[Thread Game] Terrible Video Game Descriptions (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS)

figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
Forgive me, I had way too much fun with this:

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done (Until the sequel, anyway)
Lay your weary head to rest (at an Inn, a portable house, a space-ship, wherever)
Don't you cry no more (only one or your friends really dies, there are so many fake-outs in this game.)

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion (Turn up the contrast to see hidden paths!)
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high (Lot o' flying in this game, and abuse of superior air power.)

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man (Dammnit, use some eye drops already!)
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man (That can be a useful condition, you can do 1.5x damage!)
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say ("One born from the mouth of a dragon...")

Masquerading as a man with a reason (Yeah, because a musician has much more purpose than royalty.)
My charade is the event of the season (Bah, you were much more useful in your encore performance, well after your real identity came out.)
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know (Until a mysterious light restores your memory, but knowing won't let you actually do anything until it's too late.)

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune
But I hear the voices say (Come down here now, young lady, you've been neglecting your studies long enough. So help me, I will sink that ship and your little hooligan friends too.)

Carry on, you will always remember (But your karate kicking amnesiac friend won't)
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor (Damn moon people, thinking they're all superior)
The center lights around your vanity (Travel the path to the core and the self-centered jackass who is behind all this!)
But surely heaven waits for you (Nope, just kidding, "heaven" is bugging out as soon as you fix all our problems for us.)
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

figmentPez said:
Forgive me, I had way too much fun with this:

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done (Until the sequel, anyway)
Lay your weary head to rest (at an Inn, a portable house, a space-ship, wherever)
Don't you cry no more (only one or your friends really dies, there are so many fake-outs in this game.)

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion (Turn up the contrast to see hidden paths!)
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high (Lot o' flying in this game, and abuse of superior air power.)

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man (Dammnit, use some eye drops already!)
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man (That can be a useful condition, you can do 1.5x damage!)
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say ("One born from the mouth of a dragon...")

Masquerading as a man with a reason (Yeah, because a musician has much more purpose than royalty.)
My charade is the event of the season (Bah, you were much more useful in your encore performance, well after your real identity came out.)
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know (Until a mysterious light restores your memory, but knowing won't let you actually do anything until it's too late.)

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune
But I hear the voices say (Come down here now, young lady, you've been neglecting your studies long enough. So help me, I will sink that ship and your little hooligan friends too.)

Carry on, you will always remember (But your karate kicking amnesiac friend won't)
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor (Damn moon people, thinking they're all superior)
The center lights around your vanity (Travel the path to the core and the self-centered jackass who is behind all this!)
But surely heaven waits for you (Nope, just kidding, "heaven" is bugging out as soon as you fix all our problems for us.)
Click to expand...
I'm going to ignore your actual hints and say Rock Band.
 
PatrThom

PatrThom

figmentPez said:
Yes, I was thinking of FFIV (and it was FFII in the US.)
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I played them one right after the other (SNES FFII/FFIII), so the plots get all mushed together in my head. I originally put FFIII/VI as my answer but then thought, "Wait, isn't it the first* one where someone dies?"

Isn't the pairing US/JA: FFII/IV and FFIII/VI?

--Patrick
*the first of those two, meaning FFII.
 
figmentPez

figmentPez

Staff member
PatrThom said:
I played them one right after the other (SNES FFII/FFIII), so the plots get all mushed together in my head. I originally put FFIII/VI as my answer but then thought, "Wait, isn't it the first* one where someone dies?"

Isn't the pairing US/JA: FFII/IV and FFIII/VI?

--Patrick
*the first of those two, meaning FFII.
Click to expand...
Yes, you're right on the numbering. The plot for 6 was a lot more complicated than 4's was, so I can't remember how many characters die in 6. Shadow can if you don't wait for him, and General Leo dies but isn't really a party member. I'm not sure about any others. FF4, though... I think five party members make noble sacrifices, seemingly dying for the sake of others, and by the end of the game only one of them is actually dead.
 
fade

fade

Staff member
Jeez, I've never heard of, like, 90% of these games. My parents didn't allow video games.
 
Yoshimickster

Yoshimickster

filmfanatic said:
I'm guessing Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude.
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Ding Ding Ding! I also wanted to add "Bought with fake IDs of Elementary/High School" students. Because thats how my friend got his, and more than 8 years later he still has it. Not because he likes it, but because logically no-one will buy it off him.

  • Rob a house.
  • Force beings into imprisonment.
 
Ravenpoe

Ravenpoe

Yoshimickster said:
Ding Ding Ding! I also wanted to add "Bought with fake IDs of Elementary/High School" students. Because thats how my friend got his, and more than 8 years later he still has it. Not because he likes it, but because logically no-one will buy it off him.

  • Rob a house.
  • Force beings into imprisonment.
Click to expand...

Pokemon?
 
bhamv3

bhamv3

I expect only one person on this forum can get this one:

Go through a day as a student in high school
Find that your day in high school was actually a hallucination due to a spell cast on you by a sorceress
Possibly score with girls
 
GasBandit

GasBandit

Staff member
bhamv3 said:
I expect only one person on this forum can get this one:

Go through a day as a student in high school
Find that your day in high school was actually a hallucination due to a spell cast on you by a sorceress
Possibly score with girls
Click to expand...
Spellcasting 101?

Terrik said:
Was that Roadrunner for the NES? I have vague memories of this.
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Well, it was Roadrunner, yes, but for every platform. It started out an arcade game that was ported to NES, PC, and some others I think.
 
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