[Question] What is Rape Culture?

I know that this may sound malicious, but it is not at all intended that way. Nobody here wants to discuss Rape with you, Charlie.

--Patrick
 

Dave

Staff member
I think it's an interesting article, but like everything else it's not all black & white. I would say that the cases of false rape accusations are so far below the actual rapes that it should - and I stress "should" - be hardly discussed at all. But like school shootings, which are an infinitesimal portion of the actual shooting deaths/events in the US, false rape accusations get an abnormal amount of coverage. I think it's because it plays into the narrative that gives those in power the most leverage. Do I think we're actually in a rape culture? I can't say. I haven't ever been around people who think raping or forcing someone is a good thing. So like racism, it's just something I don't see...but I'm neither a minority or a woman so I guess that's to be expected.

As to the Woody Allen thing...I think he's guilty as sin. First, the victim and her mother are the ones saying it happened, but Woody Allen himself is strangely silent on the matter. His friend has written the only real defense and it's just chock full of tidbits that make me queasy. And the fact that Woody's son says it didn't happen is not a valid accounting, either, because if Woody did it he wouldn't have done it in front of anyone else.

Having said all of that, unless either one has been proven to be lying it's just one person's word against another's. Sad truth is, even though I believe he's a pedophile rapist, I don't think there can be any way to bring enough evidence to bring him to justice and that he'll most likely get away with it. Hollywood will still laud him because he's a good director and people have a real gift for not seeing what they don't want to see.
 

Dave

Staff member
How did I miss you sent me a PM? Whoa. Reading now and sorry! My email has been wonky.[DOUBLEPOST=1391897629,1391897248][/DOUBLEPOST]Interesting. So this HAS been investigated. I'd like to see some of this information - from either side - come from a neutral party, because holy crap is this a shit situation.
 
Interesting. So this HAS been investigated. I'd like to see some of this information - from either side - come from a neutral party, because holy crap is this a shit situation.
http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2...farrow-sexual-abuse-secret-report-exonerated/

Now, there are problems with this report. The doctors destroyed their notes before submitting it, for example, so we can't go back and see the details that led to the report, only the summary of their conclusions.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
Sorry, I can't take that article Charlie posted without protest. They talk up the broadening of the definition of rape to include male victims as the major milestone it is, but also fail to mention that men forced to penetrate are still not counted as rape victims. 1 in 72 men will be raped in their lifetime under the existing definition, but if you include men forced to penetrate (and, really, all people who are forced to have sex against their will should be counted as rape victims) then the statistic jumps to 1 in 16. Not only that, but the statistics for 2010, specifically, put the number of male rape victims as equal to the number of female rape victims that year... but only if you include men who were forced to penetrate. (All numbers are from the NISVS survey done by the CDC)
 
I admittedly don't have a firm side on the Woody Allen mess other than it's incredibly fucked up for everyone to attack Dylan Farrow, since no matter WHAT you believe, she's ostensibly a victim.

But this thread was more for the broader view than the Woody Allen thing, although it's started a lot of conversations lately.

Also - I don't think "rape culture" is something that means "everyone is pro rape and thinks it's awesome".
 

Dave

Staff member
I admittedly don't have a firm side on the Woody Allen mess other than it's incredibly fucked up for everyone to attack Dylan Farrow, since no matter WHAT you believe, she's ostensibly a victim.

But this thread was more for the broader view than the Woody Allen thing, although it's started a lot of conversations lately.

Also - I don't think "rape culture" is something that means "everyone is pro rape and thinks it's awesome".
Strangely enough, I think the rape culture you're speaking of is actually driven more bu bureaucracy than anything. Like a school that has a vested interest in a sports program that favors the accused (and exacerbates the situation) regardless of evidence, or a military culture that is very pro "keep it in the unit".
 
Strangely enough, I think the rape culture you're speaking of is actually driven more bu bureaucracy than anything. Like a school that has a vested interest in a sports program that favors the accused (and exacerbates the situation) regardless of evidence, or a military culture that is very pro "keep it in the unit".
All of that shit comes from the patriarchy.
 

Dave

Staff member
On Woody: http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/02/woody-allen-sex-abuse-10-facts

On the patriarchy...well, I think that term has been flung around a lot and the meaning has been utilized as nausium to refer to any number of things from the sociological to the biological. While I would have to admit that in general the world is patriarchal, there are varying degrees of male domination. And while I agree that there should be a standard of equality, there also needs to be built into that structure an understanding that there are differences between the genders. Certain functions are more suited - IN GENERAL - to one gender or the other. But instead of trying to force some into areas where they are destined to fail, we need to understand and logically accept these differences. No, I'm not saying, "Women should be in the kitchen." I'm looking at things like military service, police/fire work, etc. Difficult, physical, and demanding jobs for which men are just better suited. Are there women who can do the jobs? Yes, of course. And there are men who can't. But in general, men are more physiologically able to perform in these instances.

Here's a great example of that. Women in the Marines can't do the required amount of pull-ups. 55% fail. So what does the Marine Corps do? They removed the exercise until they review it better. Would they do this for men? Nope. And why is this important? Because in a situation of wartime - which the Marines are training for - there are times when you need to be able to physically carry people to safety, or pull yourself up and over a wall, or any number of things that require upper body strength. Equality is one thing, but not recognizing the differences in physiology is putting people at risk.

On the flip side, women are more emotionally in tune with the world. They are much, much better at child rearing. Or if not better...different. They are generally more empathetic and nurturing, which makes them better physicians, better in the service areas, etc.

The problem is, we get so focused on the equality section, that we fail to recognize basic differences in evolutionary psychology and physiology. Or we ignore them in the name of political correctness.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
All of that shit comes from the patriarchy.
The US is about as much a patriarchy as it is a direct democracy.

Which is to say, there are patriarchal elements in our society, just as there are some elements of a direct democracy, even in our republic system, but it's hardly the defining characteristic of our culture.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
I don't think you understand what the patriarchy is or means, maybe that will be my next thread
Oh, I'm fully aware that "the patriarchy" means whatever the hell is most convenient for the politically correct argument of the week. It's like blaming something on "the weather". It's a generic enough term that it's all encompassing. Crops not doing well? It's "the weather". New restaurant went under? It's "the weather". Electricity bill higher this month? Must be "the weather". It's enough of the truth in so many cases that people don't stop to think that there are many other factors, and even if "the weather" is the sole cause of something, it's such a non-specific concept that it doesn't mean crap. Anything and everything gets blamed on "the patriarchy" and it means even less than blaming stuff on "the weather".
 
While we are slowly moving out of it I do have to scratch my head at anyone who thinks our country isn't (or at least isn't dealing with the ramifications of having been) a patriarchy (i.e. "Patriarchy is a social system in which males are the primary authority figures central to social organization, occupying roles of political leadership, moral authority, and control of property, and where fathers hold authority over women and children."). I mean, what is the evidence we aren't? Is it all the women who have been president? All the female CEO's throughout history? I mean, seriously guys, it's not some crazy concept, it's our history. It's something that is changing the more our society achieves equality but the lingering effects don't just go away. One only has to watch a documentary about sexual abuse in the military (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Invisible_War) to see how entrenched these kinds of ideologies still are in our society.

Many (most?) cultures are patriarchies. Everyone gets all pissy and defensive when the term is brought up, and I can't figure out why. It doesn't mean being a man is bad or being a man in power is bad. It's more of a historical and cultural fact.
 
Oh, I'm fully aware that "the patriarchy" means whatever the hell is most convenient for the politically correct argument of the week. It's like blaming something on "the weather". It's a generic enough term that it's all encompassing. Crops not doing well? It's "the weather". New restaurant went under? It's "the weather". Electricity bill higher this month? Must be "the weather". It's enough of the truth in so many cases that people don't stop to think that there are many other factors, and even if "the weather" is the sole cause of something, it's such a non-specific concept that it doesn't mean crap. Anything and everything gets blamed on "the patriarchy" and it means even less than blaming stuff on "the weather".
You have no idea what you're talking about. I regret not ignoring this post the second I saw the word "politically correct". I am dumber for having read it all. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
 
Charlie, lets dial it back a few here ok? Not every discussion has to be set at 11, just because you drew an 11 on your amp.
 
Antagonizing someone after I've asked for us to try and keep the discussion a little calmer isn't going to help.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
Many (most?) cultures are patriarchies. Everyone gets all pissy and defensive when the term is brought up, and I can't figure out why. It doesn't mean being a man is bad or being a man in power is bad. It's more of a historical and cultural fact.
Because far too many people believe that "an individual male = the patriarchy", and, like I said, so many things get blamed on it in such a generic way that it doesn't actually mean much to say it. Acknowledging that there are patriarchal elements in our society is different than people raving about "the patriarchy" like they protested against "the man" back in the 60s. "The patriarchy" is often treated as if it's an Illuminati type organization, and not a system of interacting social trends.

Different people use "the patriarchy" to mean different things, and I have yet to have any point to a definitive definition of the term, even specifically relating to sociology. While there is some agreement on what a patriarchal society is structured like, that's different than The Patriarchy, and I'll wager dollars to donuts that Charlie was about to start talking about The Patriarchy as if it's an organized system, some political machine designed to benefit all men at the expense of all women.[DOUBLEPOST=1391908472,1391908278][/DOUBLEPOST]
White, straight, cis men absolutely cannot stand the idea that they have privilege.
Yes, because an illiterate, short, disfigured, in-debt-up-to-his-eyeballs, West Virginia coal miner with no clean water to drink is inherently more privileged than any woman, simply because he's a white, straight, cis-gendered male. Obviously he has much more political sway and control over his life than say, Michelle Obama, who is so inherently disadvantaged by being a minority female that she couldn't possibly get anyone to listen to her, or exercise power in any way. No privilege to be found in her life.
 
White, straight, cis men absolutely cannot stand the idea that they have privilege.
My experience says that it's a very true thing, but I think a big part of the reason it's true isn't just because it's hard to come to terms with the fact that one is privileged but because the people often telling them that do it like assholes.

You know how I finally figured out that Rush Limbaugh was lying to me about the evil "liberal" agenda to destroy men and how feminists were just "making this all up because they had their periods" (ha! It's so funny!)?

I got married.

I got married to a strong, fiery woman who was told by people in the army she wasn't worth as much as a man. She was told by people at her school that she should drop her major because no one will hire women for that job. She was told by people in her church to give up on doing anything but taking care of kids. She was told by men in society that her worth was her vagina and tits by way of some dude across the street yelling that she should suck his dick.

And then I had a daughter.

And I loathe the idea of her growing up in a society where if she is abused or raped people in authority will ask her what she was wearing or did she "lead them on". I loathe the idea that if she is raped men and women alike will say, "She's just a kid, she probably doesn't remember right" or "You can't trust a kid" or even better "maybe she's lying to get that man in trouble, because that has happened so lets suspect all abuse victims" I loathe the idea that anyone will tell her she can't do a certain job because she's "just a woman" or treat her like a sexual object because they've been told their whole life that women are just that, objects for men to enjoy.

I've held the views that the "patriarchy" and "white male privilege" and "feminazi" were jokes. I've held the view that women are not men's equals and are mainly good for raising kids and not much else. I've held those views and only in the last 10 years or so have I come to understand how offensive those views are and how much damage they can cause. But it didn't change overnight. I didn't wake up and realize I was privileged until I saw it for myself. Lets not berate others for holding a different view, these things go DEEP into people's cultures and lives. It's not going to change overnight. Talking about it in a rational way might plant some seeds, as cheesy as that sounds, that someone can't shake. Weirder things have happened.
 
Because far too many people believe that "an individual male = the patriarchy", and, like I said, so many things get blamed on it in such a generic way that it doesn't actually mean much to say it. Acknowledging that there are patriarchal elements in our society is different than people raving about "the patriarchy" like they protested against "the man" back in the 60s. "The patriarchy" is often treated as if it's an Illuminati type organization, and not a system of interacting social trends.

Different people use "the patriarchy" to mean different things, and I have yet to have any point to a definitive definition of the term, even specifically relating to sociology. While there is some agreement on what a patriarchal society is structured like, that's different than The Patriarchy, and I'll wager dollars to donuts that Charlie was about to start talking about The Patriarchy as if it's an organized system, some political machine designed to benefit all men at the expense of all women.
Although mentions to the patriarchy could be read with this 'organization' interpretation, as far as I know I have never seen it used in a way that was inequivocably this and as far as I've been able to understand what people meant, I've always seen it used as something like 'the social and psychological mechanisms that establish and maintain societal power of males over females'. I mean, phrases like 'we are all the patriarchy' or 'it's in all of us' are not unusual (maybe my wording is bc I'm falling asleep but you get the gist of it).

So I think you may be misinterpreting some feminist ideas and attacking a strawman. That, or I misinterpreted you, but I don't think that's the case.
 
Because far too many people believe that "an individual male = the patriarchy", and, like I said, so many things get blamed on it in such a generic way that it doesn't actually mean much to say it. Acknowledging that there are patriarchal elements in our society is different than people raving about "the patriarchy" like they protested against "the man" back in the 60s. "The patriarchy" is often treated as if it's an Illuminati type organization, and not a system of interacting social trends.

Different people use "the patriarchy" to mean different things, and I have yet to have any point to a definitive definition of the term, even specifically relating to sociology. While there is some agreement on what a patriarchal society is structured like, that's different than The Patriarchy, and I'll wager dollars to donuts that Charlie was about to start talking about The Patriarchy as if it's an organized system, some political machine designed to benefit all men at the expense of all women.[DOUBLEPOST=1391908472,1391908278][/DOUBLEPOST]
I can't speak for Charlie (nor am I interested in doing so) but I can't disagree more that there isn't a basic definition and that it's a big part of our cultural and social heritage (but certainly not an "illuminati" type thing). I think dismissing it is far to similar to the textbooks I had to read as a kid in religious private school that basically said that women preferred life in the 40's and 50's or the Duck Dynasty guy saying that black people loved living under Jim Crow. I'm not saying lay all of our societal faults on it, but it's hard to deny we are a country steeped in patriarchal thinking, or at least we used to be.

Yes, because an illiterate, short, disfigured, in-debt-up-to-his-eyeballs, West Virginia coal miner with no clean water to drink is inherently more privileged than any woman, simply because he's a white, straight, cis-gendered male. Obviously he has much more political sway and control over his life than say, Michelle Obama, who is so inherently disadvantaged by being a minority female that she couldn't possibly get anyone to listen to her, or exercise power in any way. No privilege to be found in her life.
Thats not really how the idea of privilege works, but I think you know that.

And some of them feel a deep guilt over this, and thus flagellate themselves (and others) in order to atone for their perceived transgression(s) which are nothing more than an accident of birth.

--Patrick
This is also true not helpful at all in the fight for equality in our society.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
So I think you may be misinterpreting some feminist ideas and attacking a strawman. That, or I misinterpreted you, but I don't think that's the case.
While there is a lot of grey area, I'm trying to draw a distinction between people who talk about "patriarchy" and those who talk about "The Patriarchy", because in my experience there is a marked difference. I mean, when people who talk about "the patriarchy" also say stuff like "The only way to make men equal to women is to bring them down," (source), yeah, I feel justified in thinking that there are a lot of people with a fucked up view of the concept.
 
I think you are talking about the difference between people who are dicks and people who aren't. Don't assume everyone who discusses things like patriarchy or privilege is a "man-hater". That sort of thinking from either side doesn't do anyone any good in this case, unless the goal is to just shout each other down. That I have no interest in.
 

figmentPez

Staff member
I can't speak for Charlie (nor am I interested in doing so) but I can't disagree more that there isn't a basic definition and that it's a big part of our cultural and social heritage (but certainly not an "illuminati" type thing). I think dismissing it is far to similar to the textbooks I had to read as a kid in religious private school that basically said that women preferred life in the 40's and 50's or the Duck Dynasty guy saying that black people loved living under Jim Crow. I'm not saying lay all of our societal faults on it, but it's hard to deny we are a country steeped in patriarchal thinking, or at least we used to be.
Okay, but is that basic definition, and acknowledgement that we do have a history of predominantly male power in our society the same thing as saying "All of that shit comes from the patriarchy." Because that's a pretty big leap, and why I have reacted as strongly as I did. There are a lot of social systems that have little or nothing to do with men being in power that play into sweeping sexual assault under the rug in various settings. Now, if Charlie had said all that stuff was related to the patriarchal elements in our society, I'd have been far more willing to listen, but you know damn well that there are a lot of people out there who want to pretend that men are the sole cause of sexual violence, and men being in power is the reason that sexual violence is prevalent.
 
Okay, but is that basic definition, and acknowledgement that we do have a history of predominantly male power in our society the same thing as saying "All of that shit comes from the patriarchy." Because that's a pretty big leap, and why I have reacted as strongly as I did. There are a lot of social systems that have little or nothing to do with men being in power that play into sweeping sexual assault under the rug in various settings. Now, if Charlie had said all that stuff was related to the patriarchal elements in our society, I'd have been far more willing to listen, but you know damn well that there are a lot of people out there who want to pretend that men are the sole cause of sexual violence, and men being in power is the reason that sexual violence is prevalent.
a) I think it's, uh, a little weird to not see how sexual violence perpetrated by men isn't on some level tied into the concepts of male privilege and patriarchal systems. I can't figure out how to NOT connect them. Of course it's never as easy as blaming 1 sociological idea, we all know that theres far more factors than that. But a connection? Of course.

b) I'm not entirely sure what all the "stuff" you are talking about is. Did I miss something? I don't think anyone blamed all of societies problems on the patriarchal systems in our country. However, you can't deny that when you have a dominant cultural ideology it MUST take some responsibility for it's influence.
 
While there is a lot of grey area, I'm trying to draw a distinction between people who talk about "patriarchy" and those who talk about "The Patriarchy", because in my experience there is a marked difference. I mean, when people who talk about "the patriarchy" also say stuff like "The only way to make men equal to women is to bring them down," (source), yeah, I feel justified in thinking that there are a lot of people with a fucked up view of the concept.
Well, I've often found myself using 'the patriarchy' in the same way the image uses 'patriarchy' (expressing the same idea even), but not in the way the comment does. So that's a data point in the other direction ;)

There's certainly some people who view feminism as "we'll take men down and be on top ourselves" but:
- I don't think they are really feminists, they are just sexists. And I hate them for not understanding shit and working against equality.
- I still don't think the view of the patriarchy as something explicit or organized a la Illuminati is widespread.

I'll concede that people who use The Patriarchy (especially if it's with capital T and P) are much more likely to be extremists or not-really-feminists than people who don't, if nothing else because someone who doesn't spend some time thinking or battling on this issues wouldn't do it.
 
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