?

Nope. The first item is actually enough to solve it, but I like the crazy list.[DOUBLEPOST=1358014916][/DOUBLEPOST]

• Attempt to save princess from bad guy.
• Help save her from an evil knight.
• Stand outside her window.
• Frighten her.
• Chase her down.
• She gets saved by brave knight.
• Attempt to save princess from bad guy.

At first I thought this might be a Legend of Zelda game, but I can't think of one that actually fits.

 

[BananaHands]

It all makes sense.